Depressed about my kid

[Anonymous]

I have a humanities major from an ivy. I also ended up with a technical PhD and have been employed in my field continuously.

It isn’t that hard to regroup and fill in the missing classes and skills if you wake up one day and want something different.

[Anonymous]

The ‘GPA doesn’t matter’ crowd are either the dumbest sons of B’s or just coping because their or their kid’s college grades are terrible.

GPA matters a great deal. The low GPA kiddos at Ivies end up in shithole grad programs or at a regular 9-5 any idiot off the street can walk into.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I love how OP said - We chose Columbia. That says a lot. I’m an immigrant and we are unfortunately paying full but ultimately my kid chose their college. My husband and I gave advice but the final decision was my kid’s to make, not ours.

OP, please give your kid some time to breathe. Sounds like a smart kid. Let them figure it out. Bumps in the road are nerve wracking but totally normal

OP here. DC also was thrilled to go to Columbia (which is why it’s so sad seeing them tank). First choice out of all the accepted schools. And to those of you saying I’m a fake troll…. I wish.

Hold on, I didn't wade through all the pages of crazy.
A kid with a 3.7 is considered to be "tanking?"
They are not tanking, they may be taking some time to figure out who they are without a neurotic and overbearing parent harping over them 24x7.
Give them some space and encouragement, not constant judgement and haranguing.

A 3.7 definitely isn’t tanking, but it’s not a great GPA either.

Your GPA matters way less in college than it does in high school.

It still matters.

- Signed, 3.3 GPA Harvard grad

A 3.3 is much lower than a 3.7. A 3.3 Philosophy major would be in a worse spot.

You're telling me. 3.7 is obviously in a better spot, my point was just that it does matter.

GPA doesn’t matter. Major does.

Hi, I'm PP. I come from a time before on campus recruiting was super important and you just applied to jobs blind out of the newspaper. I don't realize that the best jobs are filled through OCR these days and there are GPA cutoffs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The ‘GPA doesn’t matter’ crowd are either the dumbest sons of B’s or just coping because their or their kid’s college grades are terrible.

GPA matters a great deal. The low GPA kiddos at Ivies end up in shithole grad programs or at a regular 9-5 any idiot off the street can walk into.

If OP’s kid were in high school I would agree. But this is college. But OP’s kid has a 3.7 at Columbia and still has two years left to improve that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ‘GPA doesn’t matter’ crowd are either the dumbest sons of B’s or just coping because their or their kid’s college grades are terrible.

GPA matters a great deal. The low GPA kiddos at Ivies end up in shithole grad programs or at a regular 9-5 any idiot off the street can walk into.

If OP’s kid were in high school I would agree. But this is college. But OP’s kid has a 3.7 at Columbia and still has two years left to improve that.

I've been posting about how GPA does in fact matter but I agree with this on the specific case of OP's DC. OP is hyperventilating.

[Anonymous]

3.7 is not a low GPA. You people are crazy. Truly. And you are making yourselves and your kids miserable. If he is taking challenging courses in fields he enjoys and does his best, that is enough. He is at an Ivy. Get a grip. And I am not an idiot. I am an Ivy grad and there are plenty of people at my company who earn plenty of money without an Ivy degree at all. You people live in an alternate universe as destructive--in a different way--than the anti-vaxxers.

[Anonymous]

I was the OP’s kid and I now have a successful career, happy family, and a strained and distant relationship with the parent who said these things about me years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was the OP’s kid and I now have a successful career, happy family, and a strained and distant relationship with the parent who said these things about me years ago.

Or maybe you’re just ungrateful for all the sacrifices your parents made for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a depressing thread. What matters is that your kid takes advantage of the opportunity to learn and take classes in the subjects that interest them at a challenging level regardless of whether he always gets the A. In other words to grow as a person and a thinker. This will position him to contribute the most to society in whatever way that turns out to be. If OP is a troll, so be it. So many of those who are responding have such a narrow view of the world. I am a HYP grad, and the only real way to throw away a degree from a place like that is to view it as a commercial endeavor rather than an opportunity to learn. And in the end of the day, he can always go to law school.

Newsflash: Most kids (unless they’re the independently wealthy 1%) view college as a commercial endeavor — even those at Ivies. Are you seriously saying that most kids at Ivies are throwing away their degree? There’s a reason why CS is the most popular major at Harvard.

[Anonymous]

Newsflash. There was life before college became vocational education, and the Ivys are a place where you can learn and explore and do fine getting a job. (Lots of other schools too--my DH went to a state school and makes more money than me.) If your kid wants to be a computer scientist fine. I hope they do it because they enjoy it. So many people on this thread have a truly messed up view of the world. The sad thing is that you can't see it. Neither can the anti-vaxxers. Have you tried reasoning with one of them. Present them with evidence and they will deny it. Say you are better vaccinated than in a hospital and they will deny it. The reasoning on here is often similar. You can criticize my view all you want, but just know I went to HYP so it is not idiotic. Only half-way kidding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The ‘GPA doesn’t matter’ crowd are either the dumbest sons of B’s or just coping because their or their kid’s college grades are terrible.

GPA matters a great deal. The low GPA kiddos at Ivies end up in shithole grad programs or at a regular 9-5 any idiot off the street can walk into.

+1

OP your kid needs to get his act together ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Newsflash. There was life before college became vocational education, and the Ivys are a place where you can learn and explore and do fine getting a job. (Lots of other schools too--my DH went to a state school and makes more money than me.) If your kid wants to be a computer scientist fine. I hope they do it because they enjoy it. So many people on this thread have a truly messed up view of the world. The sad thing is that you can't see it. Neither can the anti-vaxxers. Have you tried reasoning with one of them. Present them with evidence and they will deny it. Say you are better vaccinated than in a hospital and they will deny it. The reasoning on here is often similar. You can criticize my view all you want, but just know I went to HYP so it is not idiotic. Only half-way kidding.

That time is over now. It ain’t the 80s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Newsflash. There was life before college became vocational education, and the Ivys are a place where you can learn and explore and do fine getting a job. (Lots of other schools too--my DH went to a state school and makes more money than me.) If your kid wants to be a computer scientist fine. I hope they do it because they enjoy it. So many people on this thread have a truly messed up view of the world. The sad thing is that you can't see it. Neither can the anti-vaxxers. Have you tried reasoning with one of them. Present them with evidence and they will deny it. Say you are better vaccinated than in a hospital and they will deny it. The reasoning on here is often similar. You can criticize my view all you want, but just know I went to HYP so it is not idiotic. Only half-way kidding.

Yeah, there was. It was the time before college costs doubled and it was in a time when only the really wealthy attended college.

[Anonymous]

Only the really wealthy attended college?!? You prove my point about being impervious to facts. Tell that to all my friends from HYP who had scholarships from the school. Tell that to my DH who was raised by a single parent with a low paying job. You sleep in the bed you make, but you might consider redoing your room and putting in some more windows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was the OP’s kid and I now have a successful career, happy family, and a strained and distant relationship with the parent who said these things about me years ago.

Or maybe you’re just ungrateful for all the sacrifices your parents made for you?

DP. I love my parents but there really aren’t too many sacrifices most Ivy parents make. If your kid isn’t self-motivated then it won’t happen. And the financial sacrifices to send your kid to an Ivy are actually less because of the more generous financial aid.