How to interpret a "no children" wedding invitation?

[Anonymous]

How was the exterior envelope addressed? People: again, some more, THIS IS HOW YOU KNOW.

If it was:
The Reynolds Family

Then you have cause to ask for clarification.

If it was addressed to:
Mr. and Mrs. Theodore Reynolds
Or
Ted and Jane Reynolds

Then that means only you and DH are invited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Brewery wedding? Low class.

Being against a brewery wedding? No fun

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just ask them what it means re your specific kids.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask. We had a weird situation where we weren't going to attend a family wedding because it was "no kids" but when the parents of the bride heard this, we were informed that kids within the close family could come. The couple was later among their friend group to marry so if everyone brought kids it would have been like a toddler daycare. We triple checked with the couple because we didn't want to appear presumptuous, and made it clear that we were fine either way, just wanted to clarify.

This does not sound like a “weird situation.” This sounds like a situation where you threw a hissy fit and caused a problem for the bride and groom and they accommodated you. If your children had been invited, they would have been ON THE INVITATION OMG.

THE NAMES OF THE INVITED PEOPLE ARE ON THE INVITATION

“We are fine either way, just wanted to clarify” haha you are terrible. So rude. So self-centered.

+1

"We had a weird situation where, upon learning that our children weren't welcome at a wedding, we complained to every friend and family member who would listen that our brats weren't wanted at someone else's big day. Eventually the bride and groom to be tired of hearing second hand complaints from us and said that we could bring our kids after all. So we went to the wedding with our children, who weren't really wanted, and we were happy. The end."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t go because I wouldn’t leave my 13 year old in a hotel by themselves.

I probably would with a 16 year old sibling …

[Anonymous]

We were just invited to a wedding where “all vaccinated” were welcome. So we took that to include the vaxxed 13 yr old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our kids are teens -- 13 and 16. After twice delaying, our niece has finally settled on a wedding date in September. We bought the tickets, RSVPed, and tonight I was looking for her wedding registry when my eyes came accross their no-children policy: "Also, because our celebration will be at a brewery we request no children during the event. "

So... is this mean as nobody under 21? Nobody under 18? No young kids? yes for the older teen but no for the younger one?

The wedding is on the west coast, and it would be our first travel since covid. Kids are not in need of babysitting, but are old enough to be disappointed for not being able to attend their cousin's wedding. Not old enough to leave them home for a few days, but do we fly accross the States through the remains of the pandemics just for half the family to not be able to attend?

We have a large extended family, and have always cherished graduations, weddings or annual celebrations as ways to get together with loved ones. We have not had a chance to do any one of those things post covid, and this is a first event in our family. We are the youngest, and our children are the youngest among the cousins, all of whom are drinking age. So they will be, along with the younger generation of toddlers, the single ones of their cousins uninvited.

Would you politely decline?

Did the invitation say Mr and Mrs XYZ or Mr X and Ms Y or either one plus family? Over 18's should get their own invitation in the mail or via email. "And family" can be stretched to include other people in the guests' nuclear circle. Or it can really mean you have the parents plus 2 other seats. If 1 adult dC doesn't come that seat can be used for a long term live in of the other 1.

The USA is not post covid. Your kids are 13 and 16 and it says at a brewery and no children. Interpret that as they are under the drinking age and not invited. OP is making yet another hassle for people planning a wedding in the era of covid. Perhaps the venue choice and covid allowed them to have what they really wanted [smaller, adults only] as compared to the big ballroom chaos family reunion.

[Anonymous]

Why would anyone just assume their kids were invited to an event? Did they receive invitations or not? If Mr and Mrs, then the answer is they did not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]I think it’s quite obvious your kids aren’t invited. But your whole guilt trip of “occasions are for the whole familyyyyy, blah blah blah” makes clear you want an exception made for you[/b]. Just send your regrets and a nice gift.

OP, it is clear that they don't want your kids at the wedding. But if you complain about it to your niece's mom, she may make an exception for you, and then you can happily bring your brats against the bride/groom's wishes.

[Anonymous]

“No kids” means no one under 18, including the best-mannered 13 and 16 year olds. Asking anyone involved with the wedding for clarification will make you seem pushy and classless, even if you ultimately get permission to bring your kids along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“No kids” means no one under 18, including the best-mannered 13 and 16 year olds. Asking anyone involved with the wedding for clarification will make you seem pushy and classless, even if you ultimately get permission to bring your kids along.

Usually except in this case it means no one under 21 since they specifically mentioned a brewery. Don’t bring them.

[Anonymous]

Do you people seriously not know that the clearly-invited people are always listed on the exterior envelope?!

Ms. Madison Reede
Means that you are invited, and may not bring a plus one.

Ms. Madison Reede and Guest
Means that you may bring a plus one.

The Smith Family
Means kids are invited.

Mr. and Mrs. Steven Smith
Means that your kids are NOT invited.

Get with the program, people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t go because I wouldn’t leave my 13 year old in a hotel by themselves.

I probably would with a 16 year old sibling …

Jeez I used to babysit other kids when I was 13! Are kids really so infantilized today?

"No kids" sounds different from "no teens" to me, FWIW, and I can't see the harm in OP reaching out to the people getting married (or their parents) just to say: hey we just wanted to check on what this means. We assume it means our kids are not invited but on the chance we're reading it wrong, just wanted to clarify. Thanks and much love to you, blah blah

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you people seriously not know that the clearly-invited people are always listed on the exterior envelope?!

Ms. Madison Reede
Means that you are invited, and may not bring a plus one.

Ms. Madison Reede and Guest
Means that you may bring a plus one.

The Smith Family
Means kids are invited.

Mr. and Mrs. Steven Smith
Means that your kids are NOT invited.

Get with the program, people.

Eh not always. People getting married at a brewery are probably not hewing to the most formal standards like that. We got married at a restaurant/bar and we certainly didn't. I'd much rather someone have asked me than assume the most restrictive policy and not come.

Also FWIW it is 2021 and women have their own first and last names. Stop addressing things to Mr and Mrs Oldfashioned. That is weird and off-putting. When I see invites like that, I feel like I don't need to bother even responding since they can't bother getting my name right and clearly only care about or pay attention to my husband.

[Anonymous]

We were invited to my cousin’s wedding (outside, could drive to it), very clearly with all our names on the invitation. Then recently got an email from the bride saying they were requesting that all their guests be fully vaccinated to attend (completely reasonable). I responded to my cousin that since our kids are too young to be vaccinated we could leave the kids at home, or get them tested in advance of the wedding. Bride kindly replied that our children were the only ones attending and they’re happy to have them and a test isn’t necessary since all the other attendees will be vaccinated. We did rapid tests anyway, and all went and had a lovely time at the wedding.

I guess my point is - this is your family, you should be able to ask a simple question. We had no kids at our own wedding but were fine with teens - the kids in our family at the time were a 1yo and a 3yo who were not well behaved, so we offered to have babysitters in the venue to watch the kids. That worked out well. Obviously not necessary for 2 teens, but hopefully the wedding party has some sort of accommodation for families with children who are considering travel for the wedding (which, as a parent, I would probably not do right now with covid rampant).