Turned down friends thermostat during the night and they feel I did something wrong....Question

[Anonymous]

1. It's not polite to turn down a thermostat without first asking the host, so if the host is asleep, it's best to undress as much as you can, or perhaps toss your bedcovers aside.

2. Why? Because you must always look for a solution that impacts you and only you. Turning down the thermostat affects the entire household. If they are used to sleeping at that temperature, it's not polite to make them uncomfortable. You may also not be aware of the needs of others: for example, I have a tropical bird who will not survive below a certain temperature. I also have a northern breed dog who will overheat past a certain temperature. Temperature control is a big deal for our household! But even if you're only dealing with humans, it's still impolite to inconvenience others.

3. That being said, in certain households, the guest is king. If you had been my guest, I would not have scolded you (68 is fine for my pets), because your comfort if important to me. However, I would definitely have wondered why you couldn't just take off your pyjamas or throw off your duvet... and would have privately thought you a tad inconsiderate.


3.

[Anonymous]

Why are you hot at 71 degrees? Why would they yell at you, their guest? They sound like poor hosts.

[Anonymous]

You guys deserve each other.

[Anonymous]

It was perhaps inappropriate, but they overreacted by a mile. If it was a faux pas it was extremely minor. Shaming houseguests over something so minor is much worse.

[Anonymous]

Very rude to touch a thermostat in someone else’s house.

[Anonymous]

I'm in the camp that your hosts were over the top to get angry, but I also find your behavior super odd.

What was going through your head? Did you think your hosts set the temperature where they did by accident? That they wouldn't notice the temperature changed and presumably be cold/uncomfortable?

Have you done other things at friends' houses like changing their drapes to something you think looks nicer? Repainting their living room?

[Anonymous]

Rude. How could you not think it was a problem?

[Anonymous]

Yes, you absolutely did something wrong and it’s kind of surprising that you have to survey a group of people to understand that. While if I were your friend I wouldn’t publicly confront or chastise you I would absolutely be taken aback and probably not invite you to stay again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very rude to touch a thermostat in someone else’s house.

I honestly has no idea that I was being rude. I’m menopausal. Hot flashes. We were sleeping in the same room and they were asleep. I don’t think this would have bothered me. But I hear everyone’s feedback.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very rude to touch a thermostat in someone else’s house.

I honestly has no idea that I was being rude. I’m menopausal. Hot flashes. We were sleeping in the same room and they were asleep. I don’t think this would have bothered me. But I hear everyone’s feedback.

*had

[Anonymous]

What makes you think this is okay? It’s just so self centered. Your comfort overrides the household? 71 is a perfectly reasonable temperature.

[Anonymous]

That’s really weird of you and I think it crossed a boundary. You should have slept in less clothes, taken covers off. How hot could 72 be?

I wouldn’t end a friendship over it, but my husband and I would probably joke about you when you left / before your next visit.

If I prefer to sleep at 72, I do not want to wake up to 68 - in my own house.

[Anonymous]

Probably OP and friends are close enough to have conversations like this. It's probably not the first time OP has acted in a thoughtless and self-centered manner, but since he/she refuses to see it, the friends told OP to ask around.

OP, you may be on the spectrum if this is so hard for you to understand. Please read the replies carefully and think about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very rude to touch a thermostat in someone else’s house.

I honestly has no idea that I was being rude. I’m menopausal. Hot flashes. We were sleeping in the same room and they were asleep. I don’t think this would have bothered me. But I hear everyone’s feedback.

This is the part that concerns us. If you're old enough to be in menopause, you're most definitely old enough to know that you can't do this. I think most of us assumed that you were in your 20s and clueless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Probably OP and friends are close enough to have conversations like this. It's probably not the first time OP has acted in a thoughtless and self-centered manner, but since he/she refuses to see it, the friends told OP to ask around.

OP, you may be on the spectrum if this is so hard for you to understand. Please read the replies carefully and think about it.

Speaking of over the top.