If all your siblings went on vacation without you, would you be hurt?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg you are really committed to being an asshole OP. Inviting the youngest sister is a huge mistake and will undoubtedly hurt feelings. I would be SO sad if I were the sister with younger kids. It’s really not fun being left out.

This is not kindergarten. Put on your big girl panties and realize that having 4 kids under the age of 10 means that some things, like a ski vacation meant for experienced skiers, are not a good fit for your family. I really don’t get everyone’s reactions to this. Everyone is an adult and should be over being hurt like elementary school children. Look in the mirror and realize a 5 month old baby, a 4 year old, and 2 other kids under 10 would cramp everyone else’s ski vacation. It’s not like OP is talking about a toddler centric vacation.

I hate this expression when used to be mean. Just because one is an adult doesn't mean your feelings can't be hurt. Does op want to fracture her family? If so, proceed and invite the other sister and have a grand old time. Remember, op asked if people would be hurt and you would not but, others would be. It has nothing to do with "big girl pants"

This is the crux of it. OP was crowd sourcing to see if they would feel hurt in the exculded sister's shoes. Most people said yes. A few people said no. But none of us know OP's sister, so only the OP is really in the position to know which category she's in.

The fact that OP asked the question in the first place leads me to believe that her sister would, indeed be hurt. But I guess the only way to find out is to have a conversation with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be heartbroken, please don't do this.

Because you’re that sibling that makes everything about you. Through your heartbreak you wouldn’t be able to rationally understand that your brood of 4 kids under 10, which includes an infant and a 4 year old, don’t really fit into a ski vacation geared toward kids who are good skiers and adults? Let me guess you’re also the sibling that uses family vacations as free babysitting for your kids because of course your kids are amazing and who wouldn’t want to spend their vacation babysitting them for you.[/quote

Not pp and I don't have four kids but, if my sisters had a vacation without me and didn't even explain why than yes, I would be hurt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults choose who to invite on vacations. This isnt a family celebration. Adults understand this.

OK Mr. Spock.

Do people really interact with their family this way? How sad.

OP is talking about a one time vacation tailored to a specific activity that this other sister’s kids either can’t do or are not as proficient at as the rest of the group, not how her family handles the run of the mill beach vacation. Get a grip people, everything does not revolve around you.

It's mean to exclude one family member who would want to come, but you deem "not a good fit". Not sure why this is such a hard concept to grasp.

OP should go with the older sister as planned initially. Simple.

Because adults should always get what they want, others be damned? This is OPs ski vacation, not the annual family trip to the beach, and it is objectively reasonable to conclude that the family with a baby, a 4 year old, and 2 other kids under 10 who don’t ski as well as their cousins are not a good fit. Not sure why that concept is so hard to grasp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be heartbroken, please don't do this.

Because you’re that sibling that makes everything about you. Through your heartbreak you wouldn’t be able to rationally understand that your brood of 4 kids under 10, which includes an infant and a 4 year old, don’t really fit into a ski vacation geared toward kids who are good skiers and adults? Let me guess you’re also the sibling that uses family vacations as free babysitting for your kids because of course your kids are amazing and who wouldn’t want to spend their vacation babysitting them for you.[/quote

Not pp and I don't have four kids but, if my sisters had a vacation without me and didn't even explain why than yes, I would be hurt.

I don’t think anyone is saying to not even talk to sister with the 4 kids about it, but that sister with the 4 kids should be able to think rationally about the situation and not make it so the youngest sister can’t be invited just so she doesn’t have her feelings hurt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults choose who to invite on vacations. This isnt a family celebration. Adults understand this.

OK Mr. Spock.

Do people really interact with their family this way? How sad.

OP is talking about a one time vacation tailored to a specific activity that this other sister’s kids either can’t do or are not as proficient at as the rest of the group, not how her family handles the run of the mill beach vacation. Get a grip people, everything does not revolve around you.

It's mean to exclude one family member who would want to come, but you deem "not a good fit". Not sure why this is such a hard concept to grasp.

OP should go with the older sister as planned initially. Simple.

Because adults should always get what they want, others be damned? This is OPs ski vacation, not the annual family trip to the beach, and it is objectively reasonable to conclude that the family with a baby, a 4 year old, and 2 other kids under 10 who don’t ski as well as their cousins are not a good fit. Not sure why that concept is so hard to grasp.

What if they are not a good fit for the family trip to the beach?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults choose who to invite on vacations. This isnt a family celebration. Adults understand this.

OK Mr. Spock.

Do people really interact with their family this way? How sad.

OP is talking about a one time vacation tailored to a specific activity that this other sister’s kids either can’t do or are not as proficient at as the rest of the group, not how her family handles the run of the mill beach vacation. Get a grip people, everything does not revolve around you.

It's mean to exclude one family member who would want to come, but you deem "not a good fit". Not sure why this is such a hard concept to grasp.

OP should go with the older sister as planned initially. Simple.

Because adults should always get what they want, others be damned? This is OPs ski vacation, not the annual family trip to the beach, and it is objectively reasonable to conclude that the family with a baby, a 4 year old, and 2 other kids under 10 who don’t ski as well as their cousins are not a good fit. Not sure why that concept is so hard to grasp.

I guess you could say the same about the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults choose who to invite on vacations. This isnt a family celebration. Adults understand this.

OK Mr. Spock.

Do people really interact with their family this way? How sad.

OP is talking about a one time vacation tailored to a specific activity that this other sister’s kids either can’t do or are not as proficient at as the rest of the group, not how her family handles the run of the mill beach vacation. Get a grip people, everything does not revolve around you.

It's mean to exclude one family member who would want to come, but you deem "not a good fit". Not sure why this is such a hard concept to grasp.

OP should go with the older sister as planned initially. Simple.

Because adults should always get what they want, others be damned? This is OPs ski vacation, not the annual family trip to the beach, and it is objectively reasonable to conclude that the family with a baby, a 4 year old, and 2 other kids under 10 who don’t ski as well as their cousins are not a good fit. Not sure why that concept is so hard to grasp.

I guess you could say the same about the OP.

It’s OPs vacation that she has planned and paid for, so yeah she gets what she wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults choose who to invite on vacations. This isnt a family celebration. Adults understand this.

OK Mr. Spock.

Do people really interact with their family this way? How sad.

OP is talking about a one time vacation tailored to a specific activity that this other sister’s kids either can’t do or are not as proficient at as the rest of the group, not how her family handles the run of the mill beach vacation. Get a grip people, everything does not revolve around you.

It's mean to exclude one family member who would want to come, but you deem "not a good fit". Not sure why this is such a hard concept to grasp.

OP should go with the older sister as planned initially. Simple.

Because adults should always get what they want, others be damned? This is OPs ski vacation, not the annual family trip to the beach, and it is objectively reasonable to conclude that the family with a baby, a 4 year old, and 2 other kids under 10 who don’t ski as well as their cousins are not a good fit. Not sure why that concept is so hard to grasp.

What if they are not a good fit for the family trip to the beach?

You’re really going to these lengths to compare a skiing (a technical sport) trip to a week at the beach?

[Anonymous]

I guess we can tell which posters are the sister who is used to having help from family take care if the kids and which posters are sick of it And want a fun vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults choose who to invite on vacations. This isnt a family celebration. Adults understand this.

OK Mr. Spock.

Do people really interact with their family this way? How sad.

OP is talking about a one time vacation tailored to a specific activity that this other sister’s kids either can’t do or are not as proficient at as the rest of the group, not how her family handles the run of the mill beach vacation. Get a grip people, everything does not revolve around you.

It's mean to exclude one family member who would want to come, but you deem "not a good fit". Not sure why this is such a hard concept to grasp.

OP should go with the older sister as planned initially. Simple.

Because adults should always get what they want, others be damned? This is OPs ski vacation, not the annual family trip to the beach, and it is objectively reasonable to conclude that the family with a baby, a 4 year old, and 2 other kids under 10 who don’t ski as well as their cousins are not a good fit. Not sure why that concept is so hard to grasp.

What if they are not a good fit for the family trip to the beach?

You’re really going to these lengths to compare a skiing (a technical sport) trip to a week at the beach?

But what if they want to go surfing? Or the big kids want to go on the big rides? Or they want to go biking on the boardwalk? You could do this all day.

Regardless it's beside the point because the question is not about "technical sports", it's about excluding one family member.

[Anonymous]

Make it a no-kids vacation and invite all adult siblings.

[Anonymous]

Yes, OP, I would be hurt.

It's one thing to have an all adult trip, it's another to exclude one sibling in particular.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults choose who to invite on vacations. This isnt a family celebration. Adults understand this.

OK Mr. Spock.

Do people really interact with their family this way? How sad.

OP is talking about a one time vacation tailored to a specific activity that this other sister’s kids either can’t do or are not as proficient at as the rest of the group, not how her family handles the run of the mill beach vacation. Get a grip people, everything does not revolve around you.

It's mean to exclude one family member who would want to come, but you deem "not a good fit". Not sure why this is such a hard concept to grasp.

OP should go with the older sister as planned initially. Simple.

Because adults should always get what they want, others be damned? This is OPs ski vacation, not the annual family trip to the beach, and it is objectively reasonable to conclude that the family with a baby, a 4 year old, and 2 other kids under 10 who don’t ski as well as their cousins are not a good fit. Not sure why that concept is so hard to grasp.

What if they are not a good fit for the family trip to the beach?

You’re really going to these lengths to compare a skiing (a technical sport) trip to a week at the beach?

But what if they want to go surfing? Or the big kids want to go on the big rides? Or they want to go biking on the boardwalk? You could do this all day.

Regardless it's beside the point because the question is not about "technical sports", it's about excluding one family member.

Yes because a ski resort where the intended invitees are all skiers is similar to a beach vacation where there are numerous things to do that don’t involve being skilled at a particular sport The question does involve technical sports because the trip was planned for and intended for people who are capable skiers, not a family with a baby, a 4 year old, and 2 other young kids who aren’t old enough/capable enough to ski without another adult. Sister isn’t not being invited because her family dislikes her or wants to avoid her. This whole thread is full of snowflakes that think everything is about them and get hurt by things that aren’t personal attacks.

[Anonymous]

A better example would be snorkeling or scuba diving. Hell no I won't invite a sister with a bunch of small kids but I would want to invite everyone who's able to safely participate and would enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

I'm the oldest but quite a bit and have been excluded by some of my younger siblings for events like live concerts and things. I couldn't care less because I wouldn't enjoy it and I have small kids who definitely would not enjoy it.
I think we all have to realize our station in life and have to accept that every activity that our family does will be a good fit for ours right now.
I think OP would include all sisters if she felt like the one wasn't going to use her as a free babysitter is it appears she has been during this pandemic.
I would never want to feel like I had to babysit my siblings children on a vacation that I have planned and I've been excited to go on.
If you can't manage your children on your own with your spouse and you really should not be upset about not being invited to go on a vacation with others. It is selfish to think that everyone wants to help you take care of your kids while they're on vacation.