Why so many single men not interested in dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This forum. Can you even read?

This anonymous forum where there's no proof that anyone posting is actually a heterosexual female?

[Anonymous]

Men are indeed dropping out of the dating scene. There aren't many quality women. There are three people in the relationship: them, the woman they are dating, and her therapist giving her really bad advice. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Single man 40 here. I want children but dating has been such a slog that I’ve basically given up. I’m 6’1” and a Navy veteran. Currently making good money in defense tech. Healthy (lift and run regularly) with broad social life.

For some reason the women that I want aren’t interested in me. My hinge is set for 27-32 because I want children. Women closer to my age don’t interest me. I tried dating a few in the 35-43 range and they all struggled with vulnerability and emotional communication. May have been my filtering but these were all professional women who dedicated everything to their careers.

Recently I deleted my Hinge and stopped looking. I don’t want to be an old father. My best friends dad was in his 80s when we were in college and I don’t want that experience if I have children.

I don’t get lonely and I’m used to living alone. So dating is optional and less desirable for me now.

I was in your shoes and dating at 39.

Most of the women in the D.C. area seem to be struggling with one mental illness or another. Don’t need all that extra baggage before a relationship (potentially life-long) even gets started.

Also, from what I encountered, so many American women (at least around here) have other issues, not the least of which are their completely unrealistic expectations of men (their “6-6-6-6” rule, how 90% of women chase the top 5% of men and ignore the rest, etc.).

I lucked out. Married a terrific woman from Europe; one kid off to college in the Fall; another doing exceedingly well in HS. Have advised DS to try to marry a woman who was not raised in the USA.

I don't believe this. And you can't prove it

MAGAs fully believe whatever dumbass narrative they craft in their head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men are indeed dropping out of the dating scene. There aren't many quality women. There are three people in the relationship: them, the woman they are dating, and her therapist giving her really bad advice. No thanks.

If definition of quality women for a 40 yo man is limited to women 27-32 years of age, obviously he won’t have much selection

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...For some reason the women that I want aren’t interested in me. My hinge is set for 27-32 because I want children. Women closer to my age don’t interest me. I tried dating a few in the 35-43 range and they all struggled with vulnerability and emotional communication...

Actually what was going on was the women your age had enough experience to recognize that you are a LOSER from a mile off. When you can't get along with people your age - it is YOU, not them. The problem is with YOU.

So you go for the less experienced, more naive 27 yo women in hopes that they don't have the radar to spot that a guy like you is a big red flag. TG it sounds like these younger women aren't interested in you either.

You tried dating a "few" age appropriate women - maybe try a few more. If they are rejecting you too, it's your personality, not their struggles with "vulnerability and emotional communication". GMAFB.

Stop thinking women 13 years younger than you want your aging sperm and loser personality. Work on yourself and when the women within a few years of your age respond positively, you will know you have made progress.

[Anonymous]

So many single men aren't interested in dating because women get pickier as they age. It's amazing how many 40 something women would rather stay home and watch TV and play with their cats than actually go on dates.

And then they have the nerve to blame the guys who actually ask them out. They get off on the ego boost of being asked on dates and then act like they can do better. While they stay home and binge on ice cream and Netflix. Some life to live in a great city like DC.

Your loss!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many single men aren't interested in dating because women get pickier as they age. It's amazing how many 40 something women would rather stay home and watch TV and play with their cats than actually go on dates.

Rejecting others before you are rejected is a textbook self-sabotaging coping mechanism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men are indeed dropping out of the dating scene. There aren't many quality women. There are three people in the relationship: them, the woman they are dating, and her therapist giving her really bad advice. No thanks.

My husband loves it when I'm in therapy because then I have somewhere to talk about all the stuff I need to talk about and I'm more chill with him.

Good therapists don't give you advice anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many single men aren't interested in dating because women get pickier as they age. It's amazing how many 40 something women would rather stay home and watch TV and play with their cats than actually go on dates.

And then they have the nerve to blame the guys who actually ask them out. They get off on the ego boost of being asked on dates and then act like they can do better. While they stay home and binge on ice cream and Netflix. Some life to live in a great city like DC.

Your loss!

Hmm, as a 40-something woman, I'm not sitting at home watching Netflix and binging ice cream.

It's more like, with the vast majority of men, I have to take charge on everything. I have to suggest meeting up, plan the date, make sure it's something he enjoys, get ready for it, keep the conversation going, etc.

If I'm going to put that much effort into an outing, I'd rather go do something I like. Go take a yoga or a ballet class, go hiking, or check out a museum or something. Which not many men are interested in doing. And I don't really want to waste an entire evening at a restaurant I don't like all that much (WHY do so many men only want to eat bar food??)

When they do initiate and plan dates, it's usually pretty lackluster (and often very last-minute). The last guy who asked me out invited me over for dinner, where he served me a single chicken breast and nothing else, put a Netflix movie on, and then tried to grope me the entire time. Yuck.

When a guy can actually plan ahead, plan an interesting date that I'd enjoy, and not use it as a ploy to get laid, I'll happily go out with him. But bare minimum effort isn't worth my time, when I can be doing the things I actually enjoy.

If men stop dating me because that's "picky", that's fine. We're both happier not wasting each others' time.

[Anonymous]

I recently turned 37 last week, and life has been fantastic for me as a heterosexual male. I was fortunate enough to be raised by a tiger mom to do really well in school, learned a lot of lifetime hobbies growing up, and was blessed with good looks from my Caucasian father and Asian mother. I make over 700k/yr in Fintech, and with my work schedule, I spend whatever time I have outside of work on my hobbies, such as music (guitar), sport (swimming and pickleball), photography, and Iron Man training.

I start my workday at 7am, and leave work at 5pm. After work, I go to Lifetime to swim for 60 minutes, play Pickleball at Lifetime with my friends for another 90 minutes, have dinner at 8:30pm, practice music for 45 minutes, and bedtime after that. On the weekend, I do Iron Man training for upcoming Iron Man events. I have a brother who is two years younger than I am, and he was raised exactly the same way I did, and he got married at the age of 29. I have to make an appointment with him anytime we want to get together, and he stopped all of his hobbies, same as mine when we were growing up, after he and his wife had kids.

I dated beautiful women between the ages of 22 and 26, and they all wanted me to be exclusive with them. However, I told them that I want to be FWB because I love my single life. I do want to have kids someday, and I might pay someone to make that happen for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Single man 40 here. I want children but dating has been such a slog that I’ve basically given up. I’m 6’1” and a Navy veteran. Currently making good money in defense tech. Healthy (lift and run regularly) with broad social life.

For some reason the women that I want aren’t interested in me. My hinge is set for 27-32 because I want children. Women closer to my age don’t interest me. I tried dating a few in the 35-43 range and they all struggled with vulnerability and emotional communication. May have been my filtering but these were all professional women who dedicated everything to their careers.

Recently I deleted my Hinge and stopped looking. I don’t want to be an old father. My best friends dad was in his 80s when we were in college and I don’t want that experience if I have children.

I don’t get lonely and I’m used to living alone. So dating is optional and less desirable for me now.

Your problem is your age range for women. No 27-32 year old wants to date a 40-year-old. You can find someone 35-38 to have kids with. Almost every woman I know had their kids 35+ without any issues whatsoever. The "35" fertitlity myth has been debunked. Very late 30s and into forties is hard but I know many many women who had kids late 30s without any issue whatsover and not with IVF. The only person I know who did IVF was in her 20s (fertility issues are often no related to age at all). If you focused on women within 5 years younger, you would have much better luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently turned 37 last week, and life has been fantastic for me as a heterosexual male. I was fortunate enough to be raised by a tiger mom to do really well in school, learned a lot of lifetime hobbies growing up, and was blessed with good looks from my Caucasian father and Asian mother. I make over 700k/yr in Fintech, and with my work schedule, I spend whatever time I have outside of work on my hobbies, such as music (guitar), sport (swimming and pickleball), photography, and Iron Man training.

I start my workday at 7am, and leave work at 5pm. After work, I go to Lifetime to swim for 60 minutes, play Pickleball at Lifetime with my friends for another 90 minutes, have dinner at 8:30pm, practice music for 45 minutes, and bedtime after that. On the weekend, I do Iron Man training for upcoming Iron Man events. I have a brother who is two years younger than I am, and he was raised exactly the same way I did, and he got married at the age of 29. I have to make an appointment with him anytime we want to get together, and he stopped all of his hobbies, same as mine when we were growing up, after he and his wife had kids.

I dated beautiful women between the ages of 22 and 26, and they all wanted me to be exclusive with them. However, I told them that I want to be FWB because I love my single life. I do want to have kids someday, and I might pay someone to make that happen for me.

Ah, yes, because so many rich sexy single men training for Iron Mans hang out on a forum for middle aged moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Hmm, as a 40-something woman, I'm not sitting at home watching Netflix and binging ice cream.

It's more like, with the vast majority of men, I have to take charge on everything. I have to suggest meeting up, plan the date, make sure it's something he enjoys, get ready for it, keep the conversation going, etc.

If I'm going to put that much effort into an outing, I'd rather go do something I like. Go take a yoga or a ballet class, go hiking, or check out a museum or something. Which not many men are interested in doing. And I don't really want to waste an entire evening at a restaurant I don't like all that much (WHY do so many men only want to eat bar food??)

When they do initiate and plan dates, it's usually pretty lackluster (and often very last-minute). The last guy who asked me out invited me over for dinner, where he served me a single chicken breast and nothing else, put a Netflix movie on, and then tried to grope me the entire time. Yuck.

When a guy can actually plan ahead, plan an interesting date that I'd enjoy, and not use it as a ploy to get laid, I'll happily go out with him. But bare minimum effort isn't worth my time, when I can be doing the things I actually enjoy.

If men stop dating me because that's "picky", that's fine. We're both happier not wasting each others' time.

If your dates are so lackluster, who's the common denominator? YOU. You're just like the rest of the lazy entitled broads to refuse to lift a finger in dating. You refuse to actually take the initiative and risk to ask a man out and yet you whine about how much effort they put into wooing you. Screw you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently turned 37 last week, and life has been fantastic for me as a heterosexual male. I was fortunate enough to be raised by a tiger mom to do really well in school, learned a lot of lifetime hobbies growing up, and was blessed with good looks from my Caucasian father and Asian mother. I make over 700k/yr in Fintech, and with my work schedule, I spend whatever time I have outside of work on my hobbies, such as music (guitar), sport (swimming and pickleball), photography, and Iron Man training.

I start my workday at 7am, and leave work at 5pm. After work, I go to Lifetime to swim for 60 minutes, play Pickleball at Lifetime with my friends for another 90 minutes, have dinner at 8:30pm, practice music for 45 minutes, and bedtime after that. On the weekend, I do Iron Man training for upcoming Iron Man events. I have a brother who is two years younger than I am, and he was raised exactly the same way I did, and he got married at the age of 29. I have to make an appointment with him anytime we want to get together, and he stopped all of his hobbies, same as mine when we were growing up, after he and his wife had kids.

I dated beautiful women between the ages of 22 and 26, and they all wanted me to be exclusive with them. However, I told them that I want to be FWB because I love my single life. I do want to have kids someday, and I might pay someone to make that happen for me.

Ah, yes, because so many rich sexy single men training for Iron Mans hang out on a forum for middle aged moms.

All sounds great about him. But I missed one key detail - his height, which by the way explains his heritage…. I’ve seen many similar excelling in everything but shorter meh training for Iron Man…

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately if you don't find someone by the time you get through undergrad, or maybe grad or professional school, it's tough. What's left is mostly the leftovers of bithe sexes filled with hangups, baggage, and personality disorders...Or divorced moms and dads trailing multiple crotch goblins.

The answer to pretty much all of you is "It's not them. It's you." Both make and female.

If you want marriage, children, and a family, you have to prioritize those things and find someone who also prioritizes things. If both of you aren't on the same page, it's going to be very difficult.