How to interpret a "no children" wedding invitation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids are teens -- 13 and 16. After twice delaying, our niece has finally settled on a wedding date in September. We bought the tickets, RSVPed, and tonight I was looking for her wedding registry when my eyes came accross their no-children policy: "Also, because our celebration will be at a brewery we request no children during the event. "

So... is this mean as nobody under 21? Nobody under 18? No young kids? yes for the older teen but no for the younger one?

The wedding is on the west coast, and it would be our first travel since covid. Kids are not in need of babysitting, but are old enough to be disappointed for not being able to attend their cousin's wedding. Not old enough to leave them home for a few days, but do we fly accross the States through the remains of the pandemics just for half the family to not be able to attend?

We have a large extended family, and have always cherished graduations, weddings or annual celebrations as ways to get together with loved ones. We have not had a chance to do any one of those things post covid, and this is a first event in our family. We are the youngest, and our children are the youngest among the cousins, all of whom are drinking age. So they will be, along with the younger generation of toddlers, the single ones of their cousins uninvited.

Would you politely decline?

No one under 21. It's at a brewery.

You can attend without your kids or you can politely decline. Whatever.

We take kids to brewery’s all the time.

Yes, no surprise that your type takes kids to "brewery's" all the time.

NP here. You're a dick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No children means no one under 18. How tf would a 13 or 16 year old qualify?

OP, I'm a NP. I could see how the request is ambiguous. They might mean little kids/toddlers/infants, i.e. children young enough to be unruly. Or, as a.PP suggested, it might mean 21 and younger due to drinking age. My DH and I have been to parties and get togethers at bars, pubs and breweries with our younger than 10 years old kids, so it seems unclear.to me.

If you are interested in going, I would ask for clarity on what ages they mean. If they mean your kids ages and younger, I would politely decline and send a nice gift. (We are going to a wedding soon and trying to find a friend or babysitter in town and available has been incrediblydifficult; I could only imagine finding someone for a few days would be near impossible).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids are teens -- 13 and 16. After twice delaying, our niece has finally settled on a wedding date in September. We bought the tickets, RSVPed, and tonight I was looking for her wedding registry when my eyes came accross their no-children policy: "Also, because our celebration will be at a brewery we request no children during the event. "

So... is this mean as nobody under 21? Nobody under 18? No young kids? yes for the older teen but no for the younger one?

The wedding is on the west coast, and it would be our first travel since covid. Kids are not in need of babysitting, but are old enough to be disappointed for not being able to attend their cousin's wedding. Not old enough to leave them home for a few days, but do we fly accross the States through the remains of the pandemics just for half the family to not be able to attend?

We have a large extended family, and have always cherished graduations, weddings or annual celebrations as ways to get together with loved ones. We have not had a chance to do any one of those things post covid, and this is a first event in our family. We are the youngest, and our children are the youngest among the cousins, all of whom are drinking age. So they will be, along with the younger generation of toddlers, the single ones of their cousins uninvited.

Would you politely decline?

Yes, no children means your children aren't wanted. Why is this so hard to understand? It doesn't mean "no children, unless your children really, really want to come": you are being an a**hole if you try to guilt trip your niece into allowing you to bring your kids by asking her to clarify whether "no children" means that you can't bring your children. God, some people...

This is such a strong reaction to an innocent question. No guilt trip detected my me.

[Anonymous]

I am pro kids at weddings but this is a ridiculous question. No kids means no kids. It means that when the invitation came to you it probably said, 'Mark and Susan Smith' and did not say 'The Smith Family' or 'Mark and Susan and Tommy and Shelly Smith'.

It says no kids, you have kids, your kids are not invited, come or don't come. How did OP only realize that after RSVPing as you generally put number of guests on your RSVP? The only weird thing here is that no kids wasn't on the invitation itself.

Kids are kids in the context of weddings until they live in another household and would receive an invitation to a wedding on their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would decline because I would not fly across the country during a pandemic and I also would not attend a wedding right now.

The interpretation is that under 21s are not welcome.

Correct.

Now, can't wait to read the rest of the thread!

[Anonymous]

No kids means no kids. Why is this seriously even a discussion. Everyone knows that a child is a person who is under the age of 18. We needed all of these comments to figure that out OP?

[Anonymous]

This reminds me of my husband's cousins wedding. She wrote no kids on the invite. So I stayed home with the kids while he flew out for the wedding. Guess what he saw when he arrived at the wedding? Kids running around the place. We felt offended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This reminds me of my husband's cousins wedding. She wrote no kids on the invite. So I stayed home with the kids while he flew out for the wedding. Guess what he saw when he arrived at the wedding? Kids running around the place. We felt offended.

Yes - I’ve been to weddings that say “no kids” but really it just means “no kids we don’t want.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This reminds me of my husband's cousins wedding. She wrote no kids on the invite. So I stayed home with the kids while he flew out for the wedding. Guess what he saw when he arrived at the wedding? Kids running around the place. We felt offended.

Yes - I’ve been to weddings that say “no kids” but really it just means “no kids we don’t want.”

Or it could mean that rude guests brought their kids anyway- we had this happen at our wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am pro kids at weddings but this is a ridiculous question. No kids means no kids. It means that when the invitation came to you it probably said, 'Mark and Susan Smith' and did not say 'The Smith Family' or 'Mark and Susan and Tommy and Shelly Smith'.

It says no kids, you have kids, your kids are not invited, come or don't come. How did OP only realize that after RSVPing as you generally put number of guests on your RSVP? The only weird thing here is that no kids wasn't on the invitation itself.

Kids are kids in the context of weddings until they live in another household and would receive an invitation to a wedding on their own.

+1. I am attending my cousin’s child-free wedding next month but it was clear from the beginning it was child-free. Save the dates and invites were addressed just to DH and I along with a courteous message that children could not be accommodated at the reception. So either OP wasn’t paying attention or her cousin wasn’t clear. In my case it’s a younger cousin and we have a large extended family (so does her fiancé) so it was understandable. And frankly probably better with covid anyway although this is a rescheduled wedding and it was a pre-covid decision.

[Anonymous]

Has the OP responded with what the invite said? I have been waiting for that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This reminds me of my husband's cousins wedding. She wrote no kids on the invite. So I stayed home with the kids while he flew out for the wedding. Guess what he saw when he arrived at the wedding? Kids running around the place. We felt offended.

Yes - I’ve been to weddings that say “no kids” but really it just means “no kids we don’t want.”

Or it could mean that rude guests brought their kids anyway- we had this happen at our wedding.

Yeah, we did too. It was fine, but I wouldn't assume that the bride and groom knew those kids would be attending.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has the OP responded with what the invite said? I have been waiting for that

Yes. The OP responded and wrote, "Kids were in fact named in the invitation, which is why we had assumed we were all going."

[Anonymous]

This means your teens aren’t invited. It’s not terribly complicated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This reminds me of my husband's cousins wedding. She wrote no kids on the invite. So I stayed home with the kids while he flew out for the wedding. Guess what he saw when he arrived at the wedding? Kids running around the place. We felt offended.

Yes - I’ve been to weddings that say “no kids” but really it just means “no kids we don’t want.”

That's why it's good to open your mouth and ask what they really intend. As OP did. When she learned that her teenagers are in fact invited.