Boyfriend told me he'd leave if I'm infertile. I'm considering moving on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marrying someone with infertility issues is signing up for an expensive and stressful battle. Its a different thing if it happens but walking in knowing and on top of that if wife doesn't want children then you can imagine how difficult she would make his life with infertility process and afterwards with raising those kids. They aren't not married, better be honest and find partners who both want it.

OP didn't say she has fertility issues. She was shyte testing him. He didn't tell her what she wanted to hear.

OP hasn't even stated that she actually wants to have children. Or not. Biological or otherwise.

Further, she's trying to demonize him for honestly communicating with her in response to her question.

OP, you should have asked him the real question you had in mind--would he want to stay with you if you decided you wanted to not have children?

That's the real issue hear since OP does not say she is infertile.

OP knows he wants children, she isn't sure about that. Rather than just being honest with him that she isn't sure they are compatible because she isn't sure she wants children with him (perfectly fine of she wants to be child free by the way), she frames it so she can blame him for the end of the relationship rather than being truthful about her feelings on having children.

He is not bad or evil because he has different preferences than you do OP. Youre just incompatible--he is being honest with you, you not so much with him.

OP here:

You're pulling stuff out of your arse. I never said I didn't have children. I'm not shit testing him either. I just asked him a question and the answered revealed him as someone I'd not be comfortable dating. Not sure where you got the idea I'm unsure about kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marrying someone with infertility issues is signing up for an expensive and stressful battle. Its a different thing if it happens but walking in knowing and on top of that if wife doesn't want children then you can imagine how difficult she would make his life with infertility process and afterwards with raising those kids. They aren't not married, better be honest and find partners who both want it.

OP didn't say she has fertility issues. She was shyte testing him. He didn't tell her what she wanted to hear.

OP hasn't even stated that she actually wants to have children. Or not. Biological or otherwise.

Further, she's trying to demonize him for honestly communicating with her in response to her question.

OP, you should have asked him the real question you had in mind--would he want to stay with you if you decided you wanted to not have children?

That's the real issue hear since OP does not say she is infertile.

OP knows he wants children, she isn't sure about that. Rather than just being honest with him that she isn't sure they are compatible because she isn't sure she wants children with him (perfectly fine of she wants to be child free by the way), she frames it so she can blame him for the end of the relationship rather than being truthful about her feelings on having children.

He is not bad or evil because he has different preferences than you do OP. Youre just incompatible--he is being honest with you, you not so much with him.

OP here:

You're pulling stuff out of your arse. I never said I didn't have children. I'm not shit testing him either. I just asked him a question and the answered revealed him as someone I'd not be comfortable dating. Not sure where you got the idea I'm unsure about kids.

*want not "have".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems many posters here have some form of relationship PTSD and they see every man through their distorted lens, which is justified but it doesn't help posters seeking neutral advice.

You have that backwards, son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if OP would stay with someone who couldn't earn anymore or got impotent.

OP here. I would. I was previously in a relationship with a guy that did manual work and injured his back. He was unable to go back to his job and had to go to school for a career change. We broke up for unrelated reasond.

Oh really. What was the unrelated reason?

Sounds like that was a conditional relationship.

So, are you ready to tell us whether or not you want to have children with your current bf?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if OP would stay with someone who couldn't earn anymore or got impotent.

OP here. I would. I was previously in a relationship with a guy that did manual work and injured his back. He was unable to go back to his job and had to go to school for a career change. We broke up for unrelated reasond.

Oh really. What was the unrelated reason?

Sounds like that was a conditional relationship.

So, are you ready to tell us whether or not you want to have children with your current bf?

Sounds like she doesn't want to anymore!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marrying someone with infertility issues is signing up for an expensive and stressful battle. Its a different thing if it happens but walking in knowing and on top of that if wife doesn't want children then you can imagine how difficult she would make his life with infertility process and afterwards with raising those kids. They aren't not married, better be honest and find partners who both want it.

OP didn't say she has fertility issues. She was shyte testing him. He didn't tell her what she wanted to hear.

OP hasn't even stated that she actually wants to have children. Or not. Biological or otherwise.

Further, she's trying to demonize him for honestly communicating with her in response to her question.

OP, you should have asked him the real question you had in mind--would he want to stay with you if you decided you wanted to not have children?

That's the real issue hear since OP does not say she is infertile.

OP knows he wants children, she isn't sure about that. Rather than just being honest with him that she isn't sure they are compatible because she isn't sure she wants children with him (perfectly fine of she wants to be child free by the way), she frames it so she can blame him for the end of the relationship rather than being truthful about her feelings on having children.

He is not bad or evil because he has different preferences than you do OP. Youre just incompatible--he is being honest with you, you not so much with him.

OP here:

You're pulling stuff out of your arse. I never said I didn't have children. I'm not shit testing him either. I just asked him a question and the answered revealed him as someone I'd not be comfortable dating. Not sure where you got the idea I'm unsure about kids.

Did you tell him you wanted to have children with him, if you where physically able, or not? Look, what happened here is obvious--you wanted to get your bf to agree to a child free relationship under a hypothetical circumstance, infertility, because you're not really sure that you want to have children with him at all. That fine you don't have to have children if you don't want to.

But the purpose of trying to extract that concession from him was so that in the event you decide you don't really want to have children with him, you can accuse him of hypocrisy, because he was ready to accept a child free relationship if you should be infertile.

He answered your question honestly. He didn't cave into entertaining your hypothetical that he should accept a relationship with an infertile woman

I mean you could ask a thousand questions like that.

Would he love you and stay with you if you were terribly disfigured in a car accident?

Would he stay with you if you did have a child but developed terrible post partum depression?

Would he love you and stay with you if his long lost high school sweetheart reappeared on the scene and was available to be in a relationship with him again?

And so forth.

If you actually loved HIM, and wanted to absolutely have children and make a family with HIM, without any doubt, you wouldn't be asking questions like you did at all.

You really need to stop wasting your time in dead end relationships or stop sabotaging your relationships this way.

Why did you break up with that other guy you mentioned?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marrying someone with infertility issues is signing up for an expensive and stressful battle. Its a different thing if it happens but walking in knowing and on top of that if wife doesn't want children then you can imagine how difficult she would make his life with infertility process and afterwards with raising those kids. They aren't not married, better be honest and find partners who both want it.

OP didn't say she has fertility issues. She was shyte testing him. He didn't tell her what she wanted to hear.

OP hasn't even stated that she actually wants to have children. Or not. Biological or otherwise.

Further, she's trying to demonize him for honestly communicating with her in response to her question.

OP, you should have asked him the real question you had in mind--would he want to stay with you if you decided you wanted to not have children?

That's the real issue hear since OP does not say she is infertile.

OP knows he wants children, she isn't sure about that. Rather than just being honest with him that she isn't sure they are compatible because she isn't sure she wants children with him (perfectly fine of she wants to be child free by the way), she frames it so she can blame him for the end of the relationship rather than being truthful about her feelings on having children.

He is not bad or evil because he has different preferences than you do OP. Youre just incompatible--he is being honest with you, you not so much with him.

OP here:

You're pulling stuff out of your arse. I never said I didn't have children. I'm not shit testing him either. I just asked him a question and the answered revealed him as someone I'd not be comfortable dating. Not sure where you got the idea I'm unsure about kids.

Did you tell him you wanted to have children with him, if you where physically able, or not? Look, what happened here is obvious--you wanted to get your bf to agree to a child free relationship under a hypothetical circumstance, infertility, because you're not really sure that you want to have children with him at all. That fine you don't have to have children if you don't want to.

But the purpose of trying to extract that concession from him was so that in the event you decide you don't really want to have children with him, you can accuse him of hypocrisy, because he was ready to accept a child free relationship if you should be infertile.

He answered your question honestly. He didn't cave into entertaining your hypothetical that he should accept a relationship with an infertile woman

I mean you could ask a thousand questions like that.

Would he love you and stay with you if you were terribly disfigured in a car accident?

Would he stay with you if you did have a child but developed terrible post partum depression?

Would he love you and stay with you if his long lost high school sweetheart reappeared on the scene and was available to be in a relationship with him again?

And so forth.

If you actually loved HIM, and wanted to absolutely have children and make a family with HIM, without any doubt, you wouldn't be asking questions like you did at all.

You really need to stop wasting your time in dead end relationships or stop sabotaging your relationships this way.

Why did you break up with that other guy you mentioned?

Not OP. You desperately need therapy. This is super weird. You've made up an entire story based on no information and spent hours posting about how angry the made-up situation makes you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if OP would stay with someone who couldn't earn anymore or got impotent.

OP here. I would. I was previously in a relationship with a guy that did manual work and injured his back. He was unable to go back to his job and had to go to school for a career change. We broke up for unrelated reasond.

Unrelated to what? His back injury, his not being able to work, his going to school, or something having to.do with the decision to have it not have children? Why did you break up with him? Or did he initiate the breakup? The fact if the matter is you claim you stayed with him despite his job loss and inability to work. But then turned around and said you didn't stay with him. But the only relevant information you listed was his job loss and injury. Which you say was not relevant to the breakup. Why would anyone believe you if you don't say why the breakup happened?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marrying someone with infertility issues is signing up for an expensive and stressful battle. Its a different thing if it happens but walking in knowing and on top of that if wife doesn't want children then you can imagine how difficult she would make his life with infertility process and afterwards with raising those kids. They aren't not married, better be honest and find partners who both want it.

OP didn't say she has fertility issues. She was shyte testing him. He didn't tell her what she wanted to hear.

OP hasn't even stated that she actually wants to have children. Or not. Biological or otherwise.

Further, she's trying to demonize him for honestly communicating with her in response to her question.

OP, you should have asked him the real question you had in mind--would he want to stay with you if you decided you wanted to not have children?

That's the real issue hear since OP does not say she is infertile.

OP knows he wants children, she isn't sure about that. Rather than just being honest with him that she isn't sure they are compatible because she isn't sure she wants children with him (perfectly fine of she wants to be child free by the way), she frames it so she can blame him for the end of the relationship rather than being truthful about her feelings on having children.

He is not bad or evil because he has different preferences than you do OP. Youre just incompatible--he is being honest with you, you not so much with him.

OP here:

You're pulling stuff out of your arse. I never said I didn't have children. I'm not shit testing him either. I just asked him a question and the answered revealed him as someone I'd not be comfortable dating. Not sure where you got the idea I'm unsure about kids.

Did you tell him you wanted to have children with him, if you where physically able, or not? Look, what happened here is obvious--you wanted to get your bf to agree to a child free relationship under a hypothetical circumstance, infertility, because you're not really sure that you want to have children with him at all. That fine you don't have to have children if you don't want to.

But the purpose of trying to extract that concession from him was so that in the event you decide you don't really want to have children with him, you can accuse him of hypocrisy, because he was ready to accept a child free relationship if you should be infertile.

He answered your question honestly. He didn't cave into entertaining your hypothetical that he should accept a relationship with an infertile woman

I mean you could ask a thousand questions like that.

Would he love you and stay with you if you were terribly disfigured in a car accident?

Would he stay with you if you did have a child but developed terrible post partum depression?

Would he love you and stay with you if his long lost high school sweetheart reappeared on the scene and was available to be in a relationship with him again?

And so forth.

If you actually loved HIM, and wanted to absolutely have children and make a family with HIM, without any doubt, you wouldn't be asking questions like you did at all.

You really need to stop wasting your time in dead end relationships or stop sabotaging your relationships this way.

Why did you break up with that other guy you mentioned?

Not OP. You desperately need therapy. This is super weird. You've made up an entire story based on no information and spent hours posting about how angry the made-up situation makes you.

You must have missed OPs follow up post where she claims she didn't break up with her prior bf because of a job loss. But then turns around and says she broke up with him after he lost his job.. She doesn't say what the reason was but please trust her on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if OP would stay with someone who couldn't earn anymore or got impotent.

OP here. I would. I was previously in a relationship with a guy that did manual work and injured his back. He was unable to go back to his job and had to go to school for a career change. We broke up for unrelated reasond.

Oh really. What was the unrelated reason?

Sounds like that was a conditional relationship.

So, are you ready to tell us whether or not you want to have children with your current bf?

(and i'm all the way over in the corner here prayin' that he isn't referring to himself in the third person, run OP run)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marrying someone with infertility issues is signing up for an expensive and stressful battle. Its a different thing if it happens but walking in knowing and on top of that if wife doesn't want children then you can imagine how difficult she would make his life with infertility process and afterwards with raising those kids. They aren't not married, better be honest and find partners who both want it.

OP didn't say she has fertility issues. She was shyte testing him. He didn't tell her what she wanted to hear.

OP hasn't even stated that she actually wants to have children. Or not. Biological or otherwise.

Further, she's trying to demonize him for honestly communicating with her in response to her question.

OP, you should have asked him the real question you had in mind--would he want to stay with you if you decided you wanted to not have children?

That's the real issue hear since OP does not say she is infertile.

OP knows he wants children, she isn't sure about that. Rather than just being honest with him that she isn't sure they are compatible because she isn't sure she wants children with him (perfectly fine of she wants to be child free by the way), she frames it so she can blame him for the end of the relationship rather than being truthful about her feelings on having children.

He is not bad or evil because he has different preferences than you do OP. Youre just incompatible--he is being honest with you, you not so much with him.

OP here:

You're pulling stuff out of your arse. I never said I didn't have children. I'm not shit testing him either. I just asked him a question and the answered revealed him as someone I'd not be comfortable dating. Not sure where you got the idea I'm unsure about kids.

Did you tell him you wanted to have children with him, if you where physically able, or not? Look, what happened here is obvious--you wanted to get your bf to agree to a child free relationship under a hypothetical circumstance, infertility, because you're not really sure that you want to have children with him at all. That fine you don't have to have children if you don't want to.

But the purpose of trying to extract that concession from him was so that in the event you decide you don't really want to have children with him, you can accuse him of hypocrisy, because he was ready to accept a child free relationship if you should be infertile.

He answered your question honestly. He didn't cave into entertaining your hypothetical that he should accept a relationship with an infertile woman

I mean you could ask a thousand questions like that.

Would he love you and stay with you if you were terribly disfigured in a car accident?

Would he stay with you if you did have a child but developed terrible post partum depression?

Would he love you and stay with you if his long lost high school sweetheart reappeared on the scene and was available to be in a relationship with him again?

And so forth.

If you actually loved HIM, and wanted to absolutely have children and make a family with HIM, without any doubt, you wouldn't be asking questions like you did at all.

You really need to stop wasting your time in dead end relationships or stop sabotaging your relationships this way.

Why did you break up with that other guy you mentioned?

Not OP. You desperately need therapy. This is super weird. You've made up an entire story based on no information and spent hours posting about how angry the made-up situation makes you.

You must have missed OPs follow up post where she claims she didn't break up with her prior bf because of a job loss. But then turns around and says she broke up with him after he lost his job.. She doesn't say what the reason was but please trust her on this.

Don't worry, I read it. I expressed my concerns fully aware of that.

[Anonymous]

Appropros of nothing, sometimes a person (not specifying gender here) will come across another person (ditto), and -- I relate this appropros of nothing, of course -- get really really fixated on her, and lash out, and get weirdly specific and intrusive about the insults and the questions, and ...

... appropros of nothing, has anyone seen any bears around, because I think we'd all like to see a bear right about now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Appropros of nothing, sometimes a person (not specifying gender here) will come across another person (ditto), and -- I relate this appropros of nothing, of course -- get really really fixated on her, and lash out, and get weirdly specific and intrusive about the insults and the questions, and ...

... appropros of nothing, has anyone seen any bears around, because I think we'd all like to see a bear right about now

I think of s bear saw you it would be scared shit less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marrying someone with infertility issues is signing up for an expensive and stressful battle. Its a different thing if it happens but walking in knowing and on top of that if wife doesn't want children then you can imagine how difficult she would make his life with infertility process and afterwards with raising those kids. They aren't not married, better be honest and find partners who both want it.

OP didn't say she has fertility issues. She was shyte testing him. He didn't tell her what she wanted to hear.

OP hasn't even stated that she actually wants to have children. Or not. Biological or otherwise.

Further, she's trying to demonize him for honestly communicating with her in response to her question.

OP, you should have asked him the real question you had in mind--would he want to stay with you if you decided you wanted to not have children?

That's the real issue hear since OP does not say she is infertile.

OP knows he wants children, she isn't sure about that. Rather than just being honest with him that she isn't sure they are compatible because she isn't sure she wants children with him (perfectly fine of she wants to be child free by the way), she frames it so she can blame him for the end of the relationship rather than being truthful about her feelings on having children.

He is not bad or evil because he has different preferences than you do OP. Youre just incompatible--he is being honest with you, you not so much with him.

OP here:

You're pulling stuff out of your arse. I never said I didn't have children. I'm not shit testing him either. I just asked him a question and the answered revealed him as someone I'd not be comfortable dating. Not sure where you got the idea I'm unsure about kids.

Did you tell him you wanted to have children with him, if you where physically able, or not? Look, what happened here is obvious--you wanted to get your bf to agree to a child free relationship under a hypothetical circumstance, infertility, because you're not really sure that you want to have children with him at all. That fine you don't have to have children if you don't want to.

But the purpose of trying to extract that concession from him was so that in the event you decide you don't really want to have children with him, you can accuse him of hypocrisy, because he was ready to accept a child free relationship if you should be infertile.

He answered your question honestly. He didn't cave into entertaining your hypothetical that he should accept a relationship with an infertile woman

I mean you could ask a thousand questions like that.

Would he love you and stay with you if you were terribly disfigured in a car accident?

Would he stay with you if you did have a child but developed terrible post partum depression?

Would he love you and stay with you if his long lost high school sweetheart reappeared on the scene and was available to be in a relationship with him again?

And so forth.

If you actually loved HIM, and wanted to absolutely have children and make a family with HIM, without any doubt, you wouldn't be asking questions like you did at all.

You really need to stop wasting your time in dead end relationships or stop sabotaging your relationships this way.

Why did you break up with that other guy you mentioned?

Not OP. You desperately need therapy. This is super weird. You've made up an entire story based on no information and spent hours posting about how angry the made-up situation makes you.

You must have missed OPs follow up post where she claims she didn't break up with her prior bf because of a job loss. But then turns around and says she broke up with him after he lost his job.. She doesn't say what the reason was but please trust her on this.

Don't worry, I read it. I expressed my concerns fully aware of that.

OPs had two failed relationships she's admitted to, the current one(her fault) and the prior one (also likely Jer fault since she refuses to say why it failed). And no doubt a long string of prior failed relationships.

Coming to DCUM to be told it's not her fault, it's always the guys fault, won't help her to have a successful relationship in the future.

[Anonymous]

(OP, we'll cause a distraction while you run out the back door

someone anyone yell "feminism!" and throw out a picture of Andrew Tate on fire)