How do you get an affair/relationship started with another married person?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP -

Just curious, are you a man or a woman?

After reading this very interesting thread, I got to thinking that men and women must use different techniques if they are trying to seduce someone of the opposite sex. Men and women also have different ideas of what will work on them.

Women on this thread have greatly inputted what works to seduce them, but what if a woman wants to seduce a man? How does she realistically do that? After all men are not always the chasers. Sometimes the woman is the one going after the man.

im a man.

im not rico suave though so i havent been the one giving advice or anything.

and i would think a woman would be hesitant in a work environment to seduce someone at the office. especially a married man, even if they are married. thats just my guess.

thats why i started the thread to sort of get an idea of the thoughts of both sides

I am a married woman and I have been interested in an affair with married men. I think women are more subtle then men when they are interested. The sticky situation for a woman is the fine line of not being too subtle that the man doesn't get your point or too bold that the man is turned off because you seem too needy, aggressive, etc.

The first thing a woman does if she wants to attract a man is wear outfits that makes her look good (in work place, not too sexy to be unprofessional, but flattering enough to get a man's attention). If she needs to loose a few pounds, she will start dieting and exercising more to improve her appearance and desirability. She may change her hair, get manicures, etc. to present herself in the best light as possible.

After all this, the woman will begin to interact more with her targeted man. Correct me if I am wrong, but I think men tend to be attracted to women who are easy to talk to and have personal self confidence. If I know a man is into a particular sport, I may use that as a topic of conversation to start up with. Once a man is comfortable with talking with you, I have been surprised as to what they reveal about themselves and their personal lives. Once the topic gets personal, if it swings to sexual topics, then man is hooked and affair can start.

OP - as a man, what do you think? Would this work on you?

Im the OP

Im big on subtle so your plan there is on point. if you got it you got it. i would think you already holding yourself together going the extra mile to lose an extra 5-10 pounds means nothing cause i probably already dismissed you to begin with.

and being easy to talk to is key. i think with me its more just feeling comfortable with you to where there is some flirting going on and open discussion about certain topics.

i think with me you almost have to eventually tell me you want me especially if its a work situation. im just not interested in ruining my professional reputation over some mixed signals.

your best bet with me is to get me at bar and some few drinks and you pretty much can see where things go.

See here is the rub. How does a woman tell you she wants you but has a way out if you reject her? After all, if interaction is between work colleagues, the woman doesn't want to put her career in jeopardy.

[Anonymous]

Keep in mind, too, that there are many people, both men and women, who have no intention to follow through on an affair, but want the validation that someone going so far as to ask to enter one can provide. Remember that this is the only way married people can get that validation, i.e., to have someone propose an affair. It is ultimately a form of teasing, one which many of the same people, were they still unmarried, would not (need to) engage in.

[Anonymous]

The thrill of the chase. Sometimes that is more fun than the actual affair.

I am a 41 year old woman. A 33 year old married man with two young children a few months ago started to send me signals. He was good looking and I was flattered but I warned him from the beginning that I could be very manipulative. I also advised him that he should be thinking about what he would be doing to his family. But young, naive man did not take the warning so I had some fun.

I must say he wasn't the first man to underestimate me. Men do it all the time and I use my looks and charm to my advantage in business negotiations, meetings, etc. Men are often so easy to manipulate if you look sexy enough but not slutty. Also, when you play someone, don't verge too far from the truth. Stick as close as possible but maybe not tell the whole story. Also, when manipulating someone, let them do most of the talking. You'll find tidbits of info. you may be able to use later.

It was a good stroke to my ego to have this man puppy salivating over me. I pretended to have a change of heart and let him pursue me thinking he was winning me over. He never even realized that I was controlling the strings because he thought he was seducing me. In the end, I did not follow through with the affair. I just wanted to send a warning lesson and get him sexually frustrated. It did cause some problems in his job and hopefully he won't do it again. The best part, he can't blame me for his problems.

I also had fun.

[Anonymous]

Boy I'm horny. Deal should go forward in 5 mins or less. It really isn't that hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thrill of the chase. Sometimes that is more fun than the actual affair.

I am a 41 year old woman. A 33 year old married man with two young children a few months ago started to send me signals. He was good looking and I was flattered but I warned him from the beginning that I could be very manipulative. I also advised him that he should be thinking about what he would be doing to his family. But young, naive man did not take the warning so I had some fun.

I must say he wasn't the first man to underestimate me. Men do it all the time and I use my looks and charm to my advantage in business negotiations, meetings, etc. Men are often so easy to manipulate if you look sexy enough but not slutty. Also, when you play someone, don't verge too far from the truth. Stick as close as possible but maybe not tell the whole story. Also, when manipulating someone, let them do most of the talking. You'll find tidbits of info. you may be able to use later.

It was a good stroke to my ego to have this man puppy salivating over me. I pretended to have a change of heart and let him pursue me thinking he was winning me over. He never even realized that I was controlling the strings because he thought he was seducing me. In the end, I did not follow through with the affair. I just wanted to send a warning lesson and get him sexually frustrated. It did cause some problems in his job and hopefully he won't do it again. The best part, he can't blame me for his problems.

I also had fun.

I suggest that you reread what you've written and think about how your words come across to others.

Stupidity, outrage, vanity, cruelty, iniquity, bad faith, falsehood - we fail to see the whole array when it is facing in the same direction as we.
Jean Rostand
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/vanity_3.html#vkhHj2ep05GW1cHR.99

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman and I take issue with the above. We can't just remove our tops to indicate interest. It's just as complicated for women. One wrong move, without the ability to successfully back peddle, could be disastrous.

There are plenty of men, for a number of reasons, who aren't affair material but enjoy healthy flirting.

I agree. Seduction is a very subtle process for a married woman.

Subtle indeed. Are you seducing me? Or shall I return the favor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thrill of the chase. Sometimes that is more fun than the actual affair.

I am a 41 year old woman. A 33 year old married man with two young children a few months ago started to send me signals. He was good looking and I was flattered but I warned him from the beginning that I could be very manipulative. I also advised him that he should be thinking about what he would be doing to his family. But young, naive man did not take the warning so I had some fun.

I must say he wasn't the first man to underestimate me. Men do it all the time and I use my looks and charm to my advantage in business negotiations, meetings, etc. Men are often so easy to manipulate if you look sexy enough but not slutty. Also, when you play someone, don't verge too far from the truth. Stick as close as possible but maybe not tell the whole story. Also, when manipulating someone, let them do most of the talking. You'll find tidbits of info. you may be able to use later.

It was a good stroke to my ego to have this man puppy salivating over me. I pretended to have a change of heart and let him pursue me thinking he was winning me over. He never even realized that I was controlling the strings because he thought he was seducing me. In the end, I did not follow through with the affair. I just wanted to send a warning lesson and get him sexually frustrated. It did cause some problems in his job and hopefully he won't do it again. The best part, he can't blame me for his problems.

I also had fun.

I suggest that you reread what you've written and think about how your words come across to others.

Stupidity, outrage, vanity, cruelty, iniquity, bad faith, falsehood - we fail to see the whole array when it is facing in the same direction as we.
Jean Rostand
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/vanity_3.html#vkhHj2ep05GW1cHR.99

I have no problems with what I did and wrote. He was the one who was prowling for an affair and I warned him up front in the beginning. In my opinion, he deserved what he got.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thrill of the chase. Sometimes that is more fun than the actual affair.

I am a 41 year old woman. A 33 year old married man with two young children a few months ago started to send me signals. He was good looking and I was flattered but I warned him from the beginning that I could be very manipulative. I also advised him that he should be thinking about what he would be doing to his family. But young, naive man did not take the warning so I had some fun.

I must say he wasn't the first man to underestimate me. Men do it all the time and I use my looks and charm to my advantage in business negotiations, meetings, etc. Men are often so easy to manipulate if you look sexy enough but not slutty. Also, when you play someone, don't verge too far from the truth. Stick as close as possible but maybe not tell the whole story. Also, when manipulating someone, let them do most of the talking. You'll find tidbits of info. you may be able to use later.

It was a good stroke to my ego to have this man puppy salivating over me. I pretended to have a change of heart and let him pursue me thinking he was winning me over. He never even realized that I was controlling the strings because he thought he was seducing me. In the end, I did not follow through with the affair. I just wanted to send a warning lesson and get him sexually frustrated. It did cause some problems in his job and hopefully he won't do it again. The best part, he can't blame me for his problems.

I also had fun.

I suggest that you reread what you've written and think about how your words come across to others.

Stupidity, outrage, vanity, cruelty, iniquity, bad faith, falsehood - we fail to see the whole array when it is facing in the same direction as we.
Jean Rostand
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/vanity_3.html#vkhHj2ep05GW1cHR.99

I have no problems with what I did and wrote. He was the one who was prowling for an affair and I warned him up front in the beginning. In my opinion, he deserved what he got.

Haven't you heard that two wrongs don't make a right? You are a real sicko. Very disturbing. Different PP here, btw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman and I take issue with the above. We can't just remove our tops to indicate interest. It's just as complicated for women. One wrong move, without the ability to successfully back peddle, could be disastrous.

There are plenty of men, for a number of reasons, who aren't affair material but enjoy healthy flirting.

I agree. Seduction is a very subtle process for a married woman.

Subtle indeed. Are you seducing me? Or shall I return the favor?

Are you saying I wasn't subtle? Ok, maybe not. And I suppose you could try but you must follows my rules...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thrill of the chase. Sometimes that is more fun than the actual affair.

I am a 41 year old woman. A 33 year old married man with two young children a few months ago started to send me signals. He was good looking and I was flattered but I warned him from the beginning that I could be very manipulative. I also advised him that he should be thinking about what he would be doing to his family. But young, naive man did not take the warning so I had some fun.

I must say he wasn't the first man to underestimate me. Men do it all the time and I use my looks and charm to my advantage in business negotiations, meetings, etc. Men are often so easy to manipulate if you look sexy enough but not slutty. Also, when you play someone, don't verge too far from the truth. Stick as close as possible but maybe not tell the whole story. Also, when manipulating someone, let them do most of the talking. You'll find tidbits of info. you may be able to use later.

It was a good stroke to my ego to have this man puppy salivating over me. I pretended to have a change of heart and let him pursue me thinking he was winning me over. He never even realized that I was controlling the strings because he thought he was seducing me. In the end, I did not follow through with the affair. I just wanted to send a warning lesson and get him sexually frustrated. It did cause some problems in his job and hopefully he won't do it again. The best part, he can't blame me for his problems.

I also had fun.

I suggest that you reread what you've written and think about how your words come across to others.

Stupidity, outrage, vanity, cruelty, iniquity, bad faith, falsehood - we fail to see the whole array when it is facing in the same direction as we.
Jean Rostand
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/vanity_3.html#vkhHj2ep05GW1cHR.99

I have no problems with what I did and wrote. He was the one who was prowling for an affair and I warned him up front in the beginning. In my opinion, he deserved what he got.

Haven't you heard that two wrongs don't make a right? You are a real sicko. Very disturbing. Different PP here, btw.

I'm more of an eye for an eye type person but thank you anyway for the compliment. I always thought men looking to cheat on their wives who have given them the biggest blessings in life were the sickos. They deserve to get caught so people know who they really are.

[Anonymous]

Married for a loooong time...had great marriage...alcoholism destroyed the respect, kindness, tenderness...was ready to do something about it when DH & I were in accident that rendered him partially paralyzed and impotent...we'd been engaging in threesome with good friend of mine who is single...then a little swinging...then the accident

I didn't want to break up marriage necessarily(3 kids, his physical condition after accident, lack of financial stability...) but I continued to have emotional and physical affair after the accident with single friend involved in threesome...DH found out (1500 text messages in less than 10 days between the two of us! yikes!)and went ballistic ..cuz he wasn't involved...I was cheating...called me out in front of 3 teen kids...

He's trying to repair...but, honestly, too little, too late... I am angry, bitter, resentful, and feel like I have a lot to offer someone else...
I continue to pursue my relationship with single male...(I have a "tracfone" that DH can't stalk) we say "no strings" but we both know we have emotional connections...he has new girlfriend...hard not to be jealous - sounds like an oxymoron, doesn't it?? But he's the "bad boy" with a heart that I've always wanted to be with

LIfe is messy...you never know when you're going to be involved in it's messiness

[Anonymous]

Wow. This is fascinating. Where / when should we all meet up?

[Anonymous]

June 23 8 PM District 2 Bar on Wisconsin Ave

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:June 23 8 PM District 2 Bar on Wisconsin Ave

I'm there!!!!

[Anonymous]

12:10 here...I am not a part of the DC area...but am fascinated by this forum and it's frankness...a place where I can be "myself"...I wish I did live in the DC area...think some of you would be PRETTY DAMNED interesting to meet (and perhaps *uck??