DH Bought a Gun

[Anonymous]

Troll thread.

There is no husband. There is no gun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of these replies are, “tell me you’re an urban, liberal elite without telling me you’re an urban liberal elite.”

You never read about toddlers of urban liberal elite non gun-owners accidentally shooting their sibling with a gun they found in their mom’s purse. So not the own you think this is.

And you can talk all you want about gun safety but people make mistakes. I knew a guy who dated a friend of mine; he was an NRA member and liked to mock her urban liberal elite friends and he died when he accidentally shot himself cleaning his gun. She married another guy a few years later and had kids and has been living her best life and he was dead at 24. But at least he owned us libs.

+1
I feel fine with my choices of avoiding guns in my home. If someone wants to mock me (as many pps seem to enjoy) I really don’t care. I know that these sorts of “accidents” will just simply not happen here, and I’m comforted by that thought.

I really am struggling to understand the rabid gun-loving view that you’d put a weapon above the wants and feelings of your partner. Even if people have different views on it, as op and her dh seem to, part of being married is compromising and discussing things as a family. Unilaterally choosing to alter your home life so drastically without discussion is just immature and unreasonable.

This overly-dramatic response is so pathetic. OP didn't have a conversation about her feelings upfront, despite her husband being honest and clear that he was taking up shooting as a hobby. Buying a gun isn't an "out of the blue" move at this point, and characterizing same as "unilaterally choosing to alter your home life so drastically" is fscking ridiculous. It's an inanimate object that is currently in a gun safe. Have the conversation you should've already had about it and quit being a hypersensitive tw@.

I don’t really care what you think of me. Resorting to name calling because I don’t consider “hey I bought this” as communication says more about you. I don’t believe in bulldozing a partner in a marriage. Maybe you do. Maybe that’s why yours hasn’t worked out (or ever materialized). It’s a dangerous item, and is yes, unilaterally changing their home environment.

Why do you keep saying OP needed to speak up? But her husband taking multiple steps and NOT communicating until after is totes fine? Bizarre double standard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of these replies are, “tell me you’re an urban, liberal elite without telling me you’re an urban liberal elite.”

You never read about toddlers of urban liberal elite non gun-owners accidentally shooting their sibling with a gun they found in their mom’s purse. So not the own you think this is.

And you can talk all you want about gun safety but people make mistakes. I knew a guy who dated a friend of mine; he was an NRA member and liked to mock her urban liberal elite friends and he died when he accidentally shot himself cleaning his gun. She married another guy a few years later and had kids and has been living her best life and he was dead at 24. But at least he owned us libs.

+1
I feel fine with my choices of avoiding guns in my home. If someone wants to mock me (as many pps seem to enjoy) I really don’t care. I know that these sorts of “accidents” will just simply not happen here, and I’m comforted by that thought.

I really am struggling to understand the rabid gun-loving view that you’d put a weapon above the wants and feelings of your partner. Even if people have different views on it, as op and her dh seem to, part of being married is compromising and discussing things as a family. Unilaterally choosing to alter your home life so drastically without discussion is just immature and unreasonable.

This overly-dramatic response is so pathetic. OP didn't have a conversation about her feelings upfront, despite her husband being honest and clear that he was taking up shooting as a hobby. Buying a gun isn't an "out of the blue" move at this point, and characterizing same as "unilaterally choosing to alter your home life so drastically" is fscking ridiculous. It's an inanimate object that is currently in a gun safe. Have the conversation you should've already had about it and quit being a hypersensitive tw@.

I don’t really care what you think of me. Resorting to name calling because I don’t consider “hey I bought this” as communication says more about you. I don’t believe in bulldozing a partner in a marriage. Maybe you do. Maybe that’s why yours hasn’t worked out (or ever materialized). It’s a dangerous item, and is yes, unilaterally changing their home environment.

Why do you keep saying OP needed to speak up? But her husband taking multiple steps and NOT communicating until after is totes fine? Bizarre double standard.

You've assumed so much...

If it matters to you, it's your responsibility to say something. It's nobody else's job to read your mind and live according to your unspoken expectations. Why is that so hard for you to understand. People living their lives without asking your permission first isn't "bulldozing", and it's incredibly controlling to think other people need your approval before making adult decisions. That's not partnership. "Hey, here's some information" is literally all that communication is, so you may need to reconsider your definitions (amongst other things).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Troll thread.

There is no husband. There is no gun.

+1 Sure are a lot of twisted knickers tho...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of these replies are, “tell me you’re an urban, liberal elite without telling me you’re an urban liberal elite.”

You never read about toddlers of urban liberal elite non gun-owners accidentally shooting their sibling with a gun they found in their mom’s purse. So not the own you think this is.

And you can talk all you want about gun safety but people make mistakes. I knew a guy who dated a friend of mine; he was an NRA member and liked to mock her urban liberal elite friends and he died when he accidentally shot himself cleaning his gun. She married another guy a few years later and had kids and has been living her best life and he was dead at 24. But at least he owned us libs.

+1
I feel fine with my choices of avoiding guns in my home. If someone wants to mock me (as many pps seem to enjoy) I really don’t care. I know that these sorts of “accidents” will just simply not happen here, and I’m comforted by that thought.

I really am struggling to understand the rabid gun-loving view that you’d put a weapon above the wants and feelings of your partner. Even if people have different views on it, as op and her dh seem to, part of being married is compromising and discussing things as a family. Unilaterally choosing to alter your home life so drastically without discussion is just immature and unreasonable.

This overly-dramatic response is so pathetic. OP didn't have a conversation about her feelings upfront, despite her husband being honest and clear that he was taking up shooting as a hobby. Buying a gun isn't an "out of the blue" move at this point, and characterizing same as "unilaterally choosing to alter your home life so drastically" is fscking ridiculous. It's an inanimate object that is currently in a gun safe. Have the conversation you should've already had about it and quit being a hypersensitive tw@.

I don’t really care what you think of me. Resorting to name calling because I don’t consider “hey I bought this” as communication says more about you. I don’t believe in bulldozing a partner in a marriage. Maybe you do. Maybe that’s why yours hasn’t worked out (or ever materialized). It’s a dangerous item, and is yes, unilaterally changing their home environment.

Why do you keep saying OP needed to speak up? But her husband taking multiple steps and NOT communicating until after is totes fine? Bizarre double standard.

You've assumed so much...

If it matters to you, it's your responsibility to say something. It's nobody else's job to read your mind and live according to your unspoken expectations. Why is that so hard for you to understand. People living their lives without asking your permission first isn't "bulldozing", and it's incredibly controlling to think other people need your approval before making adult decisions. That's not partnership. "Hey, here's some information" is literally all that communication is, so you may need to reconsider your definitions (amongst other things).

100%! It was DHs responsibility to say he wanted to buy a gun and open the conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of these replies are, “tell me you’re an urban, liberal elite without telling me you’re an urban liberal elite.”

You never read about toddlers of urban liberal elite non gun-owners accidentally shooting their sibling with a gun they found in their mom’s purse.

Rich people have the money to keep things out of the news more often, or else have hired armed guards.

That is "Privilege" you are referring to PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The gun lives at t the range. Woman here and don’t mind guns, they live at the range where they are used and handled properly. If he won’t do that, teach your kids gun safety and consider divorce. Then mandate and decide how hard to fight if he prioritizes the gun over his family. Husband has considered a gun bc I was attacked and I say no even with that. Parents have guns and fine w gone safety protocols including acceptable mental health protocols

What range do you patronize that provides ongoing firearm storage service?

Only a gun club would provide that service. But you are paying a lot more than the gun he bought to be a member.

Owning a gun safely is not that hard - there are things called safes you bolt into your floor, wall or both that are nearly impossible to break into…and the people that could break into it aren’t wasting their time for a $600 Glock.
No kid is getting, that is for sure.

And yet, thousands (tens?!) of children do in fact get in there each year. You are wrong for claiming 100% success when there are so so so many gun deaths per years.

Sigh. NP. The kids who get ahold of guns aren't going through multiple safes, fingerprint triggers, etc. They're accessing guns that are carelessly stored. That was PP's point.

Agreed. Some of these people aren't thinking logically, and this thread has become a bit of a joke.

So how are thousands of kids killed every year from guns if everyone is super duper responsible? Clearly there’s a disconnect that you refuse to acknowledge.

There aren't thousands killed. That's ridiculous and you lose all credibility when you exaggerate things like that to that excess.

20,000 per year on average kill themselves with a firearm. Suicide is not "gun violence" by any means. So those are dismissed.

10,000 per year are killed by someone with a firearm, with around 9000 of those are inner city gang members or criminals that are shot either by citizens or police.

Suicide can't be dismissed. It's probably the best reason not to bring a gun into a house with a child, who is going to become a teenager, who may quickly develop mental illness and try to kill themselves. If you look at the rates of suicide by state, they mostly differ because of access to firearms.

Most all suicides by firearm are males over 25. Very few minors commit suicide that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of these replies are, “tell me you’re an urban, liberal elite without telling me you’re an urban liberal elite.”

You never read about toddlers of urban liberal elite non gun-owners accidentally shooting their sibling with a gun they found in their mom’s purse. So not the own you think this is.

And you can talk all you want about gun safety but people make mistakes. I knew a guy who dated a friend of mine; he was an NRA member and liked to mock her urban liberal elite friends and he died when he accidentally shot himself cleaning his gun. She married another guy a few years later and had kids and has been living her best life and he was dead at 24. But at least he owned us libs.

+1
I feel fine with my choices of avoiding guns in my home. If someone wants to mock me (as many pps seem to enjoy) I really don’t care. I know that these sorts of “accidents” will just simply not happen here, and I’m comforted by that thought.

I really am struggling to understand the rabid gun-loving view that you’d put a weapon above the wants and feelings of your partner. Even if people have different views on it, as op and her dh seem to, part of being married is compromising and discussing things as a family. Unilaterally choosing to alter your home life so drastically without discussion is just immature and unreasonable.

This overly-dramatic response is so pathetic. OP didn't have a conversation about her feelings upfront, despite her husband being honest and clear that he was taking up shooting as a hobby. Buying a gun isn't an "out of the blue" move at this point, and characterizing same as "unilaterally choosing to alter your home life so drastically" is fscking ridiculous. It's an inanimate object that is currently in a gun safe. Have the conversation you should've already had about it and quit being a hypersensitive tw@.

I don’t really care what you think of me. Resorting to name calling because I don’t consider “hey I bought this” as communication says more about you. I don’t believe in bulldozing a partner in a marriage. Maybe you do. Maybe that’s why yours hasn’t worked out (or ever materialized). It’s a dangerous item, and is yes, unilaterally changing their home environment.

Why do you keep saying OP needed to speak up? But her husband taking multiple steps and NOT communicating until after is totes fine? Bizarre double standard.

You've assumed so much...

If it matters to you, it's your responsibility to say something. It's nobody else's job to read your mind and live according to your unspoken expectations. Why is that so hard for you to understand. People living their lives without asking your permission first isn't "bulldozing", and it's incredibly controlling to think other people need your approval before making adult decisions. That's not partnership. "Hey, here's some information" is literally all that communication is, so you may need to reconsider your definitions (amongst other things).

100%! It was DHs responsibility to say he wanted to buy a gun and open the conversation.

Incorrect. DH is an adult. Since he was responsible enough to bring the gun home with a safe, I'm content to assume he bought the gun legally. Who does he need to have a conversation about this with? His mama?

What you're position assumes is that DH is obligated to get his wife's permission before doing things he's otherwise legally qualified to do. That's extremely controlling as a default. Maybe, if they had some kind of agreement, sure. But in order to reach that agreement, there'd need to be a conversation.

OP obviously didn't have the "hey, it's fine with me if you go shooting, but if/when you want to bring a gun home, we need to talk first" chat, or she wouldn't be posting here. Saying it's somehow her DH's responsibility to secure her permission to do things he could do just fine without her is infantilizing and controlling AF.

Note that it's almost entirely the women/femmes in this thread who agree with this controlling nonsense (though, not all of us)

-also a woman

[Anonymous]

OP here.

Not a troll, just a normal DC suburban mom.

DH has promised to lock it up, clean it when the kids aren’t home, and safely transport to and from the range so it is what it is. I don’t love it, but it’s his hobby and he’s responsible.

No, I don’t plan on sharing that there is a gun in our home because it is locked and no one has access to it except DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Not a troll, just a normal DC suburban mom.

DH has promised to lock it up, clean it when the kids aren’t home, and safely transport to and from the range so it is what it is. I don’t love it, but it’s his hobby and he’s responsible.

No, I don’t plan on sharing that there is a gun in our home because it is locked and no one has access to it except DH.

Why? Afraid of the fumes being harmful or something?

[Anonymous]

OP - I just don’t want it out around our kids. He agreed.

[Anonymous]

I would never live in a house with a gun. I would be livid. For me, it would be me or the gun.

[Anonymous]

On one hand the lack of communication on the husband’s part is really weird. It’s weird not just because it’s a gun but because it’s a major purchase that could be $1k or more. Usually my DH and I talk about things - which is a crazy idea nowadays I know.

On the other hand, if it is in a good biometric safe attached to a wall, etc. then the wife would be irrational if she were still scared or obsessed-angry about it. The term is “hoplophobia” and it is a real thing with some people.

Shooting safely is a fun and popular hobby. Too bad the husband didn’t make this a joint decision and a joint hobby by taking some training classes together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Troll thread.

There is no husband. There is no gun.

+1 Sure are a lot of twisted knickers tho...

Indeed. Infighting between anti-gun nutters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The gun lives at t the range. Woman here and don’t mind guns, they live at the range where they are used and handled properly. If he won’t do that, teach your kids gun safety and consider divorce. Then mandate and decide how hard to fight if he prioritizes the gun over his family. Husband has considered a gun bc I was attacked and I say no even with that. Parents have guns and fine w gone safety protocols including acceptable mental health protocols

What range do you patronize that provides ongoing firearm storage service?

Only a gun club would provide that service. But you are paying a lot more than the gun he bought to be a member.

Owning a gun safely is not that hard - there are things called safes you bolt into your floor, wall or both that are nearly impossible to break into…and the people that could break into it aren’t wasting their time for a $600 Glock.
No kid is getting, that is for sure.

And yet, thousands (tens?!) of children do in fact get in there each year. You are wrong for claiming 100% success when there are so so so many gun deaths per years.

Sigh. NP. The kids who get ahold of guns aren't going through multiple safes, fingerprint triggers, etc. They're accessing guns that are carelessly stored. That was PP's point.

Agreed. Some of these people aren't thinking logically, and this thread has become a bit of a joke.

So how are thousands of kids killed every year from guns if everyone is super duper responsible? Clearly there’s a disconnect that you refuse to acknowledge.

There aren't thousands killed. That's ridiculous and you lose all credibility when you exaggerate things like that to that excess.

20,000 per year on average kill themselves with a firearm. Suicide is not "gun violence" by any means. So those are dismissed.

10,000 per year are killed by someone with a firearm, with around 9000 of those are inner city gang members or criminals that are shot either by citizens or police.

Suicide can't be dismissed. It's probably the best reason not to bring a gun into a house with a child, who is going to become a teenager, who may quickly develop mental illness and try to kill themselves. If you look at the rates of suicide by state, they mostly differ because of access to firearms.

Most all suicides by firearm are males over 25. Very few minors commit suicide that way.

False
“The firearm suicide rate among young people has increased faster than among any other age group.”
Firearm suicides are the #4 leading cause of death in children