Hate having kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you basically refuted and was combative with every single poster until a poster said what you wanted to hear…. 16 pages in. You are relentless.

It would save everyone, and yourself, a lot of time and grief if you just said “please don’t tell me what you really think. Someone just tell me it gets better.”

People who were not the target audience of my post—which is people with adult children who did not enjoy parenting—should not have posted at all because I’m not interested in their judgmental and ridiculous projections and opinions.

Ironically OP, you come off as harshly judgmental yourself. You asked for opinions to an anonymous board, and when you disagreed you felt compelled to categorize them as “ridiculous”. In reading every single post the vast vast majority of them are very kindly and thoughtfully delivered.

I get your shtick - You are right, you know everything, and everyone else is ridiculous. Your worldview must be correct because you are so logical. And this is the best way to approach life because everyone and everything, albeit a small handful of things, are a pain in the butt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you basically refuted and was combative with every single poster until a poster said what you wanted to hear…. 16 pages in. You are relentless.

It would save everyone, and yourself, a lot of time and grief if you just said “please don’t tell me what you really think. Someone just tell me it gets better.”

People who were not the target audience of my post—which is people with adult children who did not enjoy parenting—should not have posted at all because I’m not interested in their judgmental and ridiculous projections and opinions.

Ironically OP, you come off as harshly judgmental yourself. You asked for opinions to an anonymous board, and when you disagreed you felt compelled to categorize them as “ridiculous”. In reading every single post the vast vast majority of them are very kindly and thoughtfully delivered.

I get your shtick - You are right, you know everything, and everyone else is ridiculous. Your worldview must be correct because you are so logical. And this is the best way to approach life because everyone and everything, albeit a small handful of things, are a pain in the butt.

I was looking for perspectives from those qualified to give it—not projections and assumptions from others. I do not welcome nor do I appreciate comments from other people who like to make assumptions and make recommendations for how I currently live my life when it’s not a problem. I’m not depressed. Kids are absolutely fine. I do not need therapy. I’m well-versed in almost any mental health thing you could possibly imagine. I am deeply unhappy but I do not appreciate people saying I don’t love my kids and all this bull that they’re making up as the reading because I’m responding to peoples questions. Anytime any poster comes to this website and people answer questions they start attacking the original poster. I came to get perspective from people who are qualified to give it not other people offering up opinions that are not wanted or needed or true. Holier than thou vibe on this board is unbelievable and I really wish people would only respond to peoples posts who actually have something to say and knowledge to say it not people who are making massive assumptions. Unless you have something meaningful to say with the perspective of having adult children, don’t say anything at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you have kids? How did you now know this, before you had kids?

This might be the dumbest question I've read in the history of DCUM.

[Anonymous]

OP, this is a public post which will be read many times beyond today by people searching key words. Responses that you don't find helpful today may be helpful to you in the future. Responses that you don't find helpful, ever, may be helpful to someone else who hates having kids. You can critique your feedback all you want, but just remember that even this thread on this forum isn't just about you.

You come across as highly defensive. It's possible to disagree and say, "Yeah, I understand why you think that but I really don't think it applies to me. I'll keep it in mind, though" and leave it at that. Instead, you claim to know 100% that none of the advice could be helpful when you have a problem that is very far from the realm of normal . . . is that because, despite not being able to figure out how to find acceptance and happiness as a parent, you are better able to gauge what is helpful than all the people who HAVE figured it out? Or is it because people are sharing truths that you aren't ready or able to handle? The latter is much more likely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please tell me that this improves when they are adults because 10 years in and I still can’t stand it.

Selfish… Your parents should have never had you.

And this is why parents and caregivers keep their distress to themselves. Many many people regret having kids, and struggle with parenting. Especially when looking at the long road ahead.

Tomorrow will be better OP. Reach out to your network for help or just to vent.

[Anonymous]

Ok I’ll play along. Current adult child of a mother like you. No she never learned to like parenting. Yes she loved her children. No, they don’t like her.

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe this troll got 18 pages out if this.

[Anonymous]

OP DOESNT NEED THERAPY BECAUSE SHE READS ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH. You know who needs therapy? ME. I need therapy after reading this thread.

[Anonymous]

OP takes no responsibility for anything. I’m sorry you hate parenting/hate having kids. That’s too bad for you but also too bad for your kids. No matter how much you insist they don’t know…they do or they will at some point. No, things probably won’t get better when your kids are adults. You seem set on being miserable and don’t seem to want to work on that. Happiness is something you can work on. You are making a choice to be miserable when you could choose to do things to make yourself happier.

[Anonymous]

It’ll be better when they’re adults because they’ll cut the toxic mother out of their lives. Congrats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe this troll got 18 pages out if this.

This is not a troll post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’ll be better when they’re adults because they’ll cut the toxic mother out of their lives. Congrats.

No, I do not think they will even move for college. I would welcome silence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok I’ll play along. Current adult child of a mother like you. No she never learned to like parenting. Yes she loved her children. No, they don’t like her.

I am not asking to be liked. I was asking if I will feel better later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is a public post which will be read many times beyond today by people searching key words. Responses that you don't find helpful today may be helpful to you in the future. Responses that you don't find helpful, ever, may be helpful to someone else who hates having kids. You can critique your feedback all you want, but just remember that even this thread on this forum isn't just about you.

You come across as highly defensive. It's possible to disagree and say, "Yeah, I understand why you think that but I really don't think it applies to me. I'll keep it in mind, though" and leave it at that. Instead, you claim to know 100% that none of the advice could be helpful when you have a problem that is very far from the realm of normal . . . is that because, despite not being able to figure out how to find acceptance and happiness as a parent, you are better able to gauge what is helpful than all the people who HAVE figured it out? Or is it because people are sharing truths that you aren't ready or able to handle? The latter is much more likely.

I have never searched this forum for key words and surprised anyone would do that. I only respond to posts that I have experience with. If I was a reader, and I did not have adult children, I would be smart enough to know that my opinion has nothing to do with the post and I wouldn’t write a thing. People who are not of the perspective that the original post was asking for our self righteous and know it all‘s and it’s inappropriate for them to even comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe this troll got 18 pages out if this.

This is not a troll post.

Trolling doesn’t always mean a made-up story or fake persona. It also means being combative just to provoke people and cause drama. You, me dear, are the very definition of a troll.