Son and DIL insulting vacation we paid for

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is this weird obsession with differentiating between trip and vacation? I don't even understand the difference. Maybe because I've done that sort of beach rental/OBx kind of thing only once?

It’s a jokey thing parents with young kids say because traveling with kids is a trip (can be fun but is work) not a vacation (relaxing). Destination may even be amazing but, unless you have childcare, there is no sleeping in and lounging lazily on the beach. Anyway, not sure where it originated but it’s just a saying and is not specific to beach rentals.

This. It’s not knocking the place it’s saying going with little kids isn’t a true vacation because they are so much work. If anything, it’s an “ugh these kids are a handful, remember when we could actually relax on vacation?” comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is a little sad. I love my mom and I would feel bad complaining nonstop about a house she had rented for us. I even have my own issues with my MIL but I would never want her to feel like I hated a vacation she planned. Even when it doesn’t quite work out, they both put great effort into planning family functions. I don’t know about OP, but I know my MIL and mom would be over the moon to vacation with us and family is so important to them. It would feel mean to actively burst their bubble the whole trip.

Agree.
This spring I took my kids to visit my dad where he lives during the winter. He rented us all a place on the beach. It wasn’t exactly up to my standards, but I made the best of it and we had a great time. It was my choice to use my time off for the trip, nobody forced me onto the plane at gun point. My dad made all of the arrangements and paid for them-it didn’t occur to me to complain in front of him, that would have been rude and cruel, not to mention setting a horrible example for my kids that may come back to bite me someday!

This is sweet and, barring actual toxic and dysfunctional family situations which should be handled maturely, we should all remember to treat family kindly. One day you’ll be the grandma that doesn’t quite do it right…proceed wisely!

Key words here. Time to step up and communicate in a caring, warm manner, OP - don't be a petulant child.

You don't think the whining adults are acting a wee bit childish?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is this weird obsession with differentiating between trip and vacation? I don't even understand the difference. Maybe because I've done that sort of beach rental/OBx kind of thing only once?

It’s a jokey thing parents with young kids say because traveling with kids is a trip (can be fun but is work) not a vacation (relaxing). Destination may even be amazing but, unless you have childcare, there is no sleeping in and lounging lazily on the beach. Anyway, not sure where it originated but it’s just a saying and is not specific to beach rentals.

This. It’s not knocking the place it’s saying going with little kids isn’t a true vacation because they are so much work. If anything, it’s an “ugh these kids are a handful, remember when we could actually relax on vacation?” comment.

Once is a joke but repeating the same joke over and over would be annoying to those forced to listen. I'm sure they got it the first time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is a little sad. I love my mom and I would feel bad complaining nonstop about a house she had rented for us. I even have my own issues with my MIL but I would never want her to feel like I hated a vacation she planned. Even when it doesn’t quite work out, they both put great effort into planning family functions. I don’t know about OP, but I know my MIL and mom would be over the moon to vacation with us and family is so important to them. It would feel mean to actively burst their bubble the whole trip.

Agree.
This spring I took my kids to visit my dad where he lives during the winter. He rented us all a place on the beach. It wasn’t exactly up to my standards, but I made the best of it and we had a great time. It was my choice to use my time off for the trip, nobody forced me onto the plane at gun point. My dad made all of the arrangements and paid for them-it didn’t occur to me to complain in front of him, that would have been rude and cruel, not to mention setting a horrible example for my kids that may come back to bite me someday!

This is sweet and, barring actual toxic and dysfunctional family situations which should be handled maturely, we should all remember to treat family kindly. One day you’ll be the grandma that doesn’t quite do it right…proceed wisely!

Key words here. Time to step up and communicate in a caring, warm manner, OP - don't be a petulant child.

You don't think the whining adults are acting a wee bit childish?

Exactly! I’m usually pro adult child/dil on these threads because I can relate but I just can’t relate to defending constant complaining on a vacation to the person who organized it. Who are these posters saying “well, then OP didn’t do good enough?”. It’s rude to passively aggressively complain the whole time, no excuse. Son needs to leave early or go get a hotel room or shut it and decline the invite next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is a little sad. I love my mom and I would feel bad complaining nonstop about a house she had rented for us. I even have my own issues with my MIL but I would never want her to feel like I hated a vacation she planned. Even when it doesn’t quite work out, they both put great effort into planning family functions. I don’t know about OP, but I know my MIL and mom would be over the moon to vacation with us and family is so important to them. It would feel mean to actively burst their bubble the whole trip.

Agree.
This spring I took my kids to visit my dad where he lives during the winter. He rented us all a place on the beach. It wasn’t exactly up to my standards, but I made the best of it and we had a great time. It was my choice to use my time off for the trip, nobody forced me onto the plane at gun point. My dad made all of the arrangements and paid for them-it didn’t occur to me to complain in front of him, that would have been rude and cruel, not to mention setting a horrible example for my kids that may come back to bite me someday!

This is sweet and, barring actual toxic and dysfunctional family situations which should be handled maturely, we should all remember to treat family kindly. One day you’ll be the grandma that doesn’t quite do it right…proceed wisely!

Key words here. Time to step up and communicate in a caring, warm manner, OP - don't be a petulant child.

Exactly and if this was one of my siblings and their spouse I would have told them to STFU already after 1 day.

You don't think the whining adults are acting a wee bit childish?

Exactly! I’m usually pro adult child/dil on these threads because I can relate but I just can’t relate to defending constant complaining on a vacation to the person who organized it. Who are these posters saying “well, then OP didn’t do good enough?”. It’s rude to passively aggressively complain the whole time, no excuse. Son needs to leave early or go get a hotel room or shut it and decline the invite next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is a little sad. I love my mom and I would feel bad complaining nonstop about a house she had rented for us. I even have my own issues with my MIL but I would never want her to feel like I hated a vacation she planned. Even when it doesn’t quite work out, they both put great effort into planning family functions. I don’t know about OP, but I know my MIL and mom would be over the moon to vacation with us and family is so important to them. It would feel mean to actively burst their bubble the whole trip.

Agree.
This spring I took my kids to visit my dad where he lives during the winter. He rented us all a place on the beach. It wasn’t exactly up to my standards, but I made the best of it and we had a great time. It was my choice to use my time off for the trip, nobody forced me onto the plane at gun point. My dad made all of the arrangements and paid for them-it didn’t occur to me to complain in front of him, that would have been rude and cruel, not to mention setting a horrible example for my kids that may come back to bite me someday!

This is sweet and, barring actual toxic and dysfunctional family situations which should be handled maturely, we should all remember to treat family kindly. One day you’ll be the grandma that doesn’t quite do it right…proceed wisely!

Key words here. Time to step up and communicate in a caring, warm manner, OP - don't be a petulant child.

You don't think the whining adults are acting a wee bit childish?

Exactly! I’m usually pro adult child/dil on these threads because I can relate but I just can’t relate to defending constant complaining on a vacation to the person who organized it. Who are these posters saying “well, then OP didn’t do good enough?”. It’s rude to passively aggressively complain the whole time, no excuse. Son needs to leave early or go get a hotel room or shut it and decline the invite next year.

Exactly and if this was one of my siblings and their spouse I would have told them to STFU already after 1 day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is this weird obsession with differentiating between trip and vacation? I don't even understand the difference. Maybe because I've done that sort of beach rental/OBx kind of thing only once?

It’s a jokey thing parents with young kids say because traveling with kids is a trip (can be fun but is work) not a vacation (relaxing). Destination may even be amazing but, unless you have childcare, there is no sleeping in and lounging lazily on the beach. Anyway, not sure where it originated but it’s just a saying and is not specific to beach rentals.

This. It’s not knocking the place it’s saying going with little kids isn’t a true vacation because they are so much work. If anything, it’s an “ugh these kids are a handful, remember when we could actually relax on vacation?” comment.

Once is a joke but repeating the same joke over and over would be annoying to those forced to listen. I'm sure they got it the first time.

But it is totally true. DP here. It is especially true if the grandparents were awful parents- then they are awful grandparents, and do nothing with the grandchildren. What is the point of the parents packing up, schlepping to someplace they don't even like, taking extra time off, and having extra work, when the grandparents don't even engage? Most DILs would gladly pick a place, pay for the rental and do the work, without complaint, if the grandparents were decent.

Even worse when the grandparents live 20 minutes away and barely see the grandkids. As if this whole beach trip from hell thing is just for bragging rights and complaining about the DIL's - and it seems like OP is one of those. Go tell your bridge club how rotten your DIL is, OP. I am sure they would love to match stories with you, for something to talk about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is a little sad. I love my mom and I would feel bad complaining nonstop about a house she had rented for us. I even have my own issues with my MIL but I would never want her to feel like I hated a vacation she planned. Even when it doesn’t quite work out, they both put great effort into planning family functions. I don’t know about OP, but I know my MIL and mom would be over the moon to vacation with us and family is so important to them. It would feel mean to actively burst their bubble the whole trip.

Agree.
This spring I took my kids to visit my dad where he lives during the winter. He rented us all a place on the beach. It wasn’t exactly up to my standards, but I made the best of it and we had a great time. It was my choice to use my time off for the trip, nobody forced me onto the plane at gun point. My dad made all of the arrangements and paid for them-it didn’t occur to me to complain in front of him, that would have been rude and cruel, not to mention setting a horrible example for my kids that may come back to bite me someday!

This is sweet and, barring actual toxic and dysfunctional family situations which should be handled maturely, we should all remember to treat family kindly. One day you’ll be the grandma that doesn’t quite do it right…proceed wisely!

Key words here. Time to step up and communicate in a caring, warm manner, OP - don't be a petulant child.

You don't think the whining adults are acting a wee bit childish?

Exactly! I’m usually pro adult child/dil on these threads because I can relate but I just can’t relate to defending constant complaining on a vacation to the person who organized it. Who are these posters saying “well, then OP didn’t do good enough?”. It’s rude to passively aggressively complain the whole time, no excuse. Son needs to leave early or go get a hotel room or shut it and decline the invite next year.

And my MIL can be very annoying but even I’d tell my DH to stop complaining to his mom and run into town for some blackout curtains or something. Grow up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is a little sad. I love my mom and I would feel bad complaining nonstop about a house she had rented for us. I even have my own issues with my MIL but I would never want her to feel like I hated a vacation she planned. Even when it doesn’t quite work out, they both put great effort into planning family functions. I don’t know about OP, but I know my MIL and mom would be over the moon to vacation with us and family is so important to them. It would feel mean to actively burst their bubble the whole trip.

Agree.
This spring I took my kids to visit my dad where he lives during the winter. He rented us all a place on the beach. It wasn’t exactly up to my standards, but I made the best of it and we had a great time. It was my choice to use my time off for the trip, nobody forced me onto the plane at gun point. My dad made all of the arrangements and paid for them-it didn’t occur to me to complain in front of him, that would have been rude and cruel, not to mention setting a horrible example for my kids that may come back to bite me someday!

This is sweet and, barring actual toxic and dysfunctional family situations which should be handled maturely, we should all remember to treat family kindly. One day you’ll be the grandma that doesn’t quite do it right…proceed wisely!

Key words here. Time to step up and communicate in a caring, warm manner, OP - don't be a petulant child.

Exactly and if this was one of my siblings and their spouse I would have told them to STFU already after 1 day.

You don't think the whining adults are acting a wee bit childish?

Exactly! I’m usually pro adult child/dil on these threads because I can relate but I just can’t relate to defending constant complaining on a vacation to the person who organized it. Who are these posters saying “well, then OP didn’t do good enough?”. It’s rude to passively aggressively complain the whole time, no excuse. Son needs to leave early or go get a hotel room or shut it and decline the invite next year.

Com-paining about a throw pillow is not attacking OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is this weird obsession with differentiating between trip and vacation? I don't even understand the difference. Maybe because I've done that sort of beach rental/OBx kind of thing only once?

It’s a jokey thing parents with young kids say because traveling with kids is a trip (can be fun but is work) not a vacation (relaxing). Destination may even be amazing but, unless you have childcare, there is no sleeping in and lounging lazily on the beach. Anyway, not sure where it originated but it’s just a saying and is not specific to beach rentals.

This. It’s not knocking the place it’s saying going with little kids isn’t a true vacation because they are so much work. If anything, it’s an “ugh these kids are a handful, remember when we could actually relax on vacation?” comment.

Once is a joke but repeating the same joke over and over would be annoying to those forced to listen. I'm sure they got it the first time.

But it is totally true. DP here. It is especially true if the grandparents were awful parents- then they are awful grandparents, and do nothing with the grandchildren. What is the point of the parents packing up, schlepping to someplace they don't even like, taking extra time off, and having extra work, when the grandparents don't even engage? Most DILs would gladly pick a place, pay for the rental and do the work, without complaint, if the grandparents were decent.

Even worse when the grandparents live 20 minutes away and barely see the grandkids. As if this whole beach trip from hell thing is just for bragging rights and complaining about the DIL's - and it seems like OP is one of those. Go tell your bridge club how rotten your DIL is, OP. I am sure they would love to match stories with you, for something to talk about.

Stop projecting your BS here. Nobody cares about your dysfunctional family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is a little sad. I love my mom and I would feel bad complaining nonstop about a house she had rented for us. I even have my own issues with my MIL but I would never want her to feel like I hated a vacation she planned. Even when it doesn’t quite work out, they both put great effort into planning family functions. I don’t know about OP, but I know my MIL and mom would be over the moon to vacation with us and family is so important to them. It would feel mean to actively burst their bubble the whole trip.

Agree.
This spring I took my kids to visit my dad where he lives during the winter. He rented us all a place on the beach. It wasn’t exactly up to my standards, but I made the best of it and we had a great time. It was my choice to use my time off for the trip, nobody forced me onto the plane at gun point. My dad made all of the arrangements and paid for them-it didn’t occur to me to complain in front of him, that would have been rude and cruel, not to mention setting a horrible example for my kids that may come back to bite me someday!

This is sweet and, barring actual toxic and dysfunctional family situations which should be handled maturely, we should all remember to treat family kindly. One day you’ll be the grandma that doesn’t quite do it right…proceed wisely!

Key words here. Time to step up and communicate in a caring, warm manner, OP - don't be a petulant child.

Maybe, I don't know them. This might bee about something else entirely. Not only that, OP can use her words - she is a big girl!
You don't think the whining adults are acting a wee bit childish?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is this weird obsession with differentiating between trip and vacation? I don't even understand the difference. Maybe because I've done that sort of beach rental/OBx kind of thing only once?

It’s a jokey thing parents with young kids say because traveling with kids is a trip (can be fun but is work) not a vacation (relaxing). Destination may even be amazing but, unless you have childcare, there is no sleeping in and lounging lazily on the beach. Anyway, not sure where it originated but it’s just a saying and is not specific to beach rentals.

This. It’s not knocking the place it’s saying going with little kids isn’t a true vacation because they are so much work. If anything, it’s an “ugh these kids are a handful, remember when we could actually relax on vacation?” comment.

Once is a joke but repeating the same joke over and over would be annoying to those forced to listen. I'm sure they got it the first time.

But it is totally true. DP here. It is especially true if the grandparents were awful parents- then they are awful grandparents, and do nothing with the grandchildren. What is the point of the parents packing up, schlepping to someplace they don't even like, taking extra time off, and having extra work, when the grandparents don't even engage? Most DILs would gladly pick a place, pay for the rental and do the work, without complaint, if the grandparents were decent.

Even worse when the grandparents live 20 minutes away and barely see the grandkids. As if this whole beach trip from hell thing is just for bragging rights and complaining about the DIL's - and it seems like OP is one of those. Go tell your bridge club how rotten your DIL is, OP. I am sure they would love to match stories with you, for something to talk about.

Stop projecting your BS here. Nobody cares about your dysfunctional family.

HAHHAHAHAHA except it's not my family. Hilarious! Thank you for this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is a little sad. I love my mom and I would feel bad complaining nonstop about a house she had rented for us. I even have my own issues with my MIL but I would never want her to feel like I hated a vacation she planned. Even when it doesn’t quite work out, they both put great effort into planning family functions. I don’t know about OP, but I know my MIL and mom would be over the moon to vacation with us and family is so important to them. It would feel mean to actively burst their bubble the whole trip.

Agree.
This spring I took my kids to visit my dad where he lives during the winter. He rented us all a place on the beach. It wasn’t exactly up to my standards, but I made the best of it and we had a great time. It was my choice to use my time off for the trip, nobody forced me onto the plane at gun point. My dad made all of the arrangements and paid for them-it didn’t occur to me to complain in front of him, that would have been rude and cruel, not to mention setting a horrible example for my kids that may come back to bite me someday!

This is sweet and, barring actual toxic and dysfunctional family situations which should be handled maturely, we should all remember to treat family kindly. One day you’ll be the grandma that doesn’t quite do it right…proceed wisely!

Key words here. Time to step up and communicate in a caring, warm manner, OP - don't be a petulant child.

Exactly and if this was one of my siblings and their spouse I would have told them to STFU already after 1 day.

You don't think the whining adults are acting a wee bit childish?

Exactly! I’m usually pro adult child/dil on these threads because I can relate but I just can’t relate to defending constant complaining on a vacation to the person who organized it. Who are these posters saying “well, then OP didn’t do good enough?”. It’s rude to passively aggressively complain the whole time, no excuse. Son needs to leave early or go get a hotel room or shut it and decline the invite next year.

Com-paining about a throw pillow is not attacking OP.

*complaining LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is a little sad. I love my mom and I would feel bad complaining nonstop about a house she had rented for us. I even have my own issues with my MIL but I would never want her to feel like I hated a vacation she planned. Even when it doesn’t quite work out, they both put great effort into planning family functions. I don’t know about OP, but I know my MIL and mom would be over the moon to vacation with us and family is so important to them. It would feel mean to actively burst their bubble the whole trip.

Agree.
This spring I took my kids to visit my dad where he lives during the winter. He rented us all a place on the beach. It wasn’t exactly up to my standards, but I made the best of it and we had a great time. It was my choice to use my time off for the trip, nobody forced me onto the plane at gun point. My dad made all of the arrangements and paid for them-it didn’t occur to me to complain in front of him, that would have been rude and cruel, not to mention setting a horrible example for my kids that may come back to bite me someday!

This is sweet and, barring actual toxic and dysfunctional family situations which should be handled maturely, we should all remember to treat family kindly. One day you’ll be the grandma that doesn’t quite do it right…proceed wisely!

Key words here. Time to step up and communicate in a caring, warm manner, OP - don't be a petulant child.

You don't think the whining adults are acting a wee bit childish?

Exactly! I’m usually pro adult child/dil on these threads because I can relate but I just can’t relate to defending constant complaining on a vacation to the person who organized it. Who are these posters saying “well, then OP didn’t do good enough?”. It’s rude to passively aggressively complain the whole time, no excuse. Son needs to leave early or go get a hotel room or shut it and decline the invite next year.

Exactly and if this was one of my siblings and their spouse I would have told them to STFU already after 1 day.

There is a nicer way to do this, but I can see your issue (ahem) here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is this weird obsession with differentiating between trip and vacation? I don't even understand the difference. Maybe because I've done that sort of beach rental/OBx kind of thing only once?

It’s a jokey thing parents with young kids say because traveling with kids is a trip (can be fun but is work) not a vacation (relaxing). Destination may even be amazing but, unless you have childcare, there is no sleeping in and lounging lazily on the beach. Anyway, not sure where it originated but it’s just a saying and is not specific to beach rentals.

This. It’s not knocking the place it’s saying going with little kids isn’t a true vacation because they are so much work. If anything, it’s an “ugh these kids are a handful, remember when we could actually relax on vacation?” comment.

Once is a joke but repeating the same joke over and over would be annoying to those forced to listen. I'm sure they got it the first time.

But it is totally true. DP here. It is especially true if the grandparents were awful parents- then they are awful grandparents, and do nothing with the grandchildren. What is the point of the parents packing up, schlepping to someplace they don't even like, taking extra time off, and having extra work, when the grandparents don't even engage? Most DILs would gladly pick a place, pay for the rental and do the work, without complaint, if the grandparents were decent.

Even worse when the grandparents live 20 minutes away and barely see the grandkids. As if this whole beach trip from hell thing is just for bragging rights and complaining about the DIL's - and it seems like OP is one of those. Go tell your bridge club how rotten your DIL is, OP. I am sure they would love to match stories with you, for something to talk about.

Stop projecting your BS here. Nobody cares about your dysfunctional family.

HAHHAHAHAHA except it's not my family. Hilarious! Thank you for this!

None of this has anything to do with OP.