DH Bought a Gun

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
--- please do not quote this post in your responses

Let me put a different angle on this - I know someone whose DH suddenly got into hunting, then shooting, then self-defense, purchasing over 10 guns of different types within the span of less than two years. The spouse was not ok with this - they had both been fervently anti-gun since they had known each other, they had an elementary school kid, and he had MH issues. She expressed this as much as she could, and it progressed from "Ok, I will not bring these home" to bringing everything home (she learned of some purchases months after the fact, after spouse had explicitly lied about this). When she expressed that she felt really uncomfortable with this, she was told in no uncertain terms by her spouse that if either puts up with this or he gets a divorce.

Now, she did not feel great that he basically told her "take it or leave it", but she was shocked that he would gladly give up half time with their child for his love of guns.

This might not be the OP's case, but situations like this one do exist more often than you think.

What. The off-topic. Controlling. Mess. Is. This?

This isn't what the OP is describing at all, and what the hell with the "don't quote this"? If you don't want it known, don't post it on the internet. Nobody here owes you this weirdo privacy because you're leading with some control drama. Freak.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:The gun lives at t the range. Woman here and don’t mind guns, they live at the range where they are used and handled properly. If he won’t do that, teach your kids gun safety and consider divorce. Then mandate and decide how hard to fight if he prioritizes the gun over his family. Husband has considered a gun bc I was attacked and I say no even with that. Parents have guns and fine w gone safety protocols including acceptable mental health protocols

What range do you patronize that provides ongoing firearm storage service?

Only a gun club would provide that service. But you are paying a lot more than the gun he bought to be a member.

Owning a gun safely is not that hard - there are things called safes you bolt into your floor, wall or both that are nearly impossible to break into…and the people that could break into it aren’t wasting their time for a $600 Glock.
No kid is getting, that is for sure.

And yet, thousands (tens?!) of children do in fact get in there each year. You are wrong for claiming 100% success when there are so so so many gun deaths per years.

Sigh. NP. The kids who get ahold of guns aren't going through multiple safes, fingerprint triggers, etc. They're accessing guns that are carelessly stored. That was PP's point.

Agreed. Some of these people aren't thinking logically, and this thread has become a bit of a joke.

So how are thousands of kids killed every year from guns if everyone is super duper responsible? Clearly there’s a disconnect that you refuse to acknowledge.

There aren't thousands killed. That's ridiculous and you lose all credibility when you exaggerate things like that to that excess.

20,000 per year on average kill themselves with a firearm. Suicide is not "gun violence" by any means. So those are dismissed.

10,000 per year are killed by someone with a firearm, with around 9000 of those are inner city gang members or criminals that are shot either by citizens or police.

Suicide can't be dismissed. It's probably the best reason not to bring a gun into a house with a child, who is going to become a teenager, who may quickly develop mental illness and try to kill themselves. If you look at the rates of suicide by state, they mostly differ because of access to firearms.

That's not how any of this works. If/when circumstances change, you can change your circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
--- please do not quote this post in your responses

Let me put a different angle on this - I know someone whose DH suddenly got into hunting, then shooting, then self-defense, purchasing over 10 guns of different types within the span of less than two years. The spouse was not ok with this - they had both been fervently anti-gun since they had known each other, they had an elementary school kid, and he had MH issues. She expressed this as much as she could, and it progressed from "Ok, I will not bring these home" to bringing everything home (she learned of some purchases months after the fact, after spouse had explicitly lied about this). When she expressed that she felt really uncomfortable with this, she was told in no uncertain terms by her spouse that if either puts up with this or he gets a divorce.

Now, she did not feel great that he basically told her "take it or leave it", but she was shocked that he would gladly give up half time with their child for his love of guns.

This might not be the OP's case, but situations like this one do exist more often than you think.

Please don’t quote THIS reply in your responses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
--- please do not quote this post in your responses

Let me put a different angle on this - I know someone whose DH suddenly got into hunting, then shooting, then self-defense, purchasing over 10 guns of different types within the span of less than two years. The spouse was not ok with this - they had both been fervently anti-gun since they had known each other, they had an elementary school kid, and he had MH issues. She expressed this as much as she could, and it progressed from "Ok, I will not bring these home" to bringing everything home (she learned of some purchases months after the fact, after spouse had explicitly lied about this). When she expressed that she felt really uncomfortable with this, she was told in no uncertain terms by her spouse that if either puts up with this or he gets a divorce.

Now, she did not feel great that he basically told her "take it or leave it", but she was shocked that he would gladly give up half time with their child for his love of guns.

This might not be the OP's case, but situations like this one do exist more often than you think.

Please don’t quote THIS reply in your responses.

Please don't quote THIS reply to THAT reply in your responses.

[Anonymous]

This is a troll thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a troll thread.

This is a troll board, hunty. You must be new here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many of these replies are, “tell me you’re an urban, liberal elite without telling me you’re an urban liberal elite.”

You never read about toddlers of urban liberal elite non gun-owners accidentally shooting their sibling with a gun they found in their mom’s purse. So not the own you think this is.

And you can talk all you want about gun safety but people make mistakes. I knew a guy who dated a friend of mine; he was an NRA member and liked to mock her urban liberal elite friends and he died when he accidentally shot himself cleaning his gun. She married another guy a few years later and had kids and has been living her best life and he was dead at 24. But at least he owned us libs.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:The gun lives at t the range. Woman here and don’t mind guns, they live at the range where they are used and handled properly. If he won’t do that, teach your kids gun safety and consider divorce. Then mandate and decide how hard to fight if he prioritizes the gun over his family. Husband has considered a gun bc I was attacked and I say no even with that. Parents have guns and fine w gone safety protocols including acceptable mental health protocols

What range do you patronize that provides ongoing firearm storage service?

Only a gun club would provide that service. But you are paying a lot more than the gun he bought to be a member.

Owning a gun safely is not that hard - there are things called safes you bolt into your floor, wall or both that are nearly impossible to break into…and the people that could break into it aren’t wasting their time for a $600 Glock.
No kid is getting, that is for sure.

And yet, thousands (tens?!) of children do in fact get in there each year. You are wrong for claiming 100% success when there are so so so many gun deaths per years.

Sigh. NP. The kids who get ahold of guns aren't going through multiple safes, fingerprint triggers, etc. They're accessing guns that are carelessly stored. That was PP's point.

Agreed. Some of these people aren't thinking logically, and this thread has become a bit of a joke.

So how are thousands of kids killed every year from guns if everyone is super duper responsible? Clearly there’s a disconnect that you refuse to acknowledge.

Literally no one said everyone is super responsible. In fact, my response, had you bothered to read it, acknowledged that a lot of people aren't.

If you acknowledge that, why are you so upset that people are on OPs side about not wanting a gun in the home with small kids around? You sound like you’re the old man yelling at clouds and yet saying nothing.

Because OP’s husband was being responsible. I really wonder how people like you function in the real world.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:That thing would get dropped off at the police station. You brought it home without asking me. I got rid of it without asking you. Fair's fair.

You sound like a fscking child. Grow up and learn how to have a conversation about your boundaries upfront instead of asking your family members to ask your royal permission or face your immature petty nonsense. Use your words.

Funny how you don’t say that about the husband? Sexist AH.

She's not his mommy or his boss. He doesn't need to beg her consent or her forgiveness for making an adult decision, responsibly.

There's nothing sexist about it. Flip the roles in the OP and my response is exactly the same, which is why the comment you're calling "sexist" is devoid of gender indicators at all. You're telling on yourself, PP.

You are sexist though, it’s coming through loud and clear. You think men have no responsibility to their spouse, but you think women DO have responsibility to theirs. You put all the blame for this situation on a woman “not communicating” but absolutely none on the man who didn’t communicate at all! Why isn’t HE using his words? Why aren’t you using equally harsh language towards him?

He did communicate, openly and honestly. That's how OP knows there's a gun.

You're projecting REALLY hard right now. I'm gonna let you, and it's about you, not me.

He did not communicate ahead of time that he wanted to buy a gun. He did not let OP know he was going to hit the shops and bring one home. Why couldn’t he just use his words to discuss with his spouse?

Why does he have to communicate ahead of time just in case his wife has big feelings she hasn't thought to bring up in the several weeks/months he's had shooting as a hobby? Why are you making him more responsible for her feelings/wants than she is? That's absurd.

You expect women to communicate but not men. Hmm interesting.

He did communicate. He told her he bought a gun and a gun safe. He didn't beg for her permission, because he's an adult and can go shopping without his wife writing him a permission slip about it.

She didn't communicate that she was against having a gun in the house, despite the fact that he clearly communicated about wanting to learn how to shoot, going shooting regularly, etc.

It is her job to communicate her wants, because she's an adult, not a child. He doesn't need to coax her opinion out of her. If she has big feelings about things, she needs to put on her big kid pants and use her words.

Quit trying to make it about men vs. women. It's adults. Period. All of them. This is how mature adults of any configuration are expected to communicate their wants/needs/thoughts/feelings. Grow up.

It's trollbait because the subject of the thread is guns, but this is literally how people who share space need to communicate about all the things. I don't want sweets in the house because I'll eat them daily if I have access. So I said this, up front, to the people I live with, who respect my preferences because I made them clear.

OP didn't, and it's her job to make her thoughts/feelings known, because she's grown. It's not her spouse's job to guess correctly and never cross the lines she invisibly drew. And the inverse is true, so misandrist troll can unclench and stand down.

So you won’t let anyone in your house have sweets because you can’t control yourself around them? Are you serious?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man, these gun lovers are just as viciously argumentative as the pot moms over in the other thread.
OP, take care of yourself and please please protect those kids. Make a safety plan and talk to kids about it asap.

Please post pot mom thread.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1274796.page

[Anonymous]

What are you and your husband telling the parents of kids who play at your house? Do they know there are guns in your house before their kids go over to play with your children?

[Anonymous]

Troll thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make sure you discuss bringing home bleach, toilet bowl cleaner, gasoline for the mower, sewing needles, matches for the grill too.

I'd like you to go read some statistics. Firearms kill more than 3x as many kids as accidental poisonings of all types. Firearms have outstripped traffic deaths as the leading cause of death for children

Now break down the statistics on the “kids”.

Most of them are your feral pet monkeys killing each other in the shtreeets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of these replies are, “tell me you’re an urban, liberal elite without telling me you’re an urban liberal elite.”

You never read about toddlers of urban liberal elite non gun-owners accidentally shooting their sibling with a gun they found in their mom’s purse. So not the own you think this is.

And you can talk all you want about gun safety but people make mistakes. I knew a guy who dated a friend of mine; he was an NRA member and liked to mock her urban liberal elite friends and he died when he accidentally shot himself cleaning his gun. She married another guy a few years later and had kids and has been living her best life and he was dead at 24. But at least he owned us libs.

+1
I feel fine with my choices of avoiding guns in my home. If someone wants to mock me (as many pps seem to enjoy) I really don’t care. I know that these sorts of “accidents” will just simply not happen here, and I’m comforted by that thought.

I really am struggling to understand the rabid gun-loving view that you’d put a weapon above the wants and feelings of your partner. Even if people have different views on it, as op and her dh seem to, part of being married is compromising and discussing things as a family. Unilaterally choosing to alter your home life so drastically without discussion is just immature and unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of these replies are, “tell me you’re an urban, liberal elite without telling me you’re an urban liberal elite.”

You never read about toddlers of urban liberal elite non gun-owners accidentally shooting their sibling with a gun they found in their mom’s purse. So not the own you think this is.

And you can talk all you want about gun safety but people make mistakes. I knew a guy who dated a friend of mine; he was an NRA member and liked to mock her urban liberal elite friends and he died when he accidentally shot himself cleaning his gun. She married another guy a few years later and had kids and has been living her best life and he was dead at 24. But at least he owned us libs.

+1
I feel fine with my choices of avoiding guns in my home. If someone wants to mock me (as many pps seem to enjoy) I really don’t care. I know that these sorts of “accidents” will just simply not happen here, and I’m comforted by that thought.

I really am struggling to understand the rabid gun-loving view that you’d put a weapon above the wants and feelings of your partner. Even if people have different views on it, as op and her dh seem to, part of being married is compromising and discussing things as a family. Unilaterally choosing to alter your home life so drastically without discussion is just immature and unreasonable.

This overly-dramatic response is so pathetic. OP didn't have a conversation about her feelings upfront, despite her husband being honest and clear that he was taking up shooting as a hobby. Buying a gun isn't an "out of the blue" move at this point, and characterizing same as "unilaterally choosing to alter your home life so drastically" is fscking ridiculous. It's an inanimate object that is currently in a gun safe. Have the conversation you should've already had about it and quit being a hypersensitive tw@.