How do you get an affair/relationship started with another married person?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For all those hatters posting on this thread, come on. Why are you reading it if it disgusts you so much? Why are you searching the relationship forum?

Everyone in life is damaged in some way. We all have our insecurities. If a manipulative SOB figures out your insecurities and builds you up so you feel good about yourself, then even you would have the affair. After all, who wouldn't want to believe the BS the seducer feeds you and feel good about themselves?

If you don't think you would, you probably have not lived long enough to experience much in life or you are a saint.

No, not haters or saints--but people trying to live as kind, caring, and moral human beings.

[Anonymous]

OP -

Just curious, are you a man or a woman?

After reading this very interesting thread, I got to thinking that men and women must use different techniques if they are trying to seduce someone of the opposite sex. Men and women also have different ideas of what will work on them.

Women on this thread have greatly inputted what works to seduce them, but what if a woman wants to seduce a man? How does she realistically do that? After all men are not always the chasers. Sometimes the woman is the one going after the man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP -

Just curious, are you a man or a woman?

After reading this very interesting thread, I got to thinking that men and women must use different techniques if they are trying to seduce someone of the opposite sex. Men and women also have different ideas of what will work on them.

Women on this thread have greatly inputted what works to seduce them, but what if a woman wants to seduce a man? How does she realistically do that? After all men are not always the chasers. Sometimes the woman is the one going after the man.

im a man.

im not rico suave though so i havent been the one giving advice or anything.

and i would think a woman would be hesitant in a work environment to seduce someone at the office. especially a married man, even if they are married. thats just my guess.

thats why i started the thread to sort of get an idea of the thoughts of both sides

[Anonymous]

It would be stupid for anyone to seduce a married person in a work environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP -

Just curious, are you a man or a woman?

After reading this very interesting thread, I got to thinking that men and women must use different techniques if they are trying to seduce someone of the opposite sex. Men and women also have different ideas of what will work on them.

Women on this thread have greatly inputted what works to seduce them, but what if a woman wants to seduce a man? How does she realistically do that? After all men are not always the chasers. Sometimes the woman is the one going after the man.

im a man.

im not rico suave though so i havent been the one giving advice or anything.

and i would think a woman would be hesitant in a work environment to seduce someone at the office. especially a married man, even if they are married. thats just my guess.

thats why i started the thread to sort of get an idea of the thoughts of both sides

I am a married woman and I have been interested in an affair with married men. I think women are more subtle then men when they are interested. The sticky situation for a woman is the fine line of not being too subtle that the man doesn't get your point or too bold that the man is turned off because you seem too needy, aggressive, etc.

The first thing a woman does if she wants to attract a man is wear outfits that makes her look good (in work place, not too sexy to be unprofessional, but flattering enough to get a man's attention). If she needs to loose a few pounds, she will start dieting and exercising more to improve her appearance and desirability. She may change her hair, get manicures, etc. to present herself in the best light as possible.

After all this, the woman will begin to interact more with her targeted man. Correct me if I am wrong, but I think men tend to be attracted to women who are easy to talk to and have personal self confidence. If I know a man is into a particular sport, I may use that as a topic of conversation to start up with. Once a man is comfortable with talking with you, I have been surprised as to what they reveal about themselves and their personal lives. Once the topic gets personal, if it swings to sexual topics, then man is hooked and affair can start.

OP - as a man, what do you think? Would this work on you?

[ThatSmileyFaceGuy]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP -

Just curious, are you a man or a woman?

After reading this very interesting thread, I got to thinking that men and women must use different techniques if they are trying to seduce someone of the opposite sex. Men and women also have different ideas of what will work on them.

Women on this thread have greatly inputted what works to seduce them, but what if a woman wants to seduce a man? How does she realistically do that? After all men are not always the chasers. Sometimes the woman is the one going after the man.

im a man.

im not rico suave though so i havent been the one giving advice or anything.

and i would think a woman would be hesitant in a work environment to seduce someone at the office. especially a married man, even if they are married. thats just my guess.

thats why i started the thread to sort of get an idea of the thoughts of both sides

I am a married woman and I have been interested in an affair with married men. I think women are more subtle then men when they are interested. The sticky situation for a woman is the fine line of not being too subtle that the man doesn't get your point or too bold that the man is turned off because you seem too needy, aggressive, etc.

The first thing a woman does if she wants to attract a man is wear outfits that makes her look good (in work place, not too sexy to be unprofessional, but flattering enough to get a man's attention). If she needs to loose a few pounds, she will start dieting and exercising more to improve her appearance and desirability. She may change her hair, get manicures, etc. to present herself in the best light as possible.

After all this, the woman will begin to interact more with her targeted man. Correct me if I am wrong, but I think men tend to be attracted to women who are easy to talk to and have personal self confidence. If I know a man is into a particular sport, I may use that as a topic of conversation to start up with. Once a man is comfortable with talking with you, I have been surprised as to what they reveal about themselves and their personal lives. Once the topic gets personal, if it swings to sexual topics, then man is hooked and affair can start.

OP - as a man, what do you think? Would this work on you?

Not the OP but yes your plan would work rather nicely. He still might not go for the affair, fear of getting caught is a powerful thing. But, he would be interested and think about you alot and maybe even masturbate to thought of time spent with you.

[Anonymous]

Is fear of getting caught the only reason you think the married man would turn the affair? No loyalty to the wife or anything?

[ThatSmileyFaceGuy]

If he was open to it but didn't then yes I do think it more fear than loyalty. If you are rebuffed from the beginning then loyalty comes into play

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it seems to me that these affairs just happen more than it being some calculated drawn out plan. correct me if im wrong please cause that is why i asked the question to start this thread.

so maybe there is innocent flirting that neither person realizes than it goes from there. maybe the serial cheaters figure out the right tricks to apply once they get their feet wet but for a first timer it "just happens"

at least thats my observation.

Here's my experience. I wasn't looking for an affair, but I was more receptive than I realized to one. When a coworker started flirting with me while on a business trip, he aroused my interest. When he sent me that glass of champagne across the room, it was over and I was his.

Really? You're that easy?!

I was thinking the same. I get hit on all the time and have no problem resisting.

Huh. I guess you're sexually satisfied at home.

[Anonymous]

I don't think being sexually satisfied has much to do with it. Maybe for one night stands, but not for drawn out affairs. Its usually something else you're looking for.

[Anonymous]

I have a long term "relationship" only for the sex. It started out as possibly more, but we are just way different people. I am generally happy being married to my husband, other than the sex and other than some normal marital issues such as workshare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP -

Just curious, are you a man or a woman?

After reading this very interesting thread, I got to thinking that men and women must use different techniques if they are trying to seduce someone of the opposite sex. Men and women also have different ideas of what will work on them.

Women on this thread have greatly inputted what works to seduce them, but what if a woman wants to seduce a man? How does she realistically do that? After all men are not always the chasers. Sometimes the woman is the one going after the man.

im a man.

im not rico suave though so i havent been the one giving advice or anything.

and i would think a woman would be hesitant in a work environment to seduce someone at the office. especially a married man, even if they are married. thats just my guess.

thats why i started the thread to sort of get an idea of the thoughts of both sides

I am a married woman and I have been interested in an affair with married men. I think women are more subtle then men when they are interested. The sticky situation for a woman is the fine line of not being too subtle that the man doesn't get your point or too bold that the man is turned off because you seem too needy, aggressive, etc.

The first thing a woman does if she wants to attract a man is wear outfits that makes her look good (in work place, not too sexy to be unprofessional, but flattering enough to get a man's attention). If she needs to loose a few pounds, she will start dieting and exercising more to improve her appearance and desirability. She may change her hair, get manicures, etc. to present herself in the best light as possible.

After all this, the woman will begin to interact more with her targeted man. Correct me if I am wrong, but I think men tend to be attracted to women who are easy to talk to and have personal self confidence. If I know a man is into a particular sport, I may use that as a topic of conversation to start up with. Once a man is comfortable with talking with you, I have been surprised as to what they reveal about themselves and their personal lives. Once the topic gets personal, if it swings to sexual topics, then man is hooked and affair can start.

OP - as a man, what do you think? Would this work on you?

Im the OP

Im big on subtle so your plan there is on point. if you got it you got it. i would think you already holding yourself together going the extra mile to lose an extra 5-10 pounds means nothing cause i probably already dismissed you to begin with.

and being easy to talk to is key. i think with me its more just feeling comfortable with you to where there is some flirting going on and open discussion about certain topics.

i think with me you almost have to eventually tell me you want me especially if its a work situation. im just not interested in ruining my professional reputation over some mixed signals.

your best bet with me is to get me at bar and some few drinks and you pretty much can see where things go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if you are a woman, remove top and say hi, if you are a man, its more complicated

Truest thing ever said on this site

[Anonymous]

I am a woman and I take issue with the above. We can't just remove our tops to indicate interest. It's just as complicated for women. One wrong move, without the ability to successfully back peddle, could be disastrous.

There are plenty of men, for a number of reasons, who aren't affair material but enjoy healthy flirting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman and I take issue with the above. We can't just remove our tops to indicate interest. It's just as complicated for women. One wrong move, without the ability to successfully back peddle, could be disastrous.

There are plenty of men, for a number of reasons, who aren't affair material but enjoy healthy flirting.

I agree. Seduction is a very subtle process for a married woman.