DH called our nanny hot

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I talk about other people and we both make comments if we see anyone attractive. So before saying it to anyone else, he'd have said to me that she's hot and I would have agreed. So the only slightly weird part to me is why you are surprised by it.

This is us as well.

When we are at a pool at a resort, is DH not supposed to notice an attractive/hot woman? I’d notice her. Would either of stare, no.

The thing is, none of the people at the resort are employed by you and your husband. That’s what makes this weird. Maybe it’s that I’m not too far from my own babysitting days but the creeper level of one of the dads telling another dad I was good looking? Super gross.

It's actually not weird. It's very common. Sorry.

Common doesn't make something weird or inappropriate. Rape is common, it's still wrong. Racism is common it's still wrong. Why is so hard for you to keep your thoughts to yourself?

Why should I? If my wife learned that I told a friend that our nanny is hot she would not be surprised and would not care. She's a pretty easygoing person and it benefits her and our family in many ways.

Maybe try it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I never said this in my post about considering firing her. That is outrageous.

I'm asking for advice if this is worth bringing up to my DH??

Yes. He needs a filter. Talking about someone other than his wife in a sexual way to others is inappropriate/bad judgment. Sure, he can find her attractive (after all, she is), but calling her “hot” ups the creep factor. That’s just not a way a married man should be talking about his nanny, nor is it the way an employer should be talking about his employee.

Easy with the pearl clutching Karen. Like uou’ve never said to a gf/friend “wow, that guy is hot” or “yummy” or something like that? Never once in your life? Not ever? Didn’t think so.

DP, but actually NO, I have not. Doesn’t mean I have never thought those things, but I love my husband and wouldn’t disrespect him like that. This really isn’t hard, people. Stop being so defensive and accept that if you are married and you are discussing attraction to anyone other than your spouse you are IN THE WRONG. Just don’t do that.

I’m the poster you’re referring to, and no, never once, not ever. I think it’s disrespectful. But that’s my opinion. Should we talk about why, in response to my opinion about a behavior that has absolutely nothing to do with you (unless you are the spouse of the OP), you felt the need to resort to name-calling? You win more arguments with logic than unkindness.

[Anonymous]

Common doesn't make something weird or inappropriate. Rape is common, it's still wrong. Racism is common it's still wrong. Why is so hard for you to keep your thoughts to yourself?

Rape is crime against a person. Racism often results in crimes and injustices against people.

Dude A telling Dude B that Gal A is hot hurts nobody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t bring it up to him. You both know she is pretty. He had enough sense to not make a distasteful comment to you directly about it.

Him telling a male friend the nanny is hot is just talk between friends. If we had a hot pool boy and I mentioned it to a girlfriend I wouldn’t expect my husband to be miffed. I don’t think he would care what so ever.

+1

+2
I had two hot nannies. You sound insecure. He was telling his friend. All I cared is that they were good with my kids.

No. It’s completely disrespectful to both the OP and THE NANNY to talk about her that way. Think whatever you want but keep your thoughts in your head. OP should call him out on it, not because she’s upset that he recognizes the nanny is attractive, but because he is commenting on that attractiveness to anyone other than OP. It’s totally inappropriate.

good lord you have issues

Of course I do... But ain’t one an immature, inconsiderate, disrespectful DH...

You are absolutely sure your husband has never, ever commented to a friend that someone else - a stranger at a baseball game, a mutual friend, and yes, even the nanny - is hot?

Denial, as they say, is not . . . well, you know.

The only completely out of bounds woman to comment on, BTW, is a friend's daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I never said this in my post about considering firing her. That is outrageous.

I'm asking for advice if this is worth bringing up to my DH??

Yes. He needs a filter. Talking about someone other than his wife in a sexual way to others is inappropriate/bad judgment. Sure, he can find her attractive (after all, she is), but calling her “hot” ups the creep factor. That’s just not a way a married man should be talking about his nanny, nor is it the way an employer should be talking about his employee.

Easy with the pearl clutching Karen. Like uou’ve never said to a gf/friend “wow, that guy is hot” or “yummy” or something like that? Never once in your life? Not ever? Didn’t think so.

DP, but actually NO, I have not. Doesn’t mean I have never thought those things, but I love my husband and wouldn’t disrespect him like that. This really isn’t hard, people. Stop being so defensive and accept that if you are married and you are discussing attraction to anyone other than your spouse you are IN THE WRONG. Just don’t do that.

I’m the poster you’re referring to, and no, never once, not ever. I think it’s disrespectful. But that’s my opinion. Should we talk about why, in response to my opinion about a behavior that has absolutely nothing to do with you (unless you are the spouse of the OP), you felt the need to resort to name-calling? You win more arguments with logic than unkindness.

I am the DP and I am just glad there is one other sane person participating in this thread. Is everyone else on here still in high school or college or something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I talk about other people and we both make comments if we see anyone attractive. So before saying it to anyone else, he'd have said to me that she's hot and I would have agreed. So the only slightly weird part to me is why you are surprised by it.

This is us as well.

When we are at a pool at a resort, is DH not supposed to notice an attractive/hot woman? I’d notice her. Would either of stare, no.

The thing is, none of the people at the resort are employed by you and your husband. That’s what makes this weird. Maybe it’s that I’m not too far from my own babysitting days but the creeper level of one of the dads telling another dad I was good looking? Super gross.

It's actually not weird. It's very common. Sorry.

Common doesn't make something weird or inappropriate. Rape is common, it's still wrong. Racism is common it's still wrong. Why is so hard for you to keep your thoughts to yourself?

If you are trying to analogize rape and racism to a guy telling his friend that he has a hot nanny, you have lost the argument. Even if you don't know it yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t bring it up to him. You both know she is pretty. He had enough sense to not make a distasteful comment to you directly about it.

Him telling a male friend the nanny is hot is just talk between friends. If we had a hot pool boy and I mentioned it to a girlfriend I wouldn’t expect my husband to be miffed. I don’t think he would care what so ever.

+1

+2
I had two hot nannies. You sound insecure. He was telling his friend. All I cared is that they were good with my kids.

No. It’s completely disrespectful to both the OP and THE NANNY to talk about her that way. Think whatever you want but keep your thoughts in your head. OP should call him out on it, not because she’s upset that he recognizes the nanny is attractive, but because he is commenting on that attractiveness to anyone other than OP. It’s totally inappropriate.

good lord you have issues

Of course I do... But ain’t one an immature, inconsiderate, disrespectful DH...

You are absolutely sure your husband has never, ever commented to a friend that someone else - a stranger at a baseball game, a mutual friend, and yes, even the nanny - is hot?

Denial, as they say, is not . . . well, you know.

The only completely out of bounds woman to comment on, BTW, is a friend's daughter.

My husband isn’t an immature asshole... sorry you couldn’t do better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I never said this in my post about considering firing her. That is outrageous.

I'm asking for advice if this is worth bringing up to my DH??

Yes. He needs a filter. Talking about someone other than his wife in a sexual way to others is inappropriate/bad judgment. Sure, he can find her attractive (after all, she is), but calling her “hot” ups the creep factor. That’s just not a way a married man should be talking about his nanny, nor is it the way an employer should be talking about his employee.

Easy with the pearl clutching Karen. Like uou’ve never said to a gf/friend “wow, that guy is hot” or “yummy” or something like that? Never once in your life? Not ever? Didn’t think so.

DP, but actually NO, I have not. Doesn’t mean I have never thought those things, but I love my husband and wouldn’t disrespect him like that. This really isn’t hard, people. Stop being so defensive and accept that if you are married and you are discussing attraction to anyone other than your spouse you are IN THE WRONG. Just don’t do that.

I’m the poster you’re referring to, and no, never once, not ever. I think it’s disrespectful. But that’s my opinion. Should we talk about why, in response to my opinion about a behavior that has absolutely nothing to do with you (unless you are the spouse of the OP), you felt the need to resort to name-calling? You win more arguments with logic than unkindness.

I am the DP and I am just glad there is one other sane person participating in this thread. Is everyone else on here still in high school or college or something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Common doesn't make something weird or inappropriate. Rape is common, it's still wrong. Racism is common it's still wrong. Why is so hard for you to keep your thoughts to yourself?

Rape is crime against a person. Racism often results in crimes and injustices against people.

Dude A telling Dude B that Gal A is hot hurts nobody.

The very existence of this thread disproves the bolded statement.... unless the wife is “nobody”...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t bring it up to him. You both know she is pretty. He had enough sense to not make a distasteful comment to you directly about it.

Him telling a male friend the nanny is hot is just talk between friends. If we had a hot pool boy and I mentioned it to a girlfriend I wouldn’t expect my husband to be miffed. I don’t think he would care what so ever.

+1

+2
I had two hot nannies. You sound insecure. He was telling his friend. All I cared is that they were good with my kids.

No. It’s completely disrespectful to both the OP and THE NANNY to talk about her that way. Think whatever you want but keep your thoughts in your head. OP should call him out on it, not because she’s upset that he recognizes the nanny is attractive, but because he is commenting on that attractiveness to anyone other than OP. It’s totally inappropriate.

good lord you have issues

Of course I do... But ain’t one an immature, inconsiderate, disrespectful DH...

You are absolutely sure your husband has never, ever commented to a friend that someone else - a stranger at a baseball game, a mutual friend, and yes, even the nanny - is hot?

Denial, as they say, is not . . . well, you know.

The only completely out of bounds woman to comment on, BTW, is a friend's daughter.

My husband isn’t an immature asshole... sorry you couldn’t do better.

Oh, sure he is. He just knows to conceal it from you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I talk about other people and we both make comments if we see anyone attractive. So before saying it to anyone else, he'd have said to me that she's hot and I would have agreed. So the only slightly weird part to me is why you are surprised by it.

This is us as well.

When we are at a pool at a resort, is DH not supposed to notice an attractive/hot woman? I’d notice her. Would either of stare, no.

The thing is, none of the people at the resort are employed by you and your husband. That’s what makes this weird. Maybe it’s that I’m not too far from my own babysitting days but the creeper level of one of the dads telling another dad I was good looking? Super gross.

The only people who claim its 'super gross' to notice someone is hot are fat ugly people. But, we all knew that.

Oh I don’t think it’s gross to *notice*, or even in the resort example to say something (privately) to your spouse. I think it’s extremely creepy to say something about someone you employ. Not everything someone thinks or notices has to be verbalized.

[Anonymous]

If he's not hitting on the nanny, I don't see the big deal. She is pretty and DH has eyes in his head. So what that he told his friend that she's hot. If your trainer at the gym was hot, would you tell your best friend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t bring it up to him. You both know she is pretty. He had enough sense to not make a distasteful comment to you directly about it.

Him telling a male friend the nanny is hot is just talk between friends. If we had a hot pool boy and I mentioned it to a girlfriend I wouldn’t expect my husband to be miffed. I don’t think he would care what so ever.

+1

+2
I had two hot nannies. You sound insecure. He was telling his friend. All I cared is that they were good with my kids.

No. It’s completely disrespectful to both the OP and THE NANNY to talk about her that way. Think whatever you want but keep your thoughts in your head. OP should call him out on it, not because she’s upset that he recognizes the nanny is attractive, but because he is commenting on that attractiveness to anyone other than OP. It’s totally inappropriate.

good lord you have issues

Of course I do... But ain’t one an immature, inconsiderate, disrespectful DH...

You are absolutely sure your husband has never, ever commented to a friend that someone else - a stranger at a baseball game, a mutual friend, and yes, even the nanny - is hot?

Denial, as they say, is not . . . well, you know.

The only completely out of bounds woman to comment on, BTW, is a friend's daughter.

My husband isn’t an immature asshole... sorry you couldn’t do better.

Oh, sure he is. He just knows to conceal it from you.

Yes, and he manages to do this by, among other things, NOT verbalizing his immature asshole thoughts to friends and neighbors... glad you finally caught up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he's not hitting on the nanny, I don't see the big deal. She is pretty and DH has eyes in his head. So what that he told his friend that she's hot. If your trainer at the gym was hot, would you tell your best friend?

The bad guy in this story is the husband's friend who told his wife thus breaking one of the many man rules. If I told a GF that my trainer at the gym was hot and she told her husband who then told my husband I'd be pissed at my GF.

[Anonymous]

get rid of her. protect your nest.