Christmas travel-leaving 2 year old home while whole family goes to Caribbean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is becoming abusive. Just stop it everyone.

Op here. The crazy thing is that the thread as it is now is after I reported a ton of comments and Jeff deleted them. People telling me to rehome my child, that I should have aborted him, that I’m a terrible person and a terrible mother.

I guess this subject has really hit a nerve.

You aired something uncomfortable. Folks have opinions. The nerves are your own.

Going on a one week vacation without a 2 year does not call for telling someone to abort or rehome a child. "Folks" are a-holes.

-not OP

This kid spends days with multiple Nannie’s, not the parents and parents now plan to leave the kid home. That’s sad. I have a sn child. If anything I was more protective at that age as they could not talk and I’d never leave my kid home.

It is heartwarming to hear how this thread has provided an opportunity for you to reflect on what an incredible parent you are. Don't we all jist love finding someone we can put down so we can feel good about ourselves? Especially with the holidays coming up.

You don’t leave one child home during the holidays. If the holidays are about family you don’t exclude one member. They can bring a nanny.

Well I mean obviously YOU don't do that. Clearly other people have done it. That's why they are terrible parents and you are the best parent.

Great, now we're castigating people for being good parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is becoming abusive. Just stop it everyone.

Op here. The crazy thing is that the thread as it is now is after I reported a ton of comments and Jeff deleted them. People telling me to rehome my child, that I should have aborted him, that I’m a terrible person and a terrible mother.

I guess this subject has really hit a nerve.

You aired something uncomfortable. Folks have opinions. The nerves are your own.

Going on a one week vacation without a 2 year does not call for telling someone to abort or rehome a child. "Folks" are a-holes.

-not OP

This kid spends days with multiple Nannie’s, not the parents and parents now plan to leave the kid home. That’s sad. I have a sn child. If anything I was more protective at that age as they could not talk and I’d never leave my kid home.

It is heartwarming to hear how this thread has provided an opportunity for you to reflect on what an incredible parent you are. Don't we all jist love finding someone we can put down so we can feel good about ourselves? Especially with the holidays coming up.

You don’t leave one child home during the holidays. If the holidays are about family you don’t exclude one member. They can bring a nanny.

Well I mean obviously YOU don't do that. Clearly other people have done it. That's why they are terrible parents and you are the best parent.

Great, now we're castigating people for being good parents.

Who is castigating anybody?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is becoming abusive. Just stop it everyone.

Op here. The crazy thing is that the thread as it is now is after I reported a ton of comments and Jeff deleted them. People telling me to rehome my child, that I should have aborted him, that I’m a terrible person and a terrible mother.

I guess this subject has really hit a nerve.

You aired something uncomfortable. Folks have opinions. The nerves are your own.

Going on a one week vacation without a 2 year does not call for telling someone to abort or rehome a child. "Folks" are a-holes.

-not OP

This kid spends days with multiple Nannie’s, not the parents and parents now plan to leave the kid home. That’s sad. I have a sn child. If anything I was more protective at that age as they could not talk and I’d never leave my kid home.

It is heartwarming to hear how this thread has provided an opportunity for you to reflect on what an incredible parent you are. Don't we all jist love finding someone we can put down so we can feel good about ourselves? Especially with the holidays coming up.

You don’t leave one child home during the holidays. If the holidays are about family you don’t exclude one member. They can bring a nanny.

Well I mean obviously YOU don't do that. Clearly other people have done it. That's why they are terrible parents and you are the best parent.

Great, now we're castigating people for being good parents.

Who is castigating anybody?

Don't be coy. The castigation is bolded.

[Anonymous]

I don't think I know any parent who has not had to cancel a trip or something else they wanted to do because of the challenges of parenting in a pandemic. It sucks. But I don't have a lot of sympathy for this story that the trip is absolutely not flexible and OP simply needs to go to the beach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is becoming abusive. Just stop it everyone.

Op here. The crazy thing is that the thread as it is now is after I reported a ton of comments and Jeff deleted them. People telling me to rehome my child, that I should have aborted him, that I’m a terrible person and a terrible mother.

I guess this subject has really hit a nerve.

You aired something uncomfortable. Folks have opinions. The nerves are your own.

Going on a one week vacation without a 2 year does not call for telling someone to abort or rehome a child. "Folks" are a-holes.

-not OP

This kid spends days with multiple Nannie’s, not the parents and parents now plan to leave the kid home. That’s sad. I have a sn child. If anything I was more protective at that age as they could not talk and I’d never leave my kid home.

It is heartwarming to hear how this thread has provided an opportunity for you to reflect on what an incredible parent you are. Don't we all jist love finding someone we can put down so we can feel good about ourselves? Especially with the holidays coming up.

You don’t leave one child home during the holidays. If the holidays are about family you don’t exclude one member. They can bring a nanny.

Well I mean obviously YOU don't do that. Clearly other people have done it. That's why they are terrible parents and you are the best parent.

Great, now we're castigating people for being good parents.

Who is castigating anybody?

Don't be coy. The castigation is bolded.

That's not castigating people for being good parents. That's me making fun of parents who tear down other parents to make themselves feel good about themselves. Sounds to me like you can dish it out, but you can't take it. You know it's actually possible to express differences of opinion without attacking a person's character? This happens all of the time outside of DCUM and other anonymous forums.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL Sounds like you don't like your 2-year-old very much. Who even contemplates taking their entire family but one child and abandoning them for a week at Christmas?

This. I can't even read this anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is becoming abusive. Just stop it everyone.

Op here. The crazy thing is that the thread as it is now is after I reported a ton of comments and Jeff deleted them. People telling me to rehome my child, that I should have aborted him, that I’m a terrible person and a terrible mother.

I guess this subject has really hit a nerve.

You aired something uncomfortable. Folks have opinions. The nerves are your own.

Going on a one week vacation without a 2 year does not call for telling someone to abort or rehome a child. "Folks" are a-holes.

-not OP

This kid spends days with multiple Nannie’s, not the parents and parents now plan to leave the kid home. That’s sad. I have a sn child. If anything I was more protective at that age as they could not talk and I’d never leave my kid home.

It is heartwarming to hear how this thread has provided an opportunity for you to reflect on what an incredible parent you are. Don't we all jist love finding someone we can put down so we can feel good about ourselves? Especially with the holidays coming up.

You don’t leave one child home during the holidays. If the holidays are about family you don’t exclude one member. They can bring a nanny.

Well I mean obviously YOU don't do that. Clearly other people have done it. That's why they are terrible parents and you are the best parent.

Great, now we're castigating people for being good parents.

Who is castigating anybody?

Don't be coy. The castigation is bolded.

That's not castigating people for being good parents. That's me making fun of parents who tear down other parents to make themselves feel good about themselves. Sounds to me like you can dish it out, but you can't take it. You know it's actually possible to express differences of opinion without attacking a person's character? This happens all of the time outside of DCUM and other anonymous forums.

Bull. That's you shaming someone for not wanting to leave their kids behind, by weaponizing the desire to be a good parent and soaking it in sarcasm. And then you spin off more attacks on me (dishing it out, etc.) You must be feeling self defensive if you deliberately misinterpret peoples' horrified reaction to this as them trying to make themselves feel better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is becoming abusive. Just stop it everyone.

Op here. The crazy thing is that the thread as it is now is after I reported a ton of comments and Jeff deleted them. People telling me to rehome my child, that I should have aborted him, that I’m a terrible person and a terrible mother.

I guess this subject has really hit a nerve.

You aired something uncomfortable. Folks have opinions. The nerves are your own.

Going on a one week vacation without a 2 year does not call for telling someone to abort or rehome a child. "Folks" are a-holes.

-not OP

This kid spends days with multiple Nannie’s, not the parents and parents now plan to leave the kid home. That’s sad. I have a sn child. If anything I was more protective at that age as they could not talk and I’d never leave my kid home.

It is heartwarming to hear how this thread has provided an opportunity for you to reflect on what an incredible parent you are. Don't we all jist love finding someone we can put down so we can feel good about ourselves? Especially with the holidays coming up.

You don’t leave one child home during the holidays. If the holidays are about family you don’t exclude one member. They can bring a nanny.

Well I mean obviously YOU don't do that. Clearly other people have done it. That's why they are terrible parents and you are the best parent.

Great, now we're castigating people for being good parents.

Who is castigating anybody?

Don't be coy. The castigation is bolded.

That's not castigating people for being good parents. That's me making fun of parents who tear down other parents to make themselves feel good about themselves. Sounds to me like you can dish it out, but you can't take it. You know it's actually possible to express differences of opinion without attacking a person's character? This happens all of the time outside of DCUM and other anonymous forums.

Bull. That's you shaming someone for not wanting to leave their kids behind, by weaponizing the desire to be a good parent and soaking it in sarcasm. And then you spin off more attacks on me (dishing it out, etc.) You must be feeling self defensive if you deliberately misinterpret peoples' horrified reaction to this as them trying to make themselves feel better.

Honey I won't even skip a trip to my in-laws (whom I cannot stand) because of anxiety that my DH will be too distracted with his mess of a family to properly care for DD. Believe me, I have no defensiveness over this, I just find the level of outrage on this thread over the top and kind of hilarious. Maybe because I kind of hate Christmas? FFS, a NT 2 yo doesn't even understand what Christmas is.

[Anonymous]

I can’t see myself doing this, but it probably won’t scar the two year old. They don’t know what Christmas is. My mom left me for two weeks at that age so she could go defend her thesis. I don’t remember the separation at all. A friend was left with her nanny in a village for two months while her parents took exams. She doesn’t recall it at all.

[Anonymous]

I'm not reading 18 pages, but has anyone with a SN sibling chimed in?

OP - do it! Leave your 2 yo home with the nanny and enjoy a vacation with your other kid.

Age 2 is the perfect time to do it because no one has memories from when they were 2.

I'm the older sibling of a SN sibling and it can be a rough life. My best memories were when my parents and I got to do something without my SN sibling. I'm sure that sounds horrible, but it is my truth. It was nice to have their full attention and be able to do things spontaneously without having to plan around my siblings moods or any challenges that may have been present where we were going.

I bet on a typical day at your house, 90% of the day is focused around your 2 yo. That's not a knock at you, that's just the reality of having a SN kid. Breaks away from your SN kid are important so you don't get burnt out either, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t see myself doing this, but it probably won’t scar the two year old. They don’t know what Christmas is. My mom left me for two weeks at that age so she could go defend her thesis. I don’t remember the separation at all. A friend was left with her nanny in a village for two months while her parents took exams. She doesn’t recall it at all.

They may not rember the events, but it leaves an imprint on their emotional recollection.

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine leaving a 2 year old who has seizures that have just recently been brought under control for a week with a nanny while I traveled to the Caribbean for a week. I am just agog. And the grandma who also thinks it's a great idea? Wow.

When my child was 2, I did leave him for a week with my mom with support from a trusted babysitter so that I could visit my deployed husband overseas. It certainly didn't scar our child and I'm glad we did it, but I was never able to fully relax. I can't imagine doing it under the conditions OP describes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t see myself doing this, but it probably won’t scar the two year old. They don’t know what Christmas is. My mom left me for two weeks at that age so she could go defend her thesis. I don’t remember the separation at all. A friend was left with her nanny in a village for two months while her parents took exams. She doesn’t recall it at all.

They may not rember the events, but it leaves an imprint on their emotional recollection.

My parents left me with extended family for my second Thanksgiving so they could take my older siblings to Disney. As a result, I"ve had a lifelong struggle with drugs/alcohol and have trouble forming emotional attachments.

Kidding! FFS, the kid will have zero memories of this. In our household my aunt likes to talk about how I sat there happily with some turkey, and I joke about my abandonment and how my parents have clearly always loved my siblings the most (not, I am the spoiled youngest).

Y'all are nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t see myself doing this, but it probably won’t scar the two year old. They don’t know what Christmas is. My mom left me for two weeks at that age so she could go defend her thesis. I don’t remember the separation at all. A friend was left with her nanny in a village for two months while her parents took exams. She doesn’t recall it at all.

They may not rember the events, but it leaves an imprint on their emotional recollection.

My parents left me with extended family for my second Thanksgiving so they could take my older siblings to Disney. As a result, I"ve had a lifelong struggle with drugs/alcohol and have trouble forming emotional attachments.

Kidding! FFS, the kid will have zero memories of this. In our household my aunt likes to talk about how I sat there happily with some turkey, and I joke about my abandonment and how my parents have clearly always loved my siblings the most (not, I am the spoiled youngest).

Y'all are nuts.

I didn't claim the kids will remember the events, but that it will emotionally impact him. And tbh, even though you like to joke about being abandoned, and belittling people who are concerned for OP's child, it looks like you were emotionally impacted as well and you play it off as a joke. But it's really not funny to someone who has developed a legit drug/alcohol dependence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t see myself doing this, but it probably won’t scar the two year old. They don’t know what Christmas is. My mom left me for two weeks at that age so she could go defend her thesis. I don’t remember the separation at all. A friend was left with her nanny in a village for two months while her parents took exams. She doesn’t recall it at all.

They may not rember the events, but it leaves an imprint on their emotional recollection.

My parents left me with extended family for my second Thanksgiving so they could take my older siblings to Disney. As a result, I"ve had a lifelong struggle with drugs/alcohol and have trouble forming emotional attachments.

Kidding! FFS, the kid will have zero memories of this. In our household my aunt likes to talk about how I sat there happily with some turkey, and I joke about my abandonment and how my parents have clearly always loved my siblings the most (not, I am the spoiled youngest).

Y'all are nuts.

I didn't claim the kids will remember the events, but that it will emotionally impact him. And tbh, even though you like to joke about being abandoned, and belittling people who are concerned for OP's child, it looks like you were emotionally impacted as well and you play it off as a joke. But it's really not funny to someone who has developed a legit drug/alcohol dependence.

I was definitely emotionally impacted. As an adult I can look back and recognize that even though my family is close, I am not the center of the universe, and other people have needs, too!