Depressed about my kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how OP said - We chose Columbia. That says a lot. I’m an immigrant and we are unfortunately paying full but ultimately my kid chose their college. My husband and I gave advice but the final decision was my kid’s to make, not ours.

OP, please give your kid some time to breathe. Sounds like a smart kid. Let them figure it out. Bumps in the road are nerve wracking but totally normal

OP here. DC also was thrilled to go to Columbia (which is why it’s so sad seeing them tank). First choice out of all the accepted schools. And to those of you saying I’m a fake troll…. I wish.

Hold on, I didn't wade through all the pages of crazy.
A kid with a 3.7 is considered to be "tanking?"
They are not tanking, they may be taking some time to figure out who they are without a neurotic and overbearing parent harping over them 24x7.
Give them some space and encouragement, not constant judgement and haranguing.

A 3.7 definitely isn’t tanking, but it’s not a great GPA either.

[Anonymous]

There are many paths to success. My son attended what many here consider to be a 4th tier Radford University as a golf recruit with 25% scholarship. He was also not a good student with a 2.2 GPA majoring in marketing. He got a summer job at Chevy Chase country club and there he caught the attention of a young lady who is now his wife because of his golf ability. She introduced him to play golf with her father, and her father introduced him to play with other “decision” makers. Fast forward to now, he is in charge of both the sale and marketing team with people who graduated from HYPS report to him. He is making so much money now that it is crazy. Not bad for a kid who came to America at the age of 7 with his immigrant parents from Hungary.

Where you go to college does matter IF AND ONLY IF you know how to leverage this connections. Otherwise, you’re just wasting money. Academic success does not translate into a successful career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are many paths to success. My son attended what many here consider to be a 4th tier Radford University as a golf recruit with 25% scholarship. He was also not a good student with a 2.2 GPA majoring in marketing. He got a summer job at Chevy Chase country club and there he caught the attention of a young lady who is now his wife because of his golf ability. She introduced him to play golf with her father, and her father introduced him to play with other “decision” makers. Fast forward to now, he is in charge of both the sale and marketing team with people who graduated from HYPS report to him. He is making so much money now that it is crazy. Not bad for a kid who came to America at the age of 7 with his immigrant parents from Hungary.

Where you go to college does matter IF AND ONLY IF you know how to leverage this connections. Otherwise, you’re just wasting money. Academic success does not translate into a successful career.

Blah blah this is a variation on the penn state golf post. Stop trolling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how OP said - We chose Columbia. That says a lot. I’m an immigrant and we are unfortunately paying full but ultimately my kid chose their college. My husband and I gave advice but the final decision was my kid’s to make, not ours.

OP, please give your kid some time to breathe. Sounds like a smart kid. Let them figure it out. Bumps in the road are nerve wracking but totally normal

OP here. DC also was thrilled to go to Columbia (which is why it’s so sad seeing them tank). First choice out of all the accepted schools. And to those of you saying I’m a fake troll…. I wish.

Hold on, I didn't wade through all the pages of crazy.
A kid with a 3.7 is considered to be "tanking?"
They are not tanking, they may be taking some time to figure out who they are without a neurotic and overbearing parent harping over them 24x7.
Give them some space and encouragement, not constant judgement and haranguing.

A 3.7 definitely isn’t tanking, but it’s not a great GPA either.

Your GPA matters way less in college than it does in high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are an anxious mess. Why is it surprising that your child is having issues. Your child has a 3.7 at Columbia.

Get a grip. Get therapy. Will you child be the CEO of a fortune 100 company, probably not. Will your child have a good job and make a good life for herself, probably. Will she be happy, I do not know but it seems like she was raised in a high pressure home and is making good decisions despite that so maybe.

Your child is not you. I cannot stress enough how many red flags your post has. In 10 years your child may be posting on a mommy forum with questions about how to grey rock her overbearing mother for whom nothing is ever enough.

+1

Therapy for everyone. Stat.

[Anonymous]

OP -- your son will end up in law school, trust me. I'm a law prof, and they all end up in law school eventually.

[Anonymous]

OP you’re right. Harsh truth is your kid is wasting the Ivy degree—connections, academics, extracurriculars etc. are all super important and it doesn’t seem like your kid is taking advantage of that. Might as well just send em to a state school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how OP said - We chose Columbia. That says a lot. I’m an immigrant and we are unfortunately paying full but ultimately my kid chose their college. My husband and I gave advice but the final decision was my kid’s to make, not ours.

OP, please give your kid some time to breathe. Sounds like a smart kid. Let them figure it out. Bumps in the road are nerve wracking but totally normal

OP here. DC also was thrilled to go to Columbia (which is why it’s so sad seeing them tank). First choice out of all the accepted schools. And to those of you saying I’m a fake troll…. I wish.

Hold on, I didn't wade through all the pages of crazy.
A kid with a 3.7 is considered to be "tanking?"
They are not tanking, they may be taking some time to figure out who they are without a neurotic and overbearing parent harping over them 24x7.
Give them some space and encouragement, not constant judgement and haranguing.

A 3.7 definitely isn’t tanking, but it’s not a great GPA either.

Your GPA matters way less in college than it does in high school.

It still matters.

- Signed, 3.3 GPA Harvard grad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are many paths to success. My son attended what many here consider to be a 4th tier Radford University as a golf recruit with 25% scholarship. He was also not a good student with a 2.2 GPA majoring in marketing. He got a summer job at Chevy Chase country club and there he caught the attention of a young lady who is now his wife because of his golf ability. She introduced him to play golf with her father, and her father introduced him to play with other “decision” makers. Fast forward to now, he is in charge of both the sale and marketing team with people who graduated from HYPS report to him. He is making so much money now that it is crazy. Not bad for a kid who came to America at the age of 7 with his immigrant parents from Hungary.

Where you go to college does matter IF AND ONLY IF you know how to leverage this connections. Otherwise, you’re just wasting money. Academic success does not translate into a successful career.

My son came from a much poorer nation at 14 and couldn't read or write. Majored in ditch-digging at Longwood. One day he was digging a ditch and discovered a POT OF GOLD. A leprechaun granted him three wishes and he rewrote the entire universe/timeline and became PRINCE HARRY. He is now married to MEGAN MARKLE and employs a legion of MIT graduates to keep him in lattes and colonics.

Where you go to college does matter IF AND ONLY IF you know how to leverage this connections. Otherwise, you’re just wasting money. Academic success does not translate into a successful career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
+1

OP, have your kid apply for all the professional/academic striver clubs again in September when everyone is back. For the record, I’d be incredibly unhappy if my (clearly bright) kid was slacking off at the first opportunity s/he gets. Your kid should be grateful to be at such a prestigious school, and s/he needs to repay that gratitude by using the Columbia degree to get a high paying job after graduation. Everything else is just fluff.

This is fantasy and honestly pointless. Rising seniors don't apply to clubs anymore, they're over that crap. And it'd be super weird to have some random old upperclassman who's never participated in the club randomly begin attending / applying with freshmen. Rising seniors are supposed to be LEADERS of clubs, not trying to join along side 17 and 18 yo freshman. And of course the OP's kid doesn't listen to mom and dad, they're not going to start now, so this is just delusional.

OP's kid is baked in the cake. After graduation all the rich "friends" will retreat off to their affluent enclaves, be jet-setters and loafers and marry each other -- and OP's kid won't be able to keep up and the "friendships" will quickly fade.

OP's kid won't realized they pissed away the opportunity until it's too late.

+1

OP, if your kid is a rising junior, it’s not too late to take a gap year and transfer to the state school. S/he’d probably be able to handle CS or at least accounting there. Do it. Your kid will thank you in the future.

What is wrong with you people? Do you genuinely believe a kid with an A minus average in a tough major at an elite school is doomed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how OP said - We chose Columbia. That says a lot. I’m an immigrant and we are unfortunately paying full but ultimately my kid chose their college. My husband and I gave advice but the final decision was my kid’s to make, not ours.

OP, please give your kid some time to breathe. Sounds like a smart kid. Let them figure it out. Bumps in the road are nerve wracking but totally normal

OP here. DC also was thrilled to go to Columbia (which is why it’s so sad seeing them tank). First choice out of all the accepted schools. And to those of you saying I’m a fake troll…. I wish.

Hold on, I didn't wade through all the pages of crazy.
A kid with a 3.7 is considered to be "tanking?"
They are not tanking, they may be taking some time to figure out who they are without a neurotic and overbearing parent harping over them 24x7.
Give them some space and encouragement, not constant judgement and haranguing.

A 3.7 definitely isn’t tanking, but it’s not a great GPA either.

Your GPA matters way less in college than it does in high school.

It still matters.

- Signed, 3.3 GPA Harvard grad

A 3.3 is much lower than a 3.7. A 3.3 Philosophy major would be in a worse spot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how OP said - We chose Columbia. That says a lot. I’m an immigrant and we are unfortunately paying full but ultimately my kid chose their college. My husband and I gave advice but the final decision was my kid’s to make, not ours.

OP, please give your kid some time to breathe. Sounds like a smart kid. Let them figure it out. Bumps in the road are nerve wracking but totally normal

OP here. DC also was thrilled to go to Columbia (which is why it’s so sad seeing them tank). First choice out of all the accepted schools. And to those of you saying I’m a fake troll…. I wish.

Hold on, I didn't wade through all the pages of crazy.
A kid with a 3.7 is considered to be "tanking?"
They are not tanking, they may be taking some time to figure out who they are without a neurotic and overbearing parent harping over them 24x7.
Give them some space and encouragement, not constant judgement and haranguing.

A 3.7 definitely isn’t tanking, but it’s not a great GPA either.

Your GPA matters way less in college than it does in high school.

It still matters.

- Signed, 3.3 GPA Harvard grad

A 3.3 is much lower than a 3.7. A 3.3 Philosophy major would be in a worse spot.

You're telling me. 3.7 is obviously in a better spot, my point was just that it does matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how OP said - We chose Columbia. That says a lot. I’m an immigrant and we are unfortunately paying full but ultimately my kid chose their college. My husband and I gave advice but the final decision was my kid’s to make, not ours.

OP, please give your kid some time to breathe. Sounds like a smart kid. Let them figure it out. Bumps in the road are nerve wracking but totally normal

OP here. DC also was thrilled to go to Columbia (which is why it’s so sad seeing them tank). First choice out of all the accepted schools. And to those of you saying I’m a fake troll…. I wish.

Hold on, I didn't wade through all the pages of crazy.
A kid with a 3.7 is considered to be "tanking?"
They are not tanking, they may be taking some time to figure out who they are without a neurotic and overbearing parent harping over them 24x7.
Give them some space and encouragement, not constant judgement and haranguing.

A 3.7 definitely isn’t tanking, but it’s not a great GPA either.

Your GPA matters way less in college than it does in high school.

It still matters.

- Signed, 3.3 GPA Harvard grad

A 3.3 is much lower than a 3.7. A 3.3 Philosophy major would be in a worse spot.

You're telling me. 3.7 is obviously in a better spot, my point was just that it does matter.

GPA doesn’t matter. Major does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are many paths to success. My son attended what many here consider to be a 4th tier Radford University as a golf recruit with 25% scholarship. He was also not a good student with a 2.2 GPA majoring in marketing. He got a summer job at Chevy Chase country club and there he caught the attention of a young lady who is now his wife because of his golf ability. She introduced him to play golf with her father, and her father introduced him to play with other “decision” makers. Fast forward to now, he is in charge of both the sale and marketing team with people who graduated from HYPS report to him. He is making so much money now that it is crazy. Not bad for a kid who came to America at the age of 7 with his immigrant parents from Hungary.

Where you go to college does matter IF AND ONLY IF you know how to leverage this connections. Otherwise, you’re just wasting money. Academic success does not translate into a successful career.

My son came from a much poorer nation at 14 and couldn't read or write. Majored in ditch-digging at Longwood. One day he was digging a ditch and discovered a POT OF GOLD. A leprechaun granted him three wishes and he rewrote the entire universe/timeline and became PRINCE HARRY. He is now married to MEGAN MARKLE and employs a legion of MIT graduates to keep him in lattes and colonics.

Where you go to college does matter IF AND ONLY IF you know how to leverage this connections. Otherwise, you’re just wasting money. Academic success does not translate into a successful career.

My dc went to University of Butthole and majored in Cannabis Science with a minor in men’s studies. They/them are now a successful street pharmacist.

[Anonymous]

This is a depressing thread. What matters is that your kid takes advantage of the opportunity to learn and take classes in the subjects that interest them at a challenging level regardless of whether he always gets the A. In other words to grow as a person and a thinker. This will position him to contribute the most to society in whatever way that turns out to be. If OP is a troll, so be it. So many of those who are responding have such a narrow view of the world. I am a HYP grad, and the only real way to throw away a degree from a place like that is to view it as a commercial endeavor rather than an opportunity to learn. And in the end of the day, he can always go to law school.