Would you not reciprocate a play date if friend’s house was too big?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, is your house comfortable to hang out in? Would I feel okay putting my toddler down the moment we walked in the front door, or would I feel the need to pick him up at the door until we'd walked through the "formal" part of the house to the "play" part of the house? While I would have no problem being "grown-up" friends independent of my kids with someone whose house was that kind of showpiece, I probably wouldn't end up becoming "mom" friends, where a big part of our friend centers around getting our kids together for play dates, with someone who lived in that kind of house because I don't know that I'd ever feel truly comfortable having my kid in the space for fear of damaging something.

What on earth would a toddler "damage"?

they could knock over vases etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, is your house comfortable to hang out in? Would I feel okay putting my toddler down the moment we walked in the front door, or would I feel the need to pick him up at the door until we'd walked through the "formal" part of the house to the "play" part of the house? While I would have no problem being "grown-up" friends independent of my kids with someone whose house was that kind of showpiece, I probably wouldn't end up becoming "mom" friends, where a big part of our friend centers around getting our kids together for play dates, with someone who lived in that kind of house because I don't know that I'd ever feel truly comfortable having my kid in the space for fear of damaging something.

What on earth would a toddler "damage"?

they could knock over vases etc.

Yes, because vases only exist in 15000 sq foot homes

Using reasoning, one could potentially infer that there is more vase free space in a larger home, and thus it’s less likely one will get broken.

Regardless, is the problem vases or larger homes? Because I’m not sure the two always go together.

[Anonymous]

It won't hold me back from reciprocating, no. Unless I got a vibe from you that you are unfamiliar with lifestyles that don't involve large houses.

Having said this, I am genuinely puzzled. We have a large family and live in what I think is a very generously laid out 9000 sqft house. Every room is used. I just asked myself, if I had 6000 more sqft, how would I use it? And I genuinely have no answer. Can you share the approximate layout of your house? Just out of curiosity.

[Anonymous]

Anyone who will judge you based on the size of your home, big or small, is not worth having as a friend. I'm sure you do not judge people when you go their home if it is small. Nor should they if yours is big. It should be irrelevant unless you are a total snob/bitch which it does not sound like you are. When my oldest started pre-school in Potomac, her best friend lived in a 10,00 square foot home with two nannies and a house manager. We did not. Our girls are still good friends to this day and we are still friends with the parents to this day and go to dinner with them etc. Anyway, this period of time in moms' lives is so complicated because new moms all feel like they're being judged and compare themselves to everyone else. Then you look back and realize that none of it mattered as much as you thought. You'll look back at some point and realize that you have found your niche of friends and I can promise you, they will come from all backgrounds.