Don't Let a Guy Waste Your Most Eligible Years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Looks, folks.

In the end, you marry what you can get, just like everyone else. If you think that x is "too old" for you or "y" must be a loser because he's never been married, then keep looking.

Just don't be surprised to find that your reach exceeds your grasp and you end up having to scramble like every other "successful" thirty something with high expectations. In the end, it's not about what you deserve, it' about old fashioned economics: supply and demand.


well put. i know several women 32-34, who are well-educated, with good careers, and attractive. they are single and getting bitter about it because they think they deserve, and i quote, "a multi-millionaire who can provide me the fabulous lifestyle i deserve."

i remain silent in these conversations. but i think to myself- you will remain single if you project that attitude.

This has been said before, but most men do not care about the well-educated/good careers thingy...that is something women find attractive about other women. I have a few friend like your...they a self delusional.

Most men maybe but intelligent men (ie those who on usually have good careers) want intelligent women and intelligent women like to be educated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My college bf and I broke up at 24. While upsetting, this was not overly daunting at the time because of all the opportunities to still meet people: grad school being the main one. I'm married now, but I think it would be REALLY hard to meet someone now at 30. School mixers are no more. Professional happy hours are for networking, not dating. No single girlfriends to go out with after work to bars and meet guys, etc.

It's not hard to meet someone at 30, and I had tons of single girlfriends at 30. I am surprised you would say that.

It's because she has no idea what she's talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My college bf and I broke up at 24. While upsetting, this was not overly daunting at the time because of all the opportunities to still meet people: grad school being the main one. I'm married now, but I think it would be REALLY hard to meet someone now at 30. School mixers are no more. Professional happy hours are for networking, not dating. No single girlfriends to go out with after work to bars and meet guys, etc.

It's not hard to meet someone at 30, and I had tons of single girlfriends at 30. I am surprised you would say that.

It's because she has no idea what she's talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm the PP who thinks it would be very hard to meet someone now. I have 2 single girlfriends in DC. 2. All of my other friends are married or in long term relationships. I'm also a lawyer. After a day of work, trying to get to the gym, and other life errands/chores etc, combined with very few wingwomen...I think it would be difficult.

Screw the wingwomen: Take control and charge of your life and stop sitting on your hands and ass, waiting for men to approach you and ask you out. That's the simplest answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My college bf and I broke up at 24. While upsetting, this was not overly daunting at the time because of all the opportunities to still meet people: grad school being the main one. I'm married now, but I think it would be REALLY hard to meet someone now at 30. School mixers are no more. Professional happy hours are for networking, not dating. No single girlfriends to go out with after work to bars and meet guys, etc.

It's not hard to meet someone at 30, and I had tons of single girlfriends at 30. I am surprised you would say that.

It's because she has no idea what she's talking about.

There is no 1 size fits all answer. It is MY opinion that it would be difficult to meet someone at 30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
There is no 1 size fits all answer. It is MY opinion that it would be difficult to meet someone at 30.

Why difficult?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm the PP who thinks it would be very hard to meet someone now. I have 2 single girlfriends in DC. 2. All of my other friends are married or in long term relationships. I'm also a lawyer. After a day of work, trying to get to the gym, and other life errands/chores etc, combined with very few wingwomen...I think it would be difficult.

Screw the wingwomen: Take control and charge of your life and stop sitting on your hands and ass, waiting for men to approach you and ask you out. That's the simplest answer.

i think the point was that- in your 30s, the number of social events with singles are fewer than in 20s. my sister in law has a best friend who is also single. they go out almost every weekend looking for guys. it turns into a competition between them since they are both single and looking. since they don't really have a lot of other local single friends, the alternative is to go places alone?

i invite them both to various social events, but they usually decline, because they assume (correctly) that the scene will be mainly couples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There is no 1 size fits all answer. It is MY opinion that it would be difficult to meet someone at 30.

Why difficult?

School mixers are no more. Professional happy hours are for networking, not dating. No single girlfriends to go out with after work to bars and meet guys, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There is no 1 size fits all answer. It is MY opinion that it would be difficult to meet someone at 30.

Why difficult?

Difficult because people who are unhappily single in their 30s are single for some reason(s).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looks, folks.

In the end, you marry what you can get, just like everyone else. If you think that x is "too old" for you or "y" must be a loser because he's never been married, then keep looking.

Just don't be surprised to find that your reach exceeds your grasp and you end up having to scramble like every other "successful" thirty something with high expectations. In the end, it's not about what you deserve, it' about old fashioned economics: supply and demand.

Yes, but we are trying to remind young women not to sell high and buy low just because of fear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm the PP who thinks it would be very hard to meet someone now. I have 2 single girlfriends in DC. 2. All of my other friends are married or in long term relationships. I'm also a lawyer. After a day of work, trying to get to the gym, and other life errands/chores etc, combined with very few wingwomen...I think it would be difficult.

Screw the wingwomen: Take control and charge of your life and stop sitting on your hands and ass, waiting for men to approach you and ask you out. That's the simplest answer.

i think the point was that- in your 30s, the number of social events with singles are fewer than in 20s. my sister in law has a best friend who is also single. they go out almost every weekend looking for guys. it turns into a competition between them since they are both single and looking. since they don't really have a lot of other local single friends, the alternative is to go places alone?

i invite them both to various social events, but they usually decline, because they assume (correctly) that the scene will be mainly couples.

I can't relate to that at all. My busiest dating years were from 30 to 34. The number of social events doesn't dwindle at all, they become more sophisticated and you are much more likely to meet people interested in marrying and settling down. You may meet a lot of people going out in their 20s but their agenda may be very far from marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm the PP who thinks it would be very hard to meet someone now. I have 2 single girlfriends in DC. 2. All of my other friends are married or in long term relationships. I'm also a lawyer. After a day of work, trying to get to the gym, and other life errands/chores etc, combined with very few wingwomen...I think it would be difficult.

Screw the wingwomen: Take control and charge of your life and stop sitting on your hands and ass, waiting for men to approach you and ask you out. That's the simplest answer.

i think the point was that- in your 30s, the number of social events with singles are fewer than in 20s. my sister in law has a best friend who is also single. they go out almost every weekend looking for guys. it turns into a competition between them since they are both single and looking. since they don't really have a lot of other local single friends, the alternative is to go places alone?

i invite them both to various social events, but they usually decline, because they assume (correctly) that the scene will be mainly couples.

That is not good strategy in my opinion. When I was single I went out with groups of couples or married girlfriends frequently. 1. There is no competition. 2. They want you to meet someone and will try to help. 3. If they are in a successful relationship then they probably have better advice on relationships than a perpetually single girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm the PP who thinks it would be very hard to meet someone now. I have 2 single girlfriends in DC. 2. All of my other friends are married or in long term relationships. I'm also a lawyer. After a day of work, trying to get to the gym, and other life errands/chores etc, combined with very few wingwomen...I think it would be difficult.

Screw the wingwomen: Take control and charge of your life and stop sitting on your hands and ass, waiting for men to approach you and ask you out. That's the simplest answer.

i think the point was that- in your 30s, the number of social events with singles are fewer than in 20s. my sister in law has a best friend who is also single. they go out almost every weekend looking for guys. it turns into a competition between them since they are both single and looking. since they don't really have a lot of other local single friends, the alternative is to go places alone?

i invite them both to various social events, but they usually decline, because they assume (correctly) that the scene will be mainly couples.

That is not good strategy in my opinion. When I was single I went out with groups of couples or married girlfriends frequently. 1. There is no competition. 2. They want you to meet someone and will try to help. 3. If they are in a successful relationship then they probably have better advice on relationships than a perpetually single girlfriend.

This. PP here. It boggles my mind that SIL considers herself best friend's "dating coach." And vice versa. I wouldn't take dating and relationship advice from perpetually single friends. They decline the invitations because they say they don't want to be 3rd wheel among couples, and they can't relate/don't want to talk about buying houses, pregnancy, vacations etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm the PP who thinks it would be very hard to meet someone now. I have 2 single girlfriends in DC. 2. All of my other friends are married or in long term relationships. I'm also a lawyer. After a day of work, trying to get to the gym, and other life errands/chores etc, combined with very few wingwomen...I think it would be difficult.

Screw the wingwomen: Take control and charge of your life and stop sitting on your hands and ass, waiting for men to approach you and ask you out. That's the simplest answer.

i think the point was that- in your 30s, the number of social events with singles are fewer than in 20s. my sister in law has a best friend who is also single. they go out almost every weekend looking for guys. it turns into a competition between them since they are both single and looking. since they don't really have a lot of other local single friends, the alternative is to go places alone?

i invite them both to various social events, but they usually decline, because they assume (correctly) that the scene will be mainly couples.

That is not good strategy in my opinion. When I was single I went out with groups of couples or married girlfriends frequently. 1. There is no competition. 2. They want you to meet someone and will try to help. 3. If they are in a successful relationship then they probably have better advice on relationships than a perpetually single girlfriend.

take a good amount of self-confidence to do that, and i applaud you for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looks, folks.

In the end, you marry what you can get, just like everyone else. If you think that x is "too old" for you or "y" must be a loser because he's never been married, then keep looking.

Just don't be surprised to find that your reach exceeds your grasp and you end up having to scramble like every other "successful" thirty something with high expectations. In the end, it's not about what you deserve, it' about old fashioned economics: supply and demand.

Yes, but we are trying to remind young women not to sell high and buy low just because of fear.

Sell high and buy low is pretty sound advice if you ask me.