Discrepancy between you want vs what you can get

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

OP here. After putting myself through college and graduate school and acquiring a fulfilling and interesting policy job, I really do not want to marry some average joe making 100k a year so we can squeeze into a 500k townhouse in Vienna and take yearly vacations to OBX.

I want a SHF in Chevy Chase, private school for my kids and international vacations.

Why NOT me? Only because I am not blonde and skinny?

Its depressing.

OP- you waited too long. Those of us met those guys and married them by 30.

I have a Master’s Degree and work in similar field. I have the life/husband you are looking for. Almost all of my girlfriends do as well and the lady of us married at 33.

I loathe this smug attitude by women who married young. They think it is some grand personal achievement and that it is some symbol that they are special or superior to other women, that they are better at life. You didn’t cure cancer or negotiate world peace, you walked down an aisle. So get over yourselves.

Not PP and I don’t see a hint of smugness. You’re just mad because it’s a hard truth.

But I guess you have me with that last part. I do think I’m better at life. The proof is in the pudding.

Ugh. Really? Gross. No, not “a hint of smugness at all.”

Well I got married young (DH was also mid 20s, not some gross old man) had kids young while launching two successful careers and now we are happy and rich. I’m quite smug. But I’m also not the PP who told you nicely.

It is much easier to marry young and then launch your career, with all the support. The only advantage you had over other women is good looks which attracted the right guy. Many girls like you also marry young and they end up divorced with kids by their 40s.

You are not in any way better, or more positive example! I married myself at 25, divorced at 43. I was thin, tall and modeled part time. It was extremely easy for me to marry a rich guy (much easier than studies and career)

You are just feeding PP’s gigantic ego by assuming that she is good looking. I’ve seen many examples of young, handsome wealthy guys marrying plainer women than you might expect.

She's probably good looking but also stupid if this is feeding her ego. Beauty attracts all kids of wrong guys /cheaters etc

Ok I’ll tell you my secret. It’s not gorgeous looks. My husband is Asian. Not being a racist dater would have helped a lot of my peers. Alas.

[Anonymous]

I get where OP is coming from. I really do. I have friends like her (highly educated women in their 30s with meaningful jobs), and I've always encouraged them not to "settle". Here is where they are today: one is married to a short man who is on the spectrum, another to an underemployed PhD, and the third just got out of another failed relationship with "an average Joe".

I think they deserve better, but I've also observed that highly motivated, successful men tend to go for pretty, thin, and young(ish) women. In the DC area, there are plenty of women who are pretty AND educated AND successful. Why would these men, given their options, date and marry women who are not conventionally attractive?

For reference, I am conventionally attractive but not a knockout, and I'm married to a fed making the kind of salary OP would scoff at. We got married in our late 20s, live in Bethesda, our kids go to public school, and we go on international trips every 2-3 years. I am happy with my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

OP here. After putting myself through college and graduate school and acquiring a fulfilling and interesting policy job, I really do not want to marry some average joe making 100k a year so we can squeeze into a 500k townhouse in Vienna and take yearly vacations to OBX.

I want a SHF in Chevy Chase, private school for my kids and international vacations.

Why NOT me? Only because I am not blonde and skinny?

Its depressing.

Is this real? If it is, and these are really your aspirations, you need to realize them by yourself. If you’re in your late 30s, your potential dating pool is divorced men, and they will not be interested in providing this kind of lifestyle to a second wife.

I’d double down on making more friends, traveling with friends, and enjoying life as it is.

She can't afford traveling with kids on her income it's very low for DC (OP, do you rent/own/roommate arrangement?). She needs a second earner/husband for "economy of scale", at least someone making the same 100K.

I said nothing about kids. I said traveling with friends.

Pardon, a typo. 100K after tax is 75K. Yes, she probably can afford one 10K vacation/year or two $5K hiking/camping trips with friends if her housing is under $2K

She's single in her late 30s, she says she isn't conventionally attractive, and she doesn't want to settle for some kind of "Joe Average" because she wants something more than what Joe Average can offer her. The title of her post is about the discrepancy between what she wants and what she can get. So my suggestion is that she focus on building the life she wants as a single person. Then she's not settling for Joe Average.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

OP here. After putting myself through college and graduate school and acquiring a fulfilling and interesting policy job, I really do not want to marry some average joe making 100k a year so we can squeeze into a 500k townhouse in Vienna and take yearly vacations to OBX.

I want a SHF in Chevy Chase, private school for my kids and international vacations.

Why NOT me? Only because I am not blonde and skinny?

Its depressing.

OP- you waited too long. Those of us met those guys and married them by 30.

I have a Master’s Degree and work in similar field. I have the life/husband you are looking for. Almost all of my girlfriends do as well and the lady of us married at 33.

I loathe this smug attitude by women who married young. They think it is some grand personal achievement and that it is some symbol that they are special or superior to other women, that they are better at life. You didn’t cure cancer or negotiate world peace, you walked down an aisle. So get over yourselves.

Not PP and I don’t see a hint of smugness. You’re just mad because it’s a hard truth.

But I guess you have me with that last part. I do think I’m better at life. The proof is in the pudding.

Ugh. Really? Gross. No, not “a hint of smugness at all.”

Well I got married young (DH was also mid 20s, not some gross old man) had kids young while launching two successful careers and now we are happy and rich. I’m quite smug. But I’m also not the PP who told you nicely.

It is much easier to marry young and then launch your career, with all the support. The only advantage you had over other women is good looks which attracted the right guy. Many girls like you also marry young and they end up divorced with kids by their 40s.

You are not in any way better, or more positive example! I married myself at 25, divorced at 43. I was thin, tall and modeled part time. It was extremely easy for me to marry a rich guy (much easier than studies and career)

You are just feeding PP’s gigantic ego by assuming that she is good looking. I’ve seen many examples of young, handsome wealthy guys marrying plainer women than you might expect.

She's probably good looking but also stupid if this is feeding her ego. Beauty attracts all kids of wrong guys /cheaters etc

This. And not every handsome wealthy guy is a Prince Charming. Many are spoiled, selfish, arrogant, cold, and narcissistic and they can never love anyone as much as they love themselves. Stop putting them on pedestals.

This is absolutely true. People with no experience of dating affluent guys don't understand this. They got affluent for a reason, and if it is family money they are even more entitled plus it will be protected by a trust and state laws and will never be yours in life or in divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

OP here. After putting myself through college and graduate school and acquiring a fulfilling and interesting policy job, I really do not want to marry some average joe making 100k a year so we can squeeze into a 500k townhouse in Vienna and take yearly vacations to OBX.

I want a SHF in Chevy Chase, private school for my kids and international vacations.

Why NOT me? Only because I am not blonde and skinny?

Its depressing.

OP- you waited too long. Those of us met those guys and married them by 30.

I have a Master’s Degree and work in similar field. I have the life/husband you are looking for. Almost all of my girlfriends do as well and the lady of us married at 33.

I loathe this smug attitude by women who married young. They think it is some grand personal achievement and that it is some symbol that they are special or superior to other women, that they are better at life. You didn’t cure cancer or negotiate world peace, you walked down an aisle. So get over yourselves.

Not PP and I don’t see a hint of smugness. You’re just mad because it’s a hard truth.

But I guess you have me with that last part. I do think I’m better at life. The proof is in the pudding.

Ugh. Really? Gross. No, not “a hint of smugness at all.”

Well I got married young (DH was also mid 20s, not some gross old man) had kids young while launching two successful careers and now we are happy and rich. I’m quite smug. But I’m also not the PP who told you nicely.

It is much easier to marry young and then launch your career, with all the support. The only advantage you had over other women is good looks which attracted the right guy. Many girls like you also marry young and they end up divorced with kids by their 40s.

You are not in any way better, or more positive example! I married myself at 25, divorced at 43. I was thin, tall and modeled part time. It was extremely easy for me to marry a rich guy (much easier than studies and career)

You are just feeding PP’s gigantic ego by assuming that she is good looking. I’ve seen many examples of young, handsome wealthy guys marrying plainer women than you might expect.

She's probably good looking but also stupid if this is feeding her ego. Beauty attracts all kids of wrong guys /cheaters etc

Ok I’ll tell you my secret. It’s not gorgeous looks. My husband is Asian. Not being a racist dater would have helped a lot of my peers. Alas.

Other girls may not be necessarily racist. My cousin sister is married to an Asian IT guy. He makes shit load of money, but there is a certain dynamics in Asian families. Their in-laws are usually pretty dominant over wife, wives have low weight in the families until grand children come.In-laws would visit every day and live nearby. My cousin's in-laws unilaterally moved into her house when her baby was born, under a pretext of "helping". Its the husband's mom who rules the young family.

Not every US woman would want this, even for big buck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:30s is just too old. No successful guy wants to date 30s

This is spectacularly false, although it is geographically bound. The further inland you go, and the more provincial you are, the truer this is. Big city and coastal people have zero problem with it, most women are at their hottest from 28-42.

subtract 8 from your lower number and 12 from your higher number and you're spot on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

OP here. After putting myself through college and graduate school and acquiring a fulfilling and interesting policy job, I really do not want to marry some average joe making 100k a year so we can squeeze into a 500k townhouse in Vienna and take yearly vacations to OBX.

I want a SHF in Chevy Chase, private school for my kids and international vacations.

Why NOT me? Only because I am not blonde and skinny?

Its depressing.

OP- you waited too long. Those of us met those guys and married them by 30.

I have a Master’s Degree and work in similar field. I have the life/husband you are looking for. Almost all of my girlfriends do as well and the lady of us married at 33.

I loathe this smug attitude by women who married young. They think it is some grand personal achievement and that it is some symbol that they are special or superior to other women, that they are better at life. You didn’t cure cancer or negotiate world peace, you walked down an aisle. So get over yourselves.

Not PP and I don’t see a hint of smugness. You’re just mad because it’s a hard truth.

But I guess you have me with that last part. I do think I’m better at life. The proof is in the pudding.

Ugh. Really? Gross. No, not “a hint of smugness at all.”

Well I got married young (DH was also mid 20s, not some gross old man) had kids young while launching two successful careers and now we are happy and rich. I’m quite smug. But I’m also not the PP who told you nicely.

It is much easier to marry young and then launch your career, with all the support. The only advantage you had over other women is good looks which attracted the right guy. Many girls like you also marry young and they end up divorced with kids by their 40s.

You are not in any way better, or more positive example! I married myself at 25, divorced at 43. I was thin, tall and modeled part time. It was extremely easy for me to marry a rich guy (much easier than studies and career)

You are just feeding PP’s gigantic ego by assuming that she is good looking. I’ve seen many examples of young, handsome wealthy guys marrying plainer women than you might expect.

She's probably good looking but also stupid if this is feeding her ego. Beauty attracts all kids of wrong guys /cheaters etc

This. And not every handsome wealthy guy is a Prince Charming. Many are spoiled, selfish, arrogant, cold, and narcissistic and they can never love anyone as much as they love themselves. Stop putting them on pedestals.

This is absolutely true. People with no experience of dating affluent guys don't understand this. They got affluent for a reason, and if it is family money they are even more entitled plus it will be protected by a trust and state laws and will never be yours in life or in divorce.

The other thing is that they tend to marry someone of the same class and there are 1000 little tells that give them that information. If you are not of the same class you had better bring something valuable to the table: either amazing looks, great connections (unclear how you would have them if not through a top degree or successful career), or a really virtuous/good personality that also makes clear you are not a gold digger. These guys have ESP for gold diggers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

OP here. After putting myself through college and graduate school and acquiring a fulfilling and interesting policy job, I really do not want to marry some average joe making 100k a year so we can squeeze into a 500k townhouse in Vienna and take yearly vacations to OBX.

I want a SHF in Chevy Chase, private school for my kids and international vacations.

Why NOT me? Only because I am not blonde and skinny?

Its depressing.

OP- you waited too long. Those of us met those guys and married them by 30.

I have a Master’s Degree and work in similar field. I have the life/husband you are looking for. Almost all of my girlfriends do as well and the lady of us married at 33.

I loathe this smug attitude by women who married young. They think it is some grand personal achievement and that it is some symbol that they are special or superior to other women, that they are better at life. You didn’t cure cancer or negotiate world peace, you walked down an aisle. So get over yourselves.

Not PP and I don’t see a hint of smugness. You’re just mad because it’s a hard truth.

But I guess you have me with that last part. I do think I’m better at life. The proof is in the pudding.

Ugh. Really? Gross. No, not “a hint of smugness at all.”

Well I got married young (DH was also mid 20s, not some gross old man) had kids young while launching two successful careers and now we are happy and rich. I’m quite smug. But I’m also not the PP who told you nicely.

It is much easier to marry young and then launch your career, with all the support. The only advantage you had over other women is good looks which attracted the right guy. Many girls like you also marry young and they end up divorced with kids by their 40s.

You are not in any way better, or more positive example! I married myself at 25, divorced at 43. I was thin, tall and modeled part time. It was extremely easy for me to marry a rich guy (much easier than studies and career)

You are just feeding PP’s gigantic ego by assuming that she is good looking. I’ve seen many examples of young, handsome wealthy guys marrying plainer women than you might expect.

She's probably good looking but also stupid if this is feeding her ego. Beauty attracts all kids of wrong guys /cheaters etc

Ok I’ll tell you my secret. It’s not gorgeous looks. My husband is Asian. Not being a racist dater would have helped a lot of my peers. Alas.

Other girls may not be necessarily racist. My cousin sister is married to an Asian IT guy. He makes shit load of money, but there is a certain dynamics in Asian families. Their in-laws are usually pretty dominant over wife, wives have low weight in the families until grand children come.In-laws would visit every day and live nearby. My cousin's in-laws unilaterally moved into her house when her baby was born, under a pretext of "helping". Its the husband's mom who rules the young family.

Not every US woman would want this, even for big buck!

If white in laws were so much easier to get along with this board would have 20% fewer threads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

OP here. After putting myself through college and graduate school and acquiring a fulfilling and interesting policy job, I really do not want to marry some average joe making 100k a year so we can squeeze into a 500k townhouse in Vienna and take yearly vacations to OBX.

I want a SHF in Chevy Chase, private school for my kids and international vacations.

Why NOT me? Only because I am not blonde and skinny?

Its depressing.

OP- you waited too long. Those of us met those guys and married them by 30.

I have a Master’s Degree and work in similar field. I have the life/husband you are looking for. Almost all of my girlfriends do as well and the lady of us married at 33.

I loathe this smug attitude by women who married young. They think it is some grand personal achievement and that it is some symbol that they are special or superior to other women, that they are better at life. You didn’t cure cancer or negotiate world peace, you walked down an aisle. So get over yourselves.

Not PP and I don’t see a hint of smugness. You’re just mad because it’s a hard truth.

But I guess you have me with that last part. I do think I’m better at life. The proof is in the pudding.

Ugh. Really? Gross. No, not “a hint of smugness at all.”

Well I got married young (DH was also mid 20s, not some gross old man) had kids young while launching two successful careers and now we are happy and rich. I’m quite smug. But I’m also not the PP who told you nicely.

It is much easier to marry young and then launch your career, with all the support. The only advantage you had over other women is good looks which attracted the right guy. Many girls like you also marry young and they end up divorced with kids by their 40s.

You are not in any way better, or more positive example! I married myself at 25, divorced at 43. I was thin, tall and modeled part time. It was extremely easy for me to marry a rich guy (much easier than studies and career)

You are just feeding PP’s gigantic ego by assuming that she is good looking. I’ve seen many examples of young, handsome wealthy guys marrying plainer women than you might expect.

She's probably good looking but also stupid if this is feeding her ego. Beauty attracts all kids of wrong guys /cheaters etc

This. And not every handsome wealthy guy is a Prince Charming. Many are spoiled, selfish, arrogant, cold, and narcissistic and they can never love anyone as much as they love themselves. Stop putting them on pedestals.

This is absolutely true. People with no experience of dating affluent guys don't understand this. They got affluent for a reason, and if it is family money they are even more entitled plus it will be protected by a trust and state laws and will never be yours in life or in divorce.

And if they don't have a family trust, they got where they are thanks to certain life skills. These skills are not necessarily positive: my exH was extremely aggressive in career, back stubber at work and at home, narc, cold, full of self fulfilling prophecy, critical of others particular women. When he got extremely wealthy (and I was a firm backup on the 'home front"), he quickly "upgraded" me to a younger woman.

I am not looking at wealthy shallow guys since him, only those who are warm and kind (and make equivalent of what I make).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

OP here. After putting myself through college and graduate school and acquiring a fulfilling and interesting policy job, I really do not want to marry some average joe making 100k a year so we can squeeze into a 500k townhouse in Vienna and take yearly vacations to OBX.

I want a SHF in Chevy Chase, private school for my kids and international vacations.

Why NOT me? Only because I am not blonde and skinny?

Its depressing.

OP- you waited too long. Those of us met those guys and married them by 30.

I have a Master’s Degree and work in similar field. I have the life/husband you are looking for. Almost all of my girlfriends do as well and the lady of us married at 33.

I loathe this smug attitude by women who married young. They think it is some grand personal achievement and that it is some symbol that they are special or superior to other women, that they are better at life. You didn’t cure cancer or negotiate world peace, you walked down an aisle. So get over yourselves.

Not PP and I don’t see a hint of smugness. You’re just mad because it’s a hard truth.

But I guess you have me with that last part. I do think I’m better at life. The proof is in the pudding.

Ugh. Really? Gross. No, not “a hint of smugness at all.”

Well I got married young (DH was also mid 20s, not some gross old man) had kids young while launching two successful careers and now we are happy and rich. I’m quite smug. But I’m also not the PP who told you nicely.

It is much easier to marry young and then launch your career, with all the support. The only advantage you had over other women is good looks which attracted the right guy. Many girls like you also marry young and they end up divorced with kids by their 40s.

You are not in any way better, or more positive example! I married myself at 25, divorced at 43. I was thin, tall and modeled part time. It was extremely easy for me to marry a rich guy (much easier than studies and career)

You are just feeding PP’s gigantic ego by assuming that she is good looking. I’ve seen many examples of young, handsome wealthy guys marrying plainer women than you might expect.

She's probably good looking but also stupid if this is feeding her ego. Beauty attracts all kids of wrong guys /cheaters etc

Ok I’ll tell you my secret. It’s not gorgeous looks. My husband is Asian. Not being a racist dater would have helped a lot of my peers. Alas.

Other girls may not be necessarily racist. My cousin sister is married to an Asian IT guy. He makes shit load of money, but there is a certain dynamics in Asian families. Their in-laws are usually pretty dominant over wife, wives have low weight in the families until grand children come.In-laws would visit every day and live nearby. My cousin's in-laws unilaterally moved into her house when her baby was born, under a pretext of "helping". Its the husband's mom who rules the young family.

Not every US woman would want this, even for big buck!

If white in laws were so much easier to get along with this board would have 20% fewer threads.

Believe me in Asian families in-laws just wipe off their feet on you, particular wealthy Asian families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

OP here. After putting myself through college and graduate school and acquiring a fulfilling and interesting policy job, I really do not want to marry some average joe making 100k a year so we can squeeze into a 500k townhouse in Vienna and take yearly vacations to OBX.

I want a SHF in Chevy Chase, private school for my kids and international vacations.

Why NOT me? Only because I am not blonde and skinny?

Its depressing.

OP- you waited too long. Those of us met those guys and married them by 30.

I have a Master’s Degree and work in similar field. I have the life/husband you are looking for. Almost all of my girlfriends do as well and the lady of us married at 33.

I loathe this smug attitude by women who married young. They think it is some grand personal achievement and that it is some symbol that they are special or superior to other women, that they are better at life. You didn’t cure cancer or negotiate world peace, you walked down an aisle. So get over yourselves.

Not PP and I don’t see a hint of smugness. You’re just mad because it’s a hard truth.

But I guess you have me with that last part. I do think I’m better at life. The proof is in the pudding.

Ugh. Really? Gross. No, not “a hint of smugness at all.”

Well I got married young (DH was also mid 20s, not some gross old man) had kids young while launching two successful careers and now we are happy and rich. I’m quite smug. But I’m also not the PP who told you nicely.

It is much easier to marry young and then launch your career, with all the support. The only advantage you had over other women is good looks which attracted the right guy. Many girls like you also marry young and they end up divorced with kids by their 40s.

You are not in any way better, or more positive example! I married myself at 25, divorced at 43. I was thin, tall and modeled part time. It was extremely easy for me to marry a rich guy (much easier than studies and career)

You are just feeding PP’s gigantic ego by assuming that she is good looking. I’ve seen many examples of young, handsome wealthy guys marrying plainer women than you might expect.

She's probably good looking but also stupid if this is feeding her ego. Beauty attracts all kids of wrong guys /cheaters etc

Ok I’ll tell you my secret. It’s not gorgeous looks. My husband is Asian. Not being a racist dater would have helped a lot of my peers. Alas.

Other girls may not be necessarily racist. My cousin sister is married to an Asian IT guy. He makes shit load of money, but there is a certain dynamics in Asian families. Their in-laws are usually pretty dominant over wife, wives have low weight in the families until grand children come.In-laws would visit every day and live nearby. My cousin's in-laws unilaterally moved into her house when her baby was born, under a pretext of "helping". Its the husband's mom who rules the young family.

Not every US woman would want this, even for big buck!

If white in laws were so much easier to get along with this board would have 20% fewer threads.

Believe me in Asian families in-laws just wipe off their feet on you, particular wealthy Asian families.

I don’t know why I would believe you since we have been married over a decade and that doesn’t reflect my experience in the least

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

OP here. After putting myself through college and graduate school and acquiring a fulfilling and interesting policy job, I really do not want to marry some average joe making 100k a year so we can squeeze into a 500k townhouse in Vienna and take yearly vacations to OBX.

I want a SHF in Chevy Chase, private school for my kids and international vacations.

Why NOT me? Only because I am not blonde and skinny?

Its depressing.

OP- you waited too long. Those of us met those guys and married them by 30.

I have a Master’s Degree and work in similar field. I have the life/husband you are looking for. Almost all of my girlfriends do as well and the lady of us married at 33.

I loathe this smug attitude by women who married young. They think it is some grand personal achievement and that it is some symbol that they are special or superior to other women, that they are better at life. You didn’t cure cancer or negotiate world peace, you walked down an aisle. So get over yourselves.

Not PP and I don’t see a hint of smugness. You’re just mad because it’s a hard truth.

But I guess you have me with that last part. I do think I’m better at life. The proof is in the pudding.

Ugh. Really? Gross. No, not “a hint of smugness at all.”

Well I got married young (DH was also mid 20s, not some gross old man) had kids young while launching two successful careers and now we are happy and rich. I’m quite smug. But I’m also not the PP who told you nicely.

It is much easier to marry young and then launch your career, with all the support. The only advantage you had over other women is good looks which attracted the right guy. Many girls like you also marry young and they end up divorced with kids by their 40s.

You are not in any way better, or more positive example! I married myself at 25, divorced at 43. I was thin, tall and modeled part time. It was extremely easy for me to marry a rich guy (much easier than studies and career)

You are just feeding PP’s gigantic ego by assuming that she is good looking. I’ve seen many examples of young, handsome wealthy guys marrying plainer women than you might expect.

She's probably good looking but also stupid if this is feeding her ego. Beauty attracts all kids of wrong guys /cheaters etc

Ok I’ll tell you my secret. It’s not gorgeous looks. My husband is Asian. Not being a racist dater would have helped a lot of my peers. Alas.

Other girls may not be necessarily racist. My cousin sister is married to an Asian IT guy. He makes shit load of money, but there is a certain dynamics in Asian families. Their in-laws are usually pretty dominant over wife, wives have low weight in the families until grand children come.In-laws would visit every day and live nearby. My cousin's in-laws unilaterally moved into her house when her baby was born, under a pretext of "helping". Its the husband's mom who rules the young family.

Not every US woman would want this, even for big buck!

If white in laws were so much easier to get along with this board would have 20% fewer threads.

Believe me in Asian families in-laws just wipe off their feet on you, particular wealthy Asian families.

I don’t know why I would believe you since we have been married over a decade and that doesn’t reflect my experience in the least

Do you have kids? I would think you don't or did not have kids right away when in your 20s otherwise you would have experienced it. My cousin sister lives in San Francisco, very familiar with Asian wealthy community. All young families are like that and American white wives are miserable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

OP here. After putting myself through college and graduate school and acquiring a fulfilling and interesting policy job, I really do not want to marry some average joe making 100k a year so we can squeeze into a 500k townhouse in Vienna and take yearly vacations to OBX.

I want a SHF in Chevy Chase, private school for my kids and international vacations.

Why NOT me? Only because I am not blonde and skinny?

Its depressing.

OP- you waited too long. Those of us met those guys and married them by 30.

I have a Master’s Degree and work in similar field. I have the life/husband you are looking for. Almost all of my girlfriends do as well and the lady of us married at 33.

I loathe this smug attitude by women who married young. They think it is some grand personal achievement and that it is some symbol that they are special or superior to other women, that they are better at life. You didn’t cure cancer or negotiate world peace, you walked down an aisle. So get over yourselves.

Not PP and I don’t see a hint of smugness. You’re just mad because it’s a hard truth.

But I guess you have me with that last part. I do think I’m better at life. The proof is in the pudding.

Ugh. Really? Gross. No, not “a hint of smugness at all.”

Well I got married young (DH was also mid 20s, not some gross old man) had kids young while launching two successful careers and now we are happy and rich. I’m quite smug. But I’m also not the PP who told you nicely.

It is much easier to marry young and then launch your career, with all the support. The only advantage you had over other women is good looks which attracted the right guy. Many girls like you also marry young and they end up divorced with kids by their 40s.

You are not in any way better, or more positive example! I married myself at 25, divorced at 43. I was thin, tall and modeled part time. It was extremely easy for me to marry a rich guy (much easier than studies and career)

You are just feeding PP’s gigantic ego by assuming that she is good looking. I’ve seen many examples of young, handsome wealthy guys marrying plainer women than you might expect.

She's probably good looking but also stupid if this is feeding her ego. Beauty attracts all kids of wrong guys /cheaters etc

Ok I’ll tell you my secret. It’s not gorgeous looks. My husband is Asian. Not being a racist dater would have helped a lot of my peers. Alas.

Other girls may not be necessarily racist. My cousin sister is married to an Asian IT guy. He makes shit load of money, but there is a certain dynamics in Asian families. Their in-laws are usually pretty dominant over wife, wives have low weight in the families until grand children come.In-laws would visit every day and live nearby. My cousin's in-laws unilaterally moved into her house when her baby was born, under a pretext of "helping". Its the husband's mom who rules the young family.

Not every US woman would want this, even for big buck!

If white in laws were so much easier to get along with this board would have 20% fewer threads.

Believe me in Asian families in-laws just wipe off their feet on you, particular wealthy Asian families.

I don’t know why I would believe you since we have been married over a decade and that doesn’t reflect my experience in the least

Do you have kids? I would think you don't or did not have kids right away when in your 20s otherwise you would have experienced it. My cousin sister lives in San Francisco, very familiar with Asian wealthy community. All young families are like that and American white wives are miserable

3 kids oldest is 10. Sounds like you’re talking about one very specific community that is not the same community (and not the same country of origin) as my in laws. There’s more to Asia than Taiwan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

OP here. After putting myself through college and graduate school and acquiring a fulfilling and interesting policy job, I really do not want to marry some average joe making 100k a year so we can squeeze into a 500k townhouse in Vienna and take yearly vacations to OBX.

I want a SHF in Chevy Chase, private school for my kids and international vacations.

Why NOT me? Only because I am not blonde and skinny?

Its depressing.

OP- you waited too long. Those of us met those guys and married them by 30.

I have a Master’s Degree and work in similar field. I have the life/husband you are looking for. Almost all of my girlfriends do as well and the lady of us married at 33.

I loathe this smug attitude by women who married young. They think it is some grand personal achievement and that it is some symbol that they are special or superior to other women, that they are better at life. You didn’t cure cancer or negotiate world peace, you walked down an aisle. So get over yourselves.

Not PP and I don’t see a hint of smugness. You’re just mad because it’s a hard truth.

But I guess you have me with that last part. I do think I’m better at life. The proof is in the pudding.

Ugh. Really? Gross. No, not “a hint of smugness at all.”

Well I got married young (DH was also mid 20s, not some gross old man) had kids young while launching two successful careers and now we are happy and rich. I’m quite smug. But I’m also not the PP who told you nicely.

It is much easier to marry young and then launch your career, with all the support. The only advantage you had over other women is good looks which attracted the right guy. Many girls like you also marry young and they end up divorced with kids by their 40s.

You are not in any way better, or more positive example! I married myself at 25, divorced at 43. I was thin, tall and modeled part time. It was extremely easy for me to marry a rich guy (much easier than studies and career)

You are just feeding PP’s gigantic ego by assuming that she is good looking. I’ve seen many examples of young, handsome wealthy guys marrying plainer women than you might expect.

She's probably good looking but also stupid if this is feeding her ego. Beauty attracts all kids of wrong guys /cheaters etc

Ok I’ll tell you my secret. It’s not gorgeous looks. My husband is Asian. Not being a racist dater would have helped a lot of my peers. Alas.

Other girls may not be necessarily racist. My cousin sister is married to an Asian IT guy. He makes shit load of money, but there is a certain dynamics in Asian families. Their in-laws are usually pretty dominant over wife, wives have low weight in the families until grand children come.In-laws would visit every day and live nearby. My cousin's in-laws unilaterally moved into her house when her baby was born, under a pretext of "helping". Its the husband's mom who rules the young family.

Not every US woman would want this, even for big buck!

If white in laws were so much easier to get along with this board would have 20% fewer threads.

Believe me in Asian families in-laws just wipe off their feet on you, particular wealthy Asian families.

I don’t know why I would believe you since we have been married over a decade and that doesn’t reflect my experience in the least

Do you have kids? I would think you don't or did not have kids right away when in your 20s otherwise you would have experienced it. My cousin sister lives in San Francisco, very familiar with Asian wealthy community. All young families are like that and American white wives are miserable

3 kids oldest is 10. Sounds like you’re talking about one very specific community that is not the same community (and not the same country of origin) as my in laws. There’s more to Asia than Taiwan.

My thinking is that you married an Asian guy who moved away to a different state and was not from a really wealthy Asian family.Then you both grew professionally and became wealthy from your own careers.

The wealthy ones are the types that ask to close Vuitton or Dior store for them to shop when they visit a city, own yachts, properties with helicopter pad on the roof etc. These families would eat you alive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

OP here. After putting myself through college and graduate school and acquiring a fulfilling and interesting policy job, I really do not want to marry some average joe making 100k a year so we can squeeze into a 500k townhouse in Vienna and take yearly vacations to OBX.

I want a SHF in Chevy Chase, private school for my kids and international vacations.

Why NOT me? Only because I am not blonde and skinny?

Its depressing.

OP- you waited too long. Those of us met those guys and married them by 30.

I have a Master’s Degree and work in similar field. I have the life/husband you are looking for. Almost all of my girlfriends do as well and the lady of us married at 33.

I loathe this smug attitude by women who married young. They think it is some grand personal achievement and that it is some symbol that they are special or superior to other women, that they are better at life. You didn’t cure cancer or negotiate world peace, you walked down an aisle. So get over yourselves.

Not PP and I don’t see a hint of smugness. You’re just mad because it’s a hard truth.

But I guess you have me with that last part. I do think I’m better at life. The proof is in the pudding.

Ugh. Really? Gross. No, not “a hint of smugness at all.”

Well I got married young (DH was also mid 20s, not some gross old man) had kids young while launching two successful careers and now we are happy and rich. I’m quite smug. But I’m also not the PP who told you nicely.

It is much easier to marry young and then launch your career, with all the support. The only advantage you had over other women is good looks which attracted the right guy. Many girls like you also marry young and they end up divorced with kids by their 40s.

You are not in any way better, or more positive example! I married myself at 25, divorced at 43. I was thin, tall and modeled part time. It was extremely easy for me to marry a rich guy (much easier than studies and career)

You are just feeding PP’s gigantic ego by assuming that she is good looking. I’ve seen many examples of young, handsome wealthy guys marrying plainer women than you might expect.

She's probably good looking but also stupid if this is feeding her ego. Beauty attracts all kids of wrong guys /cheaters etc

Ok I’ll tell you my secret. It’s not gorgeous looks. My husband is Asian. Not being a racist dater would have helped a lot of my peers. Alas.

Other girls may not be necessarily racist. My cousin sister is married to an Asian IT guy. He makes shit load of money, but there is a certain dynamics in Asian families. Their in-laws are usually pretty dominant over wife, wives have low weight in the families until grand children come.In-laws would visit every day and live nearby. My cousin's in-laws unilaterally moved into her house when her baby was born, under a pretext of "helping". Its the husband's mom who rules the young family.

Not every US woman would want this, even for big buck!

If white in laws were so much easier to get along with this board would have 20% fewer threads.

Believe me in Asian families in-laws just wipe off their feet on you, particular wealthy Asian families.

I don’t know why I would believe you since we have been married over a decade and that doesn’t reflect my experience in the least

Do you have kids? I would think you don't or did not have kids right away when in your 20s otherwise you would have experienced it. My cousin sister lives in San Francisco, very familiar with Asian wealthy community. All young families are like that and American white wives are miserable

3 kids oldest is 10. Sounds like you’re talking about one very specific community that is not the same community (and not the same country of origin) as my in laws. There’s more to Asia than Taiwan.

My thinking is that you married an Asian guy who moved away to a different state and was not from a really wealthy Asian family.Then you both grew professionally and became wealthy from your own careers.

The wealthy ones are the types that ask to close Vuitton or Dior store for them to shop when they visit a city, own yachts, properties with helicopter pad on the roof etc. These families would eat you alive.

Keep missing. My in-laws are well-off and live 20 minutes away. But yes we earn our own money to finance our lives.