Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fathers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

Fathers - How many sex partners would you want your son to have prior to marriage?

I'd guess that, if these were the questions, the answer to the fist alternative question would probably be fewer than the original one, and the answer to the second alternative question would be surely much higher.

No, my answer to both would be exactly the same: range of 2-8, and start at 17ish.

[Anonymous]

Preferably one, the individual she will marry. 17 pages on this particular topic is just ridiculous

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men and women are different sexually.
Men wake up everyday full of testosterone with millions of sperm ready to make babies everyday.
Women have one precious egg a month. For 1 week a month they will have all the feel good hormones kicking in telling them all is right with the world, they will feel very sexually aroused when they are ovulating and the body tells them go have sex now. If the egg is not fertilized then the hormones start to fall and the yucky pms ones set in. Now a woman feels less happy with the world. The body is saying"I didn't get pregnant so get away from me now you (man) are not needed this week." Then a woman bleeds, it is like a period of mourning and the hormones settle down. It all starts again the next month. All of these hormones effect how men and women bond with each other. We use are intellect and the "norms" of society to overcome our differences. BC pills do alter how a woman feels. But I think any mother needs to tell her daughter why she may have different emotional feelings than a man when it comes to sex and why she feels differently during different weeks in the month.

This is an honest answer from an honest woman.Men and women are not the same. people!!

Assuming this is accurate - which it isn't in my experience, FYI - what on earth does this have to do with how many sexual partners men/women "should" have? Gag on the "precious egg" bit. please don't glorify my ovaries. It's creepy.

I am the OP but not the PP in this original quote here. Because the outcomes are so vastly different.Male and female have sex. Male walks away and is never seen again. Female is pregnant for 9 months and has child to care for for 18 years+. Male could never think about it ever again. See how sex is different? And yes, we have found ways to reduce this in current times - but the emotional hard wiring that protects/motivates both genders in this experience still remains and can't be evolved away in two generations.

The reproductive cost for women is exponentially higher biologically, emotionally and socially than for men. This forum is full of women who have left their careers to stay at home for their babies, and those who are working struggling with the challenges of motherhood and childcare. So the whole SAHM and WOHM debate happens because biologically the women are having babies and their brain chemistry which is determining their bonding with their infants,

Can my daughter have sex with men with the same detachment that men have sex with women? Even with condoms and pills - can she be untouched emotionally, compartmentalize sex and carry on with her goals and career? If she can't - then she has no business to have sex unless she is looking for a partner - in that case in her 20s.

Is it healthy to try and overcome the natural instincts and feelings that you lay out there? Just so she can have a new penis inside of her temporarily?

Her natural instinct would be to care deeply for a male, marry him and have children with him, with some reasonable assurance that he will be a good husband and an even better father. She and her husband (or would be husband) would hopefully find sex pleasurable, fulfilling and reinforce their bonding. There is a very big chance that some relationships before marriage may not work out and there will be some heartbreak too. But her instincts would always be to find the "one".

So all this bullshit about women wanting multiple sex partners seem to me to serve the male agenda more than the female. Multiple partners may happen but mainly because relationships do not work out.

She can have a new partner temporarily, just for the fun of it, only if she can behave like a man and have no emotional and psychological impact from this coupling. Since this would be unnatural, unhealthy and distressing to her, she needs to be careful about jumping on the "everybody-have-indiscriminate-sex" bandwagon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men and women are different sexually.
Men wake up everyday full of testosterone with millions of sperm ready to make babies everyday.
Women have one precious egg a month. For 1 week a month they will have all the feel good hormones kicking in telling them all is right with the world, they will feel very sexually aroused when they are ovulating and the body tells them go have sex now. If the egg is not fertilized then the hormones start to fall and the yucky pms ones set in. Now a woman feels less happy with the world. The body is saying"I didn't get pregnant so get away from me now you (man) are not needed this week." Then a woman bleeds, it is like a period of mourning and the hormones settle down. It all starts again the next month. All of these hormones effect how men and women bond with each other. We use are intellect and the "norms" of society to overcome our differences. BC pills do alter how a woman feels. But I think any mother needs to tell her daughter why she may have different emotional feelings than a man when it comes to sex and why she feels differently during different weeks in the month.

This is an honest answer from an honest woman.Men and women are not the same. people!!

Assuming this is accurate - which it isn't in my experience, FYI - what on earth does this have to do with how many sexual partners men/women "should" have? Gag on the "precious egg" bit. please don't glorify my ovaries. It's creepy.

I am the OP but not the PP in this original quote here. Because the outcomes are so vastly different.Male and female have sex. Male walks away and is never seen again. Female is pregnant for 9 months and has child to care for for 18 years+. Male could never think about it ever again. See how sex is different? And yes, we have found ways to reduce this in current times - but the emotional hard wiring that protects/motivates both genders in this experience still remains and can't be evolved away in two generations.

The reproductive cost for women is exponentially higher biologically, emotionally and socially than for men. This forum is full of women who have left their careers to stay at home for their babies, and those who are working struggling with the challenges of motherhood and childcare. So the whole SAHM and WOHM debate happens because biologically the women are having babies and their brain chemistry which is determining their bonding with their infants,

Can my daughter have sex with men with the same detachment that men have sex with women? Even with condoms and pills - can she be untouched emotionally, compartmentalize sex and carry on with her goals and career? If she can't - then she has no business to have sex unless she is looking for a partner - in that case in her 20s.

Is it healthy to try and overcome the natural instincts and feelings that you lay out there? Just so she can have a new penis inside of her temporarily?

Her natural instinct would be to care deeply for a male, marry him and have children with him, with some reasonable assurance that he will be a good husband and an even better father. She and her husband (or would be husband) would hopefully find sex pleasurable, fulfilling and reinforce their bonding. There is a very big chance that some relationships before marriage may not work out and there will be some heartbreak too. But her instincts would always be to find the "one".

So all this bullshit about women wanting multiple sex partners seem to me to serve the male agenda more than the female. Multiple partners may happen but mainly because relationships do not work out.

She can have a new partner temporarily, just for the fun of it, only if she can behave like a man and have no emotional and psychological impact from this coupling. Since this would be unnatural, unhealthy and distressing to her, she needs to be careful about jumping on the "everybody-have-indiscriminate-sex" bandwagon.

Many men can also not have sex without feeling bonded and emotionally connected. The movies portray men as only caring about the sex act but talk to lots of boys and young men and they are pining over women they want and are emotionally connected to but who have rejected them or are not interested. Lots of guys become emotionally invested in the women they sleep with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men and women are different sexually.
Men wake up everyday full of testosterone with millions of sperm ready to make babies everyday.
Women have one precious egg a month. For 1 week a month they will have all the feel good hormones kicking in telling them all is right with the world, they will feel very sexually aroused when they are ovulating and the body tells them go have sex now. If the egg is not fertilized then the hormones start to fall and the yucky pms ones set in. Now a woman feels less happy with the world. The body is saying"I didn't get pregnant so get away from me now you (man) are not needed this week." Then a woman bleeds, it is like a period of mourning and the hormones settle down. It all starts again the next month. All of these hormones effect how men and women bond with each other. We use are intellect and the "norms" of society to overcome our differences. BC pills do alter how a woman feels. But I think any mother needs to tell her daughter why she may have different emotional feelings than a man when it comes to sex and why she feels differently during different weeks in the month.

This is an honest answer from an honest woman.Men and women are not the same. people!!

Assuming this is accurate - which it isn't in my experience, FYI - what on earth does this have to do with how many sexual partners men/women "should" have? Gag on the "precious egg" bit. please don't glorify my ovaries. It's creepy.

I am the OP but not the PP in this original quote here. Because the outcomes are so vastly different.Male and female have sex. Male walks away and is never seen again. Female is pregnant for 9 months and has child to care for for 18 years+. Male could never think about it ever again. See how sex is different? And yes, we have found ways to reduce this in current times - but the emotional hard wiring that protects/motivates both genders in this experience still remains and can't be evolved away in two generations.

The reproductive cost for women is exponentially higher biologically, emotionally and socially than for men. This forum is full of women who have left their careers to stay at home for their babies, and those who are working struggling with the challenges of motherhood and childcare. So the whole SAHM and WOHM debate happens because biologically the women are having babies and their brain chemistry which is determining their bonding with their infants,

Can my daughter have sex with men with the same detachment that men have sex with women? Even with condoms and pills - can she be untouched emotionally, compartmentalize sex and carry on with her goals and career? If she can't - then she has no business to have sex unless she is looking for a partner - in that case in her 20s.

Is it healthy to try and overcome the natural instincts and feelings that you lay out there? Just so she can have a new penis inside of her temporarily?

Her natural instinct would be to care deeply for a male, marry him and have children with him, with some reasonable assurance that he will be a good husband and an even better father. She and her husband (or would be husband) would hopefully find sex pleasurable, fulfilling and reinforce their bonding. There is a very big chance that some relationships before marriage may not work out and there will be some heartbreak too. But her instincts would always be to find the "one".

So all this bullshit about women wanting multiple sex partners seem to me to serve the male agenda more than the female. Multiple partners may happen but mainly because relationships do not work out.

She can have a new partner temporarily, just for the fun of it, only if she can behave like a man and have no emotional and psychological impact from this coupling. Since this would be unnatural, unhealthy and distressing to her, she needs to be careful about jumping on the "everybody-have-indiscriminate-sex" bandwagon.

Many men can also not have sex without feeling bonded and emotionally connected. The movies portray men as only caring about the sex act but talk to lots of boys and young men and they are pining over women they want and are emotionally connected to but who have rejected them or are not interested. Lots of guys become emotionally invested in the women they sleep with.

Well, then I hope she finds a man like that. Considering her dad and I have just that kind of a relationship, I know there are men like that and I hope that we are a good example for her to follow.

For me it is not a morality question. I do not believe that a girl is a slut or promiscuous if she has multiple partners. I also think that modern science has taken care of the pregnancy aspect of it. I worry more about the emotional and psychological damage that being sexually involved with multiple partners can cause her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men and women are different sexually.
Men wake up everyday full of testosterone with millions of sperm ready to make babies everyday.
Women have one precious egg a month. For 1 week a month they will have all the feel good hormones kicking in telling them all is right with the world, they will feel very sexually aroused when they are ovulating and the body tells them go have sex now. If the egg is not fertilized then the hormones start to fall and the yucky pms ones set in. Now a woman feels less happy with the world. The body is saying"I didn't get pregnant so get away from me now you (man) are not needed this week." Then a woman bleeds, it is like a period of mourning and the hormones settle down. It all starts again the next month. All of these hormones effect how men and women bond with each other. We use are intellect and the "norms" of society to overcome our differences. BC pills do alter how a woman feels. But I think any mother needs to tell her daughter why she may have different emotional feelings than a man when it comes to sex and why she feels differently during different weeks in the month.

This is an honest answer from an honest woman.Men and women are not the same. people!!

Assuming this is accurate - which it isn't in my experience, FYI - what on earth does this have to do with how many sexual partners men/women "should" have? Gag on the "precious egg" bit. please don't glorify my ovaries. It's creepy.

I am the OP but not the PP in this original quote here. Because the outcomes are so vastly different.Male and female have sex. Male walks away and is never seen again. Female is pregnant for 9 months and has child to care for for 18 years+. Male could never think about it ever again. See how sex is different? And yes, we have found ways to reduce this in current times - but the emotional hard wiring that protects/motivates both genders in this experience still remains and can't be evolved away in two generations.

The reproductive cost for women is exponentially higher biologically, emotionally and socially than for men. This forum is full of women who have left their careers to stay at home for their babies, and those who are working struggling with the challenges of motherhood and childcare. So the whole SAHM and WOHM debate happens because biologically the women are having babies and their brain chemistry which is determining their bonding with their infants,

Can my daughter have sex with men with the same detachment that men have sex with women? Even with condoms and pills - can she be untouched emotionally, compartmentalize sex and carry on with her goals and career? If she can't - then she has no business to have sex unless she is looking for a partner - in that case in her 20s.

Is it healthy to try and overcome the natural instincts and feelings that you lay out there? Just so she can have a new penis inside of her temporarily?

Her natural instinct would be to care deeply for a male, marry him and have children with him, with some reasonable assurance that he will be a good husband and an even better father. She and her husband (or would be husband) would hopefully find sex pleasurable, fulfilling and reinforce their bonding. There is a very big chance that some relationships before marriage may not work out and there will be some heartbreak too. But her instincts would always be to find the "one".

So all this bullshit about women wanting multiple sex partners seem to me to serve the male agenda more than the female. Multiple partners may happen but mainly because relationships do not work out.

She can have a new partner temporarily, just for the fun of it, only if she can behave like a man and have no emotional and psychological impact from this coupling. Since this would be unnatural, unhealthy and distressing to her, she needs to be careful about jumping on the "everybody-have-indiscriminate-sex" bandwagon.

You are exactly right.

However, it is the women on here advocating for unlimited sex partners - arguing there is no impact for having high partner counts

I am a man, I think 7-10 partners is reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men and women are different sexually.
Men wake up everyday full of testosterone with millions of sperm ready to make babies everyday.
Women have one precious egg a month. For 1 week a month they will have all the feel good hormones kicking in telling them all is right with the world, they will feel very sexually aroused when they are ovulating and the body tells them go have sex now. If the egg is not fertilized then the hormones start to fall and the yucky pms ones set in. Now a woman feels less happy with the world. The body is saying"I didn't get pregnant so get away from me now you (man) are not needed this week." Then a woman bleeds, it is like a period of mourning and the hormones settle down. It all starts again the next month. All of these hormones effect how men and women bond with each other. We use are intellect and the "norms" of society to overcome our differences. BC pills do alter how a woman feels. But I think any mother needs to tell her daughter why she may have different emotional feelings than a man when it comes to sex and why she feels differently during different weeks in the month.

This is an honest answer from an honest woman.Men and women are not the same. people!!

Assuming this is accurate - which it isn't in my experience, FYI - what on earth does this have to do with how many sexual partners men/women "should" have? Gag on the "precious egg" bit. please don't glorify my ovaries. It's creepy.

I am the OP but not the PP in this original quote here. Because the outcomes are so vastly different.Male and female have sex. Male walks away and is never seen again. Female is pregnant for 9 months and has child to care for for 18 years+. Male could never think about it ever again. See how sex is different? And yes, we have found ways to reduce this in current times - but the emotional hard wiring that protects/motivates both genders in this experience still remains and can't be evolved away in two generations.

The reproductive cost for women is exponentially higher biologically, emotionally and socially than for men. This forum is full of women who have left their careers to stay at home for their babies, and those who are working struggling with the challenges of motherhood and childcare. So the whole SAHM and WOHM debate happens because biologically the women are having babies and their brain chemistry which is determining their bonding with their infants,

Can my daughter have sex with men with the same detachment that men have sex with women? Even with condoms and pills - can she be untouched emotionally, compartmentalize sex and carry on with her goals and career? If she can't - then she has no business to have sex unless she is looking for a partner - in that case in her 20s.

Is it healthy to try and overcome the natural instincts and feelings that you lay out there? Just so she can have a new penis inside of her temporarily?

Her natural instinct would be to care deeply for a male, marry him and have children with him, with some reasonable assurance that he will be a good husband and an even better father. She and her husband (or would be husband) would hopefully find sex pleasurable, fulfilling and reinforce their bonding. There is a very big chance that some relationships before marriage may not work out and there will be some heartbreak too. But her instincts would always be to find the "one".

So all this bullshit about women wanting multiple sex partners seem to me to serve the male agenda more than the female. Multiple partners may happen but mainly because relationships do not work out.

She can have a new partner temporarily, just for the fun of it, only if she can behave like a man and have no emotional and psychological impact from this coupling. Since this would be unnatural, unhealthy and distressing to her, she needs to be careful about jumping on the "everybody-have-indiscriminate-sex" bandwagon.

Many men can also not have sex without feeling bonded and emotionally connected. The movies portray men as only caring about the sex act but talk to lots of boys and young men and they are pining over women they want and are emotionally connected to but who have rejected them or are not interested. Lots of guys become emotionally invested in the women they sleep with.

Well, then I hope she finds a man like that. Considering her dad and I have just that kind of a relationship, I know there are men like that and I hope that we are a good example for her to follow.

For me it is not a morality question. I do not believe that a girl is a slut or promiscuous if she has multiple partners. I also think that modern science has taken care of the pregnancy aspect of it. I worry more about the emotional and psychological damage that being sexually involved with multiple partners can cause her.

"morality" is largely norms and regulations which have grown out of real needs. like, its immoral to steal. we need people not to steal from each other because we need a stable society. yet, stealing from each other is really no different than stealing from other animals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mothers: How many sex partners would you want your daughters to have prior to marriage?

How many is too many? Is there too many? At what age should they start having sex?

Honestly - what advice would you give your daughter if she asked you for it and insisted on you giving her a concrete number?

If my daughter insisted on me giving her a number, I would think we had some kind of fundamental disconnect and I would wonder what's going on. I don't think I would give her a number.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mothers: How many sex partners would you want your daughters to have prior to marriage?

How many is too many? Is there too many? At what age should they start having sex?

Honestly - what advice would you give your daughter if she asked you for it and insisted on you giving her a concrete number?

If my daughter insisted on me giving her a number, I would think we had some kind of fundamental disconnect and I would wonder what's going on. I don't think I would give her a number.

It is a hypothetical exercise. Try to think of a real number. Force yourself.

[Anonymous]

"Many men can also not have sex without feeling bonded and emotionally connected. The movies portray men as only caring about the sex act but talk to lots of boys and young men and they are pining over women they want and are emotionally connected to but who have rejected them or are not interested. Lots of guys become emotionally invested in the women they sleep with."

Guy here. In my experience, that's true for a minority of men. Just sharing my experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Many men can also not have sex without feeling bonded and emotionally connected. The movies portray men as only caring about the sex act but talk to lots of boys and young men and they are pining over women they want and are emotionally connected to but who have rejected them or are not interested. Lots of guys become emotionally invested in the women they sleep with."

Guy here. In my experience, that's true for a minority of men. Just sharing my experience.

There are definitely guys that pine. They are usually the ones who have less experience or maybe even no experience.

Once guys get a few experiences under their belt they realize women are largely fungible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mothers: How many sex partners would you want your daughters to have prior to marriage?

How many is too many? Is there too many? At what age should they start having sex?

Honestly - what advice would you give your daughter if she asked you for it and insisted on you giving her a concrete number?

If my daughter insisted on me giving her a number, I would think we had some kind of fundamental disconnect and I would wonder what's going on. I don't think I would give her a number.

It is a hypothetical exercise. Try to think of a real number. Force yourself.

You seem Unhealthily obsessed with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Many men can also not have sex without feeling bonded and emotionally connected. The movies portray men as only caring about the sex act but talk to lots of boys and young men and they are pining over women they want and are emotionally connected to but who have rejected them or are not interested. Lots of guys become emotionally invested in the women they sleep with."

Guy here. In my experience, that's true for a minority of men. Just sharing my experience.

There are definitely guys that pine. They are usually the ones who have less experience or maybe even no experience.

Once guys get a few experiences under their belt they realize women are largely fungible.

Newsflash lover boy, men are largely fungible too. In fact, I think this is what is being debated. Women are just as sexual as men. Women don't need men to bankroll their existence and control their every move, to include how many partners they may have, etc...

[Anonymous]

One. The man she intends to marry. This worked out amazingly well for me. Married 12 years, amazing sex life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One. The man she intends to marry. This worked out amazingly well for me. Married 12 years, amazing sex life.

+ 1000

22 years and amazing sex life too.