Poor you. No comprehension skills. This board is very pro divorce when there is abuse involved. I would not say this board is pro-divorce in the sense that everyone is always encouraging people to divorce so they have more time to drink wine with friends and have a spa day. Two loving involved parents living together in an abuse-free home is monumentally better for kids than parents getting divorced just so a nasty ass granny can paw the kids without mommy around, or so one parent has more free time. Disgusting. |
Not signing here either. And she stays out of our business. Don't judge all MIL'S based on yours. You sound like a nightmare. |
+1. And I deeply disliked my MIL and how she got in my business. It’s clear that this poster’s son is going to marry someone just like dear old mom. An overbearing, immature, know-it -all. Guess what happens then? There can only be one of those in a marriage. DIL will be getting rid of MIL just as soon as she has the first grandkid. |
It's your opinion that isolating a spouse and control their communication with their parents is not abuse. |
Why not? |
The husband is allowing his wife to dictate his communication with his parents that’s a him problem. He’s a grown man. |
So not wanting your spouse to keep marital issues private is abusive? |
So wanting* |
Being tired is a marital issue? And get real, women talk about their husbands to their moms often. It's a double standard. |
How so? She asked a question and he is free to answer or not. OP doesn't like that the question is asked. How does she plan to prevent that going forward? |
You are crazy, find a hobby- mom of two sons, one in college and one in grad school |
"my mother and i have always been very close. she's been my biggest supporter and the best person to turn to talk through problems. she always offers sound wisdom and never butts in, but lets me figure things out. my husband has declared i'm no longer allowed to talk with my mother about anything related to our lives, relationship, or children. He says these things are all private and I can't talk with her about how to juggle the logistics of two jobs and domestic chores, how to navigate the conflicts we have when we are both exhausted and stressed out from our new baby, or even discuss with her things i'm considering for our child's sleeping schedule or health issues. When i break any of his "rules" he gives me the silent treatment for days, punishes me by being nasty to my mom when she comes to visit, and generally makes our house so miserable that i regret ever talking to my mom about anything other than the weather. Is this normal? Should I distance myself from my mother because my husband doesn't like me sharing anything with her? are we really supposed to pretend everything is always fine and keep all our challenges to ourselves, even when it comes to our families?" yes. that is abusive |
+ 1,000 |
Sorry OP. Your letter described my MIL’s behavior exactly. Just reading it made the bad memories come back. Many, many MILs are great. Unfortunately, some really suck. |
So you think it’s ok for a man to bring his marital issues to his mother and involve her in his marriage and paint his wife in a bad light? So running to mommy instead of talking things with his wife? What’s wrong with asking your husband to not complain or vent about you and go to an unbiased source. Your husband should care about how this can affect your relationship with his mother. Why would he want to create tension between his wife and mother or paint his wife in a bad light? That’s mommas boy behavior. |