My kid witnessed another playdate - awkward - how to handle?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP gets 1 free pass to text another mom once and regret it, but if repeats, then is the mom to kid more likely to have tough time in MS when the real icing out can happen!!! Better to teach kid now that won’t always be invited and life goes on.

Except she doesn't regret it. She double and triple downed on her actions. She needs a parenting course.

I bet the group chat that does not include op is on fire. Please someone come and report back that you're in the chat

[Anonymous]

When my DS was in 1st grades a mom had a massive text message chain meltdown over something like this. He was my oldest, so I furiously apologized to the crazy mom and told her it would never happen again. The mom of the other kid (who was the youngest of four) curtly wrote back that it’s okay for kids to play with lots of different friends, and it resulted in the crazy mom getting the school involved. We laughed about it for years.

Joking aside, it sucks a bit but there life. Not everyone gets invited to every play date. And even worse, sometimes not everyone wants to be friends. This will shift a million times over the next 12 or so years. Buckle up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I was trying to advocate for my kid. She spent the afternoon alone crying while three friends were off having fun; how is that in any way fair? I am on the fence with how to respond to this girl's mother. She just responded with a "heart" emoji on my text and said, "I'm sorry she felt left out. Three kids is my max for playdate supervision. Hope we can see you soon." Not even an invite or any kind of ownership of the behavior.
Maybe I am being insecure or irrational but seeing your kid in tears, left out, visibly, hurts.

You are in for a long, painful rode if you are reacting like this while still in the playdate age.
Honestly, the best thing you can do for DD is to help her control her emotions, rand the fact that not being invited to one play date is not a big deal. This is a small issue and a small time in their life. You are doing your daughter no favors. Remember the phrase, ‘little kid, little problems, big kid, big problems’.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my DS was in 1st grades a mom had a massive text message chain meltdown over something like this. He was my oldest, so I furiously apologized to the crazy mom and told her it would never happen again. The mom of the other kid (who was the youngest of four) curtly wrote back that it’s okay for kids to play with lots of different friends, and it resulted in the crazy mom getting the school involved. We laughed about it for years.

Joking aside, it sucks a bit but there life. Not everyone gets invited to every play date. And even worse, sometimes not everyone wants to be friends. This will shift a million times over the next 12 or so years. Buckle up.

Oh mann. I bet the kid of that crazy mom did not get invited to anymore playdates. I can't believe she got the school involved!! What did the school do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Listen, OP totally did the wrong thing, mostly for her daughter, who needs to manage her disappointed feelings in a constructive way. But let’s face it; these moms and the social engineering and behind the scene games and the exclusion are also super gross. Oooh 4 girls is way too many for a play date!!! Give me a break! Mean girl sh*t!

You posted this once already. Nobody is buying this. There are many, many reasons why someone doesn't want to have 4 kids for a playdate. It is not mean girl behaviour at all. Go find some friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yesterday at pickup, my DD saw her best friend (and I'm also close friends with the mom) leaving with two other girls, and one of the girls' mothers.
My DD went up to her friend and said, "Can you come over and play?"
Her best friend said, "No, sorry, I'm going to Larla's house."
Larla's mom was standing right there and could have also offered to have my DD join the playdate. Instead, she just made a comment to my DD, ("What a cute shirt! Ready for soccer season?"), collected the three girls, and my DD was left standing with me. She then broke down in tears.

Meanwhile, the mom hosting the playdate has recently become close with my friend. I'm feeling like both my DD and I are somehow trying to be edged out by this mom. I'm considering texting her just to say how hurt my DD was that she couldn't have been included in the play date. How hard would it have been for the host mom to extend the invite to one more kid? Instead my kid got rejected in front of three kids. Wondering how to phrase it and what to say.

Don't do this. Teach your kid some reslience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I was trying to advocate for my kid. She spent the afternoon alone crying while three friends were off having fun; how is that in any way fair? I am on the fence with how to respond to this girl's mother. She just responded with a "heart" emoji on my text and said, "I'm sorry she felt left out. Three kids is my max for playdate supervision. Hope we can see you soon." Not even an invite or any kind of ownership of the behavior.
Maybe I am being insecure or irrational but seeing your kid in tears, left out, visibly, hurts.

This was a perfectly good and appropriate response do your insane text. She's being very kind. She doesn't need to demonstrate "ownership of the behavior" because she committed no faux pas (you did). She is setting good boundaries.

You need to get a grip. You ARE being irrational and insecure. You should work on this or you're going to have a really tough road ahead of you as a parent.

[Anonymous]

Wait till OP daughter doesn't get asked out on dates and her friends won't let her tag along on theirs lololollol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my DS was in 1st grades a mom had a massive text message chain meltdown over something like this. He was my oldest, so I furiously apologized to the crazy mom and told her it would never happen again. The mom of the other kid (who was the youngest of four) curtly wrote back that it’s okay for kids to play with lots of different friends, and it resulted in the crazy mom getting the school involved. We laughed about it for years.

Joking aside, it sucks a bit but there life. Not everyone gets invited to every play date. And even worse, sometimes not everyone wants to be friends. This will shift a million times over the next 12 or so years. Buckle up.

Oh mann. I bet the kid of that crazy mom did not get invited to anymore playdates. I can't believe she got the school involved!! What did the school do?

The school's response was that we don't get involved in disputes between grownups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I was trying to advocate for my kid. She spent the afternoon alone crying while three friends were off having fun; how is that in any way fair? I am on the fence with how to respond to this girl's mother. She just responded with a "heart" emoji on my text and said, "I'm sorry she felt left out. Three kids is my max for playdate supervision. Hope we can see you soon." Not even an invite or any kind of ownership of the behavior.
Maybe I am being insecure or irrational but seeing your kid in tears, left out, visibly, hurts.

Honestly, I'm impressed with the response you got. That is a woman who understands how to respond to an awkward social situation with grace and kindness. Learn from her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my DS was in 1st grades a mom had a massive text message chain meltdown over something like this. He was my oldest, so I furiously apologized to the crazy mom and told her it would never happen again. The mom of the other kid (who was the youngest of four) curtly wrote back that it’s okay for kids to play with lots of different friends, and it resulted in the crazy mom getting the school involved. We laughed about it for years.

Joking aside, it sucks a bit but there life. Not everyone gets invited to every play date. And even worse, sometimes not everyone wants to be friends. This will shift a million times over the next 12 or so years. Buckle up.

Oh mann. I bet the kid of that crazy mom did not get invited to anymore playdates. I can't believe she got the school involved!! What did the school do?

The school's response was that we don't get involved in disputes between grownups.

Ha! That must have really dialed up the awkwardness!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my DS was in 1st grades a mom had a massive text message chain meltdown over something like this. He was my oldest, so I furiously apologized to the crazy mom and told her it would never happen again. The mom of the other kid (who was the youngest of four) curtly wrote back that it’s okay for kids to play with lots of different friends, and it resulted in the crazy mom getting the school involved. We laughed about it for years.

Joking aside, it sucks a bit but there life. Not everyone gets invited to every play date. And even worse, sometimes not everyone wants to be friends. This will shift a million times over the next 12 or so years. Buckle up.

Laughed for years? You are a small person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I was trying to advocate for my kid. She spent the afternoon alone crying while three friends were off having fun; how is that in any way fair? I am on the fence with how to respond to this girl's mother. She just responded with a "heart" emoji on my text and said, "I'm sorry she felt left out. Three kids is my max for playdate supervision. Hope we can see you soon." Not even an invite or any kind of ownership of the behavior.
Maybe I am being insecure or irrational but seeing your kid in tears, left out, visibly, hurts.

Honestly, I'm impressed with the response you got. That is a woman who understands how to respond to an awkward social situation with grace and kindness. Learn from her.

+1. OP doesn’t even realize it either. She wasn’t even happy with that response. She was expecting the mom to invite her child to something or own up to her behavior as she stated above.

She is in for a world of social isolation for her child if that is how she sees things. Poor kid. I feel sorry for her since OP has no clue about social norms and thinks the world and everyone and everything should revolve around her child and her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Meanwhile, the mom hosting the playdate has recently become close with my friend. I'm feeling like both my DD and I are somehow trying to be edged out by this mom.

This is the real gist of the OP. It’s all about the poster. Like mother like daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I was trying to advocate for my kid. She spent the afternoon alone crying while three friends were off having fun; how is that in any way fair? I am on the fence with how to respond to this girl's mother. She just responded with a "heart" emoji on my text and said, "I'm sorry she felt left out. Three kids is my max for playdate supervision. Hope we can see you soon." Not even an invite or any kind of ownership of the behavior.
Maybe I am being insecure or irrational but seeing your kid in tears, left out, visibly, hurts.

Are you a troll? Then invite them over yourself. Why do you think you are entitled to have your kid invited to someone else’s house?
If this happened to my kid, I would A) invite another friend over for the afternoon B) plan a play date and invite the three friends over on another day
Instead you chose C) be petty and push my way in, while not accepting any responsibility myself