6th grade DD is being excluded from social events with longtime friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP. I don’t think you have to force your kids to play with dolls, but you can prevent her from doing TikTok challenges and letting her a$$ hang out from her microskirt.

Oh wow. The Friday drunk mom moved from the elementary school board to here. Because ANY middle and high school parent know that zero teens are wearing “micro skirts” The style is baggy mom jeans, sweat pants, and crop or sport tops. Go too off your glass sweetie. Keep making a complete a$$ out of yourself.

And i don’t know one 6th grader playing with dolls. I sure didn’t either when I was in 6th grade. Stop babying teens.

6th graders aren't teens, they're kids. In fact, teens are kids as well.

My 6th grader is 12 so I guess they must stay like a child and miraculously turn teen at 13? There is a reason there are tween ages for 4-6th grade

Your kid is really old for the grade.

How? My child was also 12 in 6th grade. Graduated at 18. Isn’t that when most kids graduate? Many red shirts graduate at 19 so there can be 13yr olds in 6th grade too.

My start 6th grade at 12 you were redshirted. You have to turn 12 after the cutoff (for us it’s 9/30) to not be a redshirt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP. I don’t think you have to force your kids to play with dolls, but you can prevent her from doing TikTok challenges and letting her a$$ hang out from her microskirt.

Oh wow. The Friday drunk mom moved from the elementary school board to here. Because ANY middle and high school parent know that zero teens are wearing “micro skirts” The style is baggy mom jeans, sweat pants, and crop or sport tops. Go too off your glass sweetie. Keep making a complete a$$ out of yourself.

And i don’t know one 6th grader playing with dolls. I sure didn’t either when I was in 6th grade. Stop babying teens.

6th graders aren't teens, they're kids. In fact, teens are kids as well.

My 6th grader is 12 so I guess they must stay like a child and miraculously turn teen at 13? There is a reason there are tween ages for 4-6th grade

Your kid is really old for the grade.

How? My child was also 12 in 6th grade. Graduated at 18. Isn’t that when most kids graduate? Many red shirts graduate at 19 so there can be 13yr olds in 6th grade too.

My son turned 13 in May of 6th grade.

That's because you held him back a year.

My daughter has a May birthday and started school on time, she will turn 12 in 6th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tween wasn't even a word or concept until recent years either.

Tweens have been a thing for at least 15 years (I have 25 year old nieces who were called tweens when they were in 5th/6th/7th grade)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tween wasn't even a word or concept until recent years either.

You mean, *you* didn’t notice it until recent years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Huh? I have kids in MS and HS. When the weather is warm the shorts go very, very short for some girls. Sometimes short and tight jean shorts with tiny bra top. Or sometimes short and really baggy (why?) and you can see a full butt cheek. “Microskirts” cover the very short bodycon/babydoll/skater dresses - the length goes 1/4” max past the butt cheek. It was shocking for me to see what some girls wear to school parties, bat mitzvahs, and even school. They dress like they are 17, not 12. Maybe it’s me but the hypersexualization of tweens/teens is unsettling.

My son is a 13 year old 8th grader. At least half of his friends are female, and none of them dress like that. So it isn't everyone.

I know it’s not everyone. My kid is (fortunately) addicted to hoodies.

The point came up earlier that kids mature (physically - and socially) at different rates and that disparity can cause issues in relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tween wasn't even a word or concept until recent years either.

You mean, *you* didn’t notice it until recent years.

Nope not a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tween wasn't even a word or concept until recent years either.

You mean, *you* didn’t notice it until recent years.

Nope not a thing.

Tween has been around for a long time. You just weren’t aware of its use.

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=Tween&year_start=1800&year_end=2019&corpus=28&smoothing=3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Again, how is it micro managing? If a friendship truly falls through then ok, but I'm not going to let my kid just dump friends for stupid reasons.

You're not going to "let" your child choose not to be friends with someone? How exactly are you going to do that? Force invitations? Ask the school to compel them to sit together at lunch?

I didn't say that. I said that I'm not going to let my kid be a jerk about and just dump someone because that's just mean. I should know it happened to me.

You're the problem. Parents trying to force a friendship make everything so much worse. If you make your DD spend time with someone she doesn't wish to spend time with, she will one way or another resent and punish the other child for it. On the surface, everything might look fine, but your DD is likely to make snide comments or do other subtle but mean things to the girl you're forcing her to hang out with. It will also escalate the mean girl behaviors when the girls are at school or away from your supervision.

NP. There is a difference between forcing a friendship and teaching your kids not to be jerks. There's a difference between forcing your child to invite a kid they don't like to your house for a sleepover, and being inclusive in large group hangouts after school. There is a difference between telling your child they MUST befriend someone, and telling them that it's rude to try and avoid class projects or sitting near a particular person at school, where neither child has a choice of being.

You can teach your child to be kind and empathetic towards others without forcing them to be friends with people they aren't into being friends with. In fact, I'd argue that it's incumbent on parents to teach these skills because otherwise the passive aggressive mean girl behavior of exclusion, gossip, teasing, etc., continues into college and the workplace.

People need to learn that you can choose your friends but that does not mean you can guarantee that you will only ever have to talk to or interact with your select friend group. That's why this stuff gets toxic and becomes cliques and mean girl behavior -- when the selected friend groups also become hierarchies at school and in activities. I do not support my kid in participating in that. It's mean and unnecessary.

DP. I’ll add that sometimes it’s the large inclusive group where the trouble starts. I’ve had conversations with my kids that you can have lots of different friends but you learn that some groups don’t mix well. 6th grade is when this starts becoming more apparent. For my kids, it was the opposite. You don’t need to ghost a long time friend. But have common sense if they aren’t going to mesh with a big group of new friends for whatever reason. Hang out in small groups or one on one but don’t invite everyone to everything. That’s how the drama starts. It’s better if they have different groups of friends anyway, rather than one big group.

When I go out with friends, I don’t invite everyone I know to come. It’s the same thing.

[Anonymous]

The point came up earlier that kids mature (physically - and socially) at different rates and that disparity can cause issues in relationships.

Agreed, but the young ladies that I am speaking of are physically mature and appear socially mature (a few of them have boyfriends, though I don't know what that means to them). They're just sporty, low-key people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP. I don’t think you have to force your kids to play with dolls, but you can prevent her from doing TikTok challenges and letting her a$$ hang out from her microskirt.

Oh wow. The Friday drunk mom moved from the elementary school board to here. Because ANY middle and high school parent know that zero teens are wearing “micro skirts” The style is baggy mom jeans, sweat pants, and crop or sport tops. Go too off your glass sweetie. Keep making a complete a$$ out of yourself.

And i don’t know one 6th grader playing with dolls. I sure didn’t either when I was in 6th grade. Stop babying teens.

6th graders aren't teens, they're kids. In fact, teens are kids as well.

My 6th grader is 12 so I guess they must stay like a child and miraculously turn teen at 13? There is a reason there are tween ages for 4-6th grade

Your kid is really old for the grade.

How? My child was also 12 in 6th grade. Graduated at 18. Isn’t that when most kids graduate? Many red shirts graduate at 19 so there can be 13yr olds in 6th grade too.

My son turned 13 in May of 6th grade.

That's because you held him back a year.

My daughter has a May birthday and started school on time, she will turn 12 in 6th grade.

Did you accidently wander here from the Elementary forum?
This is the Teen forum. No one cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP. I don’t think you have to force your kids to play with dolls, but you can prevent her from doing TikTok challenges and letting her a$$ hang out from her microskirt.

Oh wow. The Friday drunk mom moved from the elementary school board to here. Because ANY middle and high school parent know that zero teens are wearing “micro skirts” The style is baggy mom jeans, sweat pants, and crop or sport tops. Go too off your glass sweetie. Keep making a complete a$$ out of yourself.

And i don’t know one 6th grader playing with dolls. I sure didn’t either when I was in 6th grade. Stop babying teens.

6th graders aren't teens, they're kids. In fact, teens are kids as well.

My 6th grader is 12 so I guess they must stay like a child and miraculously turn teen at 13? There is a reason there are tween ages for 4-6th grade

Your kid is really old for the grade.

How? My child was also 12 in 6th grade. Graduated at 18. Isn’t that when most kids graduate? Many red shirts graduate at 19 so there can be 13yr olds in 6th grade too.

My son turned 13 in May of 6th grade.

That's because you held him back a year.

My daughter has a May birthday and started school on time, she will turn 12 in 6th grade.

Did you accidently wander here from the Elementary forum?
This is the Teen forum. No one cares.

NP. Did you not read the title of the post? It’s about 6th graders. And this is teens AND tweens forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP. I don’t think you have to force your kids to play with dolls, but you can prevent her from doing TikTok challenges and letting her a$$ hang out from her microskirt.

Oh wow. The Friday drunk mom moved from the elementary school board to here. Because ANY middle and high school parent know that zero teens are wearing “micro skirts” The style is baggy mom jeans, sweat pants, and crop or sport tops. Go too off your glass sweetie. Keep making a complete a$$ out of yourself.

And i don’t know one 6th grader playing with dolls. I sure didn’t either when I was in 6th grade. Stop babying teens.

6th graders aren't teens, they're kids. In fact, teens are kids as well.

My 6th grader is 12 so I guess they must stay like a child and miraculously turn teen at 13? There is a reason there are tween ages for 4-6th grade

Your kid is really old for the grade.

How? My child was also 12 in 6th grade. Graduated at 18. Isn’t that when most kids graduate? Many red shirts graduate at 19 so there can be 13yr olds in 6th grade too.

My son turned 13 in May of 6th grade.

That's because you held him back a year.

My daughter has a May birthday and started school on time, she will turn 12 in 6th grade.

Did you accidently wander here from the Elementary forum?
This is the Teen forum. No one cares.

NP. Did you not read the title of the post? It’s about 6th graders. And this is teens AND tweens forum.

Okay, so it's the tweens forum too. Seems far removed from worrying when your kids started KG.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP. I don’t think you have to force your kids to play with dolls, but you can prevent her from doing TikTok challenges and letting her a$$ hang out from her microskirt.

Oh wow. The Friday drunk mom moved from the elementary school board to here. Because ANY middle and high school parent know that zero teens are wearing “micro skirts” The style is baggy mom jeans, sweat pants, and crop or sport tops. Go too off your glass sweetie. Keep making a complete a$$ out of yourself.

And i don’t know one 6th grader playing with dolls. I sure didn’t either when I was in 6th grade. Stop babying teens.

6th graders aren't teens, they're kids. In fact, teens are kids as well.

My 6th grader is 12 so I guess they must stay like a child and miraculously turn teen at 13? There is a reason there are tween ages for 4-6th grade

Your kid is really old for the grade.

How? My child was also 12 in 6th grade. Graduated at 18. Isn’t that when most kids graduate? Many red shirts graduate at 19 so there can be 13yr olds in 6th grade too.

My son turned 13 in May of 6th grade.

That's because you held him back a year.

My daughter has a May birthday and started school on time, she will turn 12 in 6th grade.

Did you accidently wander here from the Elementary forum?
This is the Teen forum. No one cares.

Clearly people care or else the thread you were replying to wouldn't exist. Maybe read the entire thread of what you're replying to before posting a stupid response.

[Anonymous]

All of this drama because parents don't want their kids to be jerks and want them to actually be kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of this drama because parents don't want their kids to be jerks and want them to actually be kids

+1