How to interpret a "no children" wedding invitation?

[Anonymous]

We’re you kids listed on the invite? Please answer this very important question.

[Anonymous]

I always look at the wedding invite. The outside either says “smith family” or lists the names of those invited.

[Anonymous]

I also wonder if they go if OP's kids will get roped into babysitting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask. We had a weird situation where we weren't going to attend a family wedding because it was "no kids" but when the parents of the bride heard this, we were informed that kids within the close family could come. The couple was later among their friend group to marry so if everyone brought kids it would have been like a toddler daycare. We triple checked with the couple because we didn't want to appear presumptuous, and made it clear that we were fine either way, just wanted to clarify.

This is what I would also suggest might be the case and we experienced something similar. I would just ask, not to guilt them, but just so it’s clear so you can make the right plans (which may mean declining).

[Anonymous]

PP here, I also suggest looking at the invitation but I worry that younger people may not follow usual conventions with addressing invitations (and many don’t have an inside envelope that used to more clearly identify for whom the invitation was intended).

[Anonymous]

Whose names were on the invitation?

[Anonymous]

Brewery wedding? Low class.

[Anonymous]

I would clarify with the niece’s parent in a “just making sure I understand this limitation” way.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand the question, OP, were your children’s names on the invitation? If not, they’re not invited whether there is a “kid policy” or not.

The idea that someone would receive an invitation for two people and just bring their children is insane. The names are on the envelope! Or not! The end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask. We had a weird situation where we weren't going to attend a family wedding because it was "no kids" but when the parents of the bride heard this, we were informed that kids within the close family could come. The couple was later among their friend group to marry so if everyone brought kids it would have been like a toddler daycare. We triple checked with the couple because we didn't want to appear presumptuous, and made it clear that we were fine either way, just wanted to clarify.

This does not sound like a “weird situation.” This sounds like a situation where you threw a hissy fit and caused a problem for the bride and groom and they accommodated you. If your children had been invited, they would have been ON THE INVITATION OMG.

THE NAMES OF THE INVITED PEOPLE ARE ON THE INVITATION

“We are fine either way, just wanted to clarify” haha you are terrible. So rude. So self-centered.

[Anonymous]

I would ask and decline if they’re not invited. It doesn’t hurt to confirm. The brewery excuse is nonsense, kids are allowed at breweries.

[Anonymous]

Ask the niece’s parent. If you can’t tell from the invitation addressal, it is not clear that that “no kids”means under 18. The bride and groom may be thinking about the toddlers who can be unruly and not the teenagers. But if it’s still a no, I wouldn’t travel for it and I would send regrets.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s quite obvious your kids aren’t invited. But your whole guilt trip of “occasions are for the whole familyyyyy, blah blah blah” makes clear you want an exception made for you. Just send your regrets and a nice gift.

[Anonymous]

If I was having a “no-kids” wedding, I would be their king about little kids who need babysitting. I would expect teenage cousins to come. I would definitely call the bride’s mother and ask the question. It’s fine to clarify. If they can’t come, I would stay home but send an nice gift.

[Anonymous]

Also, is the wedding itself the only opportunity to see family? If you are flying cross country I assume you would be there for a few days? A brunch the morning after, a low key get together the night before? It could still be a great time for your kids to travel and see family even if they don't go to this one event...