Drafted letter to other woman’s husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, you’re doing it to hurt the other woman, not to help her husband, so don’t pretend it’s about him.

So true!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sending a letter like that makes YOU look crazy.

Completely depends on the tone.

Wrong. I have gotten one of these letters when I had broken it off when an ex-fiancee to say he had been cheating on me for more than a year. The tone was nice "women sticking out for women" bull. I was really angry. I would have preferred not to get such a letter. I was very upset someone thought they had the right to but into my life. People should mind their own business. No one has any idea what goes on in someone's relationship and they have no right to "out" anyone. It is not their business. Despite her nice tone, I thought the woman was a nutcase.

I think in this situation when the marriages have been over 20 years in length and there are children involved on both sides, it's VERY DIFFERENT than a person you weren't even married to yet. You cannot begin to understand the ramifications of the cheater's actions.

NP. I think this is all the more reason NOT to tell. I'm currently divorcing DH bc I found out he cheated. I'm losing everything -- friends, family, financial security, companionship, my home. I would've rather stayed ignorant, and that's not up for debate.

I was waiting for someone to post this. What the heck am I supposed to do if I find out my spouse cheated? Throw away my house, my social circle, my retirement dreams, seeing the kids and soon to be grandkids on holidays. Over sex? I can't unhear that. Super selfish for some other woman to make that decision for me and my family.

That's crazy thinking. It's up to you how you handle a DH who stabs you in the back.

Blaming anyone for giving you the bad news is deflecting from the real problem. It's like blaming the cops who catch the criminals. Many women stay with a cheater because of the money and kids. That's ok. You don't have to love a cheater, and can consider them dead but stay for all the benefits. Many women do. Just don't blame decent people for doing the right thing.

[Anonymous]

The husband deserves to know so he can get STD tested and the risks she’s brought to his family having men she meets off the Internet into the family home.

If he’s the sole breadwinner as stated, he has all the options in the world at his disposable to change his life however he sees fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The husband deserves to know so he can get STD tested and the risks she’s brought to his family having men she meets off the Internet into the family home.

If he’s the sole breadwinner as stated, he has all the options in the world at his disposable to change his life however he sees fit.

*disposal

[Anonymous]

I don’t know any man who will be okay with finding out his wife has been using the family home as revolving door/hotel room for her Internet trysts. That’s one risky ho.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:(Archer voice)

"Do you want to start violence, because this is how you start violence"

Cheating with married people is what causes violence. Put the blame where it goes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know any man who will be okay with finding out his wife has been using the family home as revolving door/hotel room for her Internet trysts. That’s one risky ho.

Or that would welcome the messenger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know any man who will be okay with finding out his wife has been using the family home as revolving door/hotel room for her Internet trysts. That’s one risky ho.

Or that would welcome the messenger.

That’s crazy. Again I know several people that had this happen and they were so relieved somebody told them about the cheating

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(Archer voice)

"Do you want to start violence, because this is how you start violence"

Cheating with married people is what causes violence. Put the blame where it goes.

Exactly. It's more likely there are some posters that are worried somebody is about to rat them out. Expose them.

Betrayed men are not attacking the betrayed women telling that is telling them the news about their cheating spouses. Ludicrous. If anything there is an odd mutual sympathy for the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know any man who will be okay with finding out his wife has been using the family home as revolving door/hotel room for her Internet trysts. That’s one risky ho.

Or that would welcome the messenger.

Ummm...it's not the messenger he is going to have the problem with .

[Anonymous]

I would not do either. There is nothing to gain and it’s not your relationship.

[Anonymous]

I'd do it out of spite!! F*ck that Ho!

[Anonymous]

OP can we get an update?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd do it out of spite!! F*ck that Ho!

She deserves everything OP dishes out. She knowingly did something that caused a great deal of pain to a woman who never did anything to hurt her.

Both parties are to blame. Spouse and AP. They should both be dealt with for their selfish nastiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sending a letter like that makes YOU look crazy.

Completely depends on the tone.

Wrong. I have gotten one of these letters when I had broken it off when an ex-fiancee to say he had been cheating on me for more than a year. The tone was nice "women sticking out for women" bull. I was really angry. I would have preferred not to get such a letter. I was very upset someone thought they had the right to but into my life. People should mind their own business. No one has any idea what goes on in someone's relationship and they have no right to "out" anyone. It is not their business. Despite her nice tone, I thought the woman was a nutcase.

I think in this situation when the marriages have been over 20 years in length and there are children involved on both sides, it's VERY DIFFERENT than a person you weren't even married to yet. You cannot begin to understand the ramifications of the cheater's actions.

NP. I think this is all the more reason NOT to tell. I'm currently divorcing DH bc I found out he cheated. I'm losing everything -- friends, family, financial security, companionship, my home. I would've rather stayed ignorant, and that's not up for debate.

I was waiting for someone to post this. What the heck am I supposed to do if I find out my spouse cheated? Throw away my house, my social circle, my retirement dreams, seeing the kids and soon to be grandkids on holidays. Over sex? I can't unhear that. Super selfish for some other woman to make that decision for me and my family.

That's crazy thinking. It's up to you how you handle a DH who stabs you in the back.

Blaming anyone for giving you the bad news is deflecting from the real problem. It's like blaming the cops who catch the criminals. Many women stay with a cheater because of the money and kids. That's ok. You don't have to love a cheater, and can consider them dead but stay for all the benefits. Many women do. Just don't blame decent people for doing the right thing.

Many relationships have a DADT kind of agreement or understanding. Go, have sex, but don’t bring drama and emotions home. Don’t tangle that life with the life you’ve built. Most affairs are short term and end on their own once boredom sets in - not ever spouse feels the need to blow up everything else over some sex.

When someone drags them into the drama, it changes everything.