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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So many of these replies are, “tell me you’re an urban, liberal elite without telling me you’re an urban liberal elite.”[/quote]

[b]You never read about toddlers of urban liberal elite non gun-owners accidentally shooting their sibling with a gun they found in their mom’s purse. So not the own you think this is. [/b]

And you can talk all you want about gun safety but people make mistakes. I knew a guy who dated a friend of mine; he was an NRA member and liked to mock her urban liberal elite friends and he died when he accidentally shot himself cleaning his gun. She married another guy a few years later and had kids and has been living her best life and he was dead at 24. But at least he owned us libs. [/quote]
+1
I feel fine with my choices of avoiding guns in my home. If someone wants to mock me (as many pps seem to enjoy) I really don’t care. I know that these sorts of “accidents” will just simply not happen here, and I’m comforted by that thought.

I really am struggling to understand the rabid gun-loving view that you’d put a weapon above the wants and feelings of your partner. Even if people have different views on it, as op and her dh seem to, part of being married is compromising and discussing things as a family. Unilaterally choosing to alter your home life so drastically without discussion is just immature and unreasonable.[/quote]

This overly-dramatic response is so pathetic. OP didn't have a conversation about her feelings upfront, despite her husband being honest and clear that he was taking up shooting as a hobby. Buying a gun isn't an "out of the blue" move at this point, and characterizing same as "unilaterally choosing to alter your home life so drastically" is fscking ridiculous. It's an inanimate object that is currently in a gun safe. Have the conversation you should've already had about it and quit being a hypersensitive tw@. [/quote]
I don’t really care what you think of me. Resorting to name calling because I don’t consider “hey I bought this” as communication says more about you. I don’t believe in bulldozing a partner in a marriage. Maybe you do. Maybe that’s why yours hasn’t worked out (or ever materialized). It’s a dangerous item, and is yes, unilaterally changing their home environment.

Why do you keep saying OP needed to speak up? But her husband taking multiple steps and NOT communicating until after is totes fine? Bizarre double standard.[/quote]

You've assumed so much...

[b]If it matters to you, it's your responsibility to say something. It's nobody else's job to read your mind and live according to your unspoken expectations.[/b] Why is that so hard for you to understand. People living their lives without asking your permission first isn't "bulldozing", and it's incredibly controlling to think other people need your approval before making adult decisions. That's not partnership. "Hey, here's some information" is literally all that communication is, so you may need to reconsider your definitions (amongst other things).

[/quote]
100%! It was DHs responsibility to say he wanted to buy a gun and open the conversation. [/quote]

Incorrect. DH is an adult. Since he was responsible enough to bring the gun home with a safe, I'm content to assume he bought the gun legally. Who does he need to have a conversation about this with? His mama?

What you're position assumes is that DH is obligated to get his wife's permission before doing things he's otherwise legally qualified to do. That's extremely controlling as a default. Maybe, if they had some kind of agreement, sure. But in order to reach that agreement, there'd need to be a conversation.

OP obviously didn't have the "hey, it's fine with me if you go shooting, but if/when you want to bring a gun home, we need to talk first" chat, or she wouldn't be posting here. Saying it's somehow her DH's responsibility to secure her permission to do things he could do just fine without her is infantilizing and controlling AF.

Note that it's almost entirely the women/femmes in this thread who agree with this controlling nonsense (though, not all of us)

-also a woman[/quote]

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