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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dear DILs Everywhere,

Your husband was my son for many years before he was your husband. I don’t care if he is 5 or 95 as long as I’m alive it is my “job” to lookout for him and make sure he is being treated right.

So many men work hard for their families and all their wive’s do is spend their hard earned money. As a mom of a young son I want my son to be treated kindly in his marriage and not dominated by a domineering woman in the future.

And I don’t give a rat’s ass what you think my first loyalty is always to my own son. If I think he is being taken advantage of in his marriage you bet your ass I always have that “right” to pull him aside and have a conversation about it.

I carried him for 9 months, gave birth to him, raised him into adulthood, held him while he cried, fixed his boo boos, stayed up with him all night. I will always cradle to grave protect him.

He can divorce you honey and get another wife but he can only ever have one mother.

Signed,

A mother of a young boy.[/quote]

I feel sorry for your future DIL.  Consider this, then - if you cause trouble in your son's marriage your will only be making your son unhappy.  Divorce is horrible.  Imagine now that your son and his wife have a child.  If you succeed in interfering to where you cause a divorce, you will not only cause your own son pain, but leave your grandchild broken-hearted over the end of life as they know it.  That makes you a selfish jerk.  [/quote]

Divorce is horrible? Come on now. People here talk about it being liberating. Less child care time more personal time. And kids are resilient, remember? A divorce would mean MIL gets a lot more time with her grandchild too without walking on eggshells around an unstable DIL.[/quote]

lol yikes. Tell me you don’t give one shit about children without saying you don’t give one shit about children.[/quote]

So, people should stay in bad marriages for the sake of the kids? [/quote]

So confused how you read the above posts and that was your takeaway. Really bizarre and illogical thinking. But someone singing the praises and touting the wondrous benefits of divorce (none of which include a single thought about the children) but instead focus on things like more personal time away from your children is not someone I would want anywhere near children. Certainly not my own! That poster (probably you?) is pretty yuck and cringe.[/quote]

Im not talking about my personal feelings but this board is extremely pro divorce and very quick to recommend it. Are you new here?[/quote]

Poor you. No comprehension skills. This board is very pro divorce when there is abuse involved. I would not say this board is pro-divorce in the sense that everyone is always encouraging people to divorce so they have more time to drink wine with friends and have a spa day. Two loving involved parents living together in an abuse-free home is monumentally better for kids than parents getting divorced just so a nasty ass granny can paw the kids without mommy around, or so one parent has more free time. Disgusting.[/quote]

It's your opinion that isolating a spouse and control their communication with their parents is not abuse.[/quote]

So not wanting your spouse to keep marital issues private is abusive?[/quote]

"my mother and i have always been very close.  she's been my biggest supporter and the best person to turn to talk through problems. she always offers sound wisdom and never butts in, but lets me figure things out.  my husband has declared i'm no longer allowed to talk with my mother about anything related to our lives, relationship, or children.  He says these things are all private and I can't talk with her about how to juggle the logistics of two jobs and domestic chores, how to navigate the conflicts we have when we are both exhausted and stressed out from our new baby, or even discuss with her things i'm considering for our child's sleeping schedule or health issues. When i break any of his "rules" he gives me the silent treatment for days, punishes me by being nasty to my mom when she comes to visit, and generally makes our house so miserable that i regret ever talking to my mom about anything other than the weather.

Is this normal? Should I distance myself from my mother because my husband doesn't like me sharing anything with her? are we really supposed to pretend everything is always fine and keep all our challenges to ourselves, even when it comes to our families?"

yes. that is abusive[/quote]

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