If all your siblings went on vacation without you, would you be hurt?

[Anonymous]

Yes, that's mean. I get it, but it's mean. I think it would be less mean to just invite her but refuse to watch the baby or 4 yo.

[Anonymous]

PP here. You mentioned child care. To add, DH's brother had plenty of free help from MIL (which neither would admit to), to top it off. Free sitting during two weeks vacations, while working for DH, you name it. It just compounded matters. Some people are takers.

Don't build a wall between you and your sibling/s. Be the better person. There are plenty of possible solutions.

[Anonymous]

That’s weird that you think you need to disinvite her just to avoid not agreeing to play babysitter.

[Anonymous]

That would be cruel. If you don’t have a problem with that then don’t invite your sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also have 3 sisters. We have done trips with just two of us but we’d never exclude just one sister. That would feel terrible.

I have two sisters.
My kids are a lot younger than theirs. Would not have cared when I was in the thick of young kids if they did something without me.
What is WRONG with everyone here?
There is a time for everything. This is not the time for her to vacation with you.

People make these decisions all the time about friend groups and not wanting to have to deal with young kids.
And people who had young kids should remember-- you don't really WANT to be disrupting things on a vacation.

[Anonymous]

Is she a single mother? You don’t mention husbands.

[Anonymous]

I have three sisters too. Yes, my feelings would be hurt.

[Anonymous]

I would invite them, but say you and the one sister want to get your own house because of the ages of the kids, but she is welcome if she wanuts to rent a place nearby.

Why would your sister expect you to babysit her kids while she goes skiing? I guess she used to do that for your kids before you had kids? And now that her kids are young, you don’t even want her along? Nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also have 3 sisters. We have done trips with just two of us but we’d never exclude just one sister. That would feel terrible.

I have two sisters.
My kids are a lot younger than theirs. Would not have cared when I was in the thick of young kids if they did something without me.
What is WRONG with everyone here?
There is a time for everything. This is not the time for her to vacation with you.

People make these decisions all the time about friend groups and not wanting to have to deal with young kids.
And people who had young kids should remember-- you don't really WANT to be disrupting things on a vacation.

We found our dissenter!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also have 3 sisters. We have done trips with just two of us but we’d never exclude just one sister. That would feel terrible.

I have two sisters.
My kids are a lot younger than theirs. Would not have cared when I was in the thick of young kids if they did something without me.
What is WRONG with everyone here?
There is a time for everything. This is not the time for her to vacation with you.

People make these decisions all the time about friend groups and not wanting to have to deal with young kids.
And people who had young kids should remember-- you don't really WANT to be disrupting things on a vacation.

The dynamics are different with 4 versus 3 sisters.

[Anonymous]

My brothers do a golf trip without me the only sister. I was on the golf team in high school.

Yes it’s rude, because I change the dynamic.

Gmafb

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Invite them. but also make it clear that there is no child care. "hey, we are taking this trip and would love for you to go, but I understand that it might suck with having to be back at the cabin with the baby the whole time"

+1

She can decline, but not being invited would be awful. Or maybe she and her spouse will agree to trade off kid duties during the day and enjoy having dinner with everyone. You can also make some accommodations to be sure they are included without giving up your skiing.

Invite her, even if you hope she says no. And grow a backbone - you're on vacation, and aren't a babysitter. I know it takes a village, but I woudn;'t pass up a day of skiing to provide childcare for someone else. Maybe make that clear to her beforehand.

[Anonymous]

Yes of course I would be hurt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also have 3 sisters. We have done trips with just two of us but we’d never exclude just one sister. That would feel terrible.

I have two sisters.
My kids are a lot younger than theirs. Would not have cared when I was in the thick of young kids if they did something without me.
What is WRONG with everyone here?
There is a time for everything. This is not the time for her to vacation with you.

People make these decisions all the time about friend groups and not wanting to have to deal with young kids.
And people who had young kids should remember-- you don't really WANT to be disrupting things on a vacation.

The dynamics are different with 4 versus 3 sisters.

I agree. My younger sisters sometimes do trips together because they live closer together and don’t have kids. I get it. 3/4 sisters being invited feels more like a family trip with one person excluded.

[Anonymous]

You're a terrible person for even thinking this is ok