Married and infatuated with coworker

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a despicable person. Half your posts are tearing down his wife who you have zero personal relationships with.

You are an old loser. 10-years older than him with your peri-menopause grandma panties in a twist.

I’m sure everyone in the office gossips about you fawning over this younger guy

Life has given me crap so far regarding relationships, I have worked my ass off, trying to be the best person I can be and I look around and I see lazy idiotic women who had their ‘soulmates’ just fall into their laps. I deserve better than what I currently have, sorry, yes it saddens me, I hate seeing happy couples. I will never ever ever have that.

There is a reason: it’s you.

You tear down other women constantly. You covet what they have while denigrating them and calling them idiots and losers.

You haven’t found true love like then because you aren’t a good person. You are rotten inside and people can tell.

Maybe you’re right, but I am brutally honest. I have worked for everything in my life, no one has helped me, my parents were dysfunctional, poor and uneducated I have not had an easy time. When I see other people, women and men who don’t have to work for anything, mommy and daddy buy them a car, a house, a woman’s only goal in life is to marry a successful man and have kids, and then never lift a finger, I despise this. Sorry if I sound bitter and mean, I have spent years working and trying to better myself, while watching others sit back, being given a free ride along with a loving attentive spouse who loves them unconditionally Yes I am bitter.

[Anonymous]

am not the OP, i am a different poster who relates to OP. I am far from an old lady, my crush is not 10 years younger, he is about 6 years younger which is insignificant. I am tired of everyone acting so self righteous and sanctimonious when it concerns marriage. It’s only about timing anyhow, it’s pure luck and chance that people marry a person with mutual feelings. It’s okay to have feelings for a married person, I am not disordered because of that. I’m not afraid to push social boundaries or norms, my feelings are raw and i have a strong intuition that this man feels the same. Why does a relationship with him mean that families must be destroyed? That seems a little dramatic but society tells us that’s what should happen so be it.

Stop trying to cast yourself in some rebel role to justify your lack of integrity/morals. Society tells you not to screw around with someone else’s spouse/family because it’s a terrible way to treat another person. Society needs everyone to honor the basic human contact of not harming others in order to function and progress. It’s not luck and chance that the vast majority of people enter into mutually loving marriages, it’s the fact that most people have a healthy understanding of their own emotions and needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a despicable person. Half your posts are tearing down his wife who you have zero personal relationships with.

You are an old loser. 10-years older than him with your peri-menopause grandma panties in a twist.

I’m sure everyone in the office gossips about you fawning over this younger guy

Life has given me crap so far regarding relationships, I have worked my ass off, trying to be the best person I can be and I look around and I see lazy idiotic women who had their ‘soulmates’ just fall into their laps. I deserve better than what I currently have, sorry, yes it saddens me, I hate seeing happy couples. I will never ever ever have that.

There is a reason: it’s you.

You tear down other women constantly. You covet what they have while denigrating them and calling them idiots and losers.

You haven’t found true love like then because you aren’t a good person. You are rotten inside and people can tell.

Maybe you’re right, but I am brutally honest. I have worked for everything in my life, no one has helped me, my parents were dysfunctional, poor and uneducated I have not had an easy time. When I see other people, women and men who don’t have to work for anything, mommy and daddy buy them a car, a house, a woman’s only goal in life is to marry a successful man and have kids, and then never lift a finger, I despise this. Sorry if I sound bitter and mean, I have spent years working and trying to better myself, while watching others sit back, being given a free ride along with a loving attentive spouse who loves them unconditionally Yes I am bitter.

For someone who has worked sooooo hard in life, you seem completely unwilling to do the basic work needed to be a mentally healthy and decent person.

Indulge the limerence if you like, pursue this guy who is over medicated, married, and doesn’t know you exist, but it’s going to end badly, mostly for you. Even if you only linger in your feelings, it’s still going to feel awful after awhile. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

am not the OP, i am a different poster who relates to OP. I am far from an old lady, my crush is not 10 years younger, he is about 6 years younger which is insignificant. I am tired of everyone acting so self righteous and sanctimonious when it concerns marriage. It’s only about timing anyhow, it’s pure luck and chance that people marry a person with mutual feelings. It’s okay to have feelings for a married person, I am not disordered because of that. I’m not afraid to push social boundaries or norms, my feelings are raw and i have a strong intuition that this man feels the same. Why does a relationship with him mean that families must be destroyed? That seems a little dramatic but society tells us that’s what should happen so be it.

Stop trying to cast yourself in some rebel role to justify your lack of integrity/morals. Society tells you not to screw around with someone else’s spouse/family because it’s a terrible way to treat another person. Society needs everyone to honor the basic human contact of not harming others in order to function and progress. It’s not luck and chance that the vast majority of people enter into mutually loving marriages, it’s the fact that most people have a healthy understanding of their own emotions and needs.

I realize this, and this is purely a fantasy for me, I have not acted on this and I most likely never will. I’m unhappy with my marriage but I need to find other outlets, spend all of my waking hours with my kids, or exercise or work more, anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

am not the OP, i am a different poster who relates to OP. I am far from an old lady, my crush is not 10 years younger, he is about 6 years younger which is insignificant. I am tired of everyone acting so self righteous and sanctimonious when it concerns marriage. It’s only about timing anyhow, it’s pure luck and chance that people marry a person with mutual feelings. It’s okay to have feelings for a married person, I am not disordered because of that. I’m not afraid to push social boundaries or norms, my feelings are raw and i have a strong intuition that this man feels the same. Why does a relationship with him mean that families must be destroyed? That seems a little dramatic but society tells us that’s what should happen so be it.

Stop trying to cast yourself in some rebel role to justify your lack of integrity/morals. Society tells you not to screw around with someone else’s spouse/family because it’s a terrible way to treat another person. Society needs everyone to honor the basic human contact of not harming others in order to function and progress. It’s not luck and chance that the vast majority of people enter into mutually loving marriages, it’s the fact that most people have a healthy understanding of their own emotions and needs.

I realize this, and this is purely a fantasy for me, I have not acted on this and I most likely never will. I’m unhappy with my marriage but I need to find other outlets, spend all of my waking hours with my kids, or exercise or work more, anything.

Or you could work on fixing your mental health. You seem unwilling to take accountability for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a despicable person. Half your posts are tearing down his wife who you have zero personal relationships with.

You are an old loser. 10-years older than him with your peri-menopause grandma panties in a twist.

I’m sure everyone in the office gossips about you fawning over this younger guy

Life has given me crap so far regarding relationships, I have worked my ass off, trying to be the best person I can be and I look around and I see lazy idiotic women who had their ‘soulmates’ just fall into their laps. I deserve better than what I currently have, sorry, yes it saddens me, I hate seeing happy couples. I will never ever ever have that.

There is a reason: it’s you.

You tear down other women constantly. You covet what they have while denigrating them and calling them idiots and losers.

You haven’t found true love like then because you aren’t a good person. You are rotten inside and people can tell.

Maybe you’re right, but I am brutally honest. I have worked for everything in my life, no one has helped me, my parents were dysfunctional, poor and uneducated I have not had an easy time. When I see other people, women and men who don’t have to work for anything, mommy and daddy buy them a car, a house, a woman’s only goal in life is to marry a successful man and have kids, and then never lift a finger, I despise this. Sorry if I sound bitter and mean, I have spent years working and trying to better myself, while watching others sit back, being given a free ride along with a loving attentive spouse who loves them unconditionally Yes I am bitter.

NP. Many people assume I’ve had it easy. They have no idea. Maybe you should focus on healing yourself and not on others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a despicable person. Half your posts are tearing down his wife who you have zero personal relationships with.

You are an old loser. 10-years older than him with your peri-menopause grandma panties in a twist.

I’m sure everyone in the office gossips about you fawning over this younger guy

Life has given me crap so far regarding relationships, I have worked my ass off, trying to be the best person I can be and I look around and I see lazy idiotic women who had their ‘soulmates’ just fall into their laps. I deserve better than what I currently have, sorry, yes it saddens me, I hate seeing happy couples. I will never ever ever have that.

There is a reason: it’s you.

You tear down other women constantly. You covet what they have while denigrating them and calling them idiots and losers.

You haven’t found true love like then because you aren’t a good person. You are rotten inside and people can tell.

Maybe you’re right, but I am brutally honest. I have worked for everything in my life, no one has helped me, my parents were dysfunctional, poor and uneducated I have not had an easy time. When I see other people, women and men who don’t have to work for anything, mommy and daddy buy them a car, a house, a woman’s only goal in life is to marry a successful man and have kids, and then never lift a finger, I despise this. Sorry if I sound bitter and mean, I have spent years working and trying to better myself, while watching others sit back, being given a free ride along with a loving attentive spouse who loves them unconditionally Yes I am bitter.

I come from a really shitty environment and I have had to work like hell just to be remotely functional, and a really amazing husband did sort of fall into my lap. Some people who have had it easy in every other way don’t find the life they are looking for in life or get into crappy, even abusive marriages. Some people who are awful get great spouses.

Life just isn’t fair. There is a lot of luck involved in love.

You are in therapy right? Because it seems like you’re carrying a lot of heavy baggage and I think you could use a break and set it down for a bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

am not the OP, i am a different poster who relates to OP. I am far from an old lady, my crush is not 10 years younger, he is about 6 years younger which is insignificant. I am tired of everyone acting so self righteous and sanctimonious when it concerns marriage. It’s only about timing anyhow, it’s pure luck and chance that people marry a person with mutual feelings. It’s okay to have feelings for a married person, I am not disordered because of that. I’m not afraid to push social boundaries or norms, my feelings are raw and i have a strong intuition that this man feels the same. Why does a relationship with him mean that families must be destroyed? That seems a little dramatic but society tells us that’s what should happen so be it.

Stop trying to cast yourself in some rebel role to justify your lack of integrity/morals. Society tells you not to screw around with someone else’s spouse/family because it’s a terrible way to treat another person. Society needs everyone to honor the basic human contact of not harming others in order to function and progress. It’s not luck and chance that the vast majority of people enter into mutually loving marriages, it’s the fact that most people have a healthy understanding of their own emotions and needs.

I realize this, and this is purely a fantasy for me, I have not acted on this and I most likely never will. I’m unhappy with my marriage but I need to find other outlets, spend all of my waking hours with my kids, or exercise or work more, anything.

Or you could work on fixing your mental health. You seem unwilling to take accountability for that.

I have tried many times, had therapy, it didn’t help. I have to figure out ways to help myself, I am a highly functional person, I’ve been managing just fine. Yes, I have my moments but I realize I can’t sit and wallow in my misery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a despicable person. Half your posts are tearing down his wife who you have zero personal relationships with.

You are an old loser. 10-years older than him with your peri-menopause grandma panties in a twist.

I’m sure everyone in the office gossips about you fawning over this younger guy

Life has given me crap so far regarding relationships, I have worked my ass off, trying to be the best person I can be and I look around and I see lazy idiotic women who had their ‘soulmates’ just fall into their laps. I deserve better than what I currently have, sorry, yes it saddens me, I hate seeing happy couples. I will never ever ever have that.

There is a reason: it’s you.

You tear down other women constantly. You covet what they have while denigrating them and calling them idiots and losers.

You haven’t found true love like then because you aren’t a good person. You are rotten inside and people can tell.

Maybe you’re right, but I am brutally honest. I have worked for everything in my life, no one has helped me, my parents were dysfunctional, poor and uneducated I have not had an easy time. When I see other people, women and men who don’t have to work for anything, mommy and daddy buy them a car, a house, a woman’s only goal in life is to marry a successful man and have kids, and then never lift a finger, I despise this. Sorry if I sound bitter and mean, I have spent years working and trying to better myself, while watching others sit back, being given a free ride along with a loving attentive spouse who loves them unconditionally Yes I am bitter.

I come from a really shitty environment and I have had to work like hell just to be remotely functional, and a really amazing husband did sort of fall into my lap. Some people who have had it easy in every other way don’t find the life they are looking for in life or get into crappy, even abusive marriages. Some people who are awful get great spouses.

Life just isn’t fair. There is a lot of luck involved in love.

You are in therapy right? Because it seems like you’re carrying a lot of heavy baggage and I think you could use a break and set it down for a bit.

No i am not in therapy, I have paid thousands if dollars on therapy to feel exactly the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a despicable person. Half your posts are tearing down his wife who you have zero personal relationships with.

You are an old loser. 10-years older than him with your peri-menopause grandma panties in a twist.

I’m sure everyone in the office gossips about you fawning over this younger guy

Life has given me crap so far regarding relationships, I have worked my ass off, trying to be the best person I can be and I look around and I see lazy idiotic women who had their ‘soulmates’ just fall into their laps. I deserve better than what I currently have, sorry, yes it saddens me, I hate seeing happy couples. I will never ever ever have that.

There is a reason: it’s you.

You tear down other women constantly. You covet what they have while denigrating them and calling them idiots and losers.

You haven’t found true love like then because you aren’t a good person. You are rotten inside and people can tell.

Maybe you’re right, but I am brutally honest. I have worked for everything in my life, no one has helped me, my parents were dysfunctional, poor and uneducated I have not had an easy time. When I see other people, women and men who don’t have to work for anything, mommy and daddy buy them a car, a house, a woman’s only goal in life is to marry a successful man and have kids, and then never lift a finger, I despise this. Sorry if I sound bitter and mean, I have spent years working and trying to better myself, while watching others sit back, being given a free ride along with a loving attentive spouse who loves them unconditionally Yes I am bitter.

I come from a really shitty environment and I have had to work like hell just to be remotely functional, and a really amazing husband did sort of fall into my lap. Some people who have had it easy in every other way don’t find the life they are looking for in life or get into crappy, even abusive marriages. Some people who are awful get great spouses.

Life just isn’t fair. There is a lot of luck involved in love.

You are in therapy right? Because it seems like you’re carrying a lot of heavy baggage and I think you could use a break and set it down for a bit.

What baggage are you referring to? Yeah I can avoid everything and just keep busy with my life, that’s what I’ve been doing… I just got caught up in this married man, I need to find a diversion. I’m not a bad person, I don’t want to ruin lives.

[Anonymous]

I feel like when i met this married guy, all my morals, ethics, boundaries, fell to the wayside. Nothing mattered anymore, I would do anything to get him, even taking time away from my kids. I know it’s horrible but it’s how I feel. I need to just shut off my feelings for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like when i met this married guy, all my morals, ethics, boundaries, fell to the wayside. Nothing mattered anymore, I would do anything to get him, even taking time away from my kids. I know it’s horrible but it’s how I feel. I need to just shut off my feelings for him.

^^ still I don’t think I view marriage the same way as others, I don’t hold it in such a high regard. And that’s difficult for me, there’s a disconnect there. I know I must respect marriage but it’s not natural for me. It’s not a big deal to me if my dh flirts or whatever with someone. I just don’t have that moral compass when it comes to marriage that others speak of. I don’t want to hurt anyone though and I want to fit into society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like when i met this married guy, all my morals, ethics, boundaries, fell to the wayside. Nothing mattered anymore, I would do anything to get him, even taking time away from my kids. I know it’s horrible but it’s how I feel. I need to just shut off my feelings for him.

Do you realize how unstable you sound?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like when i met this married guy, all my morals, ethics, boundaries, fell to the wayside. Nothing mattered anymore, I would do anything to get him, even taking time away from my kids. I know it’s horrible but it’s how I feel. I need to just shut off my feelings for him.

Do you realize how unstable you sound?

Yes I do, but I can shut it off and be perfectly stable. These are just thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a despicable person. Half your posts are tearing down his wife who you have zero personal relationships with.

You are an old loser. 10-years older than him with your peri-menopause grandma panties in a twist.

I’m sure everyone in the office gossips about you fawning over this younger guy

Life has given me crap so far regarding relationships, I have worked my ass off, trying to be the best person I can be and I look around and I see lazy idiotic women who had their ‘soulmates’ just fall into their laps. I deserve better than what I currently have, sorry, yes it saddens me, I hate seeing happy couples. I will never ever ever have that.

There is a reason: it’s you.

You tear down other women constantly. You covet what they have while denigrating them and calling them idiots and losers.

You haven’t found true love like then because you aren’t a good person. You are rotten inside and people can tell.

Maybe you’re right, but I am brutally honest. I have worked for everything in my life, no one has helped me, my parents were dysfunctional, poor and uneducated I have not had an easy time. When I see other people, women and men who don’t have to work for anything, mommy and daddy buy them a car, a house, a woman’s only goal in life is to marry a successful man and have kids, and then never lift a finger, I despise this. Sorry if I sound bitter and mean, I have spent years working and trying to better myself, while watching others sit back, being given a free ride along with a loving attentive spouse who loves them unconditionally Yes I am bitter.

I come from a really shitty environment and I have had to work like hell just to be remotely functional, and a really amazing husband did sort of fall into my lap. Some people who have had it easy in every other way don’t find the life they are looking for in life or get into crappy, even abusive marriages. Some people who are awful get great spouses.

Life just isn’t fair. There is a lot of luck involved in love.

You are in therapy right? Because it seems like you’re carrying a lot of heavy baggage and I think you could use a break and set it down for a bit.

No i am not in therapy, I have paid thousands if dollars on therapy to feel exactly the same.

Therapy is not a magic fix, you have to DO THE WORK. You don’t seem to have a ton of self-awareness, or gratitude for what you do have in life. You husband also seems like a nonentity in your mind. Even if I had no “passion” for my husband, I would still love and respect him as the father of my children if he were a decent guy. You seem so wildly absorbed in your sense of grievance.