How do you get an affair/relationship started with another married person?

[Anonymous]

Wow, do any of you all give a shit for the people who would be betrayed by his/her spouse or significant other cheating? I know it sounds like all gun and games but if it were you in the other position, would you not be pissed?

Really, life is too short to be with someone you are not compatibl with. If you are having emotional or sexual problems, talk with your partner, and if nothing can come of it, then divorce, or be in an open marriage...but don't go out and treat your partner like a piece of shit to get some sexual needs met.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it seems to me that these affairs just happen more than it being some calculated drawn out plan. correct me if im wrong please cause that is why i asked the question to start this thread.

so maybe there is innocent flirting that neither person realizes than it goes from there. maybe the serial cheaters figure out the right tricks to apply once they get their feet wet but for a first timer it "just happens"

at least thats my observation.

Here's my experience. I wasn't looking for an affair, but I was more receptive than I realized to one. When a coworker started flirting with me while on a business trip, he aroused my interest. When he sent me that glass of champagne across the room, it was over and I was his.

Really? You're that easy?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, do any of you all give a shit for the people who would be betrayed by his/her spouse or significant other cheating? I know it sounds like all gun and games but if it were you in the other position, would you not be pissed?

Really, life is too short to be with someone you are not compatibl with. If you are having emotional or sexual problems, talk with your partner, and if nothing can come of it, then divorce, or be in an open marriage...but don't go out and treat your partner like a piece of shit to get some sexual needs met.

There are quite a few people posting here who seem to have no morals and don't worry about commitments, character, children, spouse's feelings, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it seems to me that these affairs just happen more than it being some calculated drawn out plan. correct me if im wrong please cause that is why i asked the question to start this thread.

so maybe there is innocent flirting that neither person realizes than it goes from there. maybe the serial cheaters figure out the right tricks to apply once they get their feet wet but for a first timer it "just happens"

at least thats my observation.

Here's my experience. I wasn't looking for an affair, but I was more receptive than I realized to one. When a coworker started flirting with me while on a business trip, he aroused my interest. When he sent me that glass of champagne across the room, it was over and I was his.

Really? You're that easy?!

I was thinking the same. I get hit on all the time and have no problem resisting.

[Anonymous]

She's not easy, actually; she didn't recognize that he put roofies in the bubbly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, do any of you all give a shit for the people who would be betrayed by his/her spouse or significant other cheating? I know it sounds like all gun and games but if it were you in the other position, would you not be pissed?

Really, life is too short to be with someone you are not compatibl with. If you are having emotional or sexual problems, talk with your partner, and if nothing can come of it, then divorce, or be in an open marriage...but don't go out and treat your partner like a piece of shit to get some sexual needs met.

I posted earlier but I respect all the cheaters on this thread. In fact, I respect people who just go out and cheat discretely more than those who fall into it and destroy their families.

Look, this is the first thread on DCUM which isn't about trying to beg your partner to change. Look at all the threads about sexless marriages and emotionally abusive ex husbands or overbearing MIL.

Don't you just get a bit sick of the doormats and the bores? I do. I'd rather hang out with the people on this thread. They are realists, they go for what they want and they enjoy life.

[Anonymous]

I got married really young, too young. I believed the fairy tale. I knew my husband would be a good provider and parent. I'm not sure if I truly was in love with him or liked the idea of being taken care of by someone who really loved me. Fast forward two decades later, my husband and I are not the same people. We have had major life challenges (including the loss of a child) that have changed us.

I am a honest and up front person. I did reach a point two years ago I asked my husband for a divorce so I find someone who enjoys me and I enjoy him. I realized life was far too short to not get want one truly desires, but I did not have any particular man in mind at the time that I was leaving my husband for. I just knew I was a good person and could do better than the situation I was in.

My husband at first was mad. Then took several days to think things over. When we sat down to talk about the situation like adults, he surprised me. He cried and begged me not to leave. I saw that he still loved me but I could not reciprocate the feeling. The one thing that we did agree on was that we did not want to raise our kids in separate households. My husband said as long as I did not rub it in his face or let people we know find out, I could have affairs if I needed to.

So that's our arrangement. I stayed for the sake of the kids (he is an A+ dad). After they go to college we may reconsider our situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got married really young, too young. I believed the fairy tale. I knew my husband would be a good provider and parent. I'm not sure if I truly was in love with him or liked the idea of being taken care of by someone who really loved me. Fast forward two decades later, my husband and I are not the same people. We have had major life challenges (including the loss of a child) that have changed us.

I am a honest and up front person. I did reach a point two years ago I asked my husband for a divorce so I find someone who enjoys me and I enjoy him. I realized life was far too short to not get want one truly desires, but I did not have any particular man in mind at the time that I was leaving my husband for. I just knew I was a good person and could do better than the situation I was in.

My husband at first was mad. Then took several days to think things over. When we sat down to talk about the situation like adults, he surprised me. He cried and begged me not to leave. I saw that he still loved me but I could not reciprocate the feeling. The one thing that we did agree on was that we did not want to raise our kids in separate households. My husband said as long as I did not rub it in his face or let people we know find out, I could have affairs if I needed to.

So that's our arrangement. I stayed for the sake of the kids (he is an A+ dad). After they go to college we may reconsider our situation.

There is a difference between what you are doing and what the people on this thread are wanting/are doing. Your husband knows about your affairs (btw, really, you should just divorce at this point if you can't reciprocate your feelings because it is really not fair to him and you both will be better off), and these posters are going behind their partners' backs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, do any of you all give a shit for the people who would be betrayed by his/her spouse or significant other cheating? I know it sounds like all gun and games but if it were you in the other position, would you not be pissed?

Really, life is too short to be with someone you are not compatibl with. If you are having emotional or sexual problems, talk with your partner, and if nothing can come of it, then divorce, or be in an open marriage...but don't go out and treat your partner like a piece of shit to get some sexual needs met.

I posted earlier but I respect all the cheaters on this thread. In fact, I respect people who just go out and cheat discretely more than those who fall into it and destroy their families.

Look, this is the first thread on DCUM which isn't about trying to beg your partner to change. Look at all the threads about sexless marriages and emotionally abusive ex husbands or overbearing MIL.

Don't you just get a bit sick of the doormats and the bores? I do. I'd rather hang out with the people on this thread. They are realists, they go for what they want and they enjoy life.

Enjoy life at the expense of their own selfishness. Why not discuss an arrangement if some are so horny and need to fuck? Don't disrespect your family and go behind sneaking around like a thief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married really young, too young. I believed the fairy tale. I knew my husband would be a good provider and parent. I'm not sure if I truly was in love with him or liked the idea of being taken care of by someone who really loved me. Fast forward two decades later, my husband and I are not the same people. We have had major life challenges (including the loss of a child) that have changed us.

I am a honest and up front person. I did reach a point two years ago I asked my husband for a divorce so I find someone who enjoys me and I enjoy him. I realized life was far too short to not get want one truly desires, but I did not have any particular man in mind at the time that I was leaving my husband for. I just knew I was a good person and could do better than the situation I was in.

My husband at first was mad. Then took several days to think things over. When we sat down to talk about the situation like adults, he surprised me. He cried and begged me not to leave. I saw that he still loved me but I could not reciprocate the feeling. The one thing that we did agree on was that we did not want to raise our kids in separate households. My husband said as long as I did not rub it in his face or let people we know find out, I could have affairs if I needed to.

So that's our arrangement. I stayed for the sake of the kids (he is an A+ dad). After they go to college we may reconsider our situation.

There is a difference between what you are doing and what the people on this thread are wanting/are doing. Your husband knows about your affairs (btw, really, you should just divorce at this point if you can't reciprocate your feelings because it is really not fair to him and you both will be better off), and these posters are going behind their partners' backs.

I guess I am willing to put my kids needs ahead of my own. They are happy and they benefit from having both of us around to raise them on an everyday basis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got married really young, too young. I believed the fairy tale. I knew my husband would be a good provider and parent. I'm not sure if I truly was in love with him or liked the idea of being taken care of by someone who really loved me. Fast forward two decades later, my husband and I are not the same people. We have had major life challenges (including the loss of a child) that have changed us.

I am a honest and up front person. I did reach a point two years ago I asked my husband for a divorce so I find someone who enjoys me and I enjoy him. I realized life was far too short to not get want one truly desires, but I did not have any particular man in mind at the time that I was leaving my husband for. I just knew I was a good person and could do better than the situation I was in.

My husband at first was mad. Then took several days to think things over. When we sat down to talk about the situation like adults, he surprised me. He cried and begged me not to leave. I saw that he still loved me but I could not reciprocate the feeling. The one thing that we did agree on was that we did not want to raise our kids in separate households. My husband said as long as I did not rub it in his face or let people we know find out, I could have affairs if I needed to.

So that's our arrangement. I stayed for the sake of the kids (he is an A+ dad). After they go to college we may reconsider our situation.

This is an honest relationship, both parties are getting what they want and no one has to lie and worry about hurt feelings. I wish my husband were like you PP. I have basically tols him that he can have a pass that all he has to do is ask but he prefers to sneak around. Unfortunately he is not smart enough to cover his tracks so far far is activities have been limited to cyber sex so I have pretended not to know. Luckily it has not affect our sex life so I will keep turning a blind eye until it starts affecting us or his relationships escalate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, do any of you all give a shit for the people who would be betrayed by his/her spouse or significant other cheating? I know it sounds like all gun and games but if it were you in the other position, would you not be pissed?

Really, life is too short to be with someone you are not compatibl with. If you are having emotional or sexual problems, talk with your partner, and if nothing can come of it, then divorce, or be in an open marriage...but don't go out and treat your partner like a piece of shit to get some sexual needs met.

I posted earlier but I respect all the cheaters on this thread. In fact, I respect people who just go out and cheat discretely more than those who fall into it and destroy their families.

Look, this is the first thread on DCUM which isn't about trying to beg your partner to change. Look at all the threads about sexless marriages and emotionally abusive ex husbands or overbearing MIL.

Don't you just get a bit sick of the doormats and the bores? I do. I'd rather hang out with the people on this thread. They are realists, they go for what they want and they enjoy life.

Enjoy life at the expense of their own selfishness. Why not discuss an arrangement if some are so horny and need to fuck? Don't disrespect your family and go behind sneaking around like a thief.

For the same reason that partners who don't want to have sex, still don't want an open marriage. They want their cake and to eat it too! Good on them!

[Anonymous]

For all those hatters posting on this thread, come on. Why are you reading it if it disgusts you so much? Why are you searching the relationship forum?

Everyone in life is damaged in some way. We all have our insecurities. If a manipulative SOB figures out your insecurities and builds you up so you feel good about yourself, then even you would have the affair. After all, who wouldn't want to believe the BS the seducer feeds you and feel good about themselves?

If you don't think you would, you probably have not lived long enough to experience much in life or you are a saint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For all those hatters posting on this thread, come on. Why are you reading it if it disgusts you so much? Why are you searching the relationship forum?

Everyone in life is damaged in some way. We all have our insecurities. If a manipulative SOB figures out your insecurities and builds you up so you feel good about yourself, then even you would have the affair. After all, who wouldn't want to believe the BS the seducer feeds you and feel good about themselves?

If you don't think you would, you probably have not lived long enough to experience much in life or you are a saint.

No, I like other couples I am sure, have had plenty of years of on this earth and am in a happy relationship that is HONEST. That's the big thing that confuses me...why not be honest about your needs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a book out Rico? Or at least a website with a lot of flashing testimonials, teasers, and autoresponders aimed at selling a very exclusive (and expensive) e-book? Because you should man if you don't.

http://www.rooshv.com/

As I stated earlier, I am a woman. Thanks for the link. Roosh's site is entertaining but his goal is rudimentary: to help men get the most sex possible. His contempt for women is palpable. The advice I gave is tailored to the high-achieving DCUM would-be seducer seeking an older 7/8. Anyone can get a woman into bed. But we all know that women of a certain age and social status reserve the most passionate sex for the men they believe truly understand and desire them.