Did a 180 and decided to redshirt my child- question for parents who decided to do the same
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Anonymous
As opposed to the eighteen-year-old MEN in high school with the 13 & 14 year old girls who started school on time? |
Anonymous
exactly I was thinking the same thing. |
Anonymous
| Here and most places, I cannot remember the specific cut off date. It is and usually is, a student cannot be 19 on Aug 1 or the last day of Sept. for the years they wish to play |
Anonymous
Your son will absolutely not be the youngest and probably in the middle of the class. Being a May birthday the teachers will assume there is a learning issue, even if he does not have a formal ELP. Most redshirt with in 2 months of cut off. Not 4 months plus. If the district age norms AAP testing this mother will be posting about wishing she did NOT redshirt. |
Anonymous
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People will ask about kids' birthdays. You will seem odd if you act like it's a secret.
If someone comments, I'd probably say "yes, he started a year later." If there are further comments, I'd say "we thought it was best." and not elaborate further. However, I agree with others about being confident and owning your decision. Based on your hand-wringing, I wonder if you're not really sure whether this is the right decision or not?? |
Anonymous
Which would effect spring/summer redshirts not at all. Would be punitive for kids held back for academic or other reasons (i.e. an old-fashioned held back by the teacher). |
Anonymous
I'm sure your experience 40 years ago is much more relevant than mine that is happening right now with two elementary school children during the age of widespread redshirting. The kids know how old the others are. Birthday parties are a much bigger deal now, and everyone knows who the older kids are. Glad no one noticed when your parents held you back. I kind of feel sorry for the kids now because everyone knows and seems to discuss it. |
Anonymous
Also, do you never plan on throwing your child a birthday party? One of the central themes of a birthday party is how old the person is. |
Anonymous
Wow, do you have strong feelings on this issue? What month is your kids' birthday? |
Anonymous
My kids have May birthdays which I thought took redshirting off the table. I thought it was more of a late summer, early fall thing, but now spring birthday parents seem to do it. I wouldn't have anyway because my kids are fine and I tend to parent by building up their confidence and never letting on that they might not be able to do something instead of by trying to bend the rules/situation to their needs/indicating to them they are incompetent. They are totally different kids, but both potty trained early, swam early, learned many other skills early/on-time, take risks and rarely doubt themselves. My strong feelings about redshirting are only that it is part of an entire world view/parenting philosophy that I find ineffective as well as morally inferior. Strong enough for you?! |
Anonymous
| At this point people might as well start red shirting January birthdays. The four months between the January kid and May kid are not so vastly far apart that it would make a huge difference socially. |
Anonymous
NP - you sound insufferable. |
Anonymous
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OP here. Wow, I didn't expect this many responses. I was unable to read them all but tried read as many as I could. I obviously cannot reply to every question posed or subject brought up but I will try to address a few...
My post was seeking "been there- done that" from parents who gave their kids the gift the time  My post was not an apology or explanation/reason as to why I am redshirting my child. Numerous posters tried to dissuade me or stated my reasoning was poor, etc.. I did not list my reasons- which are many. If I must, I would say our family is not ready for a 7 hour day yet. I could have found a half-day kindergarten but I am new to all of this. Also, my son is very physical and is a class clown. he enjoys being silly and playing around. My family is in the position where half of the children in the grade below are closer in age to my child than half of the children in his grade. So either way, my son is going to be too young or too old. I do understand this could change, it may have been an anomaly. However I grew up in Hawaii and if we go back there the cutoff is July 31 and redshirting here will be a good move for us. Lastly, yes, my child doesn't want to be the youngest. He just doesn't. If that bothers him, it bothers me. My prek teacher also recs redshirting him.
Please note I shared that I read numerous research articles (even from foreign countries!) and have been looking into this for a year at least. I understand the pros and cons. This post is not about whether to redshirt. I just wanted to hear from others in my position. If for some reason I change my mind the in the future, I would rather push forward than be in the position of repeating a grade or being stuck in a grade we don't want to be in. I fully understand that families who do not redshirt w younger birthdays will have wonderful experiences in school and it is best decision for their child. Obviously, I am likewise making the best decision for my child. Nobody is more invested than I am and of course I did my due diligence and researched this to death. I'll add that a 6 month spread with 2 start dates would be a good way to solve some concerns brought up in this thread. Also, my child will be 6 in kindergarten every single month of kindergarten with the exception of what- a couple weeks? The scare tactic about him being so much older is just false. He will be 4 months older than the oldest non-redshirt. Again, I look forward to him having more time to mature in high school so he can gain in wisdom and self-discipline before heading off on his own. We are a close family and I am in no rush to see him go. Life is very short, I will appreciate more time with him this year and in the future. Those that worry about things like driving, I was driving at 14  Yep, in Hawaii you get your permit much earlier. So, that will be an nonissue. Honestly, none of the objections sounded important to me with the exception of academics. I do worry about that. I am hoping his interest in math will be met through differentiation. If not, Kumon it is. I'm ok with him being 18 all senior year and turning 19 right before graduation. Heck, I graduated at 17 and didn't turn 18 until November of freshmen year. It was never legal for me to drink at all during college! And yes, I got a ticket for it. I'm ok with my son being 19 his freshmen year. It is ok people.
Anyway, my reasons are my reasons and I'm not even sure I typed them all out. Ok, whew- I hope this is enough for you dc umers. lol! Some of you seem so uptight by my post, I feel compelled to calm you down.
Thank you for those who mentioned that bullies can be the youngest. I've seen that as well and I do need to provide my child with other tools in his toolbelt. I agree that being older will not protect him in this manner. This was a helpful feedback. Lastly, thank you for those who basically shared you don't really care if your child's peers are a few months older or younger and you have better things to do than gossip about young kids. Like all of you, I am merely trying to make the right decision for my child. Remember, I tried it both ways- I sent my son as being younger and now we will send him being older. So I understand both perspectives. If things don't turn out well, I will push forward later. Honestly, my son can fit in well in both grades- that's what made the decision a difficult one for us. Btw, he is not tall as some stated. He is just average. He is not gifted as some stated. He is just very sporty and loves math so therefore he excels in it. He can fit in either grade. And I will be proud of my child if he does well in an area, please don't discount potential achievements just bc he is redshirted. That is like saying every Sept-Dec birthday is only excelling bc they are older than the August bday who didn't redshirt. I think if anyone makes a comment like this in real life I will be offended bc why is it ok for him to be a year younger or 10 months younger but so wrong for him to be the older one? Again, he will be closer in age to many of the prek children than he will some of the kindergarten children! I never thought to tell a parent or child their redshirted child or Oct or Nov birthday child was successful in area bc they were older. It's so competitive and petty. Why not just smile and tell the kid they did a great job or that they are smart? That's what I do and it seems the normal thing to say to kids when they are proud of themselves for some reason. I only come on this board 3 or 4 times a year. So I likely won't check back until then. take it easy moms ! |
Anonymous
| Forgot to add that by redshirting him, it will actually allow him to play on the same grade level in some sports, such as baseball. For soccer the cutoff is 31 July so most children will be up to 10 months older than him. Not sure if travel teams here make exceptions to play up or down. I know in another state at least one soccer club allows this if you put your request in writing. Either way, I don't care if he's not in the same grade on a particular sport team. It's already happening now but he's the one in the younger grade. |
Anonymous
| Wow. Just wow. |