DH Bought a Gun

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is horrible and downright dangerous. I was in this situation, but I said “either you live with your gun or you live with your wife/kids.”
His family member stored the gun for him. That marriage ended in divorce within a few years.
This should have been discussed with you. Please protect your children. ASAP.

Having a safely secured gun in the house is "horrible and downright dangerous"?! Um, okay, lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Niether of you is necessarily unreasonable in your opinions, but the lack of discussion - given how far apart you are on the topic - is alarming.

He is unreasonable to think that he gets to keep a gun in the house. if he’s a hobbyist there are no doubt gun ranges where he can store it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are being unreasonable. He’s already said he would lock it up. Many things can harm children in the house. Do you discuss anything that can harm children before you bring them in the house? Should he discuss purchasing a power drill? Should you discuss buying a curling iron in advance?

You’re really comparing a gin to a power drill or curling iron?

For some people, like my in-laws, it's normal to have them around. That doesn't make it less weird for affluent, educated people who grew up in gun-free homes. But it is normal for some.

[Anonymous]

So many of these replies are, “tell me you’re an urban, liberal elite without telling me you’re an urban liberal elite.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many of these replies are, “tell me you’re an urban, liberal elite without telling me you’re an urban liberal elite.”

Elite lol. I don't have the money to shoot as a hobby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Niether of you is necessarily unreasonable in your opinions, but the lack of discussion - given how far apart you are on the topic - is alarming.

He is unreasonable to think that he gets to keep a gun in the house. if he’s a hobbyist there are no doubt gun ranges where he can store it.

Not a commonly available service in the U.S.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take this as an opportunity to impart proper firearm safety with your children. These are not toys and need to be afforded proper respect. Firearms a taboo subject on our area. As parents we are responsible for preparing our children for things they encounter in life. Better they know and respect than encounter them and not know what to do.
ALWAYS treat a firearm as it is loaded,
ALWAYS keep a firearm pointed in a safe direction
NEVER point a firearm unless you intend to use it
BTW,I am a card carrying member of the NRA but do not have any firearms.

You left out “keep your finger off the trigger until you’re ready to fire” and “be sure of your target and what’s beyond it.”

[Anonymous]

A lethal weapon that's not a normal household item like a kitchen knife or garden shears is DEFINITELY something to discuss with your spouse before purchasing.

He owes you an apology for not consulting with you.

Now what you do is monitor the way he safeguards the weapon and ammo. He needs a safe, of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take this as an opportunity to impart proper firearm safety with your children. These are not toys and need to be afforded proper respect. Firearms a taboo subject on our area. As parents we are responsible for preparing our children for things they encounter in life. Better they know and respect than encounter them and not know what to do.
ALWAYS treat a firearm as it is loaded,
ALWAYS keep a firearm pointed in a safe direction
NEVER point a firearm unless you intend to use it
BTW,I am a card carrying member of the NRA but do not have any firearms.

You left out “keep your finger off the trigger until you’re ready to fire” and “be sure of your target and what’s beyond it.”

Adding:

What children (and many adults) need to know is:

If you see a gun:

1. STOP!

2. Don’t touch!

3. Leave the area.

4. Tell an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Niether of you is necessarily unreasonable in your opinions, but the lack of discussion - given how far apart you are on the topic - is alarming.

He is unreasonable to think that he gets to keep a gun in the house. if he’s a hobbyist there are no doubt gun ranges where he can store it.

Not a commonly available service in the U.S.

If you're in the DC area, there's a Gunsitters in Gaithersburg that will store them for you: https://www.gunsitters.com/, but yeah it's not common. There's too much liability with storing guns that might get stolen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are being unreasonable. He’s already said he would lock it up. Many things can harm children in the house. Do you discuss anything that can harm children before you bring them in the house? Should he discuss purchasing a power drill? Should you discuss buying a curling iron in advance?

You’re really comparing a gin to a power drill or curling iron?

For some people, like my in-laws, it's normal to have them around. That doesn't make it less weird for affluent, educated people who grew up in gun-free homes. But it is normal for some.

I mean, my cousin married into a gun family, her husband had guns, he was dumb enough to keep it in the shoebox, their preschooler got it, it went off and killed their toddler. Just because it's normal doesn't make it safe. Kids accidentally get into guns all the time.

And promising to lock it up isn't thr same as actually locking up. OP hasn't clarified if husband actually came home with a gun safe and locks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's taken up shooting as a hobby in the past few months and recently decided to purchase a gun. He came home with it without discussion. We have elementary age kids, and I just don't want it in the house. He doesn't care, says it's for his hobby and he'll keep it locked up. Am I unreasonable? Is he?

He seems reasonable. I am not sure why you are upset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Dad was both in the military and a physician. He'd both had extensive firearms training and treated bullet wounds, including those in children. He was extremely firm on proper gun safety. You do not leave it assembled. You do not leave it loaded. You do not leave it unlocked. You lock ammunition separately from the gun with separate codes, so it a kid cracks one, they don't Crack another.

Your husband is an idiot. An unloaded gun that's disassembled and stored in separate safes with ammo in separate safes is useless. And it's unnecessary to go that far for the purpose of supposed "safety".

Fun fact: kids can be taught gun safety at an extremely early age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He should have discussed it with you but it's fine to have a gun. Insist that he keeps it locked up, though.

Who are you to tell OP it's fine that there's a gun? OP obviously does not agree.

It's not exactly something two people can compromise on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's taken up shooting as a hobby in the past few months and recently decided to purchase a gun. He came home with it without discussion. We have elementary age kids, and I just don't want it in the house. He doesn't care, says it's for his hobby and he'll keep it locked up. Am I unreasonable? Is he?

He seems reasonable. I am not sure why you are upset.

NP here but "came home without discussion" is what would bother me.