Turned down friends thermostat during the night and they feel I did something wrong....Question

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why the idea that "they" can be used in the singular is so problematic. OP, the forum is anonymous. You could have assigned whatever gender to you and your partner you wanted. People spent pages thinking you were talking about a couple because of your use of "they."

I got the distinct impression that it was a threesome or more and the whole thing suddenly seemed comically creepy. With such a bizarre dynamic, it's easy to just dismiss everyone involved as looking for drama over dust-bunnies.

[Anonymous]

Rude of the hosts to react that way. They are neither gracious nor your friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rude of the hosts to react that way. They are neither gracious nor your friends.

Host, singular. It was one person, a paramour.

[Anonymous]

Now that we've established that it's rude to change the homeowner's thermostat without asking,
What about if someone is renting a room in your home? Should they feel entitled to change the whole home's temperature whenever they wish?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now that we've established that it's rude to change the homeowner's thermostat without asking,
What about if someone is renting a room in your home? Should they feel entitled to change the whole home's temperature whenever they wish?

Obviously not, but they have every right to ask for a compromise whole-house temperature (can we just take it down a couple of degrees?) and to control the temperature in their room.

[Anonymous]

Changing thermostat without permission socially is considered rude. Letting them know you genuinely didn’t know (maybe offer to pay a couple bucks or provide something small) and apologize. If they can’t forgive you, then it’s on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spent the night at a friends house and got hot during the night. Was hot but did not want to wake them. I went and turned the thermostat down 3 degrees and this morning they were angry that I touched their thermostat and turned it down 2 degrees —from 71-68. They said no one who is a guest at someone’s home would turn down the temperature without asking. Nobody. I explained that I did not know it was a problem. Really. If I had known it was a problem I would not have done it. Honestly did not think this would be a problem and tried to tell them this. They told me to take a poll of my friends or anyone to see what they say. I’m posting here to get feedback also. I’m honestly confused and they can’t understand me and I don’t understand them. Feedback please. TIA

That's three to four degrees, not "2 degrees"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Changing thermostat without permission socially is considered rude. Letting them know you genuinely didn’t know (maybe offer to pay a couple bucks or provide something small) and apologize. If they can’t forgive you, then it’s on them.

Why did you dig up this thread from 2 1/2 years ago?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Changing thermostat without permission socially is considered rude. Letting them know you genuinely didn’t know (maybe offer to pay a couple bucks or provide something small) and apologize. If they can’t forgive you, then it’s on them.

Why did you dig up this thread from 2 1/2 years ago?

I turned the thread back 3-4 years because I was hot.

[Anonymous]

I can’t stress enough that i would not be friends with anyone who scolded me for this.
Wtf
If someone adjusted the thermostat in our home when they were staying if I felt strongly I’d change it back but ideally I’d just leave it bc they are a guest and want them to be happy. If your hosts environment is so rigid and rarified they should not have guests.
Get better friends

[Anonymous]

I guess I’m the odd one out, but if I’m close enough to someone that I’ve invited them to spend the night in my home, I would hope they feel comfortable enough to bump the thermostat a few degrees. Anything between about 68-72(ish) seems normal to me. I want my guests to be comfy. Even if it had annoyed me I would never in a million years try to make them feel bad about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Changing thermostat without permission socially is considered rude. Letting them know you genuinely didn’t know (maybe offer to pay a couple bucks or provide something small) and apologize. If they can’t forgive you, then it’s on them.

Why did you dig up this thread from 2 1/2 years ago?

I turned the thread back 3-4 years because I was hot.

[Anonymous]

Elaine from Seinfeld. Remember the episode? One of my favorites!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I’m the odd one out, but if I’m close enough to someone that I’ve invited them to spend the night in my home, I would hope they feel comfortable enough to bump the thermostat a few degrees. Anything between about 68-72(ish) seems normal to me. I want my guests to be comfy. Even if it had annoyed me I would never in a million years try to make them feel bad about it.

When I host people I show them where the thermostat is located and tell them to feel free to adjust it…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spent the night at a friends house and got hot during the night. Was hot but did not want to wake them. I went and turned the thermostat down 3 degrees and this morning they were angry that I touched their thermostat and turned it down 2 degrees —from 71-68. They said no one who is a guest at someone’s home would turn down the temperature without asking. Nobody. I explained that I did not know it was a problem. Really. If I had known it was a problem I would not have done it. Honestly did not think this would be a problem and tried to tell them this. They told me to take a poll of my friends or anyone to see what they say. I’m posting here to get feedback also. I’m honestly confused and they can’t understand me and I don’t understand them. Feedback please. TIA

That's three to four degrees, not "2 degrees"

That’s 3 degrees. Not 4, not 2.