Should grandma go to birthday party or visit with newborn?
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Anonymous
| Newborn. Not even close. |
Anonymous
# weeks is not early. She had a term baby and the baby and mom are healthy. And while the daughter had no control over when she gave birth. Insisting that the only day mom could visit the baby be the same day as the planned other grandchil's party especially after other recent manipulative behavior is in fact manipulation. Normal people as you say can see that. You can't because you are either a manipulator or a victim of someone ele's manipulation on a regular basis. |
Anonymous
Yikes. 😳😳😳 Hoo-boy. We’ve got a live one. |
Anonymous
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The way the OP states the relationship is strained between the grandma and the birth-mom is entirely unreliable, unless the grandmother is writing this, which it seems clear she is not.
Newborn visit is 100% the most sane choice here. |
Anonymous
You are correct. But this family has been doomed for a long time it started with grandma's favoritism that created a narcissistic and manipulative daughter. Birthday child's family is best to go no contact. |
Anonymous
No. And it's interesting that the people who repeat this are in this thread also the most abusive in their language. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
| OP, I'm sorry. But this is your sign to let your mom and sister go. Now their drama is impacting your child and your child does not deserve to grow up thinking they are 2nd place, like you did. Cut them off now while they are young before any real damage is done. |
Anonymous
Agreed |
Anonymous
Whaaaa this is such an over the top reaction |
Anonymous
The bolded - exactly. |
Anonymous
This is so absurd!!! Cutting off because your mom visited your sister who just gave birth early?! Dysfunction to a whole new level. Ps we don’t know that OP is birthday child mom. I’m wondering if she is just a family friend. |
Anonymous
Glad grandma did the right thing and ignored your advice. |
Anonymous
OP here - actually I agree. I did NOT put a lot of background here because I wanted input on whether my reaction to this one event was reasonable. Seems as though if taken in isolation, my feelings might be a bit of an overreaction to this ONE instance. But something similar happens EVERY time there’s an important event, and I’m over it. I think it’s best for everyone if I drop the rope. Previously another sister (older sister) scheduled a random event for her child ON THE DAY of my other kid’s birthday. She invited the entire family to visit her out of the country for that event, knowing we couldn’t go because we had a medically fragile newborn at the time. She could have picked ANY other day of the year but said this was the only one that worked all summer. Last year on my kid’s birthday the new mom in this story was invited, but her family got sick with fevers so we asked them not to come because as stated, we have a medically fragile young child. They didn’t talk to us for a while and when they finally did they made sure to mention repeatedly that their kid cried and was disappointed she couldn’t come. Meanwhile, NEVER any concern or inquiry from either of the sisters about my kid who has multiple medical issues and goes to dozens of specialists a year. NEVER - they literally could care less. We send gifts for their kids’ birthdays and for holidays each year (from lists that they send us), always accompanied by “no pressure” from them when they share the list (completely unsolicited). They don’t acknowledge receipt of the gifts until weeks have passed since delivery and we ask them if they actually received the gifts. Have never gotten anything from them in return. At various events/holidays, one of the sisters usually argues with grandma and either storms out dramatically or the entire holiday revolves around placating them. This past holiday there was a blowup between the sister who gave birth and the grandma while we were out of the house - nobody would tell us why, grandma claimed she didn’t know (lie) and other sister wouldn’t discuss it but sulked and snapped at everyone the rest of the visit. The younger sister dramatically packed up her family and departed. Other times the older sister demands that people drive her places even though she’s an adult with a driver’s license and had a car parked in the driveway. These demands always come at inopportune times when someone else would have to stop what they’re doing and take her (my husband, or one of her parents). Anyways, not to say that any of this changes the facts of the current situation that I outlined in my OP, but it just reinforces that I have very little patience to deal even with somewhat reasonable requests form them. I’m over it and will be better off focusing on my family and doing a slow fade. My spouse and I agreed that we will not be joining them for any future events or inviting them to our events. Thanks everyone - don’t know how much more I’ll be checking this thread, but I appreciate everyone who contributed in a constructive manner, it’s been illuminating. |
Anonymous
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OP, get over yourself. A newborn and mom who just gave birth are far more important in this case, though I don’t doubt your sister is difficult and has pulled stunts before.
But this was not the case to make on DCUM, because in this case, you are not the priority. At all. And sockpuppeting did not help your case. You just sound entitled and crazy with whack priorities, even if that’s not really true. |