Depressed about my kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The ‘GPA doesn’t matter’ crowd are either the dumbest sons of B’s or just coping because their or their kid’s college grades are terrible.

GPA matters a great deal. The low GPA kiddos at Ivies end up in shithole grad programs or at a regular 9-5 any idiot off the street can walk into.

DP. I had a mediocre GPA at an Ivy and went to a T-14 law school. I also have a friend with a high GPA that struggled to get into a good law school (ultimately got off the waitlist). The thing that matters the most for grad school is your standardized test scores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was the OP’s kid and I now have a successful career, happy family, and a strained and distant relationship with the parent who said these things about me years ago.

Or maybe you’re just ungrateful for all the sacrifices your parents made for you?

DP. I love my parents but there really aren’t too many sacrifices most Ivy parents make. If your kid isn’t self-motivated then it won’t happen. And the financial sacrifices to send your kid to an Ivy are actually less because of the more generous financial aid.

I think pp meant the sacrifices before college. The sacrifices needed to live in a good school zone, strutting the kid to activities, and similar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was the OP’s kid and I now have a successful career, happy family, and a strained and distant relationship with the parent who said these things about me years ago.

Or maybe you’re just ungrateful for all the sacrifices your parents made for you?

DP. I love my parents but there really aren’t too many sacrifices most Ivy parents make. If your kid isn’t self-motivated then it won’t happen. And the financial sacrifices to send your kid to an Ivy are actually less because of the more generous financial aid.

I think pp meant the sacrifices before college. The sacrifices needed to live in a good school zone, strutting the kid to activities, and similar.

Exactly. The least my ingrate of a kid can do after all this is major in something lucrative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only the really wealthy attended college?!? You prove my point about being impervious to facts. Tell that to all my friends from HYP who had scholarships from the school. Tell that to my DH who was raised by a single parent with a low paying job. You sleep in the bed you make, but you might consider redoing your room and putting in some more windows.

When did you go it college? The 90s? Whatever your experience is, it’s not relevant at all since the job market has changed so much. STEM is EVERYTHING.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only the really wealthy attended college?!? You prove my point about being impervious to facts. Tell that to all my friends from HYP who had scholarships from the school. Tell that to my DH who was raised by a single parent with a low paying job. You sleep in the bed you make, but you might consider redoing your room and putting in some more windows.

When did you go it college? The 90s? Whatever your experience is, it’s not relevant at all since the job market has changed so much. STEM is EVERYTHING.

I could name a few non-STEM majors that beat biology right out of the gate (med school is a crapshoot).

[Anonymous]

Stem is not everything. There is law school, remember. Again, impervious to facts. Not to mention a host of other types of jobs that may be less lucrative but still support a good living.

[Anonymous]

Law school isn't what it used to be. I used to work with doc review attorneys. The pit of despair runs deep.

[Anonymous]

I know plenty of attorneys in private practice and government. They work hard, but they are not miserable. They make good livings. I would think a person in a stem field who wasn't really suited for that would be miserable. Law attracts non-stem types. Nothing wrong with that. Not everyone is the same.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Not sure how this managed to go on for 17 pages with very little practical advice. But if anyone has any tips on how I can steer my kid towards good majors and internships, I’d appreciate it. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Not sure how this managed to go on for 17 pages with very little practical advice. But if anyone has any tips on how I can steer my kid towards good majors and internships, I’d appreciate it. Thanks.

Why can’t you just make him do STEM? Is he really that lazy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Not sure how this managed to go on for 17 pages with very little practical advice. But if anyone has any tips on how I can steer my kid towards good majors and internships, I’d appreciate it. Thanks.

Why can’t you just make him do STEM? Is he really that lazy?

OP’s child is a junior—it’s too late to change majors. And STEM is hard, you know.

[Anonymous]

STEM isn’t the answer to everything. DD majored in pubic relations and is doing great.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I had a long, hard talk with DC yesterday. Part of the reason why they don’t want to do STEM is because of their lack of “math confidence.” While they have always worked hard at math in high school, their math and science grades have been variable (B minus to A minus) while their humanities grades in high school and college have always been much higher. When I told them this was because of grade inflation in the humanities (not as much in STEM) and not because they were bad at math and hard sciences, DC wouldn’t believe me. I told them that I think they’d be able to reasonably handle STEM at their school if they just worked really hard, but his math and science confidence is shot.

This makes me so sad. DH (an engineering PhD) tutored this kid nearly every day in math in high school, so all that work has gone to waste now that my kid is in a fluffy major. We also made my kid do Science Olympiad and Robotics Team in high school, and he said that turned him off from STEM in college. This is disappointing, to say the least. Does anyone know how we can rekindle his interest in STEM and boost his confidence? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

OP here again. I’d like to add that my kid is also depressed that he failed to secure an internship for the second summer in a row. When I told him he should switch to CS to make the search easier for next year, he refused and started pouting which was very immature of him. Super frustrating.

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to stop this behavior and get professional help. Why are you still posting about your child. I feel sorry for him.