Hate having kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay. There was no reason to post. People obviously do not have adult children who are responding. Your responses are judgmental and making stuff up. Stop responding. If you have adult children, feel free to respond. Otherwise, there is no reason for you to keep piling on with assumptions about me or my kids. They are fine. I'm not worried. I worry about my happiness--not theirs. If you don't have the perspective of being an adult with children who did not find raising kids joyful, there is literally no reason for you to comment except to make yourself feel better about yourself and to put me down and my assumptions about me. My kids are happy. I'm not. I can say this anonymously. Stop projecting it is something worse. I only was seeking feedback from people with adult children who have wisdom to offer. If you have kids at home, you don't fit the criteria for even responding.

I posted a few times. I have two adult children 21 & 19. I said I do not enjoy parenting, but I love my kids. I enjoy time with them now much more than I did when I constantly had to parent. Parenting is not fun, I found it exhausting.

I also posted the article from 2010 about other parents who really do not enjoy parenting. It's not a utopia of happiness.

Still I love my kids fiercely, even when I did not love their attitudes or actions (teen years were tough with the oldest). It will get better.

Thank you. That is all I wanted to hear.

The ^PP probably doesn't resent their kid like you do. I'm also assuming that ^PP didn't only *sometimes" love their kids.

Other people have stated that they don't enjoy parenting. I've posted this myself numerous times. I find parenting exhausting, too.

All this for you to hear one poster state that they enjoy their adult kids more now than when they were little? You really needed an anonymous poster to tell you that some people find adult kids to be more fun than little kids?

You can resent your situation and still love kids. If I did not love them, I'd be gone. I don't love them overwhelmingly 100% of the time but no one does. You don't gush over kids 100% of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay. There was no reason to post. People obviously do not have adult children who are responding. Your responses are judgmental and making stuff up. Stop responding. If you have adult children, feel free to respond. Otherwise, there is no reason for you to keep piling on with assumptions about me or my kids. They are fine. I'm not worried. I worry about my happiness--not theirs. If you don't have the perspective of being an adult with children who did not find raising kids joyful, there is literally no reason for you to comment except to make yourself feel better about yourself and to put me down and my assumptions about me. My kids are happy. I'm not. I can say this anonymously. Stop projecting it is something worse. I only was seeking feedback from people with adult children who have wisdom to offer. If you have kids at home, you don't fit the criteria for even responding.

No matter how much you try to convince yourself otherwise, they are inextricably linked.

No, they are not. People can compartmentalize.

If you were really an expert on mental health, you would know that "Compartmentalization is a defense mechanism in which people mentally separate conflicting thoughts, emotions, or experiences to avoid the discomfort of contradiction." (Psychology Today)

I know what it is. My kids don't know I am deeply unhappy and this was not what I wanted for my life. I compartmentalize my true feelings from them so they don't feel it.

[Anonymous]

NP. Your story does seem hard to believe but as you say it is, it must be a hard living a life you never wanted.

Parenting is hard work and I did not always like it, but I am a hard worker and expect work to be hard. That is how I was raised. However, I absolutely loved/love my kids from the minute I held them. So from that perspective, we are not similar and this may not be useful. (To be honest, I thought I would be the best mom ever, that it was easy, and every minute was going to be 😀 as I was that babysitter and cousin who loved kids! I was wrong, very wrong.)

Most of my parenting days were long — all the meals, doctors appts, play dates, school paperwork, struggles with whatever…but every day there was laughter, hugs, bedtime snuggles.
Sure, I wanted to read and be downstairs in like 5 minutes each night (as I was exhausted) but it was always 1 hr or more every night. We’ve all been there.

However, as teens and now college age, it is pretty great. They may actually like what you like (you’ve never said but you must like something if you feel you have no time for you.) what is it? They may like to bike, run, ski, bake, camp, watch movies, do puzzles, discuss current events, travel. So, whatever you like to do with the friends mention, your kids may be similar and you will connect with them.

I’d say encourage their independence and interests and they should be off and engaged and then you’ll have the space you need. It is so trite but force yourself each day to find one small thing you liked about them that day. If you can’t do that, I do think you simply do not want to. As say that, because I have done that with bosses, co- workers, life events. We can only be truly miserable if we accept to. Best of luck to you and your dc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please tell me that this improves when they are adults because 10 years in and I still can’t stand it.

Selfish… Your parents should have never had you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.drpsychmom.com/2018/04/23/cant-bond-with-baby/

"When You Can't Bond With Your Baby" by a psychologist

I liked having babies. I still did not want to raise kids. I did not have bonding issues whatsoever.

Right, that's the aspect that's really indicative of deep, abiding trauma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has posted many, many times. She is completely lacking in insight. Not quite sure what she’s hoping to get from these repeated threads. Just letting everyone know so they can stop wasting their time. OP, just give your kids to their dad already.

They are not comfortable with him. I am the preferred parent. He did 0 for the first 6 years of parenting. Literally ZERO.

That still would not solve the problem. I've already wasted 10 years into this nonsense and I can't fix the trajectory. Him having the kids only would not improve anything and in fact, make it worse.

I wanted to know if people could enjoy kids as adults if they did not like parenting. So far, no one really has that answer. That was the point of the post. I know my life sucks so I don't need more piling on. Be fortunate that you did not have circumstances take your life in a direction you absolutely did not want and then have to deal with the lifelong consequences. There is no "coping" or "therapy" that can fix that. It is what it is and I just have to deal with it.

No one has answered because there are virtually no people who get to year 10 of parenting that feel like you feel. There are people who don't like certain parts of parenting, there are people who feel resentment because they have kids but they still love their kids, but what YOU describe points to a person in a mental health crisis.

People are saying that for YOU, with these problems and your outlook on life, it will not get better, because life is not just about things magically getting better. You have to make them better.

It will get better when your kids get older and more independent and drift from you. And you can become a distant mother and not interact with grandchildren if you don't want.

I'm going to give you a different piece of advice OP, since you clearly aren't really interested in fixing yourself. Get your kids in therapy, and explain these thoughts you have to their therapists. So your children can figure out how to grapple with having a parent like you in a healthy way. I grew up in a very privileged home, my childhood was 'so much better than my parents' and yet, all the money in the world can't buy you emotionally stable parents. And unfortunately kids need that a lot more than they need whatever it is you're buying for them.

So no, your situation will not improve but again, it is because you seem committed to doing literally nothing to improve it.

I am not having a mental health crisis. This is how I feel every day. I survive. That is it. It's drudgery but it is what it is. A mental health crisis is sudden and drastic and an overwhelming feeling of depression. I am not depressed. I was just hoping someone would say, "yeah, I did not particularly like parenting but I enjoy having adult kids."

Being depressed for 10 years and being unable to have a constant love an attachment to children entering double digits is in fact a mental health crisis. It sounds like its been doing on for a very long time.

I know what you were hoping for, but instead you are getting a chorus of people saying your mindset is extremely troubling and abnormal and suggesting you need a medical intervention. You are saying 'you guys are crazy' because you have existed this way for so long you don't recognize the harm and critical nature of the crisis. You're a frog in a hot pot OP. Maybe it will never actually boil, but its close, and its certainly not going to get any cooler.

She just said she isn't depressed so why did you respond with this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has posted many, many times. She is completely lacking in insight. Not quite sure what she’s hoping to get from these repeated threads. Just letting everyone know so they can stop wasting their time. OP, just give your kids to their dad already.

They are not comfortable with him. I am the preferred parent. He did 0 for the first 6 years of parenting. Literally ZERO.

That still would not solve the problem. I've already wasted 10 years into this nonsense and I can't fix the trajectory. Him having the kids only would not improve anything and in fact, make it worse.

I wanted to know if people could enjoy kids as adults if they did not like parenting. So far, no one really has that answer. That was the point of the post. I know my life sucks so I don't need more piling on. Be fortunate that you did not have circumstances take your life in a direction you absolutely did not want and then have to deal with the lifelong consequences. There is no "coping" or "therapy" that can fix that. It is what it is and I just have to deal with it.

No one has answered because there are virtually no people who get to year 10 of parenting that feel like you feel. There are people who don't like certain parts of parenting, there are people who feel resentment because they have kids but they still love their kids, but what YOU describe points to a person in a mental health crisis.

People are saying that for YOU, with these problems and your outlook on life, it will not get better, because life is not just about things magically getting better. You have to make them better.

It will get better when your kids get older and more independent and drift from you. And you can become a distant mother and not interact with grandchildren if you don't want.

I'm going to give you a different piece of advice OP, since you clearly aren't really interested in fixing yourself. Get your kids in therapy, and explain these thoughts you have to their therapists. So your children can figure out how to grapple with having a parent like you in a healthy way. I grew up in a very privileged home, my childhood was 'so much better than my parents' and yet, all the money in the world can't buy you emotionally stable parents. And unfortunately kids need that a lot more than they need whatever it is you're buying for them.

So no, your situation will not improve but again, it is because you seem committed to doing literally nothing to improve it.

I am not having a mental health crisis. This is how I feel every day. I survive. That is it. It's drudgery but it is what it is. A mental health crisis is sudden and drastic and an overwhelming feeling of depression. I am not depressed. I was just hoping someone would say, "yeah, I did not particularly like parenting but I enjoy having adult kids."

Being depressed for 10 years and being unable to have a constant love an attachment to children entering double digits is in fact a mental health crisis. It sounds like its been doing on for a very long time.

I know what you were hoping for, but instead you are getting a chorus of people saying your mindset is extremely troubling and abnormal and suggesting you need a medical intervention. You are saying 'you guys are crazy' because you have existed this way for so long you don't recognize the harm and critical nature of the crisis. You're a frog in a hot pot OP. Maybe it will never actually boil, but its close, and its certainly not going to get any cooler.

She just said she isn't depressed so why did you respond with this?

I'm not the PP, but OP isn't exactly a reliable narrator . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has posted many, many times. She is completely lacking in insight. Not quite sure what she’s hoping to get from these repeated threads. Just letting everyone know so they can stop wasting their time. OP, just give your kids to their dad already.

They are not comfortable with him. I am the preferred parent. He did 0 for the first 6 years of parenting. Literally ZERO.

That still would not solve the problem. I've already wasted 10 years into this nonsense and I can't fix the trajectory. Him having the kids only would not improve anything and in fact, make it worse.

I wanted to know if people could enjoy kids as adults if they did not like parenting. So far, no one really has that answer. That was the point of the post. I know my life sucks so I don't need more piling on. Be fortunate that you did not have circumstances take your life in a direction you absolutely did not want and then have to deal with the lifelong consequences. There is no "coping" or "therapy" that can fix that. It is what it is and I just have to deal with it.

No one has answered because there are virtually no people who get to year 10 of parenting that feel like you feel. There are people who don't like certain parts of parenting, there are people who feel resentment because they have kids but they still love their kids, but what YOU describe points to a person in a mental health crisis.

People are saying that for YOU, with these problems and your outlook on life, it will not get better, because life is not just about things magically getting better. You have to make them better.

It will get better when your kids get older and more independent and drift from you. And you can become a distant mother and not interact with grandchildren if you don't want.

I'm going to give you a different piece of advice OP, since you clearly aren't really interested in fixing yourself. Get your kids in therapy, and explain these thoughts you have to their therapists. So your children can figure out how to grapple with having a parent like you in a healthy way. I grew up in a very privileged home, my childhood was 'so much better than my parents' and yet, all the money in the world can't buy you emotionally stable parents. And unfortunately kids need that a lot more than they need whatever it is you're buying for them.

So no, your situation will not improve but again, it is because you seem committed to doing literally nothing to improve it.

I am not having a mental health crisis. This is how I feel every day. I survive. That is it. It's drudgery but it is what it is. A mental health crisis is sudden and drastic and an overwhelming feeling of depression. I am not depressed. I was just hoping someone would say, "yeah, I did not particularly like parenting but I enjoy having adult kids."

Being depressed for 10 years and being unable to have a constant love an attachment to children entering double digits is in fact a mental health crisis. It sounds like its been doing on for a very long time.

I know what you were hoping for, but instead you are getting a chorus of people saying your mindset is extremely troubling and abnormal and suggesting you need a medical intervention. You are saying 'you guys are crazy' because you have existed this way for so long you don't recognize the harm and critical nature of the crisis. You're a frog in a hot pot OP. Maybe it will never actually boil, but its close, and its certainly not going to get any cooler.

She just said she isn't depressed so why did you respond with this?

I'm not the PP, but OP isn't exactly a reliable narrator . . .

She didn't want kids, she has kids now, but hates parenting. It's really not that difficult to follow or believe. A lot of the parenting experience isn't fun. It's work. It gets more difficult in teen years. To not think parenting is enjoyable does not equal depression.

OP from everything you've written I think you will have a different experience with your children once they are adults. Your main issue seems to be the responsibility of taking care of them. I get it, it's not easy. Hope things get better for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay. There was no reason to post. People obviously do not have adult children who are responding. Your responses are judgmental and making stuff up. Stop responding. If you have adult children, feel free to respond. Otherwise, there is no reason for you to keep piling on with assumptions about me or my kids. They are fine. I'm not worried. I worry about my happiness--not theirs. If you don't have the perspective of being an adult with children who did not find raising kids joyful, there is literally no reason for you to comment except to make yourself feel better about yourself and to put me down and my assumptions about me. My kids are happy. I'm not. I can say this anonymously. Stop projecting it is something worse. I only was seeking feedback from people with adult children who have wisdom to offer. If you have kids at home, you don't fit the criteria for even responding.

I posted a few times. I have two adult children 21 & 19. I said I do not enjoy parenting, but I love my kids. I enjoy time with them now much more than I did when I constantly had to parent. Parenting is not fun, I found it exhausting.

I also posted the article from 2010 about other parents who really do not enjoy parenting. It's not a utopia of happiness.

Still I love my kids fiercely, even when I did not love their attitudes or actions (teen years were tough with the oldest). It will get better.

Thank you. That is all I wanted to hear.

The ^PP probably doesn't resent their kid like you do. I'm also assuming that ^PP didn't only *sometimes" love their kids.

Other people have stated that they don't enjoy parenting. I've posted this myself numerous times. I find parenting exhausting, too.

All this for you to hear one poster state that they enjoy their adult kids more now than when they were little? You really needed an anonymous poster to tell you that some people find adult kids to be more fun than little kids?

You can resent your situation and still love kids. If I did not love them, I'd be gone. I don't love them overwhelmingly 100% of the time but no one does. You don't gush over kids 100% of the time.

Previously you stated that you love them only "sometimes", now you are saying you love them, but not overwhelmingly 100% of the time.

You seem to think that you cannot love your kids and be angry with them at the same time, and that when you are resentful or don't like them, that this must mean you don't love them.

There are times when I don't like DH or my kids but I still love them.

I really think you need some therapy. I am not sure you even know what "love" is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has posted many, many times. She is completely lacking in insight. Not quite sure what she’s hoping to get from these repeated threads. Just letting everyone know so they can stop wasting their time. OP, just give your kids to their dad already.

They are not comfortable with him. I am the preferred parent. He did 0 for the first 6 years of parenting. Literally ZERO.

That still would not solve the problem. I've already wasted 10 years into this nonsense and I can't fix the trajectory. Him having the kids only would not improve anything and in fact, make it worse.

I wanted to know if people could enjoy kids as adults if they did not like parenting. So far, no one really has that answer. That was the point of the post. I know my life sucks so I don't need more piling on. Be fortunate that you did not have circumstances take your life in a direction you absolutely did not want and then have to deal with the lifelong consequences. There is no "coping" or "therapy" that can fix that. It is what it is and I just have to deal with it.

No one has answered because there are virtually no people who get to year 10 of parenting that feel like you feel. There are people who don't like certain parts of parenting, there are people who feel resentment because they have kids but they still love their kids, but what YOU describe points to a person in a mental health crisis.

People are saying that for YOU, with these problems and your outlook on life, it will not get better, because life is not just about things magically getting better. You have to make them better.

It will get better when your kids get older and more independent and drift from you. And you can become a distant mother and not interact with grandchildren if you don't want.

I'm going to give you a different piece of advice OP, since you clearly aren't really interested in fixing yourself. Get your kids in therapy, and explain these thoughts you have to their therapists. So your children can figure out how to grapple with having a parent like you in a healthy way. I grew up in a very privileged home, my childhood was 'so much better than my parents' and yet, all the money in the world can't buy you emotionally stable parents. And unfortunately kids need that a lot more than they need whatever it is you're buying for them.

So no, your situation will not improve but again, it is because you seem committed to doing literally nothing to improve it.

I am not having a mental health crisis. This is how I feel every day. I survive. That is it. It's drudgery but it is what it is. A mental health crisis is sudden and drastic and an overwhelming feeling of depression. I am not depressed. I was just hoping someone would say, "yeah, I did not particularly like parenting but I enjoy having adult kids."

Being depressed for 10 years and being unable to have a constant love an attachment to children entering double digits is in fact a mental health crisis. It sounds like its been doing on for a very long time.

I know what you were hoping for, but instead you are getting a chorus of people saying your mindset is extremely troubling and abnormal and suggesting you need a medical intervention. You are saying 'you guys are crazy' because you have existed this way for so long you don't recognize the harm and critical nature of the crisis. You're a frog in a hot pot OP. Maybe it will never actually boil, but its close, and its certainly not going to get any cooler.

She just said she isn't depressed so why did you respond with this?

I'm not the PP, but OP isn't exactly a reliable narrator . . .

She didn't want kids, she has kids now, but hates parenting. It's really not that difficult to follow or believe. A lot of the parenting experience isn't fun. It's work. It gets more difficult in teen years. To not think parenting is enjoyable does not equal depression.

OP from everything you've written I think you will have a different experience with your children once they are adults. Your main issue seems to be the responsibility of taking care of them. I get it, it's not easy. Hope things get better for you.

Sure, I mean, Trump was the same way. Didn't want anything to do with the kids when they were young. Got involved when they became adults.

And we all know how their kids turned out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay. There was no reason to post. People obviously do not have adult children who are responding. Your responses are judgmental and making stuff up. Stop responding. If you have adult children, feel free to respond. Otherwise, there is no reason for you to keep piling on with assumptions about me or my kids. They are fine. I'm not worried. I worry about my happiness--not theirs. If you don't have the perspective of being an adult with children who did not find raising kids joyful, there is literally no reason for you to comment except to make yourself feel better about yourself and to put me down and my assumptions about me. My kids are happy. I'm not. I can say this anonymously. Stop projecting it is something worse. I only was seeking feedback from people with adult children who have wisdom to offer. If you have kids at home, you don't fit the criteria for even responding.

I posted a few times. I have two adult children 21 & 19. I said I do not enjoy parenting, but I love my kids. I enjoy time with them now much more than I did when I constantly had to parent. Parenting is not fun, I found it exhausting.

I also posted the article from 2010 about other parents who really do not enjoy parenting. It's not a utopia of happiness.

Still I love my kids fiercely, even when I did not love their attitudes or actions (teen years were tough with the oldest). It will get better.

Thank you. That is all I wanted to hear.

The ^PP probably doesn't resent their kid like you do. I'm also assuming that ^PP didn't only *sometimes" love their kids.

Other people have stated that they don't enjoy parenting. I've posted this myself numerous times. I find parenting exhausting, too.

All this for you to hear one poster state that they enjoy their adult kids more now than when they were little? You really needed an anonymous poster to tell you that some people find adult kids to be more fun than little kids?

You can resent your situation and still love kids. If I did not love them, I'd be gone. I don't love them overwhelmingly 100% of the time but no one does. You don't gush over kids 100% of the time.

Previously you stated that you love them only "sometimes", now you are saying you love them, but not overwhelmingly 100% of the time.

You seem to think that you cannot love your kids and be angry with them at the same time, and that when you are resentful or don't like them, that this must mean you don't love them.

There are times when I don't like DH or my kids but I still love them.

I really think you need some therapy. I am not sure you even know what "love" is.

That is what “sometimes” means— It means not overwhelmingly 100% of the time. No one truly loves anyone 100% of the time. There are times people feel it more or less. Someone’s being a jerk for example you don’t love them as much….that is “sometimes.” I still wish I was not in this situation I did not sign up for or want. It derailed my life and how I wanted to live. I’d like to think that someday it will be worth it when they are adults but I really don’t think that’s going to be the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has posted many, many times. She is completely lacking in insight. Not quite sure what she’s hoping to get from these repeated threads. Just letting everyone know so they can stop wasting their time. OP, just give your kids to their dad already.

They are not comfortable with him. I am the preferred parent. He did 0 for the first 6 years of parenting. Literally ZERO.

That still would not solve the problem. I've already wasted 10 years into this nonsense and I can't fix the trajectory. Him having the kids only would not improve anything and in fact, make it worse.

I wanted to know if people could enjoy kids as adults if they did not like parenting. So far, no one really has that answer. That was the point of the post. I know my life sucks so I don't need more piling on. Be fortunate that you did not have circumstances take your life in a direction you absolutely did not want and then have to deal with the lifelong consequences. There is no "coping" or "therapy" that can fix that. It is what it is and I just have to deal with it.

No one has answered because there are virtually no people who get to year 10 of parenting that feel like you feel. There are people who don't like certain parts of parenting, there are people who feel resentment because they have kids but they still love their kids, but what YOU describe points to a person in a mental health crisis.

People are saying that for YOU, with these problems and your outlook on life, it will not get better, because life is not just about things magically getting better. You have to make them better.

It will get better when your kids get older and more independent and drift from you. And you can become a distant mother and not interact with grandchildren if you don't want.

I'm going to give you a different piece of advice OP, since you clearly aren't really interested in fixing yourself. Get your kids in therapy, and explain these thoughts you have to their therapists. So your children can figure out how to grapple with having a parent like you in a healthy way. I grew up in a very privileged home, my childhood was 'so much better than my parents' and yet, all the money in the world can't buy you emotionally stable parents. And unfortunately kids need that a lot more than they need whatever it is you're buying for them.

So no, your situation will not improve but again, it is because you seem committed to doing literally nothing to improve it.

I am not having a mental health crisis. This is how I feel every day. I survive. That is it. It's drudgery but it is what it is. A mental health crisis is sudden and drastic and an overwhelming feeling of depression. I am not depressed. I was just hoping someone would say, "yeah, I did not particularly like parenting but I enjoy having adult kids."

Being depressed for 10 years and being unable to have a constant love an attachment to children entering double digits is in fact a mental health crisis. It sounds like its been doing on for a very long time.

I know what you were hoping for, but instead you are getting a chorus of people saying your mindset is extremely troubling and abnormal and suggesting you need a medical intervention. You are saying 'you guys are crazy' because you have existed this way for so long you don't recognize the harm and critical nature of the crisis. You're a frog in a hot pot OP. Maybe it will never actually boil, but its close, and its certainly not going to get any cooler.

She just said she isn't depressed so why did you respond with this?

I'm not the PP, but OP isn't exactly a reliable narrator . . .

She didn't want kids, she has kids now, but hates parenting. It's really not that difficult to follow or believe. A lot of the parenting experience isn't fun. It's work. It gets more difficult in teen years. To not think parenting is enjoyable does not equal depression.

OP from everything you've written I think you will have a different experience with your children once they are adults. Your main issue seems to be the responsibility of taking care of them. I get it, it's not easy. Hope things get better for you.

It is the time and the money spent that bothers me. The work is secondary. It is the loss of time and money and freedom that makes it hardest to deal with. I also don’t like the day to day work as well but it is not just that I don’t like cooking and have to do it. I also don’t like being surrounded by kids stuff. Crap takes over my house.

[Anonymous]

OP, you basically refuted and was combative with every single poster until a poster said what you wanted to hear…. 16 pages in. You are relentless.

It would save everyone, and yourself, a lot of time and grief if you just said “please don’t tell me what you really think. Someone just tell me it gets better.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you basically refuted and was combative with every single poster until a poster said what you wanted to hear…. 16 pages in. You are relentless.

It would save everyone, and yourself, a lot of time and grief if you just said “please don’t tell me what you really think. Someone just tell me it gets better.”

People who were not the target audience of my post—which is people with adult children who did not enjoy parenting—should not have posted at all because I’m not interested in their judgmental and ridiculous projections and opinions.

[Anonymous]

No one has a life 100% how they would choose it. You need to work on acceptance. Hoping that kids you don't want to be around today will be delightful to you in the future, without doing any work to change the *you* portion, is just setting yourself up for failure. You haven't bonded with them because you haven't healed from all the trauma in your life. You can't pour from an empty bucket.