Drafted letter to other woman’s husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sending a letter like that makes YOU look crazy.

Completely depends on the tone.

Wrong. I have gotten one of these letters when I had broken it off when an ex-fiancee to say he had been cheating on me for more than a year. The tone was nice "women sticking out for women" bull. I was really angry. I would have preferred not to get such a letter. I was very upset someone thought they had the right to but into my life. People should mind their own business. No one has any idea what goes on in someone's relationship and they have no right to "out" anyone. It is not their business. Despite her nice tone, I thought the woman was a nutcase.

I think in this situation when the marriages have been over 20 years in length and there are children involved on both sides, it's VERY DIFFERENT than a person you weren't even married to yet. You cannot begin to understand the ramifications of the cheater's actions.

NP. I think this is all the more reason NOT to tell. I'm currently divorcing DH bc I found out he cheated. I'm losing everything -- friends, family, financial security, companionship, my home. I would've rather stayed ignorant, and that's not up for debate.

I was waiting for someone to post this. What the heck am I supposed to do if I find out my spouse cheated? Throw away my house, my social circle, my retirement dreams, seeing the kids and soon to be grandkids on holidays. Over sex? I can't unhear that. Super selfish for some other woman to make that decision for me and my family.

[Anonymous]

If you want to have a pretend life where your husband loves you and is faithful.... then have a pretend life where your husband loves you and is faithful! If you can ignore reality to that extent what damage can one letter do?

[Anonymous]

It’s so typical to blame the women who sent the letter. How about you be pissed at your cheating partner. You can marry the cheater fiancé or stay with your husband the other women isn’t stopping you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sending a letter like that makes YOU look crazy.

Completely depends on the tone.

Wrong. I have gotten one of these letters when I had broken it off when an ex-fiancee to say he had been cheating on me for more than a year. The tone was nice "women sticking out for women" bull. I was really angry. I would have preferred not to get such a letter. I was very upset someone thought they had the right to but into my life. People should mind their own business. No one has any idea what goes on in someone's relationship and they have no right to "out" anyone. It is not their business. Despite her nice tone, I thought the woman was a nutcase.

I think in this situation when the marriages have been over 20 years in length and there are children involved on both sides, it's VERY DIFFERENT than a person you weren't even married to yet. You cannot begin to understand the ramifications of the cheater's actions.

NP. I think this is all the more reason NOT to tell. I'm currently divorcing DH bc I found out he cheated. I'm losing everything -- friends, family, financial security, companionship, my home. I would've rather stayed ignorant, and that's not up for debate.

I was waiting for someone to post this. What the heck am I supposed to do if I find out my spouse cheated? Throw away my house, my social circle, my retirement dreams, seeing the kids and soon to be grandkids on holidays. Over sex? I can't unhear that. Super selfish for some other woman to make that decision for me and my family.

I am also currently divorcing my husband because I found it about the cheating. (found myself). I cannot believe that a husband who cheats for years would treat the wife properly. Mine was treating me and our son poorly, anger outbursts, hiding money, super controlling even though he cheats himself. And when he did all of it, it was always turned upside down, making me looking guilty, or not understanding him etc.
I don't want to keep his circle of friends, the house where we live (which only brings sad memories now).I would rather be poor but not treated like that. And for financial security, I am looking for a job. And I am very far from retirement (20 years), so I still have time to build single, but decent life on my own with my child, without being mistreated, lied to etc.

I also strongly doubt that cheating husbands seriously plan to spend retirement with the wives. They most often divorce you, once kids are in college. And then you will really feel being "used"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sending a letter like that makes YOU look crazy.

Completely depends on the tone.

Wrong. I have gotten one of these letters when I had broken it off when an ex-fiancee to say he had been cheating on me for more than a year. The tone was nice "women sticking out for women" bull. I was really angry. I would have preferred not to get such a letter. I was very upset someone thought they had the right to but into my life. People should mind their own business. No one has any idea what goes on in someone's relationship and they have no right to "out" anyone. It is not their business. Despite her nice tone, I thought the woman was a nutcase.

I think in this situation when the marriages have been over 20 years in length and there are children involved on both sides, it's VERY DIFFERENT than a person you weren't even married to yet. You cannot begin to understand the ramifications of the cheater's actions.

NP. I think this is all the more reason NOT to tell. I'm currently divorcing DH bc I found out he cheated. I'm losing everything -- friends, family, financial security, companionship, my home. I would've rather stayed ignorant, and that's not up for debate.

Cheating husband is no longer a companion. You are loosing his friends, his family. As to financial security, you should have always thought that nothing is forever. I've made the same mistake when I became SAHM. I am young enough luckily to rebuild.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s so typical to blame the women who sent the letter. How about you be pissed at your cheating partner. You can marry the cheater fiancé or stay with your husband the other women isn’t stopping you.

These are cheaters disguised as women urging OP not to send the letter.

Nobody else in their right mind would be okay with being exposed to countless STDs and the rusk of spouse knocking someone else up or falling in love with them.

I wish somebody had told me three years ago.

[Anonymous]

I have a great retirement, great job and aged health benefits. I would not lose my friends, nor my family.

I wouldn’t want to stay in a situation where I could catch an STD or spouse was putting time and energy (not to mention his d@ck) in another woman. ThTs disgusting.

Any woman willing to accept that (as well as the other woman) have poor self esteem or, unfortunately, didn’t heed what my parents told me growing up “always have your own income because you never can know what will happen in life”. Thanks Mom and Dad!

[Anonymous]

Well, first of all (falling this story), she’s telling a MAN who has the JOB. The cheating other woman that never worked is the one that stands to lose everything in this situation not him. She had some balls bringing men into the home he paid for and supported her lazy ass for 25 years.

I can’t say I feel sorry for that harlot.

[Anonymous]

The thing is, you’re doing it to hurt the other woman, not to help her husband, so don’t pretend it’s about him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, you’re doing it to hurt the other woman, not to help her husband, so don’t pretend it’s about him.

She should hurt her. The other woman knowingly helped destroyed her life with zero remorse.

[Anonymous]

If it’s so bad, why hasn’t OP left her husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sending a letter like that makes YOU look crazy.

Completely depends on the tone.

Wrong. I have gotten one of these letters when I had broken it off when an ex-fiancee to say he had been cheating on me for more than a year. The tone was nice "women sticking out for women" bull. I was really angry. I would have preferred not to get such a letter. I was very upset someone thought they had the right to but into my life. People should mind their own business. No one has any idea what goes on in someone's relationship and they have no right to "out" anyone. It is not their business. Despite her nice tone, I thought the woman was a nutcase.

I think in this situation when the marriages have been over 20 years in length and there are children involved on both sides, it's VERY DIFFERENT than a person you weren't even married to yet. You cannot begin to understand the ramifications of the cheater's actions.

NP. I think this is all the more reason NOT to tell. I'm currently divorcing DH bc I found out he cheated. I'm losing everything -- friends, family, financial security, companionship, my home. I would've rather stayed ignorant, and that's not up for debate.

I was waiting for someone to post this. What the heck am I supposed to do if I find out my spouse cheated? Throw away my house, my social circle, my retirement dreams, seeing the kids and soon to be grandkids on holidays. Over sex? I can't unhear that. Super selfish for some other woman to make that decision for me and my family.

The woman is just giving you information. She is not telling you how to react to it or what to fo about it.

[Anonymous]

Send it anonymously. Be brief and matter of fact. Most people want to know. Catching a cheater can be difficult and expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a great retirement, great job and aged health benefits. I would not lose my friends, nor my family.

I wouldn’t want to stay in a situation where I could catch an STD or spouse was putting time and energy (not to mention his d@ck) in another woman. ThTs disgusting.

Any woman willing to accept that (as well as the other woman) have poor self esteem or, unfortunately, didn’t heed what my parents told me growing up “always have your own income because you never can know what will happen in life”. Thanks Mom and Dad!

Well, let's hope you get cheated on so you can show us all how SMART you are!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sending a letter like that makes YOU look crazy.

Completely depends on the tone.

Wrong. I have gotten one of these letters when I had broken it off when an ex-fiancee to say he had been cheating on me for more than a year. The tone was nice "women sticking out for women" bull. I was really angry. I would have preferred not to get such a letter. I was very upset someone thought they had the right to but into my life. People should mind their own business. No one has any idea what goes on in someone's relationship and they have no right to "out" anyone. It is not their business. Despite her nice tone, I thought the woman was a nutcase.

I think in this situation when the marriages have been over 20 years in length and there are children involved on both sides, it's VERY DIFFERENT than a person you weren't even married to yet. You cannot begin to understand the ramifications of the cheater's actions.

NP. I think this is all the more reason NOT to tell. I'm currently divorcing DH bc I found out he cheated. I'm losing everything -- friends, family, financial security, companionship, my home. I would've rather stayed ignorant, and that's not up for debate.

I was waiting for someone to post this. What the heck am I supposed to do if I find out my spouse cheated? Throw away my house, my social circle, my retirement dreams, seeing the kids and soon to be grandkids on holidays. Over sex? I can't unhear that. Super selfish for some other woman to make that decision for me and my family.

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