In laws wanting to use new vacation home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We recently acquired a vacation home. We are not renting it out. We let BIL use it once. Now he wants to go again.

Do you let your family use your home whenever they want?

We won’t be there and not use it for at least another month.

We let trusted close family and friends use the house if our immediate family isn’t using it. My sister and her family/friends left the place trashed and with weird damage once so they’re not allowed over unless it’s an extended family retreat.

We usually ask for $525/week to cover utilities and property taxes/wear and tear (regardless if it’s peak or non peak season). Yes our house is empty a lot of the time and walking distance to the beach - no you can not just stay there for free indefinitely.

This is how we approach it. Close family and friends can stay, but can lose the privilege if they aren't considerate or respectful. Thus far, it hasn't been an issue. Have never had to ask, people always offer the cleaning fee. People also always feel very bad about any damage they do (which has been minimal) and offer to pay to repair it. Depending on what it is, we sometimes take them up on it.

Listen to yourself, would you? "Close family and friends can stay, but can lose the privilege if they aren't considerate or respectful." Who do you think you are, the Queen of England? I'm sure glad you're not my "close family." You are insufferable.

[Anonymous]

I would let my siblings stay there. But I’d have a rule that they can’t invite other people to stay there with them. And they’d have to pay the cleaning fee plus cover utilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We recently acquired a vacation home. We are not renting it out. We let BIL use it once. Now he wants to go again.

Do you let your family use your home whenever they want?

We won’t be there and not use it for at least another month.

We let trusted close family and friends use the house if our immediate family isn’t using it. My sister and her family/friends left the place trashed and with weird damage once so they’re not allowed over unless it’s an extended family retreat.

We usually ask for $525/week to cover utilities and property taxes/wear and tear (regardless if it’s peak or non peak season). Yes our house is empty a lot of the time and walking distance to the beach - no you can not just stay there for free indefinitely.

This is how we approach it. Close family and friends can stay, but can lose the privilege if they aren't considerate or respectful. Thus far, it hasn't been an issue. Have never had to ask, people always offer the cleaning fee. People also always feel very bad about any damage they do (which has been minimal) and offer to pay to repair it. Depending on what it is, we sometimes take them up on it.

Listen to yourself, would you? "Close family and friends can stay, but can lose the privilege if they aren't considerate or respectful." Who do you think you are, the Queen of England? I'm sure glad you're not my "close family." You are insufferable.

WTF? Why do you think you are entitled to use other people’s properties how you please! Of course the owners can decide not to let you use it again! You are such a pig in your attitude!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would let my siblings stay there. But I’d have a rule that they can’t invite other people to stay there with them. And they’d have to pay the cleaning fee plus cover utilities.

And this makes you and unreasonable person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We recently acquired a vacation home. We are not renting it out. We let BIL use it once. Now he wants to go again.

Do you let your family use your home whenever they want?

We won’t be there and not use it for at least another month.

We let trusted close family and friends use the house if our immediate family isn’t using it. My sister and her family/friends left the place trashed and with weird damage once so they’re not allowed over unless it’s an extended family retreat.

We usually ask for $525/week to cover utilities and property taxes/wear and tear (regardless if it’s peak or non peak season). Yes our house is empty a lot of the time and walking distance to the beach - no you can not just stay there for free indefinitely.

This is how we approach it. Close family and friends can stay, but can lose the privilege if they aren't considerate or respectful. Thus far, it hasn't been an issue. Have never had to ask, people always offer the cleaning fee. People also always feel very bad about any damage they do (which has been minimal) and offer to pay to repair it. Depending on what it is, we sometimes take them up on it.

Listen to yourself, would you? "Close family and friends can stay, but can lose the privilege if they aren't considerate or respectful." Who do you think you are, the Queen of England? I'm sure glad you're not my "close family." You are insufferable.

WTF? Why do you think you are entitled to use other people’s properties how you please! Of course the owners can decide not to let you use it again! You are such a pig in your attitude!

Right now I am picturing you typing that in a double wide wearing a moo moo with a cigarette dangling out of your mouth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We recently acquired a vacation home. We are not renting it out. We let BIL use it once. Now he wants to go again.

Do you let your family use your home whenever they want?

We won’t be there and not use it for at least another month.

We let trusted close family and friends use the house if our immediate family isn’t using it. My sister and her family/friends left the place trashed and with weird damage once so they’re not allowed over unless it’s an extended family retreat.

We usually ask for $525/week to cover utilities and property taxes/wear and tear (regardless if it’s peak or non peak season). Yes our house is empty a lot of the time and walking distance to the beach - no you can not just stay there for free indefinitely.

This is how we approach it. Close family and friends can stay, but can lose the privilege if they aren't considerate or respectful. Thus far, it hasn't been an issue. Have never had to ask, people always offer the cleaning fee. People also always feel very bad about any damage they do (which has been minimal) and offer to pay to repair it. Depending on what it is, we sometimes take them up on it.

Listen to yourself, would you? "Close family and friends can stay, but can lose the privilege if they aren't considerate or respectful." Who do you think you are, the Queen of England? I'm sure glad you're not my "close family." You are insufferable.

WTF? Why do you think you are entitled to use other people’s properties how you please! Of course the owners can decide not to let you use it again! You are such a pig in your attitude!

Why are you obsessed with the word "entitled" asking for something is not an entitlement. Using it without permission is. Because it was assumed you wouldn't mind.

[Anonymous]

So, if your spouse was on this site, he'd write:

My brother wants to use our second house.

Should I let him?


Such a weird post OP, unless you 100% bought that house yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We recently acquired a vacation home. We are not renting it out. We let BIL use it once. Now he wants to go again.

Do you let your family use your home whenever they want?

We won’t be there and not use it for at least another month.

We let trusted close family and friends use the house if our immediate family isn’t using it. My sister and her family/friends left the place trashed and with weird damage once so they’re not allowed over unless it’s an extended family retreat.

We usually ask for $525/week to cover utilities and property taxes/wear and tear (regardless if it’s peak or non peak season). Yes our house is empty a lot of the time and walking distance to the beach - no you can not just stay there for free indefinitely.

This is how we approach it. Close family and friends can stay, but can lose the privilege if they aren't considerate or respectful. Thus far, it hasn't been an issue. Have never had to ask, people always offer the cleaning fee. People also always feel very bad about any damage they do (which has been minimal) and offer to pay to repair it. Depending on what it is, we sometimes take them up on it.

This is what we do as well. Only one set of ILs are on the blacklist and it’s because they caused $X,XXX in property damage and were generally disrespectful leaving their trash and old food to rot indefinitely at the house.

Everyone else we let stay has been perfectly normal and respectful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We recently acquired a vacation home. We are not renting it out. We let BIL use it once. Now he wants to go again.

Do you let your family use your home whenever they want?

We won’t be there and not use it for at least another month.

We let trusted close family and friends use the house if our immediate family isn’t using it. My sister and her family/friends left the place trashed and with weird damage once so they’re not allowed over unless it’s an extended family retreat.

We usually ask for $525/week to cover utilities and property taxes/wear and tear (regardless if it’s peak or non peak season). Yes our house is empty a lot of the time and walking distance to the beach - no you can not just stay there for free indefinitely.

This is how we approach it. Close family and friends can stay, but can lose the privilege if they aren't considerate or respectful. Thus far, it hasn't been an issue. Have never had to ask, people always offer the cleaning fee. People also always feel very bad about any damage they do (which has been minimal) and offer to pay to repair it. Depending on what it is, we sometimes take them up on it.

Listen to yourself, would you? "Close family and friends can stay, but can lose the privilege if they aren't considerate or respectful." Who do you think you are, the Queen of England? I'm sure glad you're not my "close family." You are insufferable.

WTF? Why do you think you are entitled to use other people’s properties how you please! Of course the owners can decide not to let you use it again! You are such a pig in your attitude!

Why are you obsessed with the word "entitled" asking for something is not an entitlement. Using it without permission is. Because it was assumed you wouldn't mind.

Whoa crazy pants using something without permission isn’t simply entitlement it’s theft, breaking and entering and trespassing!

Entitlement is inviting yourself or asking for something that you believe the other person should or will provide for you. It infers you deserve this and the inviting yourself or ask is simply correcting the owners lapse in not offering it again. Multiple posters are using the words entitled and moochers because they apply here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We recently acquired a vacation home. We are not renting it out. We let BIL use it once. Now he wants to go again.

Do you let your family use your home whenever they want?

We won’t be there and not use it for at least another month.

We let trusted close family and friends use the house if our immediate family isn’t using it. My sister and her family/friends left the place trashed and with weird damage once so they’re not allowed over unless it’s an extended family retreat.

We usually ask for $525/week to cover utilities and property taxes/wear and tear (regardless if it’s peak or non peak season). Yes our house is empty a lot of the time and walking distance to the beach - no you can not just stay there for free indefinitely.

This is how we approach it. Close family and friends can stay, but can lose the privilege if they aren't considerate or respectful. Thus far, it hasn't been an issue. Have never had to ask, people always offer the cleaning fee. People also always feel very bad about any damage they do (which has been minimal) and offer to pay to repair it. Depending on what it is, we sometimes take them up on it.

This is what we do as well. Only one set of ILs are on the blacklist and it’s because they caused $X,XXX in property damage and were generally disrespectful leaving their trash and old food to rot indefinitely at the house.

Everyone else we let stay has been perfectly normal and respectful.

Have you told them they are on the "blacklist?" I guess I am just nonconfrontational. We only allow people to stay when we are there. I can't imagine telling a family member they can never use the house again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We recently acquired a vacation home. We are not renting it out. We let BIL use it once. Now he wants to go again.

Do you let your family use your home whenever they want?

We won’t be there and not use it for at least another month.

We let trusted close family and friends use the house if our immediate family isn’t using it. My sister and her family/friends left the place trashed and with weird damage once so they’re not allowed over unless it’s an extended family retreat.

We usually ask for $525/week to cover utilities and property taxes/wear and tear (regardless if it’s peak or non peak season). Yes our house is empty a lot of the time and walking distance to the beach - no you can not just stay there for free indefinitely.

This is how we approach it. Close family and friends can stay, but can lose the privilege if they aren't considerate or respectful. Thus far, it hasn't been an issue. Have never had to ask, people always offer the cleaning fee. People also always feel very bad about any damage they do (which has been minimal) and offer to pay to repair it. Depending on what it is, we sometimes take them up on it.

This is what we do as well. Only one set of ILs are on the blacklist and it’s because they caused $X,XXX in property damage and were generally disrespectful leaving their trash and old food to rot indefinitely at the house.

Everyone else we let stay has been perfectly normal and respectful.

Have you told them they are on the "blacklist?" I guess I am just nonconfrontational. We only allow people to stay when we are there. I can't imagine telling a family member they can never use the house again.

Same. No one uses our house unless we are there. We make it about us instead of other people.

[Anonymous]

Have to say, charging for utilities really amazes me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We recently acquired a vacation home. We are not renting it out. We let BIL use it once. Now he wants to go again.

Do you let your family use your home whenever they want?

We won’t be there and not use it for at least another month.

We let trusted close family and friends use the house if our immediate family isn’t using it. My sister and her family/friends left the place trashed and with weird damage once so they’re not allowed over unless it’s an extended family retreat.

We usually ask for $525/week to cover utilities and property taxes/wear and tear (regardless if it’s peak or non peak season). Yes our house is empty a lot of the time and walking distance to the beach - no you can not just stay there for free indefinitely.

This is how we approach it. Close family and friends can stay, but can lose the privilege if they aren't considerate or respectful. Thus far, it hasn't been an issue. Have never had to ask, people always offer the cleaning fee. People also always feel very bad about any damage they do (which has been minimal) and offer to pay to repair it. Depending on what it is, we sometimes take them up on it.

Listen to yourself, would you? "Close family and friends can stay, but can lose the privilege if they aren't considerate or respectful." Who do you think you are, the Queen of England? I'm sure glad you're not my "close family." You are insufferable.

WTF? Why do you think you are entitled to use other people’s properties how you please! Of course the owners can decide not to let you use it again! You are such a pig in your attitude!

Why are you obsessed with the word "entitled" asking for something is not an entitlement. Using it without permission is. Because it was assumed you wouldn't mind.

Whoa crazy pants using something without permission isn’t simply entitlement it’s theft, breaking and entering and trespassing!

Entitlement is inviting yourself or asking for something that you believe the other person should or will provide for you. It infers you deserve this and the inviting yourself or ask is simply correcting the owners lapse in not offering it again. Multiple posters are using the words entitled and moochers because they apply here.

Entitlement is not simply asking for something. If they truly felt entitled they would demand or just take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, if your spouse was on this site, he'd write:

My brother wants to use our second house.

Should I let him?


Such a weird post OP, unless you 100% bought that house yourself.

OP "acquired" the house, whatever that means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We recently acquired a vacation home. We are not renting it out. We let BIL use it once. Now he wants to go again.

Do you let your family use your home whenever they want?

We won’t be there and not use it for at least another month.

We let trusted close family and friends use the house if our immediate family isn’t using it. My sister and her family/friends left the place trashed and with weird damage once so they’re not allowed over unless it’s an extended family retreat.

We usually ask for $525/week to cover utilities and property taxes/wear and tear (regardless if it’s peak or non peak season). Yes our house is empty a lot of the time and walking distance to the beach - no you can not just stay there for free indefinitely.

This is how we approach it. Close family and friends can stay, but can lose the privilege if they aren't considerate or respectful. Thus far, it hasn't been an issue. Have never had to ask, people always offer the cleaning fee. People also always feel very bad about any damage they do (which has been minimal) and offer to pay to repair it. Depending on what it is, we sometimes take them up on it.

Listen to yourself, would you? "Close family and friends can stay, but can lose the privilege if they aren't considerate or respectful." Who do you think you are, the Queen of England? I'm sure glad you're not my "close family." You are insufferable.

You’re unhinged. We love to share our cabin, consideration and respect for us and the property are just baseline expectations.