S/O How do you justify having an affair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The best thing you can do as an AP is go on with your life too and turn HIM into YOUR side piece. That way if he leaves you it’s not like you wasted time.

GROSSSSSSSSSSSSS. These poor betrayed spouses. Yes--lets all bang around so there can be even more risk to the betrayed spouse. Is there any honor among you nasty thieves?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The best thing you can do as an AP is go on with your life too and turn HIM into YOUR side piece. That way if he leaves you it’s not like you wasted time.

Really? That is your advice? How about: cut off all contact and start finding someone you aren't waiting around for. Don't do this to someone else.

That would have been my first piece of advice. JFC.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:ABC cared because their employees and America cared. I mean if you don’t care what others think just keep doing you without trying to justify lying and sneaking around. I mean if you don’t care, why are you hiding in the shadows? Is it because whoever you are banging doesn’t want anyone to see you? Are you that hideous? I mean, why not just tell the guy’s wife? It doesn’t matter right? Or are you afraid to do that because he will dump you and call you a psycho? I guess I don’t understand people that can’t find D that is available.

Its often about the lifestyle and money, as PP noted. My exH AP was his direct subordinate at work, dependent on him with her salary, consulting contracts and so on. It happens more often than you think: married men don't get laid for free

I can assure you they get laid for free.

Then why do so many men pay for sex? Paying to be able to leave, as the comedy joke says?

Yes. They want someone who won’t cause problems or have emotional entanglements. Many men see this as more ethical than an affair.

They're also less likely to get caught. A professional is much more likely to keep her mouth shut and not have any contact with your social or work circle.

Honestly I agree with this perspective. Much better a pro than a love affair.

Agree. But the men that don't want to pay (because it ain't cheap) and don't want spouse to find out--settle for a married woman thinking she has too much to lose to tell. But--that is where it gets messy. They are looking for exit affairs and think it means more, then he has to lie to keep it going--kick the can down the road. Then-they wish they had just paid in the first place as it gets way too complicated to easily get out of. The fear of her getting mad and telling the wife.

No, using a sex worker is insane. You have a MUCH, MUCH higher chance of passing along a serious disease this way.

Wow. When you are being used because someone did the calculation and came to the conclusion that you might be 'safer' than a sex worker, and of course it's free.

Why do you assume someone is always being "used" and "discarded" etc etc? It's a mutually beneficial exchange for those people. Doesn't make it right, but it's downright misogynist to always assume the female AP is being used like a piece of trash.

NP. It's because obviously this woman doesn't actually enjoy sex.

How do you know this?

Because she thinks these women are being "used" for sex because they aren't getting anything in return. Um, hello, they're getting sex!

Aren’t there so many available, single men for sex? Why would a woman enjoy having sex with someone who can’t even go out with her in public ?

Sometimes, if the woman is also married, neither one wants to go out in public.

That I can understand and would think that married people more often cheat with other married people or on business with strangers.

Sure, but 99.9% of the time she thinks he will be the ticket out of her marriage (or very hopeful she can turn him that way) and 99.9% of the time he has zero desire to even think of leaving his family. And when she starts hanging on a long time she wants him to take risks so they will get caught--like meet her in a public place, push for more time, start doing the hang up calls, because if it blows up she figures he will be free and she has a soft landing spot with a new guy supporting her. This is why this 'mutually assured destruction' crap is so ridiculous. They end up destroying two families, he doesn't want her anyway and there are always strings on her side. Always. And then she finds out all the things about 'staying for the kids', not having sex at home (far from it) were all just lies. It was an escape until even it gets boring and too complicated. Then he starts not being able to overlook her mustache or her gut or her passive aggressive personality and she starts seeing he can really be a critical d*ck and has a hard time holding in his contempt for her.

oh yes when it gets old and he can't pretend anymore. then you see what he really thought of you all along.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:ABC cared because their employees and America cared. I mean if you don’t care what others think just keep doing you without trying to justify lying and sneaking around. I mean if you don’t care, why are you hiding in the shadows? Is it because whoever you are banging doesn’t want anyone to see you? Are you that hideous? I mean, why not just tell the guy’s wife? It doesn’t matter right? Or are you afraid to do that because he will dump you and call you a psycho? I guess I don’t understand people that can’t find D that is available.

Its often about the lifestyle and money, as PP noted. My exH AP was his direct subordinate at work, dependent on him with her salary, consulting contracts and so on. It happens more often than you think: married men don't get laid for free

I can assure you they get laid for free.

Then why do so many men pay for sex? Paying to be able to leave, as the comedy joke says?

Yes. They want someone who won’t cause problems or have emotional entanglements. Many men see this as more ethical than an affair.

They're also less likely to get caught. A professional is much more likely to keep her mouth shut and not have any contact with your social or work circle.

Honestly I agree with this perspective. Much better a pro than a love affair.

Agree. But the men that don't want to pay (because it ain't cheap) and don't want spouse to find out--settle for a married woman thinking she has too much to lose to tell. But--that is where it gets messy. They are looking for exit affairs and think it means more, then he has to lie to keep it going--kick the can down the road. Then-they wish they had just paid in the first place as it gets way too complicated to easily get out of. The fear of her getting mad and telling the wife.

No, using a sex worker is insane. You have a MUCH, MUCH higher chance of passing along a serious disease this way.

Wow. When you are being used because someone did the calculation and came to the conclusion that you might be 'safer' than a sex worker, and of course it's free.

Why do you assume someone is always being "used" and "discarded" etc etc? It's a mutually beneficial exchange for those people. Doesn't make it right, but it's downright misogynist to always assume the female AP is being used like a piece of trash.

NP. It's because obviously this woman doesn't actually enjoy sex.

How do you know this?

Because she thinks these women are being "used" for sex because they aren't getting anything in return. Um, hello, they're getting sex!

Aren’t there so many available, single men for sex? Why would a woman enjoy having sex with someone who can’t even go out with her in public ?

Sometimes, if the woman is also married, neither one wants to go out in public.

That I can understand and would think that married people more often cheat with other married people or on business with strangers.

Sure, but 99.9% of the time she thinks he will be the ticket out of her marriage (or very hopeful she can turn him that way) and 99.9% of the time he has zero desire to even think of leaving his family. And when she starts hanging on a long time she wants him to take risks so they will get caught--like meet her in a public place, push for more time, start doing the hang up calls, because if it blows up she figures he will be free and she has a soft landing spot with a new guy supporting her. This is why this 'mutually assured destruction' crap is so ridiculous. They end up destroying two families, he doesn't want her anyway and there are always strings on her side. Always. And then she finds out all the things about 'staying for the kids', not having sex at home (far from it) were all just lies. It was an escape until even it gets boring and too complicated. Then he starts not being able to overlook her mustache or her gut or her passive aggressive personality and she starts seeing he can really be a critical d*ck and has a hard time holding in his contempt for her.

oh yes when it gets old and he can't pretend anymore. then you see what he really thought of you all along.

I’m not sure which is worse, the man who wants to sleep with someone he has contempt for or the woman who degrades herself bc she believes his lies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:ABC cared because their employees and America cared. I mean if you don’t care what others think just keep doing you without trying to justify lying and sneaking around. I mean if you don’t care, why are you hiding in the shadows? Is it because whoever you are banging doesn’t want anyone to see you? Are you that hideous? I mean, why not just tell the guy’s wife? It doesn’t matter right? Or are you afraid to do that because he will dump you and call you a psycho? I guess I don’t understand people that can’t find D that is available.

Its often about the lifestyle and money, as PP noted. My exH AP was his direct subordinate at work, dependent on him with her salary, consulting contracts and so on. It happens more often than you think: married men don't get laid for free

I can assure you they get laid for free.

Then why do so many men pay for sex? Paying to be able to leave, as the comedy joke says?

Yes. They want someone who won’t cause problems or have emotional entanglements. Many men see this as more ethical than an affair.

They're also less likely to get caught. A professional is much more likely to keep her mouth shut and not have any contact with your social or work circle.

Honestly I agree with this perspective. Much better a pro than a love affair.

Agree. But the men that don't want to pay (because it ain't cheap) and don't want spouse to find out--settle for a married woman thinking she has too much to lose to tell. But--that is where it gets messy. They are looking for exit affairs and think it means more, then he has to lie to keep it going--kick the can down the road. Then-they wish they had just paid in the first place as it gets way too complicated to easily get out of. The fear of her getting mad and telling the wife.

No, using a sex worker is insane. You have a MUCH, MUCH higher chance of passing along a serious disease this way.

Wow. When you are being used because someone did the calculation and came to the conclusion that you might be 'safer' than a sex worker, and of course it's free.

Why do you assume someone is always being "used" and "discarded" etc etc? It's a mutually beneficial exchange for those people. Doesn't make it right, but it's downright misogynist to always assume the female AP is being used like a piece of trash.

She HAS to assume that. She was humiliated and will never get over that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:R/theotherwoman is a wild place if anyone wants free entertainment

There's also R/adultery

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:ABC cared because their employees and America cared. I mean if you don’t care what others think just keep doing you without trying to justify lying and sneaking around. I mean if you don’t care, why are you hiding in the shadows? Is it because whoever you are banging doesn’t want anyone to see you? Are you that hideous? I mean, why not just tell the guy’s wife? It doesn’t matter right? Or are you afraid to do that because he will dump you and call you a psycho? I guess I don’t understand people that can’t find D that is available.

Its often about the lifestyle and money, as PP noted. My exH AP was his direct subordinate at work, dependent on him with her salary, consulting contracts and so on. It happens more often than you think: married men don't get laid for free

I can assure you they get laid for free.

Then why do so many men pay for sex? Paying to be able to leave, as the comedy joke says?

Yes. They want someone who won’t cause problems or have emotional entanglements. Many men see this as more ethical than an affair.

They're also less likely to get caught. A professional is much more likely to keep her mouth shut and not have any contact with your social or work circle.

Honestly I agree with this perspective. Much better a pro than a love affair.

Agree. But the men that don't want to pay (because it ain't cheap) and don't want spouse to find out--settle for a married woman thinking she has too much to lose to tell. But--that is where it gets messy. They are looking for exit affairs and think it means more, then he has to lie to keep it going--kick the can down the road. Then-they wish they had just paid in the first place as it gets way too complicated to easily get out of. The fear of her getting mad and telling the wife.

No, using a sex worker is insane. You have a MUCH, MUCH higher chance of passing along a serious disease this way.

Wow. When you are being used because someone did the calculation and came to the conclusion that you might be 'safer' than a sex worker, and of course it's free.

Why do you assume someone is always being "used" and "discarded" etc etc? It's a mutually beneficial exchange for those people. Doesn't make it right, but it's downright misogynist to always assume the female AP is being used like a piece of trash.

She HAS to assume that. She was humiliated and will never get over that.

How is she being humiliated if she knows what she is getting into and the risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ABC cared because their employees and America cared. I mean if you don’t care what others think just keep doing you without trying to justify lying and sneaking around. I mean if you don’t care, why are you hiding in the shadows? Is it because whoever you are banging doesn’t want anyone to see you? Are you that hideous? I mean, why not just tell the guy’s wife? It doesn’t matter right? Or are you afraid to do that because he will dump you and call you a psycho? I guess I don’t understand people that can’t find D that is available.

Its often about the lifestyle and money, as PP noted. My exH AP was his direct subordinate at work, dependent on him with her salary, consulting contracts and so on. It happens more often than you think: married men don't get laid for free

I can assure you they get laid for free.

Then why do so many men pay for sex? Paying to be able to leave, as the comedy joke says?

Yes. They want someone who won’t cause problems or have emotional entanglements. Many men see this as more ethical than an affair.

They're also less likely to get caught. A professional is much more likely to keep her mouth shut and not have any contact with your social or work circle.

Honestly I agree with this perspective. Much better a pro than a love affair.

Agree. But the men that don't want to pay (because it ain't cheap) and don't want spouse to find out--settle for a married woman thinking she has too much to lose to tell. But--that is where it gets messy. They are looking for exit affairs and think it means more, then he has to lie to keep it going--kick the can down the road. Then-they wish they had just paid in the first place as it gets way too complicated to easily get out of. The fear of her getting mad and telling the wife.

No, using a sex worker is insane. You have a MUCH, MUCH higher chance of passing along a serious disease this way.

Wow. When you are being used because someone did the calculation and came to the conclusion that you might be 'safer' than a sex worker, and of course it's free.

Why do you assume someone is always being "used" and "discarded" etc etc? It's a mutually beneficial exchange for those people. Doesn't make it right, but it's downright misogynist to always assume the female AP is being used like a piece of trash.

She HAS to assume that. She was humiliated and will never get over that.

How is she being humiliated if she knows what she is getting into and the risk.

The “she” refers to one of the betrayed wives who had to assume the worst, because she was for sure banging it out 4-7 times a week with her poor, merely temporarily insane and otherwise perfect husband. She is the humiliated party and since every little while she gets mad about it anew but won’t divorce, she lashes out. I mean, these posters insist that affairs typically happen even where a married couple is having sex almost nightly - hey, maybe MOST affairs happen then, right? It must be so hard to be so against the norms. But they are very ragey yet totally serene in the utter perfection of their sacred unions until evil other women chased down like a lion taking down a gazelle their sweet sweet sons I mean husbands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ABC cared because their employees and America cared. I mean if you don’t care what others think just keep doing you without trying to justify lying and sneaking around. I mean if you don’t care, why are you hiding in the shadows? Is it because whoever you are banging doesn’t want anyone to see you? Are you that hideous? I mean, why not just tell the guy’s wife? It doesn’t matter right? Or are you afraid to do that because he will dump you and call you a psycho? I guess I don’t understand people that can’t find D that is available.

Its often about the lifestyle and money, as PP noted. My exH AP was his direct subordinate at work, dependent on him with her salary, consulting contracts and so on. It happens more often than you think: married men don't get laid for free

I can assure you they get laid for free.

Then why do so many men pay for sex? Paying to be able to leave, as the comedy joke says?

Yes. They want someone who won’t cause problems or have emotional entanglements. Many men see this as more ethical than an affair.

They're also less likely to get caught. A professional is much more likely to keep her mouth shut and not have any contact with your social or work circle.

Honestly I agree with this perspective. Much better a pro than a love affair.

Agree. But the men that don't want to pay (because it ain't cheap) and don't want spouse to find out--settle for a married woman thinking she has too much to lose to tell. But--that is where it gets messy. They are looking for exit affairs and think it means more, then he has to lie to keep it going--kick the can down the road. Then-they wish they had just paid in the first place as it gets way too complicated to easily get out of. The fear of her getting mad and telling the wife.

No, using a sex worker is insane. You have a MUCH, MUCH higher chance of passing along a serious disease this way.

Wow. When you are being used because someone did the calculation and came to the conclusion that you might be 'safer' than a sex worker, and of course it's free.

Why do you assume someone is always being "used" and "discarded" etc etc? It's a mutually beneficial exchange for those people. Doesn't make it right, but it's downright misogynist to always assume the female AP is being used like a piece of trash.

She HAS to assume that. She was humiliated and will never get over that.

How is she being humiliated if she knows what she is getting into and the risk.

She’s being used, not humiliated because that would imply she had class and self-awareness. Instead, she glamorizes blowing married guys. 98% of Americans consider her trash and being in an affair wrong- but she owns it man and claims misogyny anytime people suggest that being part of an a affair on either side is wrong.

[Anonymous]

I can’t even imagine my family finding out I was boning a married guy with kids. It wasn’t how I was raised. It would be such a disappointment to find out your child was a cheater or banging someone married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For real. I’m an AP but he is definitely definitely going on with his life and not skipping a beat with weekend plans. I only see him if he has nothing going on and we haven’t had sex in a few weeks.

And that’s okay with you. To basically be a tube sock he gets out when he’s “backed up”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ABC cared because their employees and America cared. I mean if you don’t care what others think just keep doing you without trying to justify lying and sneaking around. I mean if you don’t care, why are you hiding in the shadows? Is it because whoever you are banging doesn’t want anyone to see you? Are you that hideous? I mean, why not just tell the guy’s wife? It doesn’t matter right? Or are you afraid to do that because he will dump you and call you a psycho? I guess I don’t understand people that can’t find D that is available.

Its often about the lifestyle and money, as PP noted. My exH AP was his direct subordinate at work, dependent on him with her salary, consulting contracts and so on. It happens more often than you think: married men don't get laid for free

I can assure you they get laid for free.

Then why do so many men pay for sex? Paying to be able to leave, as the comedy joke says?

Yes. They want someone who won’t cause problems or have emotional entanglements. Many men see this as more ethical than an affair.

They're also less likely to get caught. A professional is much more likely to keep her mouth shut and not have any contact with your social or work circle.

Honestly I agree with this perspective. Much better a pro than a love affair.

Agree. But the men that don't want to pay (because it ain't cheap) and don't want spouse to find out--settle for a married woman thinking she has too much to lose to tell. But--that is where it gets messy. They are looking for exit affairs and think it means more, then he has to lie to keep it going--kick the can down the road. Then-they wish they had just paid in the first place as it gets way too complicated to easily get out of. The fear of her getting mad and telling the wife.

No, using a sex worker is insane. You have a MUCH, MUCH higher chance of passing along a serious disease this way.

Wow. When you are being used because someone did the calculation and came to the conclusion that you might be 'safer' than a sex worker, and of course it's free.

Why do you assume someone is always being "used" and "discarded" etc etc? It's a mutually beneficial exchange for those people. Doesn't make it right, but it's downright misogynist to always assume the female AP is being used like a piece of trash.

She HAS to assume that. She was humiliated and will never get over that.

How is she being humiliated if she knows what she is getting into and the risk.

She’s being used, not humiliated because that would imply she had class and self-awareness. Instead, she glamorizes blowing married guys. 98% of Americans consider her trash and being in an affair wrong- but she owns it man and claims misogyny anytime people suggest that being part of an a affair on either side is wrong.

All women who call some “classy” and others “trashy” are without exception drooling idiots, and are frankly very unlikely to have satisfying relationships with their husbands. It speaks to a grimy and stupid personality, and that kind of person doesn’t tend to be good to be around, let alone to be good in bed or able to roll with life’s challenges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ABC cared because their employees and America cared. I mean if you don’t care what others think just keep doing you without trying to justify lying and sneaking around. I mean if you don’t care, why are you hiding in the shadows? Is it because whoever you are banging doesn’t want anyone to see you? Are you that hideous? I mean, why not just tell the guy’s wife? It doesn’t matter right? Or are you afraid to do that because he will dump you and call you a psycho? I guess I don’t understand people that can’t find D that is available.

Its often about the lifestyle and money, as PP noted. My exH AP was his direct subordinate at work, dependent on him with her salary, consulting contracts and so on. It happens more often than you think: married men don't get laid for free

I can assure you they get laid for free.

Then why do so many men pay for sex? Paying to be able to leave, as the comedy joke says?

Yes. They want someone who won’t cause problems or have emotional entanglements. Many men see this as more ethical than an affair.

They're also less likely to get caught. A professional is much more likely to keep her mouth shut and not have any contact with your social or work circle.

Honestly I agree with this perspective. Much better a pro than a love affair.

Agree. But the men that don't want to pay (because it ain't cheap) and don't want spouse to find out--settle for a married woman thinking she has too much to lose to tell. But--that is where it gets messy. They are looking for exit affairs and think it means more, then he has to lie to keep it going--kick the can down the road. Then-they wish they had just paid in the first place as it gets way too complicated to easily get out of. The fear of her getting mad and telling the wife.

No, using a sex worker is insane. You have a MUCH, MUCH higher chance of passing along a serious disease this way.

Wow. When you are being used because someone did the calculation and came to the conclusion that you might be 'safer' than a sex worker, and of course it's free.

Why do you assume someone is always being "used" and "discarded" etc etc? It's a mutually beneficial exchange for those people. Doesn't make it right, but it's downright misogynist to always assume the female AP is being used like a piece of trash.

She HAS to assume that. She was humiliated and will never get over that.

How is she being humiliated if she knows what she is getting into and the risk.

She’s being used, not humiliated because that would imply she had class and self-awareness. Instead, she glamorizes blowing married guys. 98% of Americans consider her trash and being in an affair wrong- but she owns it man and claims misogyny anytime people suggest that being part of an a affair on either side is wrong.

All women who call some “classy” and others “trashy” are without exception drooling idiots, and are frankly very unlikely to have satisfying relationships with their husbands. It speaks to a grimy and stupid personality, and that kind of person doesn’t tend to be good to be around, let alone to be good in bed or able to roll with life’s challenges.

Queen wrote a song about you, it goes: I like to ride my bicycle ….

[Anonymous]

One woman’s trash is another woman’s treasure. Lol have fun with that gem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t even imagine my family finding out I was boning a married guy with kids. It wasn’t how I was raised. It would be such a disappointment to find out your child was a cheater or banging someone married.

It's really amazing to watch though when the family backs up the cheater. Their child can do no wrong you see. My friend's ex's mom is so excited he found a new love and might have more grandchildren. He already has several children. It's pretty gross.