Would you not reciprocate a play date if friend’s house was too big?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My best mom friend is extremely wealthy. Their estate consists of a 27,000 sq ft home plus a separate theater and gym. We met in a Mommy & Me class when our oldest kids were babies. She is so generous in always hosting play dates and inviting us over for swimming. I reciprocate often but not every time because her play areas are just so amazing and huge. She also has a full time housekeeper, chef, gardener and a nanny for each child so she doesn’t have to do any clean up herself.

She is warm, down to earth and welcoming. I would suspect that maybe OP is off putting in other ways.

I posted something similar earlier. If this has happened frequently, as opposed to one time with the one person that prompted this post, there's something else going on when people go to OP's house.

Maybe it's her interactions with the older kids. Maybe it's the way the house is set up -- vast empty spaces, off-limits rooms?

Maybe she's weirdly formal in the house, or very circumscribed in where people can be.

Maybe she's unaware of how much time she spends directing her housekeeper while guests are over.

Maybe she expressed a political opinion that offended or upset the other mom.

I don't know. But if I liked someone well enough to go to their house, their would have to be some weirdness for me to just fade away beyond ostentatious wealth. I mean, I'm friends with people who are tacky in all kinds of different ways. Why not this one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best mom friend is extremely wealthy. Their estate consists of a 27,000 sq ft home plus a separate theater and gym. We met in a Mommy & Me class when our oldest kids were babies. She is so generous in always hosting play dates and inviting us over for swimming. I reciprocate often but not every time because her play areas are just so amazing and huge. She also has a full time housekeeper, chef, gardener and a nanny for each child so she doesn’t have to do any clean up herself.

She is warm, down to earth and welcoming. I would suspect that maybe OP is off putting in other ways.

I posted something similar earlier. If this has happened frequently, as opposed to one time with the one person that prompted this post, there's something else going on when people go to OP's house.

Maybe it's her interactions with the older kids. Maybe it's the way the house is set up -- vast empty spaces, off-limits rooms?

Maybe she's weirdly formal in the house, or very circumscribed in where people can be.

Maybe she's unaware of how much time she spends directing her housekeeper while guests are over.

Maybe she expressed a political opinion that offended or upset the other mom.

I don't know. But if I liked someone well enough to go to their house, their would have to be some weirdness for me to just fade away beyond ostentatious wealth. I mean, I'm friends with people who are tacky in all kinds of different ways. Why not this one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best mom friend is extremely wealthy. Their estate consists of a 27,000 sq ft home plus a separate theater and gym. We met in a Mommy & Me class when our oldest kids were babies. She is so generous in always hosting play dates and inviting us over for swimming. I reciprocate often but not every time because her play areas are just so amazing and huge. She also has a full time housekeeper, chef, gardener and a nanny for each child so she doesn’t have to do any clean up herself.

She is warm, down to earth and welcoming. I would suspect that maybe OP is off putting in other ways.

Tell us how OP is off putting. She has only posted once or twice. I am intrigued by this topic. PP here.

I don’t know. I was just stating that wealth alone is no reason to ghost someone. So it must have been something else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best mom friend is extremely wealthy. Their estate consists of a 27,000 sq ft home plus a separate theater and gym. We met in a Mommy & Me class when our oldest kids were babies. She is so generous in always hosting play dates and inviting us over for swimming. I reciprocate often but not every time because her play areas are just so amazing and huge. She also has a full time housekeeper, chef, gardener and a nanny for each child so she doesn’t have to do any clean up herself.

She is warm, down to earth and welcoming. I would suspect that maybe OP is off putting in other ways.

Well, except that it's quite possible that the mom friend was like many of the PPs on this thread who are just so distraught by the size of OP's house they can't see straight (in which case, they've actually done OP a favor by not being her friend because who needs judgmental people like that in their life?). The other option is as you've stated, that they can handle people who live life differently but there's something else either OP said or did that bothered them.

DP. OP has said a few questionable things here, like her multiple references to her "humble beginnings" and the thing mentioned previously about how are people even having occasion to tell her she doesn't understand because she doesn't do her own cleaning and laundry. OP comes off as faux humble, which people tend to be able to see through after a while. If you have the resources for a 15,000 sq ft house and a housekeeper and choose to live that lifestyle, be genuine and own it instead of pretending you're humble and modest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best mom friend is extremely wealthy. Their estate consists of a 27,000 sq ft home plus a separate theater and gym. We met in a Mommy & Me class when our oldest kids were babies. She is so generous in always hosting play dates and inviting us over for swimming. I reciprocate often but not every time because her play areas are just so amazing and huge. She also has a full time housekeeper, chef, gardener and a nanny for each child so she doesn’t have to do any clean up herself.

She is warm, down to earth and welcoming. I would suspect that maybe OP is off putting in other ways.

I posted something similar earlier. If this has happened frequently, as opposed to one time with the one person that prompted this post, there's something else going on when people go to OP's house.

Maybe it's her interactions with the older kids. Maybe it's the way the house is set up -- vast empty spaces, off-limits rooms?

Maybe she's weirdly formal in the house, or very circumscribed in where people can be.

Maybe she's unaware of how much time she spends directing her housekeeper while guests are over.

Maybe she expressed a political opinion that offended or upset the other mom.

I don't know. But if I liked someone well enough to go to their house, their would have to be some weirdness for me to just fade away beyond ostentatious wealth. I mean, I'm friends with people who are tacky in all kinds of different ways. Why not this one?

+1

Do certain types of people just look for something to complain about, perhaps? "She's too rich/poor/thin/fat/noisy/quiet/tall/short....." How ridiculous!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best mom friend is extremely wealthy. Their estate consists of a 27,000 sq ft home plus a separate theater and gym. We met in a Mommy & Me class when our oldest kids were babies. She is so generous in always hosting play dates and inviting us over for swimming. I reciprocate often but not every time because her play areas are just so amazing and huge. She also has a full time housekeeper, chef, gardener and a nanny for each child so she doesn’t have to do any clean up herself.

She is warm, down to earth and welcoming. I would suspect that maybe OP is off putting in other ways.

Well, except that it's quite possible that the mom friend was like many of the PPs on this thread who are just so distraught by the size of OP's house they can't see straight (in which case, they've actually done OP a favor by not being her friend because who needs judgmental people like that in their life?). The other option is as you've stated, that they can handle people who live life differently but there's something else either OP said or did that bothered them.

DP. OP has said a few questionable things here, like her multiple references to her "humble beginnings" and the thing mentioned previously about how are people even having occasion to tell her she doesn't understand because she doesn't do her own cleaning and laundry. OP comes off as faux humble, which people tend to be able to see through after a while. If you have the resources for a 15,000 sq ft house and a housekeeper and choose to live that lifestyle, be genuine and own it instead of pretending you're humble and modest.

How do you know anything about OP? Did you grow up with OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best mom friend is extremely wealthy. Their estate consists of a 27,000 sq ft home plus a separate theater and gym. We met in a Mommy & Me class when our oldest kids were babies. She is so generous in always hosting play dates and inviting us over for swimming. I reciprocate often but not every time because her play areas are just so amazing and huge. She also has a full time housekeeper, chef, gardener and a nanny for each child so she doesn’t have to do any clean up herself.

She is warm, down to earth and welcoming. I would suspect that maybe OP is off putting in other ways.

Well, except that it's quite possible that the mom friend was like many of the PPs on this thread who are just so distraught by the size of OP's house they can't see straight (in which case, they've actually done OP a favor by not being her friend because who needs judgmental people like that in their life?). The other option is as you've stated, that they can handle people who live life differently but there's something else either OP said or did that bothered them.

DP. OP has said a few questionable things here, like her multiple references to her "humble beginnings" and the thing mentioned previously about how are people even having occasion to tell her she doesn't understand because she doesn't do her own cleaning and laundry. OP comes off as faux humble, which people tend to be able to see through after a while. If you have the resources for a 15,000 sq ft house and a housekeeper and choose to live that lifestyle, be genuine and own it instead of pretending you're humble and modest.

How do you know anything about OP? Did you grow up with OP?

Even then, did you gorw up with OP in OP's house - residing with OP? PP here.

[Anonymous]

*grow

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best mom friend is extremely wealthy. Their estate consists of a 27,000 sq ft home plus a separate theater and gym. We met in a Mommy & Me class when our oldest kids were babies. She is so generous in always hosting play dates and inviting us over for swimming. I reciprocate often but not every time because her play areas are just so amazing and huge. She also has a full time housekeeper, chef, gardener and a nanny for each child so she doesn’t have to do any clean up herself.

She is warm, down to earth and welcoming. I would suspect that maybe OP is off putting in other ways.

Well, except that it's quite possible that the mom friend was like many of the PPs on this thread who are just so distraught by the size of OP's house they can't see straight (in which case, they've actually done OP a favor by not being her friend because who needs judgmental people like that in their life?). The other option is as you've stated, that they can handle people who live life differently but there's something else either OP said or did that bothered them.

DP. OP has said a few questionable things here, like her multiple references to her "humble beginnings" and the thing mentioned previously about how are people even having occasion to tell her she doesn't understand because she doesn't do her own cleaning and laundry. OP comes off as faux humble, which people tend to be able to see through after a while. If you have the resources for a 15,000 sq ft house and a housekeeper and choose to live that lifestyle, be genuine and own it instead of pretending you're humble and modest.

How do you know anything about OP? Did you grow up with OP?

What? PP is listing things OP said in this thread and the impression she gives in her posts. Why are you so aggressive on this post?

[Anonymous]

Maybe OP is genuine, we have no way of knowing unless we are perhaps part of her immediate family, assuming they lived together? PP here, trying to clarify.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where are 15000 square foot houses around here even located? Way out in some random exurb? That would be way more off putting to me than the actual size.

Here's one. On Chain Bridge Road in Washington DC

https://www.zillow.com/homes/for_sale/Washington-DC/67393834_zpid/41568_rid/12000-15000_size/globalrelevanceex_sort/39.086903,-76.676331,38.699444,-77.352677_rect/10_zm/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best mom friend is extremely wealthy. Their estate consists of a 27,000 sq ft home plus a separate theater and gym. We met in a Mommy & Me class when our oldest kids were babies. She is so generous in always hosting play dates and inviting us over for swimming. I reciprocate often but not every time because her play areas are just so amazing and huge. She also has a full time housekeeper, chef, gardener and a nanny for each child so she doesn’t have to do any clean up herself.

She is warm, down to earth and welcoming. I would suspect that maybe OP is off putting in other ways.

Well, except that it's quite possible that the mom friend was like many of the PPs on this thread who are just so distraught by the size of OP's house they can't see straight (in which case, they've actually done OP a favor by not being her friend because who needs judgmental people like that in their life?). The other option is as you've stated, that they can handle people who live life differently but there's something else either OP said or did that bothered them.

DP. OP has said a few questionable things here, like her multiple references to her "humble beginnings" and the thing mentioned previously about how are people even having occasion to tell her she doesn't understand because she doesn't do her own cleaning and laundry. OP comes off as faux humble, which people tend to be able to see through after a while. If you have the resources for a 15,000 sq ft house and a housekeeper and choose to live that lifestyle, be genuine and own it instead of pretending you're humble and modest.

PP, I'm not in disagreement with you, it's just that the first PP said that it must be that OP is off putting in some other way and I said that 14 pages of this thread have shown that it might also be that people are so off put by the size of the house that that might be all it takes for them to de-friend OP. I'm definitely not saying it isn't possible that OP is off putting, and I agree with you that some of the stuff she has said is a little odd.

[Anonymous]

I'd be concerned about letting my kids go to playdates in a house like that. It's way too big for supervision. I'm friends with a billionaire-class family whose name is well known to most Americans. None of their homes (they have homes in Greenwich, Palm Beach and Stowe, Vermont) approach that size.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are 15000 square foot houses around here even located? Way out in some random exurb? That would be way more off putting to me than the actual size.

Here's one. On Chain Bridge Road in Washington DC

https://www.zillow.com/homes/for_sale/Washington-DC/67393834_zpid/41568_rid/12000-15000_size/globalrelevanceex_sort/39.086903,-76.676331,38.699444,-77.352677_rect/10_zm/

I just spent at least 2 minutes toggling back and forth between the picture of the front of that house and the picture of the back. The realtor should have never put them side-by-side in the slideshow; it's like an architectural mullet!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are 15000 square foot houses around here even located? Way out in some random exurb? That would be way more off putting to me than the actual size.

Here's one. On Chain Bridge Road in Washington DC

https://www.zillow.com/homes/for_sale/Washington-DC/67393834_zpid/41568_rid/12000-15000_size/globalrelevanceex_sort/39.086903,-76.676331,38.699444,-77.352677_rect/10_zm/

I just spent at least 2 minutes toggling back and forth between the picture of the front of that house and the picture of the back. The realtor should have never put them side-by-side in the slideshow; it's like an architectural mullet!

I think the front is historic, and the back is addition.