DH called our nanny hot

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I never said this in my post about considering firing her. That is outrageous.

I'm asking for advice if this is worth bringing up to my DH??

Yes. He needs a filter. Talking about someone other than his wife in a sexual way to others is inappropriate/bad judgment. Sure, he can find her attractive (after all, she is), but calling her “hot” ups the creep factor. That’s just not a way a married man should be talking about his nanny, nor is it the way an employer should be talking about his employee.

Easy with the pearl clutching Karen. Like uou’ve never said to a gf/friend “wow, that guy is hot” or “yummy” or something like that? Never once in your life? Not ever? Didn’t think so.

DP, but actually NO, I have not. Doesn’t mean I have never thought those things, but I love my husband and wouldn’t disrespect him like that. This really isn’t hard, people. Stop being so defensive and accept that if you are married and you are discussing attraction to anyone other than your spouse you are IN THE WRONG. Just don’t do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t bring it up to him. You both know she is pretty. He had enough sense to not make a distasteful comment to you directly about it.

Him telling a male friend the nanny is hot is just talk between friends. If we had a hot pool boy and I mentioned it to a girlfriend I wouldn’t expect my husband to be miffed. I don’t think he would care what so ever.

+1

+2
I had two hot nannies. You sound insecure. He was telling his friend. All I cared is that they were good with my kids.

No. It’s completely disrespectful to both the OP and THE NANNY to talk about her that way. Think whatever you want but keep your thoughts in your head. OP should call him out on it, not because she’s upset that he recognizes the nanny is attractive, but because he is commenting on that attractiveness to anyone other than OP. It’s totally inappropriate.

good lord you have issues

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t bring it up to him. You both know she is pretty. He had enough sense to not make a distasteful comment to you directly about it.

Him telling a male friend the nanny is hot is just talk between friends. If we had a hot pool boy and I mentioned it to a girlfriend I wouldn’t expect my husband to be miffed. I don’t think he would care what so ever.

+1

+2
I had two hot nannies. You sound insecure. He was telling his friend. All I cared is that they were good with my kids.

No. It’s completely disrespectful to both the OP and THE NANNY to talk about her that way. Think whatever you want but keep your thoughts in your head. OP should call him out on it, not because she’s upset that he recognizes the nanny is attractive, but because he is commenting on that attractiveness to anyone other than OP. It’s totally inappropriate.

good lord you have issues

Of course I do... But ain’t one an immature, inconsiderate, disrespectful DH...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are 40 and have two twin boys who are 2. We have a nanny who is honestly fantastic and quite pretty, she's 28.

One of my friends (DH's best friends wife) came over right as the nanny was leaving and briefly said hello to her. Her and I continued to chat and she made a comment "she's as hot as Chris (fake name for DH) described her."

I looked pretty shocked when she said that. She apologized extensively and mentioned my husband Chris has told her husband that we have a really hot nanny. She continued to assure me nothing fishy was up it was just the guys talking.


I feel really hurt. Obviously it's because I'm insecure because she's clearly attractive and 10 years younger than me. Should I bring it up to him?

I think your "friend" is full of crap and trying to cause trouble. Why would she ever say that? Ridiculous

[Anonymous]

DH and I talk about other people and we both make comments if we see anyone attractive. So before saying it to anyone else, he'd have said to me that she's hot and I would have agreed. So the only slightly weird part to me is why you are surprised by it.

[Anonymous]

This is very passive-aggressive of your friend to say that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is very passive-aggressive of your friend to say that.

I agree. The fact your DH said that she is hot is a non-issue. Everyone probably already knows that. I never understood why women get upset when someone says that some (who is attractive) is attractive. It's just a fact...he's not blind and neither are you.

I'd be more concerned about your friend bringing it up. She is either trying to get your DH in trouble or playing on your insecurities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I talk about other people and we both make comments if we see anyone attractive. So before saying it to anyone else, he'd have said to me that she's hot and I would have agreed. So the only slightly weird part to me is why you are surprised by it.

This is us as well.

When we are at a pool at a resort, is DH not supposed to notice an attractive/hot woman? I’d notice her. Would either of stare, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is very passive-aggressive of your friend to say that.

I agree. The fact your DH said that she is hot is a non-issue. Everyone probably already knows that. I never understood why women get upset when someone says that some (who is attractive) is attractive. It's just a fact...he's not blind and neither are you.

I'd be more concerned about your friend bringing it up. She is either trying to get your DH in trouble or playing on your insecurities.

x2. The husband with the big mouth and OP's friend are the problem. Drop both!

[Anonymous]

This thread is mindblowing!!

Every man in the world with a hot nanny tells his friends "my nanny is hot." That is not the same as Trump style boasts of sexual harrasment.

If the standard for hiring a nanny is "someone my husband doesn't want to have sex with and never mentions to his close friends" there would never be a nanny under age 30 who was in decent shape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is mindblowing!!

Every man in the world with a hot nanny tells his friends "my nanny is hot." That is not the same as Trump style boasts of sexual harrasment.

If the standard for hiring a nanny is "someone my husband doesn't want to have sex with and never mentions to his close friends" there would never be a nanny under age 30 who was in decent shape.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I talk about other people and we both make comments if we see anyone attractive. So before saying it to anyone else, he'd have said to me that she's hot and I would have agreed. So the only slightly weird part to me is why you are surprised by it.

This is us as well.

When we are at a pool at a resort, is DH not supposed to notice an attractive/hot woman? I’d notice her. Would either of stare, no.

The thing is, none of the people at the resort are employed by you and your husband. That’s what makes this weird. Maybe it’s that I’m not too far from my own babysitting days but the creeper level of one of the dads telling another dad I was good looking? Super gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I talk about other people and we both make comments if we see anyone attractive. So before saying it to anyone else, he'd have said to me that she's hot and I would have agreed. So the only slightly weird part to me is why you are surprised by it.

This is us as well.

When we are at a pool at a resort, is DH not supposed to notice an attractive/hot woman? I’d notice her. Would either of stare, no.

The thing is, none of the people at the resort are employed by you and your husband. That’s what makes this weird. Maybe it’s that I’m not too far from my own babysitting days but the creeper level of one of the dads telling another dad I was good looking? Super gross.

It's actually not weird. It's very common. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I talk about other people and we both make comments if we see anyone attractive. So before saying it to anyone else, he'd have said to me that she's hot and I would have agreed. So the only slightly weird part to me is why you are surprised by it.

This is us as well.

When we are at a pool at a resort, is DH not supposed to notice an attractive/hot woman? I’d notice her. Would either of stare, no.

The thing is, none of the people at the resort are employed by you and your husband. That’s what makes this weird. Maybe it’s that I’m not too far from my own babysitting days but the creeper level of one of the dads telling another dad I was good looking? Super gross.

It's actually not weird. It's very common. Sorry.

Common doesn't make something weird or inappropriate. Rape is common, it's still wrong. Racism is common it's still wrong. Why is so hard for you to keep your thoughts to yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I talk about other people and we both make comments if we see anyone attractive. So before saying it to anyone else, he'd have said to me that she's hot and I would have agreed. So the only slightly weird part to me is why you are surprised by it.

Yes each other, not your friends, and then it gets back to people you employ.