I was an AP and now I'm a wife, AMA

[Anonymous]

I was a cheated-on spouse. Good luck to you and your husband. It's hard to make sugar out of shit but maybe you two will be the exception.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whey does your father think of you, OP? Guessing you don't have one or are a child of divorce. I ask this because I grew up without a Dad, but my mom worked really hard to make sure I didn't end up on the pole or become someone like you.

We're not on speaking terms. My dad is racist and had disrespected my husband in the worst way.

[Anonymous]

20:58, are relationship is the same as it was when we were dating minus his ex being in the picture. I don't feel any differently about AP's then I did before. Sometimes that's how people find their soulmate. Someone people on this thread have shown proof of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a child of divorce (no cheating, just didn't work out) and the two homes thing was cool. I had two rooms that I got to decorate as I liked, friends at both places and so on. It was not earthshattering or whatever as people here state.

Also, I think it's effed up to gloat that you played a role in breaking up a marriage, but all the outrage and vitriol here is a bit much. It's not your marriage, your kid(s), your life, so dial it down people.

Finally my question to the OP: What has your husband learned from the experience that would make him a better husband to you?

OP wrote this!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:20:58, are relationship is the same as it was when we were dating minus his ex being in the picture. I don't feel any differently about AP's then I did before. Sometimes that's how people find their soulmate. Someone people on this thread have shown proof of that.

Oh, barf, your "soulmate". Barf barf barf you're an imbecile barf barfety barf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a child of divorce (no cheating, just didn't work out) and the two homes thing was cool. I had two rooms that I got to decorate as I liked, friends at both places and so on. It was not earthshattering or whatever as people here state.

Also, I think it's effed up to gloat that you played a role in breaking up a marriage, but all the outrage and vitriol here is a bit much. It's not your marriage, your kid(s), your life, so dial it down people.

Finally my question to the OP: What has your husband learned from the experience that would make him a better husband to you?

OP wrote this!!

Nope. You people have a hard time believing that not everyone is outraged by other people's lives. All the vitriol here is silly to me. I don't know this woman, and don't care enough to call her a whore and all that as others have done here. It's crazy to me. The only people who should be this mad is the ex-wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my inlaws was cheated on after 25 years of marriage. The woman stalked him after her divorce because she was broke. This had been her MO before. We found it out later after researching her. She wanted him, and the house. Horrible woman, he left her and they ended up buying their own house. He was angry because she got the home, half his 401k.

During the ugly divorce he tried to cancel her health insurance. The judge came down hard on him for that. Oddly enough, 7 years later the bimbo died because she didn't get her illness diagnosed much earlier because she didn't have health insurance.

Yes it often comes back around.

[b]

Him... Her... Which her??? What? which her in this situation are you talking about?? I can't keep track. You are terrible at writing.

I got it. You're reading comprehension isn't up to par.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whey does your father think of you, OP? Guessing you don't have one or are a child of divorce. I ask this because I grew up without a Dad, but my mom worked really hard to make sure I didn't end up on the pole or become someone like you.

We're not on speaking terms. My dad is racist and had disrespected my husband in the worst way.

You're no better than your dad though. You talk about respect but you disrespected someone else just as badly, so the apple didn't fall far from the tree. Sounds like you probably grew up in a home filled with issues. I have an aunt who sleeps with married men proudly, with zero shame and she has a boat load of problems. I'm guessing that in real life you're probably a hot mess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whey does your father think of you, OP? Guessing you don't have one or are a child of divorce. I ask this because I grew up without a Dad, but my mom worked really hard to make sure I didn't end up on the pole or become someone like you.

We're not on speaking terms. My dad is racist and had disrespected my husband in the worst way.

You're no better than your dad though. You talk about respect but you disrespected someone else just as badly, so the apple didn't fall far from the tree. Sounds like you probably grew up in a home filled with issues. I have an aunt who sleeps with married men proudly, with zero shame and she has a boat load of problems. I'm guessing that in real life you're probably a hot mess.

The serial cheater that I know had a bad childhood that's she's always tried to avoid thinking about. I think she wants that high of "this person loves me SO MUCH, they are willing to blow up their entire life." So she seeks that high again and again, and because she trained herself at an early age to avoid thinking about the past/hard things, she can never learn from the chaos she creates. It is sad and maddening to watch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whey does your father think of you, OP? Guessing you don't have one or are a child of divorce. I ask this because I grew up without a Dad, but my mom worked really hard to make sure I didn't end up on the pole or become someone like you.

We're not on speaking terms. My dad is racist and had disrespected my husband in the worst way.

You're no better than your dad though. You talk about respect but you disrespected someone else just as badly, so the apple didn't fall far from the tree. Sounds like you probably grew up in a home filled with issues. I have an aunt who sleeps with married men proudly, with zero shame and she has a boat load of problems. I'm guessing that in real life you're probably a hot mess.

You must be white

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whey does your father think of you, OP? Guessing you don't have one or are a child of divorce. I ask this because I grew up without a Dad, but my mom worked really hard to make sure I didn't end up on the pole or become someone like you.

We're not on speaking terms. My dad is racist and had disrespected my husband in the worst way.

You're no better than your dad though. You talk about respect but you disrespected someone else just as badly, so the apple didn't fall far from the tree. Sounds like you probably grew up in a home filled with issues. I have an aunt who sleeps with married men proudly, with zero shame and she has a boat load of problems. I'm guessing that in real life you're probably a hot mess.

+1. Disrespect for other human beings is what has been passed on intergenerationally in OP's family of origin. Now it will be learned by the kids thru OP's example of her behavior. OP is naive if she thinks the kids won't one day learn how their first family was broken up and how the second family was formed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whey does your father think of you, OP? Guessing you don't have one or are a child of divorce. I ask this because I grew up without a Dad, but my mom worked really hard to make sure I didn't end up on the pole or become someone like you.

We're not on speaking terms. My dad is racist and had disrespected my husband in the worst way.

You're no better than your dad though. You talk about respect but you disrespected someone else just as badly, so the apple didn't fall far from the tree. Sounds like you probably grew up in a home filled with issues. I have an aunt who sleeps with married men proudly, with zero shame and she has a boat load of problems. I'm guessing that in real life you're probably a hot mess.

Exactly, here she's calling her dad a racist. She's way worse imo.

[Anonymous]

Yes because an affair is better worse than racism.

Your privilege is showing.

[Anonymous]

*worse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a child of divorce (no cheating, just didn't work out) and the two homes thing was cool. I had two rooms that I got to decorate as I liked, friends at both places and so on. It was not earthshattering or whatever as people here state.

Also, I think it's effed up to gloat that you played a role in breaking up a marriage, but all the outrage and vitriol here is a bit much. It's not your marriage, your kid(s), your life, so dial it down people.

Finally my question to the OP: What has your husband learned from the experience that would make him a better husband to you?

OP wrote this!!

Nope. You people have a hard time believing that not everyone is outraged by other people's lives. All the vitriol here is silly to me. I don't know this woman, and don't care enough to call her a whore and all that as others have done here. It's crazy to me. The only people who should be this mad is the ex-wife.

Please. It's the most obvious example of displacement. They can't be mad at the person who actually wronged them, so they lash out (with extra vitriol because anonymity breeds contempt) at someone who embodies some of the same characteristics as the person who wronged them.

There are also just some people who do not see this as an issue with any nuance. If you cheat on someone or are involved with someone who is cheating on someone, you are a bad person and deserve horrible things for that, full stop.