Don't Let a Guy Waste Your Most Eligible Years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This post reflects some fucked up notions about a woman's value. As if physical beauty is the beginning and end of what she has to offer. As if it's a good idea for her to "lock in" a life time with a guy who wouldn't want to be with her if she met him in her 30s. As if it's illegal for her to propose.

Date someone who is kind to you. If you love them, marry them. If they don't want to get married & you do, move on to someone else who is kind to you. Repeat as necessary.

The physical beauty is tied directly to fertility. Fertility is the true and perishable asset you have to focus on. We are like people who are born rich and don't understand the nature of our wealth maybe until it is too late and losers and hangers on have 'helped' us waste our asset. But with smart management and focus you can have great happiness and bring wonderful kids into the world, something only we can do. So it is a responsibility too. Those wonderful kids can't get born until we quit wasting our time and set the agenda.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This post reflects some fucked up notions about a woman's value. As if physical beauty is the beginning and end of what she has to offer. As if it's a good idea for her to "lock in" a life time with a guy who wouldn't want to be with her if she met him in her 30s. As if it's illegal for her to propose.

Date someone who is kind to you. If you love them, marry them. If they don't want to get married & you do, move on to someone else who is kind to you. Repeat as necessary.

There's an article about some Chechen 17 year old who was forced to marry an old man recently, and some political official came out in defense of the forced marriage saying that it's cultural since they feel a woman's beauty has faded by age 27. It was on daily mail last night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This post reflects some fucked up notions about a woman's value. As if physical beauty is the beginning and end of what she has to offer. As if it's a good idea for her to "lock in" a life time with a guy who wouldn't want to be with her if she met him in her 30s. As if it's illegal for her to propose.

Date someone who is kind to you. If you love them, marry them. If they don't want to get married & you do, move on to someone else who is kind to you. Repeat as necessary.

I agree. I feel like OP's advice is 80 years out of date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's an interesting scenario. I've actually been in a relationship with a woman who was 37 when I was 32. Clearly I had the time advantage on my side (no biological clock, etc.). However, at one point in the relationship she did some really unfair stuff to me (including us going sexless for 1 year). Rather than break up with her, I stuck around for 2 extra years just to make sure she lost something (time) too. Seemed fair to me. I was in no rush to move on and we got along as friends, just our sex life had gone to crap. So I basically waited her out. She realized I wouldn't propose when the sex life didn't come back. And she also realized she was about to turn 39. I feel like it was fair.

Wait. You wasted two years of your life with someone to get even?! Talk about shooting yourself in the foot! I would say you two sound perfect for each other.

Except I was a 32 year old male. I'm now 35. Doing much better on the dating market. My ex hasn't found anyone. JUSTICE WAS SERVED.

Whether male or female it is weird to think it is a positive thing you spent two years in a relationship you knew was doomed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's an interesting scenario. I've actually been in a relationship with a woman who was 37 when I was 32. Clearly I had the time advantage on my side (no biological clock, etc.). However, at one point in the relationship she did some really unfair stuff to me (including us going sexless for 1 year). Rather than break up with her, I stuck around for 2 extra years just to make sure she lost something (time) too. Seemed fair to me. I was in no rush to move on and we got along as friends, just our sex life had gone to crap. So I basically waited her out. She realized I wouldn't propose when the sex life didn't come back. And she also realized she was about to turn 39. I feel like it was fair.

Wait. You wasted two years of your life with someone to get even?! Talk about shooting yourself in the foot! I would say you two sound perfect for each other.

Except I was a 32 year old male. I'm now 35. Doing much better on the dating market. My ex hasn't found anyone. JUSTICE WAS SERVED.

Whether male or female it is weird to think it is a positive thing you spent two years in a relationship you knew was doomed.

...and sexless. That's truly bizarre.

Maybe she cut off the sex because she wanted you to leave? Maybe she didn't want to be the one to end it because she didn't want to hurt your feelings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This post reflects some fucked up notions about a woman's value. As if physical beauty is the beginning and end of what she has to offer. As if it's a good idea for her to "lock in" a life time with a guy who wouldn't want to be with her if she met him in her 30s. As if it's illegal for her to propose.

Date someone who is kind to you. If you love them, marry them. If they don't want to get married & you do, move on to someone else who is kind to you. Repeat as necessary.

It's pretty naive to say this is just about beauty as a woman's value. It's about a woman knowing what she wants. My friend is wasting her time with her boyfriend because he's made it clear he's nowhere near ready to get married even though they've been together for 6 years. She'll be 30 in 2 months. She has ALWAYS wanted to be married and have kids before she's 35. She's made that clear to him numerous times. She loves him and keeps hoping he will magically be ready. It's hard to just dump someone after spending so much time with them. But its also unfair to her. Her boyfriend knows what she wants and yet won't give it to her by either proposing or breaking up with her. She won't propose because she knows that's not what he wants.

Now let's say they break up next year when she's 31. That gives her 4 years to meet someone, get married, and have kids. Her market of finding guys that are going to be great is smaller since 30 is around the age that the number of eligible people really begins to drop off.

Sure, it would be nice if it was as easy as "move on to someone else" but the reality is moving on after a certain number of years is pretty damn hard.

[Anonymous]

I plan on making this message very clear to my daughters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's an interesting scenario. I've actually been in a relationship with a woman who was 37 when I was 32. Clearly I had the time advantage on my side (no biological clock, etc.). However, at one point in the relationship she did some really unfair stuff to me (including us going sexless for 1 year). Rather than break up with her, I stuck around for 2 extra years just to make sure she lost something (time) too. Seemed fair to me. I was in no rush to move on and we got along as friends, just our sex life had gone to crap. So I basically waited her out. She realized I wouldn't propose when the sex life didn't come back. And she also realized she was about to turn 39. I feel like it was fair.

Wait. You wasted two years of your life with someone to get even?! Talk about shooting yourself in the foot! I would say you two sound perfect for each other.

Except I was a 32 year old male. I'm now 35. Doing much better on the dating market. My ex hasn't found anyone. JUSTICE WAS SERVED.

I call bull. No guy would willingly subject himself to two years without sex just to get back at someone.

I said I wasn't having sex with her. I didn't say I wasn't having sex. Duh.

Riiiight. Cool story bro

Agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I plan on making this message very clear to my daughters.

yes (a father)

[Anonymous]

All excellent advice to ensure an unhappy marriage 10 years hence then child-damaging divorce. Where's a shotgun when you need it for the wedding?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post reflects some fucked up notions about a woman's value. As if physical beauty is the beginning and end of what she has to offer. As if it's a good idea for her to "lock in" a life time with a guy who wouldn't want to be with her if she met him in her 30s. As if it's illegal for her to propose.

Date someone who is kind to you. If you love them, marry them. If they don't want to get married & you do, move on to someone else who is kind to you. Repeat as necessary.

I agree. I feel like OP's advice is 80 years out of date.

OP would not have given this advice 80 years ago because people got married in their late teens or early 20s because there was no reliable birth control and they wanted to have sex. Go look at the forum on infertility and then get back with us. There are a lot of people who regret wasting time.

[Anonymous]

I have always advised my friends to start discussing marriage at 2 years and leave by 2.5-3 years if he hasn't proposed. Shit or get off the pot.

[Anonymous]

I have made it clear to my daughter's but this generation does not seem to feel the pressure of the biological clock. Perhaps hearing too many "had her 1st baby at 40 " stories has warped their view of how it actually ticks.

[Anonymous]

*daughters

[Anonymous]

If I understand the Old Testament correctly, there were many instances of people "laying down" with someone and that was considered marriage.