Would you allow your 16 year old daughter to wear one of those almost thong swimsuits?

[Anonymous]

Creepy old dude here. Yes let her wear what she wants.

[Anonymous]

I’d let her, but would make her pick another option if she was going to be wearing a suit around extended family, or if it was somehow school or work related swimming (like a sports team meet up). But with friends or just the immediate family, not the hill I choose to die on.

I might try to suggest other options as more flattering if that style didn’t suit her body but it does - when else in your life are you 110 lb and nothing jiggles or sags but in your late teens? If it wasn’t the current fashion cut it might appear looking for attention to seek out this cut but it’s so common I don’t worry too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d let her, but would make her pick another option if she was going to be wearing a suit around extended family, or if it was somehow school or work related swimming (like a sports team meet up). But with friends or just the immediate family, not the hill I choose to die on.

I might try to suggest other options as more flattering if that style didn’t suit her body but it does - when else in your life are you 110 lb and nothing jiggles or sags but in your late teens? If it wasn’t the current fashion cut it might appear looking for attention to seek out this cut but it’s so common I don’t worry too much.

The only other thing I would tell her is that if she's planning on boogie boarding, or body surfing or anything sporty in the water, she may want to wear a different suit. But that's practical in nature. Not because the other suits have anything wrong with them

[Anonymous]

Half the Olympians need to cover up. Well over half. I would allow it in a minute unless it doesn't look good on her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my daughter that we should get matching suits and wear them together to the pool. /s

lol!

that might do the trick.

but otherwise i'm tired of seeing so many butts out. and then the shared pool chairs....shudder...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While visiting my husband's brother's family this summer, we went to the beach and their 16 year old daughter and her friends wore those bikini's that aren't quite thongs, but about 3/4 of their butt cheeks were hanging out. I'm shocked that DH brother and wife allow her to wear a swimsuit like that, but I kept my mouth shut. My daughters are a bit younger, but is this the kind of swimsuit that most high school girls wear now?

I mean, I told her that while she might like the attention from boys her age to know that men her friends’ age will also be ogling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I would not. Yes, I am old. No, I do not care what her friends with questionable parents are allowing.

Same. My DS and DD, both have been raised with boundaries, manners and common sense.

- Not a White parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Creepy old dude here. Yes let her wear what she wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I would not. Yes, I am old. No, I do not care what her friends with questionable parents are allowing.

Same. My DS and DD, both have been raised with boundaries, manners and common sense.

- Not a White parent.

Raising my kids the same.

- White parent (not sure why you think this matters)

[Anonymous]

Years ago my ILs staged an intervention of sorts with our then 19 DD - just after a beach trip together where DD wore a “cheeky” style bikini, they called her to advise that should she ever join them again on another beach vacation, she would not be allowed to wear something that abbreviated ever again. MIL insisted that DD’s choice was “disrespectful, unflattering & embarrassing” (particularly for FIL).

This conversation forever changed DD’s relationship with her grandparents. She never joined them again on another beach vacation. Shortly thereafter, MIL also passively aggressively asked DD if her new depression diagnosis was related to her noticeable weight gain. That was the last straw. DD was body shamed for the last time and now has a cordial, distant relationship with infrequent contact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Years ago my ILs staged an intervention of sorts with our then 19 DD - just after a beach trip together where DD wore a “cheeky” style bikini, they called her to advise that should she ever join them again on another beach vacation, she would not be allowed to wear something that abbreviated ever again. MIL insisted that DD’s choice was “disrespectful, unflattering & embarrassing” (particularly for FIL).

This conversation forever changed DD’s relationship with her grandparents. She never joined them again on another beach vacation. Shortly thereafter, MIL also passively aggressively asked DD if her new depression diagnosis was related to her noticeable weight gain. That was the last straw. DD was body shamed for the last time and now has a cordial, distant relationship with infrequent contact.

I mean… it IS absolutely rude and disrespectful to prance around with your naked a$$ hanging out on a FAMILY vacation with your freaking GRANDPARENTS. Pointing out what *should* be obvious is not disrespectful. You (and your spouse) should be embarrassed that you raised a kid so lacking in basic manners and common sense.

Criticism about weight gain is a different subject. But you know that.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe so many of you are cool with daughters wearing those bathing suits.

It looks trashy. Another point is a teenager might look okay in them, but why would you be okay with every male 10-99 ogling your DD's behind? The look is designed to get guys to look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe so many of you are cool with daughters wearing those bathing suits.

It looks trashy. Another point is a teenager might look okay in them, but why would you be okay with every male 10-99 ogling your DD's behind? The look is designed to get guys to look.

It’s not that we’re cool with it. It’s that when your strong, smart, confident , beautiful 17 year old DD tells you “stop slut shaming” her friends when you casually comment on what you think are outlandish fashion choices of her peers, you realize SHE’s RIGHT. I should mind my own business largely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I would not. Yes, I am old. No, I do not care what her friends with questionable parents are allowing.

Same. My DS and DD, both have been raised with boundaries, manners and common sense.

- Not a White parent.

Raising my kids the same.

- White parent (not sure why you think this matters)

It’s called shame.

Enjoy the therapy

[Anonymous]

No, more coverage.