DH Bought a Gun

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Dad was both in the military and a physician. He'd both had extensive firearms training and treated bullet wounds, including those in children. He was extremely firm on proper gun safety. You do not leave it assembled. You do not leave it loaded. You do not leave it unlocked. You lock ammunition separately from the gun with separate codes, so it a kid cracks one, they don't Crack another.

Your husband is an idiot. An unloaded gun that's disassembled and stored in separate safes with ammo in separate safes is useless. And it's unnecessary to go that far for the purpose of supposed "safety".

Fun fact: kids can be taught gun safety at an extremely early age.

He's a hobby shooter. And keeping a loaded easily accessible gun because you're paranoid about intruders is 100% how you end up shooting your kid or your kid shoots themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many of these replies are, “tell me you’re an urban, liberal elite without telling me you’re an urban liberal elite.”

If being a liberal elite means I don't hunt, live somewhere safe, and don't need a gun, then guilty. I have relatives and friends who have different situations. Most who have guns are slightly paranoid, but they are responsible and "ready".

I have a friend with a "tactical bookcase" that she bought at an NRA convention. Do you?

[Anonymous]

If someone bought a gun, without talking to me, into our family with young children, he would be sleeping on the street with his precious weapon. I am quite avidly anti gun and would not want this in my home.

Living with a hand gun owner makes you 7x more likely to be shot by your spouse. 84% of those victims are women. As for protection, no difference in homocides by strangers - living with a gun does not make you safer, and some studies showed gun owners actually more likely to be killed by strangers. Women are 50% more likely to die by suicide than gun-free neighbours and are 4x more likely to die by suicide from gun.

No thank you.

[Anonymous]

Because this is anonymous, I'll share an anecdote that underlies the need for caution about guns in the home.

I grew up with a military retiree who was a lifelong NRA member. He kept a small arsenal of long rifles, shotguns and handguns in our home. He kept them locked in a gun cabinet with ammunition kept separately. The cabinet was a bit of a joke because it had a glass door - clearly very easy to break into. But more importantly, by the time we were pre-teens my brother and I knew where the key was kept so the locked cabinet was no deterrent to us.

We were introduced to gun safety and operation of firearms very early on and had both been target shooting by the time we were in the late single and early double digits. We knew to never point a gun at anything you didn't intend to shoot, etc.

One day after school I was getting my newspapers together for delivery on the paper route I had. My house was the drop off location for the area, and a couple of other kids who had routes came to my house to get their papers. They were boys and I was a girl, and they bullied me mercilessly. They called me names and physically assaulted me on a regular basis but I never said anything because I wanted my paper route and my parents were not really sympathetic to such issues being bullies themselves.

This one particular day those boys were being truly awful to me and I was losing it emotionally - I was 12 years old and very hormonal and like all kids that age, sometimes feelings would override reason. I went into the house, fetched the key, opened the gun cabinet, grabbed a shotgun and went outside and pointed it at those boys and told them I'd shoot them if they didn't stop bullying and pushing me around. They both grabbed their papers and took off, and they never said anything to anyone apparently because nothing ever got back to me. However, my neighbor did see it happen and he confronted me later. He knew I was a good kid because I regularly babysat his toddler. He also knew if he told my dad I would probably be physically harmed, because he'd heard the abuse going on in our house being the next door neighbor. He made me promise to never do anything like it again and the secret stayed between us.

My point being, don't rely on normal measures of security if you're going to have firearms in a house with children. Even if they are conscientious and you teach them everything about firearms safety, and you lock the guns up, it is no guarantee they won't get access to the guns and act on terrible impulse as young developing minds are wont to do. A gun safe with a combo or key lock accessible only to adults is the only way to do it right. The key should never be in the house with the safe and the kids, because kids find everything in your home there are no real secrets from kids.

That's my advice. By the way, I grew up to be a very much more than okay adult, earned a number of degrees, worked in education and the law, have a better than average character. My point being that really good kids can do really stupid things and the mistakes that can be made with firearms are generally irreversible and life altering.

[Anonymous]

Firearms are the leading cause of death for kids up to age 17. He better be damn sure he’s got the gun and the ammo locked up separately in ways the kids can’t get to. And never ever ever underestimate the curiosity and ability of kids to get into things. I wouldn’t keep a gun in my house, not least of all because I’ve had a few bouts of depression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If someone bought a gun, without talking to me, into our family with young children, he would be sleeping on the street with his precious weapon. I am quite avidly anti gun and would not want this in my home.

Living with a hand gun owner makes you 7x more likely to be shot by your spouse. 84% of those victims are women. As for protection, no difference in homocides by strangers - living with a gun does not make you safer, and some studies showed gun owners actually more likely to be killed by strangers. Women are 50% more likely to die by suicide than gun-free neighbours and are 4x more likely to die by suicide from gun.

No thank you.

As someone who worked in the criminal law field this is because guns are often an attractive item to steal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's taken up shooting as a hobby in the past few months and recently decided to purchase a gun. He came home with it without discussion. We have elementary age kids, and I just don't want it in the house. He doesn't care, says it's for his hobby and he'll keep it locked up. Am I unreasonable? Is he?

I'm always nervous about men who keep guns in the house when their wives are not on board. It's a big deal. I'm a gun owner and so is my wife. If I were not and she was that's a red line for me.

[Anonymous]

Make sure you discuss bringing home bleach, toilet bowl cleaner, gasoline for the mower, sewing needles, matches for the grill too.

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure how you didn’t have this discussion of owning a gun once your husband started having this hobby. I’m not sure my husband has ever shot a gun and I’ve told him that I won’t live in a house with one. There are too many safety concerns and I’m an anxious person, so it would just be too much.

If you felt this strongly, you should have discussed it. Now that he has it, I think you should have strong rules on safe storage, including actions if it’s not stored safely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make sure you discuss bringing home bleach, toilet bowl cleaner, gasoline for the mower, sewing needles, matches for the grill too.

I'd like you to go read some statistics. Firearms kill more than 3x as many kids as accidental poisonings of all types. Firearms have outstripped traffic deaths as the leading cause of death for children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is horrible and downright dangerous. I was in this situation, but I said “either you live with your gun or you live with your wife/kids.”
His family member stored the gun for him. That marriage ended in divorce within a few years.
This should have been discussed with you. Please protect your children. ASAP.

Yep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If someone bought a gun, without talking to me, into our family with young children, he would be sleeping on the street with his precious weapon. I am quite avidly anti gun and would not want this in my home.

Living with a hand gun owner makes you 7x more likely to be shot by your spouse. 84% of those victims are women. As for protection, no difference in homocides by strangers - living with a gun does not make you safer, and some studies showed gun owners actually more likely to be killed by strangers. Women are 50% more likely to die by suicide than gun-free neighbours and are 4x more likely to die by suicide from gun.

No thank you.

As someone who worked in the criminal law field this is because guns are often an attractive item to steal.

Oh that’s interesting. I was wondering why that particular stat was high, I just assumed it was the artificial bravado some gun toting folks have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make sure you discuss bringing home bleach, toilet bowl cleaner, gasoline for the mower, sewing needles, matches for the grill too.

I'd like you to go read some statistics. Firearms kill more than 3x as many kids as accidental poisonings of all types. Firearms have outstripped traffic deaths as the leading cause of death for children

Yes. Comparing guns to curling irons and matches makes this person sound literally insane. Just another nra lackey, lacking brain cells.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is horrible and downright dangerous. I was in this situation, but I said “either you live with your gun or you live with your wife/kids.”
His family member stored the gun for him. That marriage ended in divorce within a few years.
This should have been discussed with you. Please protect your children. ASAP.

Yep.

NP And how exactly will he live without kids? If they get a divorce, the kid will be 50-50. So this is not a deterrent. There are nuts out there who would value a weapon more than their spouse, but what you are saying does not make sense. It's an empty threat and he would know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is horrible and downright dangerous. I was in this situation, but I said “either you live with your gun or you live with your wife/kids.”
His family member stored the gun for him. That marriage ended in divorce within a few years.
This should have been discussed with you. Please protect your children. ASAP.

Yep.

NP And how exactly will he live without kids? If they get a divorce, the kid will be 50-50. So this is not a deterrent. There are nuts out there who would value a weapon more than their spouse, but what you are saying does not make sense. It's an empty threat and he would know it.

Anti gun here. a) That would be better than living with a gun 100% of the time, and b) i'd fight 50/50 (but then, in my particular case, i'd win, not b/c of a gun)