Discrepancy between you want vs what you can get

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is sad af.

+10000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men want women who are fun and in great shape. We don’t care about your degree.

Not true. The smart successful men want it all. I am attractive (though not blond, lol), thin, educated, had a lucrative career before SAHM and come from a family with good, healthy genes. Subconsciously, my husband probably wanted all of that in the mother of his kids, and frankly so did I.

NP

It's funny that multiple men will tell you the same thing and you don't want to hear it. It's true we don't want someone who's going to really bring down the average, but your education is more of a bonus.

True. This happened to us at 39. Oops baby gave us a little girl. This happens more often into early 40s than people think…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

OP here. After putting myself through college and graduate school and acquiring a fulfilling and interesting policy job, I really do not want to marry some average joe making 100k a year so we can squeeze into a 500k townhouse in Vienna and take yearly vacations to OBX.

I want a SHF in Chevy Chase, private school for my kids and international vacations.

Why NOT me? Only because I am not blonde and skinny?

Its depressing.

OP- you waited too long. Those of us met those guys and married them by 30.

I have a Master’s Degree and work in similar field. I have the life/husband you are looking for. Almost all of my girlfriends do as well and the lady of us married at 33.

I loathe this smug attitude by women who married young. They think it is some grand personal achievement and that it is some symbol that they are special or superior to other women, that they are better at life. You didn’t cure cancer or negotiate world peace, you walked down an aisle. So get over yourselves.

Not PP and I don’t see a hint of smugness. You’re just mad because it’s a hard truth.

But I guess you have me with that last part. I do think I’m better at life. The proof is in the pudding.

Ugh. Really? Gross. No, not “a hint of smugness at all.”

Well I got married young (DH was also mid 20s, not some gross old man) had kids young while launching two successful careers and now we are happy and rich. I’m quite smug. But I’m also not the PP who told you nicely.

It is much easier to marry young and then launch your career, with all the support. The only advantage you had over other women is good looks which attracted the right guy. Many girls like you also marry young and they end up divorced with kids by their 40s.

You are not in any way better, or more positive example! I married myself at 25, divorced at 43. I was thin, tall and modeled part time. It was extremely easy for me to marry a rich guy (much easier than studies and career)

You missed the successful career and still married part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

OP here. After putting myself through college and graduate school and acquiring a fulfilling and interesting policy job, I really do not want to marry some average joe making 100k a year so we can squeeze into a 500k townhouse in Vienna and take yearly vacations to OBX.

I want a SHF in Chevy Chase, private school for my kids and international vacations.

Why NOT me? Only because I am not blonde and skinny?

Its depressing.

OP- you waited too long. Those of us met those guys and married them by 30.

I have a Master’s Degree and work in similar field. I have the life/husband you are looking for. Almost all of my girlfriends do as well and the lady of us married at 33.

I loathe this smug attitude by women who married young. They think it is some grand personal achievement and that it is some symbol that they are special or superior to other women, that they are better at life. You didn’t cure cancer or negotiate world peace, you walked down an aisle. So get over yourselves.

Not PP and I don’t see a hint of smugness. You’re just mad because it’s a hard truth.

But I guess you have me with that last part. I do think I’m better at life. The proof is in the pudding.

Ugh. Really? Gross. No, not “a hint of smugness at all.”

Well I got married young (DH was also mid 20s, not some gross old man) had kids young while launching two successful careers and now we are happy and rich. I’m quite smug. But I’m also not the PP who told you nicely.

It is much easier to marry young and then launch your career, with all the support. The only advantage you had over other women is good looks which attracted the right guy. Many girls like you also marry young and they end up divorced with kids by their 40s.

You are not in any way better, or more positive example! I married myself at 25, divorced at 43. I was thin, tall and modeled part time. It was extremely easy for me to marry a rich guy (much easier than studies and career)

You missed the successful career and still married part.

I do have my career and as to marriage, being married is not an achievement but rather a random occurence

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

OP here. After putting myself through college and graduate school and acquiring a fulfilling and interesting policy job, I really do not want to marry some average joe making 100k a year so we can squeeze into a 500k townhouse in Vienna and take yearly vacations to OBX.

I want a SHF in Chevy Chase, private school for my kids and international vacations.

Why NOT me? Only because I am not blonde and skinny?

Its depressing.

OP- you waited too long. Those of us met those guys and married them by 30.

I have a Master’s Degree and work in similar field. I have the life/husband you are looking for. Almost all of my girlfriends do as well and the lady of us married at 33.

I loathe this smug attitude by women who married young. They think it is some grand personal achievement and that it is some symbol that they are special or superior to other women, that they are better at life. You didn’t cure cancer or negotiate world peace, you walked down an aisle. So get over yourselves.

Not PP and I don’t see a hint of smugness. You’re just mad because it’s a hard truth.

But I guess you have me with that last part. I do think I’m better at life. The proof is in the pudding.

Ugh. Really? Gross. No, not “a hint of smugness at all.”

Well I got married young (DH was also mid 20s, not some gross old man) had kids young while launching two successful careers and now we are happy and rich. I’m quite smug. But I’m also not the PP who told you nicely.

It is much easier to marry young and then launch your career, with all the support. The only advantage you had over other women is good looks which attracted the right guy. Many girls like you also marry young and they end up divorced with kids by their 40s.

You are not in any way better, or more positive example! I married myself at 25, divorced at 43. I was thin, tall and modeled part time. It was extremely easy for me to marry a rich guy (much easier than studies and career)

You are just feeding PP’s gigantic ego by assuming that she is good looking. I’ve seen many examples of young, handsome wealthy guys marrying plainer women than you might expect.

She's probably good looking but also stupid if this is feeding her ego. Beauty attracts all kids of wrong guys /cheaters etc

This. And not every handsome wealthy guy is a Prince Charming. Many are spoiled, selfish, arrogant, cold, and narcissistic and they can never love anyone as much as they love themselves. Stop putting them on pedestals.

This is absolutely true. People with no experience of dating affluent guys don't understand this. They got affluent for a reason, and if it is family money they are even more entitled plus it will be protected by a trust and state laws and will never be yours in life or in divorce.

The other thing is that they tend to marry someone of the same class and there are 1000 little tells that give them that information. If you are not of the same class you had better bring something valuable to the table: either amazing looks, great connections (unclear how you would have them if not through a top degree or successful career), or a really virtuous/good personality that also makes clear you are not a gold digger. These guys have ESP for gold diggers.

she has an interesting policy job - rich dudes love chicks with interesting policy jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grow a thick firm booty. Build it and they’ll come.

Preach! I don't know why these girls are making it hard. I will post you all big booty builder program if necessary. Matter of fact

. Now go earn that worthy husband.

[Anonymous]

You are 10 years too old to be picky. Your degrees and your job don’t mean anything. You are at the end of childbearing age. You should marry anyone with a pulse who doesn’t repulse you at this point if you want to get married and have kids.

I met Dh when he was 23 and I was 24. We were grad students. He was cute, kind and swept me off my feet. We grew up together. He now earns a seven figure income but he served in the military before that. We had 2 kids when he was in the military. We lived in a tiny apt and townhouse. I earned more than Dh when we got married.

You should try marrying for love, not money and status.

[Anonymous]

What do you mean not conventionally beautiful?

We know you are not skinny or blonde.

I’m 44 married with 3 kids and still very fit.

I would up your beauty game. Drop 10 or 20 pounds or whatever it takes to get you in the skinny range. You can start there and dress better, put more effort into your makeup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are 10 years too old to be picky. Your degrees and your job don’t mean anything. You are at the end of childbearing age. You should marry anyone with a pulse who doesn’t repulse you at this point if you want to get married and have kids.

I met Dh when he was 23 and I was 24. We were grad students. He was cute, kind and swept me off my feet. We grew up together. He now earns a seven figure income but he served in the military before that. We had 2 kids when he was in the military. We lived in a tiny apt and townhouse. I earned more than Dh when we got married.

You should try marrying for love, not money and status.

The first part of the comment is mean: so a man who would want kids would be likely repulsive because she's old? She has to marry anyone who's not in love but can basically coexist with her? Why not having a baby on her own, then, to avoid misery?

Your example is nice but in many situations like that men dump old wives, after they start making real money. Read statistics on spousal abandonment in older ages, it's staggering

[Anonymous]

Stopped reading at "SHF"

[Anonymous]

Op, you need to work on your looks and weight. I am 43, and I had a smart lipo done on my butt, waist, belly neck while I was not even fat. I just want to be perfect (no flabby skin, no neck aging sings, perfect waist contours etc). Series of massage with warm wraps, swimming, fast walking helps to achieve perfect body and glowing looks.

It costs money to look good after certain age. I look 30+, not 40+ after my beauty regime. You are in the age when you are competing with attractive divorced women with money; and many of them would be more attractive comparing to you. I date men about same age as mine, 40-early 50s (divorced guys but LTR oriented, some still want kids or never had kids).


You should make this investment in yourself and you'll see the difference! Make sure you have around $20K "budget" for a makeover. You can even become blond (I chose not to).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

OP here. After putting myself through college and graduate school and acquiring a fulfilling and interesting policy job, I really do not want to marry some average joe making 100k a year so we can squeeze into a 500k townhouse in Vienna and take yearly vacations to OBX.

I want a SHF in Chevy Chase, private school for my kids and international vacations.

Why NOT me? Only because I am not blonde and skinny?

Its depressing.

Male here. With a SHF in Chevy Chase. Private school for my kids. You sound dull and materialistic. What do you bring to the table?

x10000000

Woman here. Exactly my thought. NP. I see so many of these shallow women where I live, I would feel bad for them, if they weren't so ......pathetic.

OP, why would someone want to marry you just because you NEED to have an S class before a certain birthday - are those life goals? Listen to yourself. GEESUS, people, get a grip. I knew a group that would go to Dewey every summer, rent a group house, and all they would talk about is marrying a man like that. Marriage is a business transaction to them, like the oldest profession in the world. I read this all the time on these boards, and see it IRL, it makes women look bad.

Oh please. Every single one of these smug married women posting above about how their lives are just like this, wanted exactly these things and found it. OP and her friends are just saying the quiet part out loud. If you don't believe me try taking one of these snotty affluent married women and have them change places with OP (sounds like a great premise for a movie). You will immediately see them completely lose their sh*t.

Wait what? Take a 40 year old woman who has been married for twenty years and put her DH through school, switch places with OP who acts like she is looking at a menu for lunch, for a life partner? How does that even make sense? How does OP pretend to know whose money it is, or what it took for the couple to get where they are?

No matter who OP is, or who OP marries some day (or not - because her attitude sucks), OP will be up against something - the abusive IL's, the DH's drinking/rage/whatever habits - there is always something, and OP may think it sounds "easy" - but if OP can't handle this part - how on earth is she going to handle the rest?

NO I mean all these women saying how shallow and materialistic OP is would die if you took away the lives that OP says he wants for herself. They are not any better than she is, though they think they are.

And this is why I'm so incredibly thankful for the life my grandfather provided for us. The best thing you can do for your daughters is to give them a generous trust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grow a thick firm booty. Build it and they’ll come.

Preach! I don't know why these girls are making it hard. I will post you all big booty builder program if necessary. Matter of fact

. Now go earn that worthy husband.

She has a very large head for her body, and short legs. Looks weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, you need to work on your looks and weight. I am 43, and I had a smart lipo done on my butt, waist, belly neck while I was not even fat. I just want to be perfect (no flabby skin, no neck aging sings, perfect waist contours etc). Series of massage with warm wraps, swimming, fast walking helps to achieve perfect body and glowing looks.

It costs money to look good after certain age. I look 30+, not 40+ after my beauty regime. You are in the age when you are competing with attractive divorced women with money; and many of them would be more attractive comparing to you. I date men about same age as mine, 40-early 50s (divorced guys but LTR oriented, some still want kids or never had kids).


You should make this investment in yourself and you'll see the difference! Make sure you have around $20K "budget" for a makeover. You can even become blond (I chose not to).

The first paragraph of this literally cracked me up, and I thank you sincerely for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

she has an interesting policy job - rich dudes love chicks with interesting policy jobs.

Depends on how they look.