Turned down friends thermostat during the night and they feel I did something wrong....Question

[Anonymous]

This thread is so funny. It gave me life. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

This is weird. You’re both wrong.

[Anonymous]

Super rude. Open the window

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Super rude. Open the window

Why are you still commenting on this days later. Did you read where OP provided more context. Not rude. OP has intimate decades long relationship w the person who thermostat shamed he/she/they/them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok so now we know OP and (insert pronoun) are intimate. My question is what happened before going to sleep? (besides the obvious.) More to this story. Homeowner is pissed off about something and thermostat was a convenient way to start a fight.

Two menopausal lesbians on the spectrum?

It sounds like two women fighting since this is all a little petty. A guy would be more chill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. It’s been a few days. I’ve been busy. You all are hilarious and wound-way-too-tight. Yes, we are (were maybe) in an intimate relationship. We were in the same bed and they were asleep. I thought I could be comfortable there and the response I got indicated a different level of relationship than I thought we had. It was my second time spending the night although I’ve been there numerous other times. We’ve actually known each other for decades. We dated exclusively earlier in our lives.

Maybe I turned the thermostat down 2 degrees and not 3. Either-way, the reaction felt over the top to me and judgmental. They mentioned something about the thermostat and I said I changed it not thinking it would cause the rest of our time together to be ruined. I surely would not have uttered a word if I thought they would snap back at me and then keep going on and on about it like I had committed a criminal act. Seriously now. If it were my home and someone who has seen me naked and more who I’ve known for decades adjusted my thermostat I could have cared less.

Geez, OP, this s TOTALLY different than the scenario you presented and it is really about what are considered normal boundaries in an intimate relationship and you should have just asked if this was controlling or something or if your partner is simply around the bend, which is a totally different conversation. And even then it is a matter to be settled between yourself and "they" and whether this is a quirk you're willing to tolerate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. It’s been a few days. I’ve been busy. You all are hilarious and wound-way-too-tight. Yes, we are (were maybe) in an intimate relationship. We were in the same bed and they were asleep. I thought I could be comfortable there and the response I got indicated a different level of relationship than I thought we had. It was my second time spending the night although I’ve been there numerous other times. We’ve actually known each other for decades. We dated exclusively earlier in our lives.

Maybe I turned the thermostat down 2 degrees and not 3. Either-way, the reaction felt over the top to me and judgmental. They mentioned something about the thermostat and I said I changed it not thinking it would cause the rest of our time together to be ruined. I surely would not have uttered a word if I thought they would snap back at me and then keep going on and on about it like I had committed a criminal act. Seriously now. If it were my home and someone who has seen me naked and more who I’ve known for decades adjusted my thermostat I could have cared less.

Yeah this seems like kind of an over the top reaction from someone having a relationship with you. Hope it works out and doesn't end over a thermostat. Or maybe this is a sign that it should end.

This changes my reaction. But you used the plural 'friends' and 'they' so what else are we commenters supposed to think? The normal judgments can be thrown out an open window.

I’m human. Was upset when I posted. Intended to say friends not plural. I’m referring to they to not indicate gender. I was visiting and sleeping w a sole intimate partner not multiple people. Thanks

Thank you op - this clarifies so much. Gender doesn’t matter but it was very confusing to think of you staying with married or coupled friends and staging in the same room. People can be sensitive about their thermostats...

[Anonymous]

This is why I detest singular they. It doesn’t work. It is a communication fail. It is absolutely a different story if you are talking about a singular person with whom you are intimate. I don’t care one bit the gender, but using “they” doesn’t work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why I detest singular they. It doesn’t work. It is a communication fail. It is absolutely a different story if you are talking about a singular person with whom you are intimate. I don’t care one bit the gender, but using “they” doesn’t work.

Okay. And this is how non binary individuals often refer to themselves —as they/them.

[Anonymous]

Omg this whole thread to find out this was some stupid lover’s quarrel. “They” wasn’t the only issue. Use an apostrophe—friend’s! No one cares about your spat. Boring!

[Anonymous]

^^lovers’! Correcting my own post!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reminds me of when I had moved into a place, fairly low income neighborhood, during grad school and neighbor's kids came over to introduce themselves. The 10 year old went straight to my fridge and opened up the freezer door. I was so shocked. When I was a kid other people's fridges were completely alien territory--the rare occasion I saw inside one of them the contents seemed weird to me! I had no idea kids might be brought up where this was ok.

A couple of months later they came over to borrow butter because they were making rice krispie bars. Sure, I said. Then they asked to borrow Rice Krispies and marshmallows. Their mom (single, but she married while I lived there and within a year was sending the kids over to call 911 when she and new husband were fighting, moved away not long after) clearly was not up to the task of raising kids.

What in the ever loving hell does this have to do with this thread?

OP, if you are close enough to share a room, you are close enough to adjust the thermostat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I detest singular they. It doesn’t work. It is a communication fail. It is absolutely a different story if you are talking about a singular person with whom you are intimate. I don’t care one bit the gender, but using “they” doesn’t work.

Okay. And this is how non binary individuals often refer to themselves —as they/them.

They, meaning more than one, should choose a word that does not have an inconsistent meaning.

[Anonymous]

I’m thinking that maybe this relationship is harder than it needs to be, OP. Life has its own challenges, and the right partner should help you weather the storms, not walk on eggshells over really trivial s**t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg this whole thread to find out this was some stupid lover’s quarrel. “They” wasn’t the only issue. Use an apostrophe—friend’s! No one cares about your spat. Boring!

If that’s the case why in the he double ll are you here reading and commenting. No one is forcing this on you. You aren’t a victim here.