Boyfriend told me he'd leave if I'm infertile. I'm considering moving on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Appropros of nothing, sometimes a person (not specifying gender here) will come across another person (ditto), and -- I relate this appropros of nothing, of course -- get really really fixated on her, and lash out, and get weirdly specific and intrusive about the insults and the questions, and ...

... appropros of nothing, has anyone seen any bears around, because I think we'd all like to see a bear right about now

I think of s bear saw you it would be scared shit less.

Do .. do you have a dictionary, or a grammar book, or something? Maybe a link to Google translate?

how can we help you sir

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marrying someone with infertility issues is signing up for an expensive and stressful battle. Its a different thing if it happens but walking in knowing and on top of that if wife doesn't want children then you can imagine how difficult she would make his life with infertility process and afterwards with raising those kids. They aren't not married, better be honest and find partners who both want it.

OP didn't say she has fertility issues. She was shyte testing him. He didn't tell her what she wanted to hear.

OP hasn't even stated that she actually wants to have children. Or not. Biological or otherwise.

Further, she's trying to demonize him for honestly communicating with her in response to her question.

OP, you should have asked him the real question you had in mind--would he want to stay with you if you decided you wanted to not have children?

That's the real issue hear since OP does not say she is infertile.

OP knows he wants children, she isn't sure about that. Rather than just being honest with him that she isn't sure they are compatible because she isn't sure she wants children with him (perfectly fine of she wants to be child free by the way), she frames it so she can blame him for the end of the relationship rather than being truthful about her feelings on having children.

He is not bad or evil because he has different preferences than you do OP. Youre just incompatible--he is being honest with you, you not so much with him.

OP here:

You're pulling stuff out of your arse. I never said I didn't have children. I'm not shit testing him either. I just asked him a question and the answered revealed him as someone I'd not be comfortable dating. Not sure where you got the idea I'm unsure about kids.

Did you tell him you wanted to have children with him, if you where physically able, or not? Look, what happened here is obvious--you wanted to get your bf to agree to a child free relationship under a hypothetical circumstance, infertility, because you're not really sure that you want to have children with him at all. That fine you don't have to have children if you don't want to.

But the purpose of trying to extract that concession from him was so that in the event you decide you don't really want to have children with him, you can accuse him of hypocrisy, because he was ready to accept a child free relationship if you should be infertile.

He answered your question honestly. He didn't cave into entertaining your hypothetical that he should accept a relationship with an infertile woman

I mean you could ask a thousand questions like that.

Would he love you and stay with you if you were terribly disfigured in a car accident?

Would he stay with you if you did have a child but developed terrible post partum depression?

Would he love you and stay with you if his long lost high school sweetheart reappeared on the scene and was available to be in a relationship with him again?

And so forth.

If you actually loved HIM, and wanted to absolutely have children and make a family with HIM, without any doubt, you wouldn't be asking questions like you did at all.

You really need to stop wasting your time in dead end relationships or stop sabotaging your relationships this way.

Why did you break up with that other guy you mentioned?

Not OP. You desperately need therapy. This is super weird. You've made up an entire story based on no information and spent hours posting about how angry the made-up situation makes you.

You must have missed OPs follow up post where she claims she didn't break up with her prior bf because of a job loss. But then turns around and says she broke up with him after he lost his job.. She doesn't say what the reason was but please trust her on this.

Don't worry, I read it. I expressed my concerns fully aware of that.

OPs had two failed relationships she's admitted to, the current one(her fault) and the prior one (also likely Jer fault since she refuses to say why it failed). And no doubt a long string of prior failed relationships.

Coming to DCUM to be told it's not her fault, it's always the guys fault, won't help her to have a successful relationship in the future.

You're projecting your personal hatred toward and resentment of women onto OP and inventing details of her story to fit your own narrative. Take it to therapy.

[Anonymous]

I'd like to note that Op started a thread titled in part "I'm considering moving on" and with the first post noting, "While I recognize his right to pursue bio children" and ending "I feel uncomfortable ... and I'm leaning towards moving on."

So. That was what happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Appropros of nothing, sometimes a person (not specifying gender here) will come across another person (ditto), and -- I relate this appropros of nothing, of course -- get really really fixated on her, and lash out, and get weirdly specific and intrusive about the insults and the questions, and ...

... appropros of nothing, has anyone seen any bears around, because I think we'd all like to see a bear right about now

I think of s bear saw you it would be scared shit less.

Do .. do you have a dictionary, or a grammar book, or something? Maybe a link to Google translate?

how can we help you sir

Yeah I have a dictionary and I just looked up the word "harridan" and you'll never guess whose picture was next to it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marrying someone with infertility issues is signing up for an expensive and stressful battle. Its a different thing if it happens but walking in knowing and on top of that if wife doesn't want children then you can imagine how difficult she would make his life with infertility process and afterwards with raising those kids. They aren't not married, better be honest and find partners who both want it.

OP didn't say she has fertility issues. She was shyte testing him. He didn't tell her what she wanted to hear.

OP hasn't even stated that she actually wants to have children. Or not. Biological or otherwise.

Further, she's trying to demonize him for honestly communicating with her in response to her question.

OP, you should have asked him the real question you had in mind--would he want to stay with you if you decided you wanted to not have children?

That's the real issue hear since OP does not say she is infertile.

OP knows he wants children, she isn't sure about that. Rather than just being honest with him that she isn't sure they are compatible because she isn't sure she wants children with him (perfectly fine of she wants to be child free by the way), she frames it so she can blame him for the end of the relationship rather than being truthful about her feelings on having children.

He is not bad or evil because he has different preferences than you do OP. Youre just incompatible--he is being honest with you, you not so much with him.

OP here:

You're pulling stuff out of your arse. I never said I didn't have children. I'm not shit testing him either. I just asked him a question and the answered revealed him as someone I'd not be comfortable dating. Not sure where you got the idea I'm unsure about kids.

Did you tell him you wanted to have children with him, if you where physically able, or not? Look, what happened here is obvious--you wanted to get your bf to agree to a child free relationship under a hypothetical circumstance, infertility, because you're not really sure that you want to have children with him at all. That fine you don't have to have children if you don't want to.

But the purpose of trying to extract that concession from him was so that in the event you decide you don't really want to have children with him, you can accuse him of hypocrisy, because he was ready to accept a child free relationship if you should be infertile.

He answered your question honestly. He didn't cave into entertaining your hypothetical that he should accept a relationship with an infertile woman

I mean you could ask a thousand questions like that.

Would he love you and stay with you if you were terribly disfigured in a car accident?

Would he stay with you if you did have a child but developed terrible post partum depression?

Would he love you and stay with you if his long lost high school sweetheart reappeared on the scene and was available to be in a relationship with him again?

And so forth.

If you actually loved HIM, and wanted to absolutely have children and make a family with HIM, without any doubt, you wouldn't be asking questions like you did at all.

You really need to stop wasting your time in dead end relationships or stop sabotaging your relationships this way.

Why did you break up with that other guy you mentioned?

Not OP. You desperately need therapy. This is super weird. You've made up an entire story based on no information and spent hours posting about how angry the made-up situation makes you.

You must have missed OPs follow up post where she claims she didn't break up with her prior bf because of a job loss. But then turns around and says she broke up with him after he lost his job.. She doesn't say what the reason was but please trust her on this.

Don't worry, I read it. I expressed my concerns fully aware of that.

OPs had two failed relationships she's admitted to, the current one(her fault) and the prior one (also likely Jer fault since she refuses to say why it failed). And no doubt a long string of prior failed relationships.

Coming to DCUM to be told it's not her fault, it's always the guys fault, won't help her to have a successful relationship in the future.

You're projecting your personal hatred toward and resentment of women onto OP and inventing details of her story to fit your own narrative. Take it to therapy.

Nah not at all...How many times does OP have to faceplant her relationships before she acknowledges it's a her problem not a them problem? I suspect you've been there yourself. Probably still are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marrying someone with infertility issues is signing up for an expensive and stressful battle. Its a different thing if it happens but walking in knowing and on top of that if wife doesn't want children then you can imagine how difficult she would make his life with infertility process and afterwards with raising those kids. They aren't not married, better be honest and find partners who both want it.

OP didn't say she has fertility issues. She was shyte testing him. He didn't tell her what she wanted to hear.

OP hasn't even stated that she actually wants to have children. Or not. Biological or otherwise.

Further, she's trying to demonize him for honestly communicating with her in response to her question.

OP, you should have asked him the real question you had in mind--would he want to stay with you if you decided you wanted to not have children?

That's the real issue hear since OP does not say she is infertile.

OP knows he wants children, she isn't sure about that. Rather than just being honest with him that she isn't sure they are compatible because she isn't sure she wants children with him (perfectly fine of she wants to be child free by the way), she frames it so she can blame him for the end of the relationship rather than being truthful about her feelings on having children.

He is not bad or evil because he has different preferences than you do OP. Youre just incompatible--he is being honest with you, you not so much with him.

OP here:

You're pulling stuff out of your arse. I never said I didn't have children. I'm not shit testing him either. I just asked him a question and the answered revealed him as someone I'd not be comfortable dating. Not sure where you got the idea I'm unsure about kids.

Did you tell him you wanted to have children with him, if you where physically able, or not? Look, what happened here is obvious--you wanted to get your bf to agree to a child free relationship under a hypothetical circumstance, infertility, because you're not really sure that you want to have children with him at all. That fine you don't have to have children if you don't want to.

But the purpose of trying to extract that concession from him was so that in the event you decide you don't really want to have children with him, you can accuse him of hypocrisy, because he was ready to accept a child free relationship if you should be infertile.

He answered your question honestly. He didn't cave into entertaining your hypothetical that he should accept a relationship with an infertile woman

I mean you could ask a thousand questions like that.

Would he love you and stay with you if you were terribly disfigured in a car accident?

Would he stay with you if you did have a child but developed terrible post partum depression?

Would he love you and stay with you if his long lost high school sweetheart reappeared on the scene and was available to be in a relationship with him again?

And so forth.

If you actually loved HIM, and wanted to absolutely have children and make a family with HIM, without any doubt, you wouldn't be asking questions like you did at all.

You really need to stop wasting your time in dead end relationships or stop sabotaging your relationships this way.

Why did you break up with that other guy you mentioned?

Not OP. You desperately need therapy. This is super weird. You've made up an entire story based on no information and spent hours posting about how angry the made-up situation makes you.

You must have missed OPs follow up post where she claims she didn't break up with her prior bf because of a job loss. But then turns around and says she broke up with him after he lost his job.. She doesn't say what the reason was but please trust her on this.

Don't worry, I read it. I expressed my concerns fully aware of that.

OPs had two failed relationships she's admitted to, the current one(her fault) and the prior one (also likely Jer fault since she refuses to say why it failed). And no doubt a long string of prior failed relationships.

Coming to DCUM to be told it's not her fault, it's always the guys fault, won't help her to have a successful relationship in the future.

You're projecting your personal hatred toward and resentment of women onto OP and inventing details of her story to fit your own narrative. Take it to therapy.

Nah not at all...How many times does OP have to faceplant her relationships before she acknowledges it's a her problem not a them problem? I suspect you've been there yourself. Probably still are.

I'm a married lesbian. So further proof that you're projecting.

Move it along.

[Anonymous]

oh my god he called me a harridan

oh no, oh no, what do I do now laaaayyydieeees

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'd like to note that Op started a thread titled in part "I'm considering moving on" and with the first post noting, "While I recognize his right to pursue bio children" and ending "I feel uncomfortable ... and I'm leaning towards moving on."

So. That was what happened.

She acknowledged his right to have biological children but is uncomfortable with it. So he has to give up his rights because she's uncomfortable if he exercises them?

Is that how it works? People who have rights should give them up because it inconveniences other people? OK but you go first, tell me which rights you are going to give up to your relationship partner.

Waiting....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'd like to note that Op started a thread titled in part "I'm considering moving on" and with the first post noting, "While I recognize his right to pursue bio children" and ending "I feel uncomfortable ... and I'm leaning towards moving on."

So. That was what happened.

She acknowledged his right to have biological children but is uncomfortable with it. So he has to give up his rights because she's uncomfortable if he exercises them?

Is that how it works? People who have rights should give them up because it inconveniences other people? OK but you go first, tell me which rights you are going to give up to your relationship partner.

Waiting....

He has to give up his rights ... to prevent her from "moving on" from the relationship, like, you know, a free person?

Those rights?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marrying someone with infertility issues is signing up for an expensive and stressful battle. Its a different thing if it happens but walking in knowing and on top of that if wife doesn't want children then you can imagine how difficult she would make his life with infertility process and afterwards with raising those kids. They aren't not married, better be honest and find partners who both want it.

OP didn't say she has fertility issues. She was shyte testing him. He didn't tell her what she wanted to hear.

OP hasn't even stated that she actually wants to have children. Or not. Biological or otherwise.

Further, she's trying to demonize him for honestly communicating with her in response to her question.

OP, you should have asked him the real question you had in mind--would he want to stay with you if you decided you wanted to not have children?

That's the real issue hear since OP does not say she is infertile.

OP knows he wants children, she isn't sure about that. Rather than just being honest with him that she isn't sure they are compatible because she isn't sure she wants children with him (perfectly fine of she wants to be child free by the way), she frames it so she can blame him for the end of the relationship rather than being truthful about her feelings on having children.

He is not bad or evil because he has different preferences than you do OP. Youre just incompatible--he is being honest with you, you not so much with him.

OP here:

You're pulling stuff out of your arse. I never said I didn't have children. I'm not shit testing him either. I just asked him a question and the answered revealed him as someone I'd not be comfortable dating. Not sure where you got the idea I'm unsure about kids.

Did you tell him you wanted to have children with him, if you where physically able, or not? Look, what happened here is obvious--you wanted to get your bf to agree to a child free relationship under a hypothetical circumstance, infertility, because you're not really sure that you want to have children with him at all. That fine you don't have to have children if you don't want to.

But the purpose of trying to extract that concession from him was so that in the event you decide you don't really want to have children with him, you can accuse him of hypocrisy, because he was ready to accept a child free relationship if you should be infertile.

He answered your question honestly. He didn't cave into entertaining your hypothetical that he should accept a relationship with an infertile woman

I mean you could ask a thousand questions like that.

Would he love you and stay with you if you were terribly disfigured in a car accident?

Would he stay with you if you did have a child but developed terrible post partum depression?

Would he love you and stay with you if his long lost high school sweetheart reappeared on the scene and was available to be in a relationship with him again?

And so forth.

If you actually loved HIM, and wanted to absolutely have children and make a family with HIM, without any doubt, you wouldn't be asking questions like you did at all.

You really need to stop wasting your time in dead end relationships or stop sabotaging your relationships this way.

Why did you break up with that other guy you mentioned?

Not OP. You desperately need therapy. This is super weird. You've made up an entire story based on no information and spent hours posting about how angry the made-up situation makes you.

You must have missed OPs follow up post where she claims she didn't break up with her prior bf because of a job loss. But then turns around and says she broke up with him after he lost his job.. She doesn't say what the reason was but please trust her on this.

Don't worry, I read it. I expressed my concerns fully aware of that.

OPs had two failed relationships she's admitted to, the current one(her fault) and the prior one (also likely Jer fault since she refuses to say why it failed). And no doubt a long string of prior failed relationships.

Coming to DCUM to be told it's not her fault, it's always the guys fault, won't help her to have a successful relationship in the future.

You're projecting your personal hatred toward and resentment of women onto OP and inventing details of her story to fit your own narrative. Take it to therapy.

Nah not at all...How many times does OP have to faceplant her relationships before she acknowledges it's a her problem not a them problem? I suspect you've been there yourself. Probably still are.

I'm a married lesbian. So further proof that you're projecting.

Move it along.

LOL so a married lesbian wants to butt in to a thread involving a heterosexual couple concerning whether or not they should have biological children with each other and under what conditions.

Tell me, just how many bio children have you had with your spouse?

LOL DCUM you never fail in absurdity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'd like to note that Op started a thread titled in part "I'm considering moving on" and with the first post noting, "While I recognize his right to pursue bio children" and ending "I feel uncomfortable ... and I'm leaning towards moving on."

So. That was what happened.

She acknowledged his right to have biological children but is uncomfortable with it. So he has to give up his rights because she's uncomfortable if he exercises them?

Is that how it works? People who have rights should give them up because it inconveniences other people? OK but you go first, tell me which rights you are going to give up to your relationship partner.

Waiting....

He has to give up his rights ... to prevent her from "moving on" from the relationship, like, you know, a free person?

Those rights?

Who claimed he had a right to keep her from moving on?

[Anonymous]

oop, that bear looking pretty good right about now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'd like to note that Op started a thread titled in part "I'm considering moving on" and with the first post noting, "While I recognize his right to pursue bio children" and ending "I feel uncomfortable ... and I'm leaning towards moving on."

So. That was what happened.

She acknowledged his right to have biological children but is uncomfortable with it. So he has to give up his rights because she's uncomfortable if he exercises them?

Is that how it works? People who have rights should give them up because it inconveniences other people? OK but you go first, tell me which rights you are going to give up to your relationship partner.

Waiting....

He has to give up his rights ... to prevent her from "moving on" from the relationship, like, you know, a free person?

Those rights?

Who claimed he had a right to keep her from moving on?

What rights was he having to give up on, then, if she just moved on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
oh my god he called me a harridan

oh no, oh no, what do I do now laaaayyydieeees

Accept the compliment gracefully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'd like to note that Op started a thread titled in part "I'm considering moving on" and with the first post noting, "While I recognize his right to pursue bio children" and ending "I feel uncomfortable ... and I'm leaning towards moving on."

So. That was what happened.

She acknowledged his right to have biological children but is uncomfortable with it. So he has to give up his rights because she's uncomfortable if he exercises them?

Is that how it works? People who have rights should give them up because it inconveniences other people? OK but you go first, tell me which rights you are going to give up to your relationship partner.

Waiting....

He has to give up his rights ... to prevent her from "moving on" from the relationship, like, you know, a free person?

Those rights?

Who claimed he had a right to keep her from moving on?

She's not telling him he can't or shouldn't have kids. She even said she supported his desire to have bio kids, just that she was no wanting to stay with him.

So there's no rights he had to give up, at least unless he had a right to force her to have his kids?