DH Bought a Gun

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:You are being unreasonable. He’s already said he would lock it up. Many things can harm children in the house. Do you discuss anything that can harm children before you bring them in the house? Should he discuss purchasing a power drill? Should you discuss buying a curling iron in advance?

You’re really comparing a gin to a power drill or curling iron?

For some people, like my in-laws, it's normal to have them around. That doesn't make it less weird for affluent, educated people who grew up in gun-free homes. But it is normal for some.

I mean, my cousin married into a gun family, her husband had guns, he was dumb enough to keep it in the shoebox, their preschooler got it, it went off and killed their toddler. Just because it's normal doesn't make it safe. Kids accidentally get into guns all the time.

And promising to lock it up isn't thr same as actually locking up. OP hasn't clarified if husband actually came home with a gun safe and locks.

Got a link to that, some sorta news story?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If someone bought a gun, without talking to me, into our family with young children, he would be sleeping on the street with his precious weapon. I am quite avidly anti gun and would not want this in my home.

Living with a hand gun owner makes you 7x more likely to be shot by your spouse. 84% of those victims are women. As for protection, no difference in homocides by strangers - living with a gun does not make you safer, and some studies showed gun owners actually more likely to be killed by strangers. Women are 50% more likely to die by suicide than gun-free neighbours and are 4x more likely to die by suicide from gun.

No thank you.

You cannot be serious and really believe all that nonsense? You shouldn't be married if you distrust your spouse that much.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:The gun lives at t the range. Woman here and don’t mind guns, they live at the range where they are used and handled properly. If he won’t do that, teach your kids gun safety and consider divorce. Then mandate and decide how hard to fight if he prioritizes the gun over his family. Husband has considered a gun bc I was attacked and I say no even with that. Parents have guns and fine w gone safety protocols including acceptable mental health protocols

What range do you patronize that provides ongoing firearm storage service?

Only a gun club would provide that service. But you are paying a lot more than the gun he bought to be a member.

Owning a gun safely is not that hard - there are things called safes you bolt into your floor, wall or both that are nearly impossible to break into…and the people that could break into it aren’t wasting their time for a $600 Glock.
No kid is getting, that is for sure.

And yet, thousands (tens?!) of children do in fact get in there each year. You are wrong for claiming 100% success when there are so so so many gun deaths per years.

Sigh. NP. The kids who get ahold of guns aren't going through multiple safes, fingerprint triggers, etc. They're accessing guns that are carelessly stored. That was PP's point.

Agreed. Some of these people aren't thinking logically, and this thread has become a bit of a joke.

So how are thousands of kids killed every year from guns if everyone is super duper responsible? Clearly there’s a disconnect that you refuse to acknowledge.

There aren't thousands killed. That's ridiculous and you lose all credibility when you exaggerate things like that to that excess.

20,000 per year on average kill themselves with a firearm. Suicide is not "gun violence" by any means. So those are dismissed.

10,000 per year are killed by someone with a firearm, with around 9000 of those are inner city gang members or criminals that are shot either by citizens or police.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in hunting culture (Maine and the south) and learned gun safety really young. But it’s different when everyone gets the same lesson. I have less comfort with hobby shooters, I think because you’re a bit farther away from what it does to a living thing.

And while it’s true that most people I know had all their guns safely stored, my HS boyfriend’s brother killed himself with their father’s gun. The risk to people in crisis just can’t be overstated.

[Anonymous]

https://www.gunsitters.com

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The gun lives at t the range. Woman here and don’t mind guns, they live at the range where they are used and handled properly. If he won’t do that, teach your kids gun safety and consider divorce. Then mandate and decide how hard to fight if he prioritizes the gun over his family. Husband has considered a gun bc I was attacked and I say no even with that. Parents have guns and fine w gone safety protocols including acceptable mental health protocols

What range do you patronize that provides ongoing firearm storage service?

Only a gun club would provide that service. But you are paying a lot more than the gun he bought to be a member.

Owning a gun safely is not that hard - there are things called safes you bolt into your floor, wall or both that are nearly impossible to break into…and the people that could break into it aren’t wasting their time for a $600 Glock.
No kid is getting, that is for sure.

And yet, thousands (tens?!) of children do in fact get in there each year. You are wrong for claiming 100% success when there are so so so many gun deaths per years.

Sigh. NP. The kids who get ahold of guns aren't going through multiple safes, fingerprint triggers, etc. They're accessing guns that are carelessly stored. That was PP's point.

Agreed. Some of these people aren't thinking logically, and this thread has become a bit of a joke.

So how are thousands of kids killed every year from guns if everyone is super duper responsible? Clearly there’s a disconnect that you refuse to acknowledge.

There aren't thousands killed. That's ridiculous and you lose all credibility when you exaggerate things like that to that excess.

20,000 per year on average kill themselves with a firearm. Suicide is not "gun violence" by any means. So those are dismissed.

10,000 per year are killed by someone with a firearm, with around 9000of those are inner city gang members or criminals that are shot either by citizens or police.

I don’t think this person understands the word slash number “thousand”…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:That thing would get dropped off at the police station. You brought it home without asking me. I got rid of it without asking you. Fair's fair.

You sound like a fscking child. Grow up and learn how to have a conversation about your boundaries upfront instead of asking your family members to ask your royal permission or face your immature petty nonsense. Use your words.

Funny how you don’t say that about the husband? Sexist AH.

She's not his mommy or his boss. He doesn't need to beg her consent or her forgiveness for making an adult decision, responsibly.

There's nothing sexist about it. Flip the roles in the OP and my response is exactly the same, which is why the comment you're calling "sexist" is devoid of gender indicators at all. You're telling on yourself, PP.

You are sexist though, it’s coming through loud and clear. You think men have no responsibility to their spouse, but you think women DO have responsibility to theirs. You put all the blame for this situation on a woman “not communicating” but absolutely none on the man who didn’t communicate at all! Why isn’t HE using his words? Why aren’t you using equally harsh language towards him?

He did communicate, openly and honestly. That's how OP knows there's a gun.

You're projecting REALLY hard right now. I'm gonna let you, and it's about you, not me.

He did not communicate ahead of time that he wanted to buy a gun. He did not let OP know he was going to hit the shops and bring one home. Why couldn’t he just use his words to discuss with his spouse?

Why does he have to communicate ahead of time just in case his wife has big feelings she hasn't thought to bring up in the several weeks/months he's had shooting as a hobby? Why are you making him more responsible for her feelings/wants than she is? That's absurd.

You expect women to communicate but not men. Hmm interesting.

He did communicate. He told her he bought a gun and a gun safe. He didn't beg for her permission, because he's an adult and can go shopping without his wife writing him a permission slip about it.

She didn't communicate that she was against having a gun in the house, despite the fact that he clearly communicated about wanting to learn how to shoot, going shooting regularly, etc.

It is her job to communicate her wants, because she's an adult, not a child. He doesn't need to coax her opinion out of her. If she has big feelings about things, she needs to put on her big kid pants and use her words.

Quit trying to make it about men vs. women. It's adults. Period. All of them. This is how mature adults of any configuration are expected to communicate their wants/needs/thoughts/feelings. Grow up.

It's trollbait because the subject of the thread is guns, but this is literally how people who share space need to communicate about all the things. I don't want sweets in the house because I'll eat them daily if I have access. So I said this, up front, to the people I live with, who respect my preferences because I made them clear.

OP didn't, and it's her job to make her thoughts/feelings known, because she's grown. It's not her spouse's job to guess correctly and never cross the lines she invisibly drew. And the inverse is true, so misandrist troll can unclench and stand down.

Hilarious that you’re calling people misandrist when you’re literally being SO sexist. You say that OP should say her likes and dislikes to her husband up front - but he couldn’t have *possibly* told her that he was considering buying a gun. No, it’s only women that you expect to pre-communicate, but as long as the man post-communicates it’s fine. Technically, by your definition OP did communicate - she told him that she doesn’t want it in the house. Post-event, sharing her thoughts, that’s your version of communication apparently and she did it perfectly. So why you still blaming the woman? Is it because you actually just hate women? Sure seems so.

Oh dear, you're just so stuck! Let me try, again, to help you. I've taken all the gendery bits out so you can see it more clearly, because despite your insistence that this is a penis vs. vagina thing, it's not gendered at all. Clear communication is for adults of all configurations.

"She's taken up shooting as a hobby in the past few months and recently decided to purchase a gun. She came home with it without discussion."

OP had months to bring up this discussion that was apparently near and dear to them, and didn't. It's reasonable to assume that someone who has been shooting for a few months might consider buying a gun, or even simply do so (being an adult and all). If it was going to throw OP for a loop, OP needed to disclose that.

OP's spouse did communicate upfront that they would be involved with guns. If OP has limits about guns, it's for OP to disclose them during the "few months" that transpired before spouse bought a gun. This isn't a surprise. If you have a hobby, you tend to acquire the gear that goes with it. In this case, it's a gun. This makes perfect sense, and OP should've reasonably anticipated this possibility. If it was going to be a dealbreaker, OP should've said as much. OP didn't. Now OP wants to be mad, like spouse owed adherence to a boundary/rule OP didn't even state. That's not a mature way to engage the world.

Not a gender thing (though I suspect you'll keep trying to make it one).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The gun lives at t the range. Woman here and don’t mind guns, they live at the range where they are used and handled properly. If he won’t do that, teach your kids gun safety and consider divorce. Then mandate and decide how hard to fight if he prioritizes the gun over his family. Husband has considered a gun bc I was attacked and I say no even with that. Parents have guns and fine w gone safety protocols including acceptable mental health protocols

What range do you patronize that provides ongoing firearm storage service?

Only a gun club would provide that service. But you are paying a lot more than the gun he bought to be a member.

Owning a gun safely is not that hard - there are things called safes you bolt into your floor, wall or both that are nearly impossible to break into…and the people that could break into it aren’t wasting their time for a $600 Glock.
No kid is getting, that is for sure.

And yet, thousands (tens?!) of children do in fact get in there each year. You are wrong for claiming 100% success when there are so so so many gun deaths per years.

Sigh. NP. The kids who get ahold of guns aren't going through multiple safes, fingerprint triggers, etc. They're accessing guns that are carelessly stored. That was PP's point.

Agreed. Some of these people aren't thinking logically, and this thread has become a bit of a joke.

So how are thousands of kids killed every year from guns if everyone is super duper responsible? Clearly there’s a disconnect that you refuse to acknowledge.

There aren't thousands killed. That's ridiculous and you lose all credibility when you exaggerate things like that to that excess.

20,000 per year on average kill themselves with a firearm. Suicide is not "gun violence" by any means. So those are dismissed.

10,000 per year are killed by someone with a firearm, with around 9000of those are inner city gang members or criminals that are shot either by citizens or police.

I don’t think this person understands the word slash number “thousand”…

I don't think this pp understands how threads work.

Not PP, but what they're saying is clear: There aren't 20,000 child suicides. There aren't 10,000 child homicides either.

Follow the thread or start your own.

[Anonymous]

--- please do not quote this post in your responses

Let me put a different angle on this - I know someone whose DH suddenly got into hunting, then shooting, then self-defense, purchasing over 10 guns of different types within the span of less than two years. The spouse was not ok with this - they had both been fervently anti-gun since they had known each other, they had an elementary school kid, and he had MH issues. She expressed this as much as she could, and it progressed from "Ok, I will not bring these home" to bringing everything home (she learned of some purchases months after the fact, after spouse had explicitly lied about this). When she expressed that she felt really uncomfortable with this, she was told in no uncertain terms by her spouse that if either puts up with this or he gets a divorce.

Now, she did not feel great that he basically told her "take it or leave it", but she was shocked that he would gladly give up half time with their child for his love of guns.

This might not be the OP's case, but situations like this one do exist more often than you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The gun lives at t the range. Woman here and don’t mind guns, they live at the range where they are used and handled properly. If he won’t do that, teach your kids gun safety and consider divorce. Then mandate and decide how hard to fight if he prioritizes the gun over his family. Husband has considered a gun bc I was attacked and I say no even with that. Parents have guns and fine w gone safety protocols including acceptable mental health protocols

What range do you patronize that provides ongoing firearm storage service?

Only a gun club would provide that service. But you are paying a lot more than the gun he bought to be a member.

Owning a gun safely is not that hard - there are things called safes you bolt into your floor, wall or both that are nearly impossible to break into…and the people that could break into it aren’t wasting their time for a $600 Glock.
No kid is getting, that is for sure.

And yet, thousands (tens?!) of children do in fact get in there each year. You are wrong for claiming 100% success when there are so so so many gun deaths per years.

Sigh. NP. The kids who get ahold of guns aren't going through multiple safes, fingerprint triggers, etc. They're accessing guns that are carelessly stored. That was PP's point.

Agreed. Some of these people aren't thinking logically, and this thread has become a bit of a joke.

So how are thousands of kids killed every year from guns if everyone is super duper responsible? Clearly there’s a disconnect that you refuse to acknowledge.

There aren't thousands killed. That's ridiculous and you lose all credibility when you exaggerate things like that to that excess.

20,000 per year on average kill themselves with a firearm. Suicide is not "gun violence" by any means. So those are dismissed.

10,000 per year are killed by someone with a firearm, with around 9000 of those are inner city gang members or criminals that are shot either by citizens or police.

Suicide can't be dismissed. It's probably the best reason not to bring a gun into a house with a child, who is going to become a teenager, who may quickly develop mental illness and try to kill themselves. If you look at the rates of suicide by state, they mostly differ because of access to firearms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The gun lives at t the range. Woman here and don’t mind guns, they live at the range where they are used and handled properly. If he won’t do that, teach your kids gun safety and consider divorce. Then mandate and decide how hard to fight if he prioritizes the gun over his family. Husband has considered a gun bc I was attacked and I say no even with that. Parents have guns and fine w gone safety protocols including acceptable mental health protocols

What range do you patronize that provides ongoing firearm storage service?

Only a gun club would provide that service. But you are paying a lot more than the gun he bought to be a member.

Owning a gun safely is not that hard - there are things called safes you bolt into your floor, wall or both that are nearly impossible to break into…and the people that could break into it aren’t wasting their time for a $600 Glock.
No kid is getting, that is for sure.

And yet, thousands (tens?!) of children do in fact get in there each year. You are wrong for claiming 100% success when there are so so so many gun deaths per years.

Sigh. NP. The kids who get ahold of guns aren't going through multiple safes, fingerprint triggers, etc. They're accessing guns that are carelessly stored. That was PP's point.

Agreed. Some of these people aren't thinking logically, and this thread has become a bit of a joke.

So how are thousands of kids killed every year from guns if everyone is super duper responsible? Clearly there’s a disconnect that you refuse to acknowledge.

There aren't thousands killed. That's ridiculous and you lose all credibility when you exaggerate things like that to that excess.

20,000 per year on average kill themselves with a firearm. Suicide is not "gun violence" by any means. So those are dismissed.

10,000 per year are killed by someone with a firearm, with around 9000 of those are inner city gang members or criminals that are shot either by citizens or police.

Suicide can't be dismissed. It's probably the best reason not to bring a gun into a house with a child, who is going to become a teenager, who may quickly develop mental illness and try to kill themselves. If you look at the rates of suicide by state, they mostly differ because of access to firearms.

School shooters also often use family firearms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://www.gunsitters.com

This company appears to provide a useful and good service, but seems to require appointments for pick up and drop off, and does not advertise facilities for cleaning and maintenance. It does not appear to be associated with a range. So as useful as it might be for people who want longer-term firearm storage, it does not seem to be what posters are talking about when they suggest OP’s husband keep his gun outside their home between shooting sessions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The gun lives at t the range. Woman here and don’t mind guns, they live at the range where they are used and handled properly. If he won’t do that, teach your kids gun safety and consider divorce. Then mandate and decide how hard to fight if he prioritizes the gun over his family. Husband has considered a gun bc I was attacked and I say no even with that. Parents have guns and fine w gone safety protocols including acceptable mental health protocols

What range do you patronize that provides ongoing firearm storage service?

Only a gun club would provide that service. But you are paying a lot more than the gun he bought to be a member.

Owning a gun safely is not that hard - there are things called safes you bolt into your floor, wall or both that are nearly impossible to break into…and the people that could break into it aren’t wasting their time for a $600 Glock.
No kid is getting, that is for sure.

And yet, thousands (tens?!) of children do in fact get in there each year. You are wrong for claiming 100% success when there are so so so many gun deaths per years.

Sigh. NP. The kids who get ahold of guns aren't going through multiple safes, fingerprint triggers, etc. They're accessing guns that are carelessly stored. That was PP's point.

Agreed. Some of these people aren't thinking logically, and this thread has become a bit of a joke.

So how are thousands of kids killed every year from guns if everyone is super duper responsible? Clearly there’s a disconnect that you refuse to acknowledge.

There aren't thousands killed. That's ridiculous and you lose all credibility when you exaggerate things like that to that excess.

20,000 per year on average kill themselves with a firearm. Suicide is not "gun violence" by any means. So those are dismissed.

10,000 per year are killed by someone with a firearm, with around 9000of those are inner city gang members or criminals that are shot either by citizens or police.

I don’t think this person understands the word slash number “thousand”…

There aren't thousands of deaths if you ignore thousands of deaths. Facts. Logic. Maff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
--- please do not quote this post in your responses

Let me put a different angle on this - I know someone whose DH suddenly got into hunting, then shooting, then self-defense, purchasing over 10 guns of different types within the span of less than two years. The spouse was not ok with this - they had both been fervently anti-gun since they had known each other, they had an elementary school kid, and he had MH issues. She expressed this as much as she could, and it progressed from "Ok, I will not bring these home" to bringing everything home (she learned of some purchases months after the fact, after spouse had explicitly lied about this). When she expressed that she felt really uncomfortable with this, she was told in no uncertain terms by her spouse that if either puts up with this or he gets a divorce.

Now, she did not feel great that he basically told her "take it or leave it", but she was shocked that he would gladly give up half time with their child for his love of guns.

This might not be the OP's case, but situations like this one do exist more often than you think.

Unfortunately, this is very accurate.

Well-said, PP.

[Anonymous]

I knew my parents had a hunting rifle in the closet- I always saw it there. My brothers had BB guns. All the men in my family went hunting…
Do your husband get a handgun or a hunting rifle?