Parents of boys who became incels

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys can debate ethics or profit motive all you want. But a practical result of boys/young men feeling personally disadvantaged in specific situations very likely could be resentment towards those policies, whatever their provenance. I am not saying this makes them incels or justifies red pill culture, but on a human level it is understandable to feel it is 'unfair'.

Then that’s the answer for OP. Teach your sons to be critical thinkers, who are able to move past emotional and illogical knee-jerk reactions. Feeling “personally disadvantaged” by for-profit companies acting…for-profit…is going to be a very painful way to go through life and yes absolutely will lead to resentment and bitterness, even if it isn’t targeted at women.

Somehow you think that the profit notice erases the fact that people can be “personally disadvantaged” or that it doesn’t matter somehow? That’s not critical thinking at all.

Did these boys feel individually disadvantaged by every firm that only recruited out of higher-tier colleges? They disadvantaged all 20 of them.

Did they feel individually disadvantaged by every internship at the firm that was given to the child of a donor, an executive, or a contact?

Or do they only feel disadvantaged because the firm made the choice to recruit girls as well as boys?

If they’re choosing to resent women in the context of all the other people who didn’t give them internships than no, they’re not remotely critical thinkers.

Somehow they are fine when another man gets the job they wanted; that man earned it, good for him. But a woman? How dare they! She’s not more qualified! I have a penis!! Pick me!
🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys can debate ethics or profit motive all you want. But a practical result of boys/young men feeling personally disadvantaged in specific situations very likely could be resentment towards those policies, whatever their provenance. I am not saying this makes them incels or justifies red pill culture, but on a human level it is understandable to feel it is 'unfair'.

Then that’s the answer for OP. Teach your sons to be critical thinkers, who are able to move past emotional and illogical knee-jerk reactions. Feeling “personally disadvantaged” by for-profit companies acting…for-profit…is going to be a very painful way to go through life and yes absolutely will lead to resentment and bitterness, even if it isn’t targeted at women.

Somehow you think that the profit notice erases the fact that people can be “personally disadvantaged” or that it doesn’t matter somehow? That’s not critical thinking at all.

Did these boys feel individually disadvantaged by every firm that only recruited out of higher-tier colleges? They disadvantaged all 20 of them.

Did they feel individually disadvantaged by every internship at the firm that was given to the child of a donor, an executive, or a contact?

Or do they only feel disadvantaged because the firm made the choice to recruit girls as well as boys?

If they’re choosing to resent women in the context of all the other people who didn’t give them internships than no, they’re not remotely critical thinkers.

Somehow they are fine when another man gets the job they wanted; that man earned it, good for him. But a woman? How dare they! She’s not more qualified! I have a penis!! Pick me!
🙄

This doesn’t happen with normal people. Under socialized men who perhaps are undiagnosed, maybe. 95% of men? Nope. Doesn’t happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No trad moms it plays into the downfall of men.

A mom who is an equal is the only way to go.

Actually proven that men who grow up with working moms have more empathy. They are also better communicators, have more respect for gender equality, perform better in school, and are more equal partners with household chores.

Sahms can obviously instill these qualities into their kids as well, but just the simple act of seeing mom and dad equally sharing chores and seeing their mom have an identity outside of “mom” helps innately respect women more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys can debate ethics or profit motive all you want. But a practical result of boys/young men feeling personally disadvantaged in specific situations very likely could be resentment towards those policies, whatever their provenance. I am not saying this makes them incels or justifies red pill culture, but on a human level it is understandable to feel it is 'unfair'.

Then that’s the answer for OP. Teach your sons to be critical thinkers, who are able to move past emotional and illogical knee-jerk reactions. Feeling “personally disadvantaged” by for-profit companies acting…for-profit…is going to be a very painful way to go through life and yes absolutely will lead to resentment and bitterness, even if it isn’t targeted at women.

Somehow you think that the profit notice erases the fact that people can be “personally disadvantaged” or that it doesn’t matter somehow? That’s not critical thinking at all.

Did these boys feel individually disadvantaged by every firm that only recruited out of higher-tier colleges? They disadvantaged all 20 of them.

Did they feel individually disadvantaged by every internship at the firm that was given to the child of a donor, an executive, or a contact?

Or do they only feel disadvantaged because the firm made the choice to recruit girls as well as boys?

If they’re choosing to resent women in the context of all the other people who didn’t give them internships than no, they’re not remotely critical thinkers.

Pretty sure that all of that is unethical, sure. Of course people feel disadvantaged by all of that. This isn’t either/or.

Women have, for thousands of years, been disadvantaged. Cry me a river.

But that was a bad thing, right? So then it is bad to do the same to men. Especially since these men are not responsible for any of that history.

Somehow you’re trying to say that men are disadvantaged in this society? If so, you are drinking the red pill koolaid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys can debate ethics or profit motive all you want. But a practical result of boys/young men feeling personally disadvantaged in specific situations very likely could be resentment towards those policies, whatever their provenance. I am not saying this makes them incels or justifies red pill culture, but on a human level it is understandable to feel it is 'unfair'.

Then that’s the answer for OP. Teach your sons to be critical thinkers, who are able to move past emotional and illogical knee-jerk reactions. Feeling “personally disadvantaged” by for-profit companies acting…for-profit…is going to be a very painful way to go through life and yes absolutely will lead to resentment and bitterness, even if it isn’t targeted at women.

Somehow you think that the profit notice erases the fact that people can be “personally disadvantaged” or that it doesn’t matter somehow? That’s not critical thinking at all.

Did these boys feel individually disadvantaged by every firm that only recruited out of higher-tier colleges? They disadvantaged all 20 of them.

Did they feel individually disadvantaged by every internship at the firm that was given to the child of a donor, an executive, or a contact?

Or do they only feel disadvantaged because the firm made the choice to recruit girls as well as boys?

If they’re choosing to resent women in the context of all the other people who didn’t give them internships than no, they’re not remotely critical thinkers.

Somehow they are fine when another man gets the job they wanted; that man earned it, good for him. But a woman? How dare they! She’s not more qualified! I have a penis!! Pick me!
🙄

OMG I love you!!!!!!! Thank you and I couldn't have said it better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one clear message on which we can all agree, form this whole incel thing, is:

- boys need to be far more educated and raised as feminists. It is the antidote to toxic masculinity. I am talking to you, boy-moms.

It is more complicated than that. I have to be sympathetic to their perceptions since THEY seem to be bearing the brunt of the mistakes and bad behavior of generations of men before them. My boys know and have been told about the inequities in history (not just towards women but other cultural groups and races). They know to stand up for people. But all they know is the life they are living and struggling through themselves.

For example, my oldest's college roommate (boys) worked for weeks on a presentation for a prestigious internship position. There were spots for 2 boys and 2 girls from their school. There were about 20 boys and 3 girls who applied. His roommate did not get it despite being very qualified (grades, ecs etc) but one of the girls who got it had actually ran out of the presentation room in tears due to nerves. This really upset my feminist-raised ds on behalf of his roommate. It isn't going to make them the next Joe Rogans or anything but it doesn't engender empathy.

It is easy to say raise them that way but they face so many other factors and situations outside of the home especially as they get older - peers, reality, internet, other adults and leaders, etc.

Is your son’s premise that the only criteria that should have been assessed was the presentation? So if it turns out the girl had m higher grades, betters ecs, better recommendations or what have you, she is still “less qualified”? Because it’s not clear from your example that she was, only that on the presentation (one aspect) she did less well.

Just cautioning you (and your son) about that logic. It’s much easier to be a victim than a gracious loser.

The real crux of the issue. All these boymoms raising their precious babies to believe they deserve everything, and if they don’t get it it’s someone else’s fault. Minorities, women, etc.

Meh. Maybe some boymoms but certainly not all. Not most.

My boys will have to fight for everything. They’re looking for equal partners as mates so they can fight together.

I shouldn’t have generalized like that, I do agree with you. And I love that for your boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys can debate ethics or profit motive all you want. But a practical result of boys/young men feeling personally disadvantaged in specific situations very likely could be resentment towards those policies, whatever their provenance. I am not saying this makes them incels or justifies red pill culture, but on a human level it is understandable to feel it is 'unfair'.

Then that’s the answer for OP. Teach your sons to be critical thinkers, who are able to move past emotional and illogical knee-jerk reactions. Feeling “personally disadvantaged” by for-profit companies acting…for-profit…is going to be a very painful way to go through life and yes absolutely will lead to resentment and bitterness, even if it isn’t targeted at women.

Somehow you think that the profit notice erases the fact that people can be “personally disadvantaged” or that it doesn’t matter somehow? That’s not critical thinking at all.

Did these boys feel individually disadvantaged by every firm that only recruited out of higher-tier colleges? They disadvantaged all 20 of them.

Did they feel individually disadvantaged by every internship at the firm that was given to the child of a donor, an executive, or a contact?

Or do they only feel disadvantaged because the firm made the choice to recruit girls as well as boys?

If they’re choosing to resent women in the context of all the other people who didn’t give them internships than no, they’re not remotely critical thinkers.

Somehow they are fine when another man gets the job they wanted; that man earned it, good for him. But a woman? How dare they! She’s not more qualified! I have a penis!! Pick me!
🙄

This doesn’t happen with normal people. Under socialized men who perhaps are undiagnosed, maybe. 95% of men? Nope. Doesn’t happen.

Well it apparently happened to multiple men in this thread. And they blamed women for it. Idk what the percentage is, but that’s literally what this thread is about - these incel men who blame women for all their issues. These men would and DO respect men (ones they see as worthy at least). They listen to them. They pay them. This is the entire grift of red pill content.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys can debate ethics or profit motive all you want. But a practical result of boys/young men feeling personally disadvantaged in specific situations very likely could be resentment towards those policies, whatever their provenance. I am not saying this makes them incels or justifies red pill culture, but on a human level it is understandable to feel it is 'unfair'.

Then that’s the answer for OP. Teach your sons to be critical thinkers, who are able to move past emotional and illogical knee-jerk reactions. Feeling “personally disadvantaged” by for-profit companies acting…for-profit…is going to be a very painful way to go through life and yes absolutely will lead to resentment and bitterness, even if it isn’t targeted at women.

Somehow you think that the profit notice erases the fact that people can be “personally disadvantaged” or that it doesn’t matter somehow? That’s not critical thinking at all.

Did these boys feel individually disadvantaged by every firm that only recruited out of higher-tier colleges? They disadvantaged all 20 of them.

Did they feel individually disadvantaged by every internship at the firm that was given to the child of a donor, an executive, or a contact?

Or do they only feel disadvantaged because the firm made the choice to recruit girls as well as boys?

If they’re choosing to resent women in the context of all the other people who didn’t give them internships than no, they’re not remotely critical thinkers.

Pretty sure that all of that is unethical, sure. Of course people feel disadvantaged by all of that. This isn’t either/or.

Women have, for thousands of years, been disadvantaged. Cry me a river.

But that was a bad thing, right? So then it is bad to do the same to men. Especially since these men are not responsible for any of that history.

Our society has moved from 99% of things being explicitly reserved for white men to a greater number of things being available me to both sexes. This doesn’t “disadvantage” men it just removes their exclusive access. Helping our sons understand that is a basic part of parenting.

I dispute your claim of “ 99%.” I think you simply made that number up.

But Bloomberg News did not make up the statistic their research discovered; Bloomberg discovered the opposite: 94%. Here is Bloomberg’s evidence (if you want to question it):

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/newsletters/2023-09-26/corporate-america-kept-its-promise-to-hire-more-people-of-color


“New analysis shows in the year after the protests, the biggest public companies added over 300,000 jobs — and 94% of them went to people of color.”

Women were legally barred from practicing law in many states, legally barred from many military jobs, legally barred from government jobs after marriage. So you’re right, it was
not “99%” it was 100%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys can debate ethics or profit motive all you want. But a practical result of boys/young men feeling personally disadvantaged in specific situations very likely could be resentment towards those policies, whatever their provenance. I am not saying this makes them incels or justifies red pill culture, but on a human level it is understandable to feel it is 'unfair'.

Then that’s the answer for OP. Teach your sons to be critical thinkers, who are able to move past emotional and illogical knee-jerk reactions. Feeling “personally disadvantaged” by for-profit companies acting…for-profit…is going to be a very painful way to go through life and yes absolutely will lead to resentment and bitterness, even if it isn’t targeted at women.

Somehow you think that the profit notice erases the fact that people can be “personally disadvantaged” or that it doesn’t matter somehow? That’s not critical thinking at all.

Did these boys feel individually disadvantaged by every firm that only recruited out of higher-tier colleges? They disadvantaged all 20 of them.

Did they feel individually disadvantaged by every internship at the firm that was given to the child of a donor, an executive, or a contact?

Or do they only feel disadvantaged because the firm made the choice to recruit girls as well as boys?

If they’re choosing to resent women in the context of all the other people who didn’t give them internships than no, they’re not remotely critical thinkers.

Somehow they are fine when another man gets the job they wanted; that man earned it, good for him. But a woman? How dare they! She’s not more qualified! I have a penis!! Pick me!
🙄

Agree completely and is anyone actually surprised at this?

It’s simply more obvious evidence from our sexist, paternalistic, misogynistic, phallocentric, prejudicial, authoritarian, discriminatory, woman-hating society in America in 2025!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys can debate ethics or profit motive all you want. But a practical result of boys/young men feeling personally disadvantaged in specific situations very likely could be resentment towards those policies, whatever their provenance. I am not saying this makes them incels or justifies red pill culture, but on a human level it is understandable to feel it is 'unfair'.

Then that’s the answer for OP. Teach your sons to be critical thinkers, who are able to move past emotional and illogical knee-jerk reactions. Feeling “personally disadvantaged” by for-profit companies acting…for-profit…is going to be a very painful way to go through life and yes absolutely will lead to resentment and bitterness, even if it isn’t targeted at women.

Somehow you think that the profit notice erases the fact that people can be “personally disadvantaged” or that it doesn’t matter somehow? That’s not critical thinking at all.

Did these boys feel individually disadvantaged by every firm that only recruited out of higher-tier colleges? They disadvantaged all 20 of them.

Did they feel individually disadvantaged by every internship at the firm that was given to the child of a donor, an executive, or a contact?

Or do they only feel disadvantaged because the firm made the choice to recruit girls as well as boys?

If they’re choosing to resent women in the context of all the other people who didn’t give them internships than no, they’re not remotely critical thinkers.

Somehow they are fine when another man gets the job they wanted; that man earned it, good for him. But a woman? How dare they! She’s not more qualified! I have a penis!! Pick me!
🙄

This doesn’t happen with normal people. Under socialized men who perhaps are undiagnosed, maybe. 95% of men? Nope. Doesn’t happen.

Well it apparently happened to multiple men in this thread. And they blamed women for it. Idk what the percentage is, but that’s literally what this thread is about - these incel men who blame women for all their issues. These men would and DO respect men (ones they see as worthy at least). They listen to them. They pay them. This is the entire grift of red pill content.

But how many people is this IRL? The maladjusted ones aren’t exactly reproducing. The men who are within the range of normal aren’t these basement dwellers. And there’s plenty of men who are within the range of normal. You all are arguing with mental children. You can do that of course but the mental children need to get lives and face challenges head on. I have only boys and I just can’t with the whining. Life is unfair, stop whining and be better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys can debate ethics or profit motive all you want. But a practical result of boys/young men feeling personally disadvantaged in specific situations very likely could be resentment towards those policies, whatever their provenance. I am not saying this makes them incels or justifies red pill culture, but on a human level it is understandable to feel it is 'unfair'.

Then that’s the answer for OP. Teach your sons to be critical thinkers, who are able to move past emotional and illogical knee-jerk reactions. Feeling “personally disadvantaged” by for-profit companies acting…for-profit…is going to be a very painful way to go through life and yes absolutely will lead to resentment and bitterness, even if it isn’t targeted at women.

Somehow you think that the profit notice erases the fact that people can be “personally disadvantaged” or that it doesn’t matter somehow? That’s not critical thinking at all.

Did these boys feel individually disadvantaged by every firm that only recruited out of higher-tier colleges? They disadvantaged all 20 of them.

Did they feel individually disadvantaged by every internship at the firm that was given to the child of a donor, an executive, or a contact?

Or do they only feel disadvantaged because the firm made the choice to recruit girls as well as boys?

If they’re choosing to resent women in the context of all the other people who didn’t give them internships than no, they’re not remotely critical thinkers.

Somehow they are fine when another man gets the job they wanted; that man earned it, good for him. But a woman? How dare they! She’s not more qualified! I have a penis!! Pick me!
🙄

This doesn’t happen with normal people. Under socialized men who perhaps are undiagnosed, maybe. 95% of men? Nope. Doesn’t happen.

Well it apparently happened to multiple men in this thread. And they blamed women for it. Idk what the percentage is, but that’s literally what this thread is about - these incel men who blame women for all their issues. These men would and DO respect men (ones they see as worthy at least). They listen to them. They pay them. This is the entire grift of red pill content.

But how many people is this IRL? The maladjusted ones aren’t exactly reproducing. The men who are within the range of normal aren’t these basement dwellers. And there’s plenty of men who are within the range of normal. You all are arguing with mental children. You can do that of course but the mental children need to get lives and face challenges head on. I have only boys and I just can’t with the whining. Life is unfair, stop whining and be better.

This is all women want - we are literally begging parents boys to instill this in them.
But for whatever reason, this isn’t happening. I just googled for a # and it doesn’t seem to have one. There are literally millions of men who view rogsn/tate/petersen content. It’s not just a few bad eggs, it’s millions. Thats scary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys can debate ethics or profit motive all you want. But a practical result of boys/young men feeling personally disadvantaged in specific situations very likely could be resentment towards those policies, whatever their provenance. I am not saying this makes them incels or justifies red pill culture, but on a human level it is understandable to feel it is 'unfair'.

Then that’s the answer for OP. Teach your sons to be critical thinkers, who are able to move past emotional and illogical knee-jerk reactions. Feeling “personally disadvantaged” by for-profit companies acting…for-profit…is going to be a very painful way to go through life and yes absolutely will lead to resentment and bitterness, even if it isn’t targeted at women.

Somehow you think that the profit notice erases the fact that people can be “personally disadvantaged” or that it doesn’t matter somehow? That’s not critical thinking at all.

Did these boys feel individually disadvantaged by every firm that only recruited out of higher-tier colleges? They disadvantaged all 20 of them.

Did they feel individually disadvantaged by every internship at the firm that was given to the child of a donor, an executive, or a contact?

Or do they only feel disadvantaged because the firm made the choice to recruit girls as well as boys?

If they’re choosing to resent women in the context of all the other people who didn’t give them internships than no, they’re not remotely critical thinkers.

Somehow they are fine when another man gets the job they wanted; that man earned it, good for him. But a woman? How dare they! She’s not more qualified! I have a penis!! Pick me!
🙄

Agree completely and is anyone actually surprised at this?

It’s simply more obvious evidence from our sexist, paternalistic, misogynistic, phallocentric, prejudicial, authoritarian, discriminatory, woman-hating society in America in 2025!

You guys are talking to yourselves. Nobody said any of that crap except for you and the pp. You are making up arguments and then arguing with yourself. Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys can debate ethics or profit motive all you want. But a practical result of boys/young men feeling personally disadvantaged in specific situations very likely could be resentment towards those policies, whatever their provenance. I am not saying this makes them incels or justifies red pill culture, but on a human level it is understandable to feel it is 'unfair'.

Then that’s the answer for OP. Teach your sons to be critical thinkers, who are able to move past emotional and illogical knee-jerk reactions. Feeling “personally disadvantaged” by for-profit companies acting…for-profit…is going to be a very painful way to go through life and yes absolutely will lead to resentment and bitterness, even if it isn’t targeted at women.

Somehow you think that the profit notice erases the fact that people can be “personally disadvantaged” or that it doesn’t matter somehow? That’s not critical thinking at all.

Did these boys feel individually disadvantaged by every firm that only recruited out of higher-tier colleges? They disadvantaged all 20 of them.

Did they feel individually disadvantaged by every internship at the firm that was given to the child of a donor, an executive, or a contact?

Or do they only feel disadvantaged because the firm made the choice to recruit girls as well as boys?

If they’re choosing to resent women in the context of all the other people who didn’t give them internships than no, they’re not remotely critical thinkers.

Somehow they are fine when another man gets the job they wanted; that man earned it, good for him. But a woman? How dare they! She’s not more qualified! I have a penis!! Pick me!
🙄

This doesn’t happen with normal people. Under socialized men who perhaps are undiagnosed, maybe. 95% of men? Nope. Doesn’t happen.

Well it apparently happened to multiple men in this thread. And they blamed women for it. Idk what the percentage is, but that’s literally what this thread is about - these incel men who blame women for all their issues. These men would and DO respect men (ones they see as worthy at least). They listen to them. They pay them. This is the entire grift of red pill content.

But how many people is this IRL? The maladjusted ones aren’t exactly reproducing. The men who are within the range of normal aren’t these basement dwellers. And there’s plenty of men who are within the range of normal. You all are arguing with mental children. You can do that of course but the mental children need to get lives and face challenges head on. I have only boys and I just can’t with the whining. Life is unfair, stop whining and be better.

Only men should stop “whining” or do you say the same to feminists?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you wanted the show Adolescence on Netflix? I assume that's where this is coming from.

I think that was a very specific situation, and nothing the parents did or didn't do caused it. They should have better addressed his anger and control; but I don't believe from that fictionalized case that being an incel was caused by his parents.

For my son's, they see a respectful household. We respect all people and their boundaries. More rights for women and equality for all races, genders, sexual orientations does not mean less rights for straight, biological males. That respect goes both ways. They see kindness in action and verbalized.

I disagree. They shouldn't have permitted him to have a computer in his room, and they should have supported his interest in art with drawing classes, visits to museums, etc. instead, his dad took him to soccer and boxing, and they left him alone in his room on the Internet until 1AM.

Basically they disregarded who he was and what his interests were.

The results might have been the same but they failed in those respects IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boys need
A mom at home.
Almost zero screen time.
Male and female friends, in real life.
A good education, either at home or in a private school.
Lots of fresh air every day.

If you're not doing that, you're gonna have a bad time. Bottom line.

I would rewrite this:

Attentive, authoritative (not authoritarian) parents
Limited screen time with clear limits
Friends and family
A good education
Time outdoors
Time and resources to pursue interests